The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (247 page)

The lord mayor craves aid of your honour from the Tower

to defend the city from the rebels.

No, my lord, and it's not likely he will be; for they

have won the bridge, and killed everyone who stood against them.

The Lord Mayor begs your honour to send help from the Tower

to defend the city against the rebels.

SCALES.

Such aid as I can spare you shall command,

But I am troubled here with them myself;

The rebels have assay'd to win the Tower.

But get you to Smithfield and gather head,

And thither I will send you Matthew Goffe.

Fight for your king, your country, and your lives;

And so, farewell, for I must hence again.

I'll send you what help I can spare,

but they are attacking me here also;

the rebels have tried to win the Tower.

But go to Smithfield and gather forces,

and I will send Matthew Goffe to you there.

Fight for your king, your country, and your lives;

and so, farewell, for I must go back there.

[Exeunt.]

[Enter JACK CADE and the rest, and strikes his staff on

London-stone.]

CADE.

Now is Mortimer lord of this city. And here, sitting upon

London-stone, I charge and command that, of the city's cost, the

conduit run nothing but claret wine this first year of our reign.

And now henceforward it shall be treason for any that calls me

other

than Lord Mortimer.

Now Mortimer is lord of this city. And here, sitting on

the London Stone, I give my orders that at the city's expense,

this conduit shall be filled with nothing but claret wine for the first year of my reign.

And from now on it will be treason for anyone to call me anything else

except Lord Mortimer.

[Enter a Soldier, running.]

SOLDIER.

Jack Cade! Jack Cade!

Jack Cade! Jack Cade!

CADE.

Knock him down there.

Knock that man down.

[They kill him.]

SMITH.

If this fellow be wise, he'll never call ye Jack

Cade more;  I think he hath a very fair warning.

Is this fellow has any sense, he'll never call you Jack

Cade again; I think he's had a very fair warning.

DICK.

My lord, there's an army gathered together in Smithfield.

My Lord, an army has gathered together in Smithfield.

CADE.

Come then, let's go fight with them. But first, go and set

London bridge on fire; and, if you can, burn down the Tower too.

Come, let's away.

Come on then, let's go and fight with them. But first, go and set

London Bridge on fire; and, if you can, burn down the Tower as well.

Come, let's go.

[Exeunt.]

[Alarums. MATTHEW GOFFE is slain, and all the rest. Then enter

JACK CADE, with his company.]

CADE.

So, sirs.--Now go some and pull down the Savoy; others

to the inns of court; down with them all.

That's that, sirs. Now some of you go and pull down the Savoy; others

go to the Inns of Court; pull them all down.

DICK.

I have a suit unto your lordship.

I have something to ask your lordship.

CADE.

Be it a lordship, thou shalt have it for that word.

If you want a lordship, you'll have it for saying that word.

DICK.

Only that the laws of England may come out of

your mouth.

Only that I want the laws of England to be

spoken by your mouth.

HOLLAND.

[Aside.] Mass, 't will be sore law, then; for he

was thrust in the mouth with a spear, and 't is not whole yet.

I swear, it will be a sore law, then; for he

got a spear in the mouth, and it hasn't healed yet.

SMITH.

[Aside.] Nay, John, it will be stinking law, for his

breath stinks with eating toasted cheese.

No, John, it will be a stinking law, for his

breath stinks from eating toasted cheese.

CADE.

I have thought upon it, it shall be so. Away, burn

all the records of the realm. My mouth shall be the parliament

of England.

I thought about it, and that's how it will be. Go and

burn all the records of the country. My mouth shall be the Parliament

of England.

HOLLAND.

[Aside.] Then we are like to have biting statutes,

unless his teeth be pulled out.

Then we shall have some biting laws,

unless his teeth are pulled out.

CADE.

And henceforward all things shall be in common.

And from now on all things shall be shared.

[Enter a Messenger.]

MESSENGER.

My lord, a prize, a prize! here's the Lord

Say, which sold the towns in France; he that made us pay

one and twenty fifteens, and one shilling to the pound, the

last subsidy.

My Lord, a prize, a prize! Here's the Lord

Say, who sold the towns in France; the one who made us pay

one hundred and twenty percent, and a shilling in the pound,

for the last taxes.

[Enter GEOGE BEVIS, with the LORD SAY.]

CADE.

Well, he shall be beheaded for it ten times.--Ah, thou say,

thou serge, nay, thou buckram lord! now art thou within point-

blank of our jurisdiction regal. What canst thou answer to my

majesty for giving up of Normandy unto Mounsieur Basimecu, the

dauphin of France? Be it known unto thee by these presence, even

the presence of Lord Mortimer, that I am the besom that must

sweep the court clean of such filth as thou art. Thou hast most

traitorously corrupted the youth of the realm in erecting a

grammar school; and whereas, before, our forefathers had no other

books but the score and the tally, thou hast caused printing to

be used, and, contrary to the king, his crown, and dignity, thou

hast built a paper-mill. It will be proved to thy face that thou

hast men about thee that usually talk of a noun and a verb, and

such abominable words as no Christian ear can endure to hear.

Thou hast appointed justices of peace, to call poor men before

them about matters they were not able to answer. Moreover, thou

hast put them in prison, and because they could not read, thou

hast hanged them; when, indeed, only for that cause they have

been most worthy to live. Thou dost ride in a foot-cloth, dost

thou not?

Well, he shall be beheaded for ten times. Ah, you say,

you serge, you buckram lord! Now you're within

range of my royal justice. What excuse can you make to

my Majesty for giving up Normandy to Monsieur Basimecu, the

French dauphin? Let it be known to you that this person

here, Lord Mortimer himself, is the broom that must

clean filth like you out of the court. You have been most

treacherous in corrupting the youth of the country by building a

grammar school; and whereas before our forefathers had no

books apart from their accounts, you have encouraged printing,

and, what is damaging to the King, his crown and his dignity, you

have built a paper mill. It shall be proved to your face that you

have people around you who usually talk about grammar, using

such terrible words that no Christian ear can tolerate.

You have appointed justices of the peace, to some poor man

before them to answer for their debts. Furthermore, you

have put them in prison, and because they could not read, you

have hanged them; when, in fact, that was the reason my most deserved

to live. You ride a decorated horse, don't you?

SAY.

What of that?

What about it?

CADE.

Marry, thou oughtest not to let thy horse wear a cloak

when honester men than thou go in their hose and doublets.

Well, you shouldn't let your horse wear a cloak

when more honest men than you go about in their shirt and stockings.

DICK.

And work in their shirt too; as myself, for example, that

am a butcher.

And work in their shirts too; for example myself, who

is a butcher.

SAY.

You men of Kent,--

You men of Kent–

DICK.

What say you of Kent?

What are you saying about Kent?

SAY.

Nothing but this; 't is 'bona terra, mala gens.'

Only this, that it's a good country, with horrible people.

CADE.

Away with him, away with him! he speaks Latin.

Take  him away, take him away! He's talking Latin.

SAY.

Hear me but speak, and bear me where you will.

Kent,  in the Commentaries Caesar writ,

Is term'd the civil'st place of all this isle.

Sweet is the country, because full of riches;

The people liberal, valiant, active, wealthy;