The Critic (17 page)

I didn’t want to rehash the entire thing, so I just summed it up. “Bentley’s involved with a theater guild, and they’re going to fund the show.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” Gina furrowed her brows.

“Yes, that part is fine. But at the re-audition, Lucy got the part.” I shrugged one shoulder. “But that’s not the worst part.”

“What’s worse than that, and what does that have to do with Bentley?” Gina placed her hand on mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“After Lucy got the role, she thanked Bentley for his help.” My wine was going down easier than it should have been. I kept refilling my glass.

“Holy shit! He’s involved with Lucy?” Gina put her hand on her chest. “What the fuck?”

Seth shifted in his chair. “Okay, ladies, let’s have some pizza. I’m starving.” He smiled as he lifted the brown cardboard cover. “Looks good, right?”

The smells of tomato, cheese, and pepperoni were comforting. I took out a piece and placed it on my plate, but I just picked at the crust, placing small portions in my mouth. I thought about the last time I’d shared a meal at that table and wondered if Bentley could eat pizza with chopsticks. Knowing him, he probably could, or at least he’d say he could. My frustration over what had happened rattled me to my core. How did I let myself end up in this situation? Would I ever be able to forget him?

Gina swallowed a bite of pizza. “Did Bentley tell you what was going on? Why would he do that to you?”

“I don’t know why he did what he did. I really didn’t want to hear his explanation.” I knew how dumb that sounded, but it was the truth. I stood and placed the plate on my counter, but I grabbed my glass on my way to my comfy chair in the living room, leaving my friends at the table. I wrapped my legs with one arm as I continued to drink. Before I knew it, my glass was empty again. “Hey, Seth, is there more wine?”

Seth walked over to fill my glass. “Don’t you think you should slow down since you’re not eating?”

“No, I don’t.” He was right of course, but I didn’t really care. With more wine, I’d finally begun to relax.

Gina and Seth joined me in the living room.

I looked at them and smiled. “You two should hook up. You’re cute together.” I giggled as my head spun.

“Andi, I think you need to lie down. This has been an eventful day.” Gina looked at me with sympathy but not pity. That was why I loved her.

“Don’t you think Seth’s cute?” Either my words were coming out in a slur or my ears were hearing things wrong. I felt really dizzy as I stood.

Seth was at my side in an instant. “Why don’t you go to bed? It’s late, and we can talk about Gina and me hooking up tomorrow.” His smile was bright but laced with concern for me.

“Fine, but I’m really not tired.” I grabbed my phone off the coffee table and started to my room. I turned back to see my friends looking at me. “Guys, I’m fine. Thank you for the food. I’ll clean up in the morning. You two should go and enjoy your night. I’ll call you both tomorrow.”

Gina paused before standing. “Love you, Andi.”

I smiled. “Love you too, G.”

After the door clicked closed behind them, I locked it and continued to my room. Once I’d crawled into bed in a T-shirt, I looked at my phone and stared at the green message icon. As I went to set it down, it dinged with a message from him.

Bentley:
You’re mad. I get it. It wasn’t my intent.

The wine was still swirling around in my brain. I blinked to focus on the screen. As my eyes filled and my heart raced, I typed.

Andi:
I am mad. No, you don’t get it. What was your intention?

Send.
The pain in my chest from my shattered heart was sobering me up. My phone dinged again.

Bentley:
I do get it. My intentions were clear. I wanted the best for you.

Andi:
And that would be you?

Bentley:
I guess we’ll never know.

Bentley:
Bye, Andi.

I couldn’t peel my eyes from the blurry words, nor could I reply, because he was right—we’d never know. My nose tingled, and my chin quivered. Just a week ago, I had been in rehearsals and dreaming of making it big. Now I was unemployed and alone.

How I’d let that happen was beyond me. I didn’t want him. I didn’t want to sit around, buzzed and depressed. I looked at the
Edge
on my dresser. My sadness returned to the anger I’d felt earlier. Screw him and his intentions.
Fuck!
I hadn’t needed him before, and I didn’t need him now. That was what my brain was saying. My heart was feeling the complete opposite.

Thoughts of our time together replayed in my head. His strong lips, rippled abs, perfectly messed-up hair, striking eyes . . . I shook my head and tried to rid my brain of the images that kept appearing. Then I realized I needed to rid my heart of it because I had begun to fall hard for Bentley Chambers.

Once morning came, my head felt as if it weighed fifty pounds when I attempted to lift it off the pillow. My hand went to my forehead as I dragged myself out of bed and glanced at the clock on my nightstand. Wow, it was already one in the afternoon. I’d never slept so late. One look in the mirror, and the previous night came back to me: wine, Seth, Gina, text messages . . . shit. I wiped the eyeliner off the bottom of my eyes and brushed my teeth, which felt covered in burlap. Then I grabbed my phone and reread the text messages from Bentley. Well, I really just read the last one.
I guess we’ll never know.
Nope, I supposed we wouldn’t.

With my phone in hand, I meandered to the kitchen for a glass of water. I decided to curl up on my couch, but I was interrupted by a knock on the door. I didn’t get up to answer, hoping whoever it was would go away. Then I heard Gina’s voice calling my name, so I got up and let Gina in.

“Girlfriend, I brought lunch!” Her voice was as bubbly as she was beautiful. She headed to the kitchen table and opened the brown bag she was holding.

Once it was open, my nostrils filled with the familiar scent of Chinese food. I stood rooted in place.

“What’s the matter? Did you eat already?” Her eyes saddened.

I swallowed hard, past the sorrow lodged in my throat, and walked over to the table. I stared at the chopsticks next to the containers.

“I’ll get you a fork. I know you hate these.” She headed toward the kitchen.

My hand caught hers. “No! I’d like to use these.” A tear escaped as I stared at the black-and-red wrapper.

“Okay, what gives? Spill it. Since when does my best friend cry at the drop of a dime, much less over chopsticks? Is it your job? Because if it is, then we need to talk.” Gina continued to open containers.

“I really don’t want to talk about it. What’s there to talk about? We’re done.” I set down the sticks.

Gina’s forehead creased as her eyebrows rose. She stuck a fork in one of the containers and grabbed a piece of broccoli. “Don’t you mean it’s done?”

Now it was my turn to be confused. “What?”

“You said, ‘we’re done.’ Did you mean ‘it’? The play? Or are you talking about something else?”

I hadn’t even realized I’d slipped up. “Yes, of course I meant the show. It’s over.” I shifted the food in the container with my sticks.

“Well, what if I told you that I got a great job offer yesterday?” She smiled and popped a piece of chicken in her mouth.

Finally something to smile about! “That’s great! I’m so happy for you! Where is it? Come on, give me deets!”

She swallowed and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Well, it’s on Broadway!”

“Oh my God! I’m so excited for you! That’s amazing!”

We both jumped up and hugged, spinning around. Her happiness radiated off her, and I was so happy to be able to enjoy it with her.

She didn’t let go of me when she said, “They’re still building the cast, and I gave them your name.”

I pulled back and looked at her. “What?”

“Okay, don’t flip out on me. First of all, this all happened before you lost your job. I don’t want you to think that I thought you were going to lose it, because I didn’t. But this is already going to be on Broadway, and yes, the main characters are cast, but the supporting actress sprained her knee when she fell off the stage showing off for the male lead.” Gina burst into fit of giggles. “I wish you could’ve been there. I’m sorry she got hurt, but honestly, Andi, I was laughing so hard I thought I would pee my pants.” Gina grabbed two diet sodas from the fridge. “So what do you think?”

What did I think? “Thank you so much for doing this for me.” It was a dream come true, but my tone was less enthusiastic than I’d intended. I was truly grateful, but I continued to stare at the chopsticks in my hand.

“Andi, please talk to me.” Gina’s voice sounded as if she were a minute away from pleading for answers.

I set the sticks down and rolled one with my index finger. “I fell for him, and he didn’t feel the same. It’s been years since I’ve felt this way. To be honest, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way.”

“What makes you think he doesn’t feel the same?”

“See these chopsticks?”

Gina nodded.

“We had takeout the other night, and I didn’t know how to use these.”

She giggled. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I was going to get you a fork.”

Fork.
“See, that’s the thing. He taught me how to use these stupid things and told me he had confidence in me. He made me believe that I could be the absolute best and that I was special to him. So why didn’t he tell me that he’s in the habit of helping actresses? He knew how I felt about accepting help from him, but I swallowed my pride, and I did it. Bentley gave me confidence. He made me feel good about myself. Then he ruined everything. I just don’t understand why. Out of all the things he could have done, this is just unacceptable.”

Gina took a deep breath. “I don’t know him well enough to answer that. All I know is I think you’re wonderful, and I knew he would too. Maybe he just wanted to support you.”

“Or maybe he just wanted to sleep with me.” I dropped my head in my hands and sighed. “Damn him.”

“Did he say he’d slept with Lucy?”

I shook my head.

“Then maybe he didn’t,” she said. “I love you, but you could have totally blown this out of proportion. I could tell he had confidence in you, or he wouldn’t have wasted his time.”

Gina made sense, but she still hadn’t made me feel better. “Really? His time? It’s amazing he had time to spend with me since he was apparently coaching Lucy too.” My voice rose, and I felt immediate remorse for using this tone with her.

“But you don’t know that for sure, do you? You only think you know what happened.” Now her tone mirrored mine.

“No, I don’t know anything anymore.” I should have let him explain. I had drawn my own conclusions, and that was different than having them confirmed.

“Okay, look. It’s done, right? So how about I call the casting director and tell him you’re interested? He said he saw you in a summer stock production in Boston, so he’s familiar with you and is happy to hear you may be available. What do you think?” Gina’s hands were clasped under her chin. “We can work together in the city! It’s a short gig, only a short run.” She batted her eyes.

“That’d be great. I was going to spend the day looking through the trades and calling some contacts, but I appreciate you opening this door for me.” For the first time today, I smiled and meant it.

I woke up feeling like shit for the way I’d left things with Andi, but I dragged my ass to the shower and got ready to go back to the city. My bag was packed. I took a minute to look at my last message to Andi. I shook my head and headed out the door.

The car service I’d hired was waiting for me. As we drove back to New York, I wondered why this had happened. Would I ever have a normal relationship? I’d thought she was different, and it hurt to realize I’d been wrong. My phone vibrated in my jacket pocket, and my heart skipped a beat until I saw Brett’s name on the screen.

Brett:
Bro, you coming home today?

Bentley:
In the car now. Be there soon.

Brett:
Cool. Lunch?

Bentley:
Yeah, okay.

Brett:
Come to the club.

Bentley:
Okay, see you around noon.

My apartment was silent when I got in. I tossed my keys on the side table and sat in my favorite chair, thinking about the past few days. How she could flip on me so quickly baffled me. For her to think I’d told her those things just to get her into bed pissed me off. Maybe she’d been using me for a good review.
Fuck!