The Cowboy Takes a Bride (8 page)

He sidestepped toward the truck. “I'm taking you back to your car. Don't you have work to do?”

“At ten. It's only seven-thirty.”

“Are you always this much of an early riser?”

“You mean am I always a pest? Could be. Sleep is overrated. I function on about five hours a night. I'm on explore mode right now. So following you around every morning trying to repay my debt is going to work right into my schedule.”

That won her a glare. The cowboy was really grand like that. She might just have to keep him riled, so she could enjoy seeing him all fierce and exasperated. And being the only girl in a family of four brothers, she could pick and pester with the best of them.

“Get in the truck.”

She crossed her arms. “Nope.”

“Sugar, you don't have but one shoe. How are you going to help me? Besides, the one shoe you have is a flip-flop. You can't work out here in girl shoes.”

She laughed. “I'll use those,” she waved toward the rubber boots that were turned upside down and stuck between the cab and the bed of his truck.

“Those will swallow you.”

“I'm not going anywhere. Give me the boots.”

He looked mad enough to eat nails. “This isn't working, you know. I am not going to give in and let you have my barn.”

She held out a hand. “Boot, please. I have to help my
hero.”

“Would you stop that?”

“Nope. I owe you, and I always pay my debts, so let me help.”

He scowled and reached for the boots. Oh yeah, she'd won. Still she smiled innocently.

He dropped his chin to his chest and she could feel his pain. She loved it.

L
ooking down at his boots, Ross drew in a deep breath and then blew it out slowly. He wanted to believe that thinking Sugar was going to land in the creek had him all shook up—and it
had
scared him, but holding her in his arms was what still had him rattled.

She had him at a disadvantage, turning on that smile and those dimples, along with the funny wit he'd noticed that first day.

“Okay, I'm ready,” she said.

She'd pulled on his seven-sizes-too-big-for-her boots and stood smiling at him. She was having entirely too much fun at his expense. “If you say so,” he growled, turning to the truck. He could hear her chuckling behind him, and despite himself, he smiled. He tugged on his gloves and strapped on his tool belt, all the while trying to ignore that Sugar had walked up beside him and was peering into the bed of his truck.

“That looks like a lot of wire. How many trees are you planning to cage?”

He smiled at her word choice. “A few,” he said, as he grabbed the roll of galvanized fence wire. “Watch your step in those boots,” he cautioned, then headed toward a tree. She followed at a slower pace.

He wanted to tell himself he wasn't enjoying her company, but that would be a lie. Fact was, this was what he prayed for. Not Sugar necessarily, but a wife who would enjoy getting out on the ranch and working beside him. Of course, he knew Sugar was just trying to soften him up so she could get what she wanted. And while that put a crimp in his contentment, the truth was he
had
softened up a little. Not that he would tell her. He wouldn't want to give her false hope. He wasn't changing his mind.

He dropped the wire and unrolled a section before cutting it the right length to go around the tree trunk. He pulled it up, then moved to the tree, where he'd already installed stakes the day before. He didn't need any help, and could only guess the conspiring old fellas' motives for convincing Sugar that she should come to his rescue. Still, as he wrapped the wire around the tree, he decided to humor her. “Can you hold the two ends together for me?” he asked.

“Sure thing,” she said, moving close.

He immediately realized that humoring her wasn't such a good idea, after all. Man, but the woman smelled great. “So tell me why you want to be an actress,” he blurted out, needing something to remind him of why letting her get too close wasn't a smart thing to do. “It's a hard life.” He grabbed wire ties from his belt, and needle-nose pliers, and promised himself that no matter what this morning held, he was going to stick to his guns. He had to keep his head straight where Sugar Rae Lenox was concerned.

 

Sugar tried to concentrate on Ross's question, but the truth was, it was difficult. There was no denying that she was attracted to him. She couldn't help it. But she sucked in a deep breath and vowed to keep her eyes on her objective: making friends with him, and praying that God would change Ross's mind for her. Because truly, that was where her hope lay. All she could do was be herself.

Of course, she was used to his question. She'd been asked it so many times that she sometimes got a little miffed by it. But not today.

“People look at me like I'm crazy to want something so much. Something that is such a long shot. But I feel it, here.” She put her hand on her heart, then touched her temple. “And here. It's not like it's just a whim. I went into it knowing the odds were against me. Knowing that the average actor makes below minimum wage and has to have a second job to actually pay the rent…. But still, I had to do it.”

The corners of his mouth tilted up, but he didn't say anything, just nodded. Almost as if he got it, which made her plunge in, full speed ahead, trying to help him understand. In understanding, there was hope.

“I'm listening. Go on,” he said.

“I can't really explain it. My parents…” She took a breath. “You know I said I'd tell you the story behind my name? Well, if you have the time, this is a good place to tell you.”

“I have all the time in the world and I'm really interested. But I still want to hear the rest of the story on what drives you to be an actress.”

“Oh, you will. In a way it's all intertwined.”

He paused to smile at her. “Hit me with your best shot. I'm all ears.”

Normally, she told the short version of her story. But since he already knew some of it, she decided to be open. And of course, this was all about building a friendship. That meant opening up and sharing. What could it hurt?

“See, I was born premature and wasn't given much of a chance of surviving. Sugar Ray was at his prime during that time, and the entire world was rooting for the lightweight champ…so because of the similarities in our last names, my parents started calling me Sugar, their little fighter. I was originally supposed to be Amanda Marie Lenox. Do I look like an Amanda Marie?”

He laughed and shook his head. “You look like Sugar Rae.”

“That's right, I do,” she declared. “Nothing against the names Amanda or Marie, I'm just Sugar Rae. Maybe I'm partial to my name because so many people were chanting it at me before I even weighed three pounds. But my mom says everyone in the hospital knew Sugar Rae was the tiny baby on the fourth floor fighting for her life. And they were all rooting and praying for me. I still have a couple of banners packed away back home that the nursing staff made, saying, ‘Come on, Sugar Rae, you can do it!' My parents love to tell that story and how in addition to the nurses chanting it to me, people passing by the preemie wing could be heard saying it. And that was where it began…this quest. What started as an affirmation for me—wanting to fight like they told me—became a motto as I grew up. I started out a fighter for surviving. I've been surviving ever since. I had several complications that lingered and took years to correct, through countless operations as I grew older. Which meant that I spent a lot of time recuperating, sick at home, watching television.”

Through with binding the wire, Ross gave her his full attention. “I think I get it. They helped you,” he said, his voice thoughtful.

He understood. Sugar's throat tightened, but she struggled not to cry. She still didn't want his pity. “Yep,” she said, copying Stanley. “Those terrific stars took a bored little girl to wonderful worlds of make-believe. I can't even remember the first time I said, ‘I'm going to be a star.' It was just there, in my head and heart, as if it was supposed to be. My parents and my four brothers were all supportive when I was small. I didn't know that they thought the dream would eventually go away and I would decide what I really wanted to do with my life. But when I joined the drama club in high school and the choir, and then told my parents that I wanted to major in theater in college, they started to balk.”

She paused and Ross looked at her encouragingly. “I have the most wonderful family in the world, don't get me wrong, but I'm the baby girl, the little sis who's been through so much. They just didn't want to see me go into something with such a high rate of failure. They were, and are still, trying to protect me.”

“I can understand that,” Ross said, making no move to cut wire for another tree. Instead, he crossed his arms and asked, “So they still don't support you?”

It surprised her that it still hurt. She looked away, across the flooded pasture. “They pretend. But deep down they don't get it, and would rather I just come home.” She met his attentive gaze. “They raised me to believe I could do anything if I set my mind to it…but without meaning to, they put those dreams inside a nice, neat box. I was supposed to grow up and pick my dreams out of that safe box.”

Ross lifted a dark brow. “But you don't take the safe route to anything. You're Sugar Rae.”

She smiled, feeling lighter at heart. “I try not to. But that's not really how I think. I just know that this is what I'm supposed to do. God has a plan for me, I know it. I just can't seem to get there.” She didn't go into how she thought God was toying with her sometimes. How it felt as if He were holding a carrot out and watching her suffer as she tried to reach it. That sounded too negative, and she didn't want to give in to that feeling. “Failure isn't an option to me. I believe I'm meant to be an actress. And I know some people look at that as such a frivolous career. But, if God puts a song in your heart, I believe you should sing that song. This song has been in my heart from the beginning—how do I just stop singing? How do I walk away from something that is a part of me?”

She hadn't meant to take the conversation to such a deep level. Truth was, she hadn't ever shared that much of herself with anyone before, and it shook her up just a bit. But she couldn't seem to stop the flow. “I'm failing. I don't really understand how it's happening, but I am. Mule Hollow is my last shot. I was so close to making it many, many times, but something always fell through. Now even my agent is starting to think maybe he made a mistake and I'm not as special as he thought.

“There aren't many towns that have an award-winning columnist writing weekly columns about it. Because of Molly, and the publicity I thought I might be able to stir up if I got her on my side, I feel like this is where my dream can finally come true. I mean, what are the chances that my best friend happens to move back here and need my help at just the time that I've hit rock bottom? Or that when Haley called me for the job, I just happened to be drowning my sorrows in a tub of ice cream while watching Paul Newman's
Biography
talking about him being discovered while performing at summer stock?” Ross didn't smile, just nodded his head.

“Providence,” Sugar declared. “That's what it is. And that's why I'm here. I just need to make a splash, get some great publicity, and I can make it happen.”

“What if you do fail?”

Her heart sank at the question. This was the same old song and dance. But she wasn't letting fear inside her head again. “I told you, it's not an option.”

Lay it down
. The phrase echoed in her thoughts and she gritted her teeth against it. Meanwhile, Ross watched her, as if weighing his words and choosing carefully what he was going to say. She knew the look and prepared herself for the usual assurance that failure wasn't just an option, but a probability. Curtis, her eldest brother, was a lawyer, and he'd been the one to use that terminology. She didn't like it, even though he'd said it in kindness and frustration. In love.

But love was letting someone go, too, wasn't it? And they'd done that in the end, because she'd given them no choice.

“Success is a relative thing,” Ross said. “One man's success is another man's failure. No one can really judge someone else's dreams. I believe you have to follow your own path…no matter what. It took me a while to realize that. I know a few actors and some great musicians who make a nice, stable living for themselves in Branson. They've managed to carve out successful careers and are famous in their own right as main attractions there. There are some that would think they've settled for less, that they failed because they didn't make it in Hollywood or Nashville. What do you think about that?”

“If that's their dream, then that's wonderful. I don't see anything wrong with it. But that's not my dream. That's not what I see—I see more. I know that sounds arrogant, maybe foolish.”

She was shaken that she'd revealed so much. Exposed so much of herself to Ross, practically a stranger.

“Who is to say your dream is foolish? Who is to say you won't make it? I've only known you for a short while, and frankly, I can't figure out why those powers that be in Hollywood haven't grabbed you up and put you in the movies. You're beautiful, you have an electric energy about you that I can't imagine them not connecting with. And you have the drive of twenty people.”

Sugar's heart was thundering in her chest like a runaway herd of longhorns. “Wow. Thanks,” she told him.

The left side of his mouth quirked. “Thought you had me all figured out, didn't you?”

She didn't think she would ever figure him out. “Actually, I was confused about you from the beginning,” she said, making him chuckle. But it was true. She didn't understand him. But she suddenly knew that she would like to. This was dangerous stuff for a girl with no intentions of sticking around, no interest in forming ties to a place.

“C'mon. I had better get you back to your car so you can go to your real job.”

He took her elbow and guided her toward the truck. The feel of his hand, sure and strong against her skin, made her keenly aware of him beside her. She almost let herself wish he would walk beside her every day….

It was not a feeling she'd ever felt before. It was scary and she didn't need it.

She needed his barn. And only his barn.