The Deputy's Lost and Found (10 page)

Her heart leaped with something akin to fear. So it was now confirmed. She had been at the local racetrack before she’d been injured.

“Why is the jockey just now coming forward with this information?” she asked, her mind swirling with confusion. “Does he know me personally?”

Brady frowned at her last question. “Why, no. Should he? I mean, do you think in your past that you might have rubbed shoulders that closely with people in the racing circle?”

Tormented by the empty spaces in her mind, she looked at him. “I can’t explain it, Brady. It’s impossible for me to recall my parents’ name, or mine for that matter, but these past few days I’ve come to realize that I can name every racetrack in the southwest and most of their leading riders, including Ruidoso Downs. I even recall visiting most of the tracks. That has to mean that I was closely associated with the business somehow. But if that’s true, then someone should have recognized me before now—-before this jockey. Oh, Brady, this is crazy, I know. I’m crazy!”

“Lass!” he gently scolded, “don’t ever say that about yourself. You’ve had an injury and you can’t remember everything. That doesn’t mean you’ve lost your mind. There could be all sorts of explanations why no one has recognized you,” Brady reasoned. “Could be you’ve been away from the business for a few years. Or your appearance has changed. That’s not uncommon with young women changing their hair color or style. I’ve had Liam asking around his racing circles to see if anyone has been reported missing, but no one he contacted knows you. But then if you were associated with quarter horses or standard breds he wouldn’t be familiar with you or your connections.”

She let out a heavy sigh and tried her best to smile at him. “That’s true. And I’m sorry, Brady for being so negative. Please—go on about this jockey.”

“Well, he says that after the meet that Sunday, he flew out to California to ride at Hollywood Park. He didn’t return until yesterday and that’s when he saw your picture posted in the clubhouse.”

“And out of a crowd of thousands, he remembers seeing me? That sounds highly unlikely.”

He continued on in a patient voice, “Lass, you were supposedly standing outside of the saddling paddock just where the horses start onto the track for the post parade. He says he remembers this because his mount tossed him to the dirt right in front of you and he was naturally a little embarrassed about losing his seat in front of an attractive young woman.”

Jockeys often lost their seat in the saddle, she thought. It wasn’t like that would have been a major occurrence. Still, with it happening right in front of her, she should be able to remember the incident. And yet, she couldn’t even recall being at the track that day. “Did he have any other information that might help identify me?”

The corners of Brady’s mouth curved downward. “Not exactly. But he does recall that a man was with you. The jockey described this man as being tall, dark-haired and somewhere in his mid- to late-twenties. This new information doesn’t necessarily move our case forward,” he added, “but it underscores everything that Johnny Chino uncovered. I believe this man at the track is the same man you struggled with on the mountain highway.”

Inside her, fear and confusion roiled like a black cloud. She felt suffocated and shaken. “Oh, God, Brady, who was that man?” With both hands, she reached for his arm and clung to him tightly. “Why was I at the track with someone who wanted to…hurt me?”

“Lass, have you ever stopped to think you didn’t want to be there with him?”

Her brows pulled together. Could that have happened? Or had she been with this man because she’d wrongly trusted him?

Oh, come on, Lass. It was just a kiss. You know you liked it. Show me again, baby, show me how much you want me.

Suddenly an image was exploding behind her eyes and in it the man’s lips were grinding down on hers, bruising, hurting, repulsing her in every way. She pushed hard against his chest and turned to run.

“Lass? Honey, what’s wrong?”

Brady’s hand stroked her upper arm as Lass struggled to jerk her thoughts back to the present.

“I—Nothing is wrong,” she said in a strained voice.

“Nothing! You’re trembling, Lass.” He wrapped his hand firmly around her elbow. “I want you to go to Dallas’s office and lie down on the couch. I’ll see after Tyler and the rest of the kids.”

Shaking her head, she suddenly set her jaw with determination. Before her accident a man had been trying to manipulate her. She was certain of that now. But who and why? Why had he been kissing her and why had she hated his very touch? Clearly, he was a part of those bad things she’d been running from. And was still running from. Sooner or later, she was going to have to turn and face the shadowy man. Face everything she’d left behind.

“I’m okay, Brady. And I really don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She pulled her elbow from his grasp. “I’m going to check on the children.”

As she walked away, Brady didn’t try to stop her. But he desperately wanted to. There was something troubling her. Something more than having to accept that another human being had tried to harm her. He almost got the feeling that a part of her didn’t want him to solve the mystery of her identity.

But then, a part of him didn’t want to solve it, either.

O
n certain days of the week, Dallas kept the stables open and running so that working parents could bring their children after work hours. But the next evening wasn’t a day with extended hours, which allowed Lass to return to the ranch house well in advance of dinnertime. After showering and changing into a peach-colored sundress and a pair of sandals, she started down the stairs with plans to head to the family room.

Normally Kate was the first one there to drink a glass of wine and play her beloved piano. During these past weeks Lass had been on the Diamond D, she’d grown close to the older Donovan woman. Kate was gruff and forward in many ways, but there was a calm strength to the woman that comforted Lass.

“Now this is what I call perfect timing. And you’re even dressed for the part.”

Hearing Brady’s voice, Lass glanced up to see him standing at the foot of the stairs. Apparently he’d been home long enough to change out of his uniform. A pair of worn jeans hugged his thighs and hips while a navy blue T-shirt was tucked into the lean waistband. He looked handsome and sexy, yet it was the warm smile on his face that drew her to him, touched her just as deeply as his kiss.

“Hello, Brady,” she greeted, her heart booming in her chest. “I wasn’t expecting to see you. Last night at the stables, you said your schedule was changing and that you’d be working late.”

She stepped off the bottom stair and he immediately pressed a kiss to her cheek and slung his arm through hers.

“My schedule changed at the last minute. I’m going to a party. Sheriff’s orders. And I want you to come along with me.”

Unconsciously her palm flattened against her chest. “Me? But I don’t know the sheriff, Brady. And I—” biting her lip, she glanced awkwardly away from him “—I really don’t want to discuss my case with a…group of strange people.”

He gave her arm a reassuring squeeze. “Trust me, honey, there won’t be any talk about work. Not from me or the sheriff. If anyone else brings up your situation and you don’t want to talk about it, then tell them to mind their own business.”

“Oh, Brady,” she lightly scolded. “That would be rude and uncomfortable.”

“Listen, beautiful, what would be rude and uncomfortable is for you to make me to go to the party tonight without a date. Especially when I was counting on you.”

A wry smile of surrender touched her lips. How could she say no to him, when every cell in her body wanted to be with the man? Since that night she’d remembered her
mother’s death, their relationship had taken a different turn. He seemed to be more gentle, more concerned about her feelings. And whenever he kissed her, it was more than fiery lust. Now when their lips met, she tasted tender passion, felt emotions gently knocking on her heart and begging to come in. If he was seeing other women while he was away from the ranch, she didn’t know. Nor did she feel she had the right to question him. But deep down, whenever he looked at her, touched her, she wanted to believe she was special to him. More special than any other woman had been to him.

“All right. I suppose I can go. But what about dinner with your family? And—” she glanced doubtfully down at her dress “—am I dressed appropriately for this outing?”

“Forget dinner with the folks. We’ll be eating at the Hamiltons. Their twin boys are turning twelve this week and they’re having a little family celebration.”

“Oh. And you’re considered family? Or was the rest of the sheriff’s staff invited, too?” she asked.

The impish grin on his face told Lass that he and the sheriff were closer than he wanted his coworkers to know.

“Some of them will be there. The rest had to stay behind and work.” He gestured up to the second floor where the bedrooms were located. “If you want to take a purse or anything, now would be the time to get it. We need to be leaving.”

She rolled her eyes. “You believe in giving a girl plenty of notice, don’t you?”

He winked. “Gives her less time to back out on me,” he teased.

Sure, Lass thought, as she hurried up the stairs to fetch her purse. She doubted Brady had ever been stood up by any woman. And here she was falling over herself to have an outing with the man. What did that say about her? That
she was gullible? Vulnerable? Foolish? Or all three? The answer hardly mattered, she told herself. Her resistance had crumbled the moment she’d looked up to see him at the foot of the stairs, smiling as though she was the only woman in his life.

The Hamilton ranch, the Bar H Bar, was located several miles east of Carrizozo, the little county seat where the sheriff’s department was located. Just as the sun was setting, Brady drove slowly through an open mesa covered with creosote, grama grass and blue sage. Here and there, prickly pear and cholla cacti grew at the road’s edge. Some of the pear cactus was in bloom and the bright yellow roses reminded her of some distant place in her mind, a place where the sun was hot and horse’s hooves thundered over a plowed track, giant live oaks spread like deep green umbrellas, shading the lawns and pastures with their sheltering arms.

Home. Was that her home? The snatches of memory caused a part of her heart to ache with longing. Yet when she turned her gaze upon Brady, she realized the thought of leaving him made her ache even more.

“You’ve gone quiet, Lass. What are you thinking?” Brady asked as he steered the truck over the graveled road. “Are you nervous about meeting my friends?”

By now the mesa was behind them and they were traveling into a group of low-rising hills. Juniper and pinyon dotted the desert slopes while spiny yucca plants dared to grow between slabs of rock.

“A little,” she admitted. “But I was mostly thinking how beautiful this land is. How different it is where I came from.”

He darted a sharp glance at her. “You’re sure about that?” he asked, then grimaced. “Sorry. I forgot that you didn’t want to talk about your amnesia this evening.”

“It’s not a pleasant topic,” she said flatly. “But I’m beginning to see that it’s a subject I can’t avoid entirely. Everything I look at, think about, talk about, connects to my memory. I’m beginning to think I’ve lost the most important part of my brain.”

“You’re going to get it back, Lass. I’m as sure of that as I’m sure my middle name is Roark.”

Turning slightly in the seat, she studied him instead of the darkening landscape. “Well, to answer your earlier question, yes, I’m sure I didn’t live in a desert area. But I’m fairly certain I’ve been to New Mexico before. It all feels familiar to me now. But then maybe that’s because your family has made me feel so at home.”

“I’m glad,” he said, then slanted a look her way. “And as for my friends, Lass, don’t worry about them. They’re all just plain folks like us Donovans.”

There was nothing plain about the Donovans, she thought. Especially Brady. On the surface he appeared to be a lighthearted, easygoing guy, but that was only one slice of the man. She’d seen it that night he’d found her in the ditch, when he’d stood over her hospital bed and held her hand. And last night, when he’d helped her with Tyler, she’d known he was doing it from his heart and not just for effect.

“I doubt you’ve ever been described as plain,” she said to him. “Why, I even bet in high school you dated the football homecoming queen or the captain of the cheerleading squad, didn’t you?”

“Me? Not hardly. Those sorts of girls were too conceited for my taste. They’d rather look at themselves than at me.”

Smiling now, Lass glanced curiously over to him. “I’m shocked. So what sort of girls did you go for? I won’t believe you if you say the studious type.”

He pulled a playful face at her. “Actually, I did have a
studious girlfriend once. She was an honor student. Unfortunately she liked boys as much as she liked getting straight A’s. She was a fickle little thing.”

“Hmm.” She gave him a furtive peek from the corner of her eye. “So what sort of girls do you like now?”

“Oh, that’s easy enough to answer. I like the kind of girl who can’t remember her own name.”

It took a few seconds for the meaning of his words to sink in and then she began to laugh.

Chuckling with her, Brady reached for her hand and as their fingers entwined, she wondered how she could feel so warm and happy at a time like this. Someone had tried to injure or kill her. She didn’t know who she was or where she belonged. Yet as long as she was with Brady she could laugh and hope and dream.

She was falling in love with him. To admit it to herself was somewhat of a relief. But to admit it to him would be something altogether different. To reveal her feelings to him now would either draw the two of them closer, or pull them apart. And she was desperately scared of either outcome.

Thankfully, the party at the Hamiltons’ proved to be big enough that she didn’t have to spend a lot of time making one-on-one conversation with Brady’s friends and acquaintances. Instead, he squired her from one group to the next with hardly a chance to make more than small talk.

The twins, Jacob and Jason, were a polite, good-looking pair and at the age where they weren’t quite sure if they were still rowdy boys or know-it-all teenagers.

Clearly, their parents understood them, and after the children and adults had partaken of a big barbecue spread, the twins and their young guests were excused to the barn, where they were going to have their own little party.
Penny, their mother, told Lass that the twins’ idea of fun was a bucking barrel, a churn of homemade ice cream and a group of girls to watch while the boys made fools of themselves.

Later that evening as Lass sat with their hostess on the edge of a large patio, sipping punch from a paper cup, she commented, “It must be a labor of love to raise twin boys.”

Smiling, the dark-haired woman nodded. “They’re a handful, but more than worth it.”

Three hours had passed since the party first started and now all the adult guests had departed, except for Lass and Brady. While she and Penny enjoyed the quietness, Brady and the sheriff had disappeared into the house. In spite of him assuring Lass that work wouldn’t be discussed, she figured that’s exactly what the two men were doing. And she wondered if the sheriff might have uncovered something about her case, but hadn’t wanted to say anything in front of her.

God, she hoped not. Tonight she simply wanted to pretend that her name really was Lass and that she belonged here. With Brady.

“Brady tells me you’re expecting another baby soon,” Lass said to the other woman. He’d also revealed to Lass that Penny had once been the county judge for Lincoln County, a position she’d held up until the twins had been born. Since then, the woman worked at her own private law practice.

Penny’s eyes glowed as she smiled at Lass. “That’s right. I gave birth to the twins shortly before Christmas during a snowstorm.” She patted her slightly rounded tummy. “This one is supposed to arrive a little after New Year’s and I’m hoping that this time a blizzard won’t come with it.”

How wonderful that would be, Lass thought, to be having a child with a man you were madly in love with, to
plan together for its arrival. Instinctively her hand settled against her own flat midsection.

Now that she’d had plenty of time to think about it, she believed Bridget that she’d never gone through the miraculous experience of childbirth. Yet she knew that having a child was something she’d always longed for. But had there been a man to make that wish come true? No. She refused to believe she’d been madly in love with a man before she’d met Brady. As far as she was concerned, Brady was the first and the last man to step into her heart.

“Do you know if you’re going to have twins again?” Lass asked.

Penny laughed. “Oh, dear. That’s something Ethan and I have been thinking about. Ethan wants a pair of girls. But the doctor says he can’t yet discern whether there are two.”

Smiling, Lass told her, “I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you’ll get those girls.”

Playfully wrinkling her nose, Penny leaned forward and said in a low, conspiring tone, “To be honest, I wouldn’t know what to do with little girls. I love having rough and tumble sons. But I guess I could learn how to tie ribbons and fix ponytails.”

The two women shared a chuckle and then Penny said in a more serious voice, “Brady tells me you’ve been helping Dallas at the stables.”

“That’s right. And I’m loving every minute of being with the children,” Lass admitted.

“Then I’m sure that someday you’ll be like me,” Penny replied. “With a house full of kids and more on the way. “

Could Lass allow herself to dream about such things? she wondered. And more important, would Brady want to be a part of those dreams?

You’re being very foolish, Lass. Brady is thirty years old
and from what his family says, he’s shown no interest in getting married or having children. He’s not even been engaged. He’s not thinking of you in those terms. Besides, you might already have a husband somewhere. A husband who wanted to hurt you.

Doing her best to push away the dark, mocking voice in her mind, she smiled wanly. “I hope you’re right, Penny. But until that day comes I’m happy helping Dallas. Kids and horses. It’s a combination I can’t resist.”

She couldn’t resist Brady, either, Lass thought with a heavy dose of unease. From the moment she’d opened her eyes and seen his face hovering over hers, she’d felt a sudden connection. And with each day, each hour that passed, that connection continued to deepen.

How soon would it be, she wondered sickly, before that man in her past, the man with the repulsive kiss, showed up on the Diamond D and put an end to all her hopes and dreams?

Later that night, on the way home, Brady was mostly quiet and Lass was content to lean her head back and let her thoughts stray to nothing in particular. But by the time he turned the truck onto Diamond D property, she was beginning to get the sense that something was wrong.

“Brady,” she asked, as he let the two of them into the house, “have I…done something wrong? Did I embarrass you in some way tonight?”

He curled his arm around the back of her waist as they began to climb the long wooden staircase. “Are you kidding? You were perfect. Everyone loved you. Why would you think such a thing?”