The Cornerstone (46 page)

He rolled his eyes. “Fine, but I need some sustenance,” he said. He reached into his backpack, retrieving a spoon, a bag of hard-boiled eggs, and a jar of spicy pickle-and-onion relish.

“Riley,” I said, my hand pressed to my neck. “Don’t.”

Then he unzipped the bag, and that thick, sulfuric scent swept across the table. The relish was next. “What?” he asked, his eyes glittering with the joy of behaving badly.

“
Riley
,” I repeated.

“Dude,” Matt groaned. “Don’t be such a douche nozzle.”

Riley selected an egg, scooped relish over it while smirking like the fucking sociopath he was, and popped the entire thing in his mouth. We sat there, staring, as he demolished six eggs and half the jar of relish.

“Motherfuck,” Sam murmured. “Okay, Shan, I’m sending you the punch list report, and now we need to open some windows or maybe burn the building down.”

“You win, RISD,” I said, my hand pressed to my mouth. “You win. I’m never bringing yogurt up here again, and I don’t think I’ll be challenging you to a war of wills either. Now put this shit away, zip your goddamn pants, and get to work.”

He pumped his fists in the air, a triumphant smile on his face. “It’s because I’m the hero Gotham deserves.”

*

Will:
I had an idea

Shannon:
First time for everything

Will:
You’re getting spanked tonight

Shannon:
Was that your idea?

Will:
No

Shannon:
We’re long past the stage where it’s acceptable to be coy. Spit it out or shut up.

Will:
You want to see a movie tonight? Maybe get dinner?

Shannon:
Are you asking me on a date?

Will:
Yeah, I think so

Shannon:
Does that mean you’re tired of Netflix and my sweatpants?

Will:
No. I’m a big supporter of those things. I’d also like to take you out tonight.

Shannon:
Ok. I’d like that too.

*

Shannon:
How’d it go with Nick

Will:
Meh.

Shannon:
Words, please. No grunts.

Will:
He slapped some electrodes on my arm and fired up the shock therapy.

Will:
It was like SERE school.

Shannon:
Lovely. Any outcome?

Will:
He wants me to see someone else. I have another appointment tomorrow

Shannon:
I’m fine with that. Nick treats children. You, commando, were probably born half-man.

Shannon:
Have you apologized to Judy for that? It mustn’t have been easy, birthing a dude.

Will:
Are you amusing yourself right now?

Shannon:
Actually, yes.

*

Shannon:
Lauren just texted me about the holidays. She and Matt aren’t going to Mexico?

Shannon:
And – she says hi. She’d like you to call her.

Will:
Judy and the Commodore are on safari. Kenya, Botswana, Rwanda, Zambia.

Shannon:
Oh right.

Shannon:
How’s that going? Have you heard from them?

Will:
They’re loving the shit out of it.

Will:
She made some suggestive Jane and Tarzan comments. I got the fuck out of that conversation real fast.

Shannon:
So then…the holidays

Will:
Yeah, you’re stuck with me

*

Will:
You have a list of your brothers’ suit measurements. I found it when I was looking for paper clips in the kitchen

Shannon:
Correct and paper clips are in the cabinet in the den

Will:
Already found them but WHY do you have their suit measurements?

Shannon:
It goes back to the great dispute over dry-cleaned trousers

Will:
omfg. These guys

Will:
There’s even a note about which side they dress, for fuck’s sake

Will:
That’s the line. Right there. That’s threshold between being involved and being fucking insane

Shannon:
You might feel differently if I ordered you some suits.

Will:
No

Shannon:
Actually, I can call my gal at Neiman Marcus and have her pull some for you to try.

Will:
No

Shannon:
Why not? I like you all fancy pants. I love you all always but I’m very fond of you in a suit.

Shannon:
You were hot as fuck at Gus and Aviva’s wedding, and Lauren’s too. You might recall getting laid after both of those suit-wearing events

Will:
There are a lot of things I’ll roll with. I’ll let you pick which movie we’re seeing. I’ll make you come first. I’ll let you leave the house in those Come Fuck Me heels and sexy skirts because I know everyone else can look but only I touch. I’ll rub your belly when you have cramps.

Will:
I’ll be your protection detail when you go out drinking with the girls and get rowdy. I’ll lick any part of you anytime you want. I’ll keep my mouth shut when you work insane hours and come home half-asleep and growling. I’ll let you dress me in a motherfucking tutu and take me to ballet class.

Will:
But you know what I’m not doing?

Will:
I’m not letting you give me the Black Widow treatment. You don’t have to project manage me, peanut.

Shannon:
What if I want to? Have you considered that?

Shannon:
Taking care of people is how I show my love.

Will:
I don’t think you understand how much of that you do before you even start on the dry-cleaning.

Will:
And I’m going to buy my own fucking pants because I’m the one who takes care of you

Will:
And before you tell me you don’t need anyone taking care of you – I love you. Deal with it.

Shannon:
Shut up.

Shannon:
I love you too.

Shannon:
Can I come with you when you’re buying your own fucking pants?

Will:
Maybe

Shannon:
I’d like to get you alone in a dressing room

Will:
I’m listening.

*

Shannon:
Something weird is going on

Will:
Not your horoscope again

Shannon:
Do not mock me.

Will:
Not mocking. Just baffled that a woman with a law degree relies on mystical prophecies for daily guidance.

Will:
What’s the weirdness?

Shannon:
I don’t know exactly. There’s something going on and I can’t quite figure it out.

Shannon:
Erin is flying in tomorrow.

Will:
That’s unusual?

Shannon:
It’s always last minute with her, too, like she’s the queen of fucking England

Shannon:
She hasn’t spent Christmas with us since she was in high school. She was supposed to visit for Thanksgiving but something happened with her flight.

Will:
Progress?

Will:
Don’t forget – even the Berlin Wall came down eventually

Shannon:
You don’t know my sister. She’s stalwart

Will:
Yeah. Wonder where she gets that.

Shannon:
If you asked me to go to Mexico, I might say yes this time

Will:
Too soon.

Shannon:
…?

Will:
It’s too soon to joke about that.

Shannon:
Ohhhh. Ok then.

SHANNON

S
omething was unusual
at the firehouse.

“Sam’s wearing a tuxedo,” I murmured. “A red tuxedo. Where did he get a red tuxedo?”

“Yeah, that’s not making it easier for me to like that guy,” Will said.

Miles of twinkling lights were strung across the old fire engine bay, a band was performing on a raised platform, and servers were circulating with champagne. It seemed over the top for our standard Christmas Eve gathering, and there were far more people than I expected.