The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (288 page)

In Plain and Simple English

Queen Katharine

Sir Nicholas Vaux

Sir Henry Guildford

Griffith

King Henry VIII of England

Patience

Sir William Sands

Cardinal Wolsey

Sir Thomas Lovell

Stephen Gardiner

Thomas Cromwell

Brandon

Doctor Butts

Cardinal Campeius

Anne Boleyn

Lord Abergavenny

Sir Anthony Denny

Lord Capuchius

Marquess Dorset

Marquis Dorset

Princess Elizabeth

Lord Chancellor

Lord Chamberlain

Cranmer

I come no more to make you laugh: things now,

That bear a weighty and a serious brow,

Sad, high, and working, full of state and woe,

Such noble scenes as draw the eye to flow,

We now present. Those that can pity, here

May, if they think it well, let fall a tear;

The subject will deserve it. Such as give

Their money out of hope they may believe,

May here find truth too. Those that come to see

Only a show or two, and so agree

The play may pass, if they be still and willing,

I'll undertake may see away their shilling

Richly in two short hours. Only they

That come to hear a merry bawdy play,

A noise of targets, or to see a fellow

In a long motley coat guarded with yellow,

Will be deceived; for, gentle hearers, know,

To rank our chosen truth with such a show

As fool and fight is, beside forfeiting

Our own brains, and the opinion that we bring,

To make that only true we now intend,

Will leave us never an understanding friend.

Therefore, for goodness' sake, and as you are known

The first and happiest hearers of the town,

Be sad, as we would make ye: think ye see

The very persons of our noble story

As they were living; think you see them great,

And follow'd with the general throng and sweat

Of thousand friends; then in a moment, see

How soon this mightiness meets misery:

And, if you can be merry then, I'll say

A man may weep upon his wedding-day.

I'm no longer here to make you laugh; now

we're dealing with heavy serious matters,

serious, lofty and moving, full of dignity and sorrow;

we will now present noble scenes which will

provoke your tears. Those who can pity may

now (if they think it right) shed a tear,

the subject will deserve it. Those who put

their money down to see something believable

may find truth here too. Those who just come

for the spectacle, that's what makes them

say a play is good, if they keep still with an open mind,

I promise that they will get their shillingsworth

in two quickly passing hours. Only the ones

who have come to hear a jolly smutty play,

hear clashing shields, or to see a fellow

in a yellow trimmed clown costume,

will be disappointed: for, gentle listeners,

to show the truth we want through

comedy and fight scenes, besides spoiling

the work of our brains and

our intention to show nothing but the truth,

would make our audience abandon us.

Therefore, for goodness sake, as you are renowned

as the most important and tolerant audience in the town,

 be serious, as we want you to be. Imagine you see

the characters of our noble story

as if they were alive: imagine you see them in their greatness,

followed by great crowds, the toil

of a thousand friends; then, in the blink of an eye, see

how quickly greatness can become miserable:

and if you can be jolly then, I will say

a man can weep on his wedding day.

Enter NORFOLK at one door; at the other, BUCKINGHAM and ABERGAVENNY

BUCKINGHAM

Good morrow, and well met. How have ye done

Since last we saw in France?

Good day, and welcome. How have you been

since we last met in France?

NORFOLK

I thank your grace,

Healthful; and ever since a fresh admirer

Of what I saw there.

Very well, thank you

your Grace; and I have not lost my admiration

for what I saw there.

BUCKINGHAM

An untimely ague

Stay'd me a prisoner in my chamber when

Those suns of glory, those two lights of men,

Met in the vale of Andren.

An inconvenient fever

kept me a prisoner in my room when

those two glorious suns, those examples to mankind,

met in the Vale of Andren.

NORFOLK

'Twixt Guynes and Arde:

I was then present, saw them salute on horseback;

Beheld them, when they lighted, how they clung

In their embracement, as they grew together;

Which had they, what four throned ones could have weigh'd

Such a compounded one?

Between Guynes and Arde:

I was there at the time, and saw them greet each other on horseback;

I saw how when they dismounted they hugged

each other, as if they were a single being;

if they were, what four Kings could have matched

one such combination?

BUCKINGHAM

All the whole time

I was my chamber's prisoner.

I was confined to my room

the whole time.

NORFOLK

Then you lost

The view of earthly glory: men might say,

Till this time pomp was single, but now married

To one above itself. Each following day

Became the next day's master, till the last

Made former wonders its. To-day the French,

All clinquant, all in gold, like heathen gods,

Shone down the English; and, to-morrow, they

Made Britain India: every man that stood

Show'd like a mine. Their dwarfish pages were

As cherubins, all guilt: the madams too,

Not used to toil, did almost sweat to bear

The pride upon them, that their very labour

Was to them as a painting: now this masque

Was cried incomparable; and the ensuing night

Made it a fool and beggar. The two kings,

Equal in lustre, were now best, now worst,

As presence did present them; him in eye,

Still him in praise: and, being present both

'Twas said they saw but one; and no discerner

Durst wag his tongue in censure. When these suns--

For so they phrase 'em--by their heralds challenged

The noble spirits to arms, they did perform

Beyond thought's compass; that former fabulous story,

Being now seen possible enough, got credit,

That Bevis was believed.

Then you missed

a sight of glory on earth: men might say

that grandeur was single up to now, before it married

one even greater. Every successive day

showed greater pageantry than the rest, until the last one

combined everything that had gone before. One day the French,

all glittering with gold, outshone the English

like heathen gods; and the next day

the English would display the riches of India; every man

look like a goldmine. Their little pages looked

like cherubim, all gilded: the ladies too,

unused to labour, were almost sweating to carry

the riches upon them, so that their work

brought colour to their cheeks. So this show

would be called unbeatable; and the next night

it looks like the work of a foolish beggar. The two kings,

equal in glory, were now the best, then the worst,

depending whose turn it was: with them