The Cowboy's E-Mail Order Bride (5 page)

No. He knew that wasn’t right. He knew it.

But the thought haunted him for days. It was with him when he confessed to Lacey the state of the ranch. It rung in his brain when she recoiled from him, ran away and refused to take his calls. Stuck in his head when he began to hear the rumors that she’d taken up with another man – a rich outsider come to town to buy a show ranch.

It kept him up through long nights of imagining that stranger touching her – sleeping with her. Prevented him from eating, and brought up whatever food he managed to choke down, while he struggled to find a foothold in the mountain of debt that would allow him to keep the ranch – and a reason to keep on trying now that Lacey had abandoned him. He wanted to throttle his father. Why hadn’t he stood up to his mother? Why hadn’t he stopped her?

Why hadn’t he taken Ethan with them in the car that day, instead of leaving him to face this all on his own?

Driven by that last awful thought, he’d finally sought out Joe Halpern in town, the pastor of his parents’ church – the one he hadn’t attended in years – and let the whole thing spill out of him. Joe’s words had been a kindness to him that day and they’d stuck with him ever since.

“Your father wasn’t a quitter, Ethan. He worked hard every day because he saw opportunity around every corner. He loved your mom, maybe a little too much since it seems to have knocked the sense right out of him, but love does that sometimes. And that’s okay, because in the end that’s all that matters. You’ll find a way to turn things around, and even if you don’t, you’ll be all right, because in the end it’s the people in our lives, not the things we own, that make life worth living.”

He wasn’t sure if he agreed with that last part, but Joe was right about his father. Alex Cruz wasn’t a quitter, and if he’d let his wife overspend it was because he adored her and wanted her to be happy. He must have thought he’d be able to recoup those costs and pay down that debt. And if he thought so, there must be a way. Ethan just had to find it.

Even if he did, that wouldn’t fix the problem of the woman sleeping it off in his bedroom. A wave of heat ran through him although the air was still cool. She was something else. A beautiful, hot, curvaceous, willing woman who’d flown all this way simply to be with him. To join her whole life to his.

Always and forever.

The thought revved him up more than he wanted to admit.

Could it work?

No way. The whole thing was preposterous – outrageously stupid. If he’d learned anything in the past eight months, surely it was not to trust a beautiful woman. Or fate.

He had to sit her down, explain the whole thing, wipe away her tears and put her on that plane.

* * * * *

Autumn awoke with a start.

Something was wrong. Something was really, really wrong.

As she did a mental inventory, her stomach pulled into a sickening knot and the back of her throat ached.

Was she hurt? No, but she didn’t feel exactly normal…down there.

Where was she? In her apartment? No, and not at a hotel either. In a man’s bedroom, in…
Ethan’s
bedroom.

And it all came back in a rush. Arriving by plane, acting her part, going to DelMonaco’s, Rob announcing their engagement to all and sundry, the drinks, more drinks, more drinks, and then….

Oh no.

No. She couldn’t have. She…ohmygod she was naked and…oh, yeah, she’d definitely had sex.

With a stranger.

Without protection.

Shit.

She sat up and the whole world swum around her as she clutched the comforter to her chest. Where were her clothes, dammit? No, scratch that – where was the washroom?

She dashed across the room and just made it before she heaved what was left in her stomach from the previous night’s alcoholic romp. Slamming the bathroom door shut with her foot, she blotted her mouth with toilet paper, flushed the toilet, and knelt on the cold, tile floor, wanting to lay down and die.

Why, oh why hadn’t she told Ethan he needed to use a condom? Much to her gynecologist mother’s disgust, Autumn couldn’t tolerate birth control pills and had discontinued them after several years of battling migraines. In the past she’d simply spoken up to her boyfriends about her need to use an alternate form of protection. She wasn’t embarrassed about it. Her only excuse for last night’s lapse was she was too drunk to think straight…and out of practice.

“Use protection. Every. Single. Time.” Her mother’s words – uttered at least once a week during her teenage years – rang in her mind.

How much more proof did she need that she was a complete and total failure? Not only would she go back to New York without the story she so desperately needed, she might return knocked up. She could picture her mother and sister’s reactions.

Autumn screws up again. Autumn never finishes what she starts. Autumn’s having a baby. At 24. Before she even gets her career off the ground.

Failure. Complete and total failure.

She forced herself to her feet, gripping the countertop when the room swam again. It was stark and practical – white tiles, a Formica counter, plain Jane mirror cabinet and fixtures. A man’s razor was plugged into an outlet and a can of shaving cream sat nearby. A bar of soap and tube of toothpaste near the sink. Forest green towel and washcloth. The bathroom of a man who didn’t waste time or thought on home décor. A cowboy’s bathroom.

She ran cold water in the sink and splashed her face, wiping away the tears she hadn’t realized she was crying. No, she wouldn’t let her family down or herself down – not again. What were the chances she’d gotten pregnant from just one time? More likely she’d caught some stupid disease – hopefully not a deadly one. She’d haul her ass into a doctor as soon as she was able and get checked out.

She’d grit her teeth, finish out this assignment, get her photos and get the hell back to New York. And if she was pregnant she’d deal with it. There were answers to every problem.

Grabbing the washcloth, she scrubbed at her face viciously until all traces of tears were gone, then swished some toothpaste around her mouth as best she could. As she retraced her steps to the bedroom, and began to search for her clothes, she refused to listen to the voice that told her if she was pregnant, she’d never give up the child.

* * * * *

Ethan walked into the bedroom as Autumn was pulling on a pair of panties. She swiveled around in surprise and with a small cry clamped one arm across her chest, but not before he got a good look at a part of her anatomy that had enthralled him the night before.

He stopped, cleared his throat and searched for something to say. “Good morning.”

She stared at him. “Uh…morning.” Her voice was shrill and high, and he realized she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the situation. Somehow that made him grin. He wasn’t comfortable with this situation, either – not by a long shot – but her current position, half-naked, her arm doing very little to cover the curve of her assets, was fine by him. He could watch this show all morning.

“Do you mind?” she said finally.

He leaned back against the doorjamb. “Not at all. Go ahead.”

“I’m not getting dressed while you stand there!”

She was blushing again, and it looked even better on her this time than it had the night before. He allowed himself a long look. What a body. Long legs, shapely hips dipping in to a small waist and then the swell of her breasts. He definitely approved.

“Why not? You’re my fiancée, right?”

He knew he was being a cad. After all, he was about to break the news about the joke. So why was he pushing her like this? Almost daring her to say it wasn’t true. But he was the one who was lying – she was here because she wanted to marry him. Wasn’t she?

Suddenly Ethan wanted to know that for sure. Was she really here because one look at his video hooked her for life? Her actions seemed to back up that theory. She’d been willing to sleep with him a scant few hours after she’d arrived, but then again he’d been pretty willing, too, and he had no intention of marrying her.

He waited. After a long moment, she nodded. “Right.”

“So get dressed. I want to see what I’m getting out of the bargain.”

Her color deepened, but she took a deep breath, raised her chin, dropped her arm and spun in a circle. “This is what you’re getting. Satisfied?”

There was an edge to her voice, so he shifted tactics. “I like what I see,” he said. He pushed off the door frame and crossed the room. “But I’m not satisfied by a long shot.” He bent down and captured her mouth with his, pulling her closer until those breasts that drove him wild pressed up against his bare chest. At first she resisted him. She slid her hands up between them and tried to push him away, but when he let his hand fall to the curve of her bottom and gave a gentle squeeze, she groaned and wrapped her arms around his neck.

As he maneuvered them toward the bed, Ethan remembered his resolve. Damn it, he was supposed to be sending her home, not seducing her a second time. “I…” he started, not sure at all what he was going to say. “I…need to get to work. It’s late.”

“What?” She was flushed and tousled and so beautiful he wanted to pitch her onto the bed and make love to her until neither of them could think straight.

“It’s late. This is a ranch,” he stammered. “I can’t stay here – I’ve got to go…”

“Oh,” she said, then seemed to comprehend. “Oh, right! The ranch. Sorry, I…I got distracted.”

He laughed, “Honey, we both did.” Honey? Did he just call her honey? Get a grip, Ethan – she’s leaving on the first flight!

But even as he thought it, he knew it wasn’t true. She wasn’t going anywhere until he got to know her better. It was wrong to lie to her and let her believe he would go through with this…marriage…but there was nothing wrong with getting to know a pretty girl and seeing if they had what it took to get serious about each other. He’d suggest they back things off for the time being. Take it real slow. He’d say that while the marriage notion might have brought them together it was only fair to both of them that they think of this month as a series of dates. He’d suggest they move into separate bedrooms so she didn’t feel pressured. They’d build a relationship one step at a time like normal people did. Then, if things went well, they might decide to take it to the next step. Either party could cancel at any time.

After all, he wanted to find a partner. He wanted a woman who wanted what he did; to build a successful life on the ranch that included a thriving business and a thriving family, as well. According to Rob, she wanted a country life, a strong man and lots of children. They had more in common than he did with most of the women he grew up with in Chance Creek.

He kissed her again, pulling away reluctantly. “Go on, get dressed. I’ll show you around the house and grounds and then head out.”

* * * * *

Autumn pulled on jeans, a t-shirt, and socks and swept her hair up into a sensible pony-tail. She found her tooth brush and mouthwash, and felt much better after another trip to the washroom. When she made her way to the kitchen, Ethan presented her with a plate filled with toast, sausage and fried eggs. A glance at the table told her he’d made himself an identical breakfast. Too bad she was half his weight and still suffering from that hangover. She wasn’t sure she could keep down a bite, let alone clean this plate.

“I swear this is the last time,” he said, gesturing to the meal. “My mom hated men in her kitchen – I bet you do, too. There should be enough food kicking around in the fridge and cabinets for a day or so. You just make me a list and I’ll pick up any supplies you need when I go into town tomorrow. Your domain, I swear. I won’t intrude.”

“Uh…thanks.” Since when did women mind men making breakfast for them? She loved puttering in the kitchen, but had no problem sharing the job with someone else. What kind of person was his mother – a total control freak? She glanced out the back screen door and relaxed. Probably the work he did out there consumed all his time and then some. And it sounded like he’d leave her to it and not micro-manage the way she handled the chore. She appreciated that. She’d dated a chef once – Erik Whittleton – and the one time she made herself toast in his kitchen he’d nearly blown a fuse. That had ended things between them. She loved to cook, and if Ethan wanted her to take over the kitchen while she was here, she’d be more than happy to oblige.

Ethan took a bite of sausage and followed it with a scoop of egg. “I’ll be gone most of the day. I’ll cut out early, though, and try to be back around five o’clock and we can have dinner together. How’s that sound?”

Five o’clock? What was it – about half past six in the morning right now? “What do I do all day?”

“Well, you can cook me dinner,” he said, grinning. “Anything with meat. Otherwise, look around the place and get settled. Relax.”

She bit her lip. “You said in your video you’re looking for a woman to help you run the ranch. Sitting around all day doesn’t sound that useful.” Plus it wouldn’t get her any photographs of handsome cowboys roping cattle – or whatever it is one did on a ranch in Montana.

“Hmm.” Ethan considered this. “I need to cover a lot of ground today – Jamie and I are checking the fence on the south pasture, so it’s not a great time for you to tag along. If you’re ready to help out you can always work on the kitchen garden, though. It’s in pretty sad shape. Mom used to feed us out of it most of the time. I don’t know what you can salvage this year, but anything you can do would be great. I promise I’ll take you out with me on a day’s work soon, though – let you get an idea of what we do here.”