The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (20 page)

so that when you are told that they are preparing

you will get the news that they have arrived.

KING JOHN.

O, where hath our intelligence been drunk?

Where hath it slept? Where is my mother's care,

That such an army could be drawn in France,

And she not hear of it?

Oh, where have our spies been drunk?

Where did they sleep? How careless has my mother been,

that such an army could be raised in France,

and her not hear of it?

MESSENGER.

My liege, her ear

Is stopp'd with dust: the first of April died

Your noble mother; and as I hear, my lord,

The Lady Constance in a frenzy died

Three days before; but this from rumour's tongue

I idly heard-if true or false I know not.

My lord, her ears

are blocked with dust: your noble mother died

on the first of April; and I have heard, my lord,

the Lady Constance died in a fit

three days before; but I heard this from

idle gossip–I don't know if it's true or false.

KING JOHN.

Withhold thy speed, dreadful occasion!

O, make a league with me, till I have pleas'd

My discontented peers! What! mother dead!

How wildly then walks my estate in France!

Under whose conduct came those pow'rs of France

That thou for truth giv'st out are landed here?

Disaster, don't rush on so quickly!

Make peace with me, until I have pacified

my unhappy peers! What! Mother dead!

How unruly then my lands in France are!

Who is leading those French forces

that you tell me have landed here?

MESSENGER.

Under the Dauphin.

They are led by the Dauphin.

KING JOHN.

Thou hast made me giddy

With these ill tidings.

Enter the BASTARD and PETER OF POMFRET

Now! What says the world

To your proceedings? Do not seek to stuff

My head with more ill news, for it is full.

You have made me dizzy

with all this bad news.

[Enter the Bastard and Peter of Pomfret]

Now! What news do you have

of your business? Don't try and put

more bad news in my head, because it's full.

BASTARD.

But if you be afear'd to hear the worst,

Then let the worst, unheard, fall on your head.

But if you're afraid to hear the worst,

then let the worst, unheard, fall on your head.

KING JOHN.

Bear with me, cousin, for I was amaz'd

Under the tide; but now I breathe again

Aloft the flood, and can give audience

To any tongue, speak it of what it will.

Bear with me cousin, I was overwhelmed

by the tide of bad news; but now I can breathe again

above the flood, and can hear

what anyone has to say, whatever it is.

BASTARD.

How I have sped among the clergymen

The sums I have collected shall express.

But as I travell'd hither through the land,

I find the people strangely fantasied;

Possess'd with rumours, full of idle dreams.

Not knowing what they fear, but full of fear;

And here's a prophet that I brought with me

From forth the streets of Pomfret, whom I found

With many hundreds treading on his heels;

To whom he sung, in rude harsh-sounding rhymes,

That, ere the next Ascension-day at noon,

Your Highness should deliver up your crown.

The business I have done amongst the clergymen

will be shown by the sums I have collected.

But as I travelled around the country,

I find that the people are in a strange mood;

they are full of rumours and idle dreams,

they don't know what they're afraid of, but they are very afraid;

and here's a prophet that I brought with me

from out of the streets of Pomfret, whom I found

with many hundreds following him;

and he was singing to them, in coarse vulgar rhymes,

that before noon on the next Ascension Day

your Highness would give up his crown.

KING JOHN.

Thou idle dreamer, wherefore didst thou so?

You idle dreamer, why were you doing that?

PETER.

Foreknowing that the truth will fall out so.

Because I know that that is what will happen.

KING JOHN.

Hubert, away with him; imprison him;

And on that day at noon whereon he says

I shall yield up my crown let him be hang'd.

Deliver him to safety; and return,

For I must use thee.

Exit HUBERT with PETER

O my gentle cousin,

Hear'st thou the news abroad, who are arriv'd?

Hubert, take him away; put him in prison;

and at noon on that day on which he says

I shall give up my crown let him be hanged.

Put him in prison; then come back,

for I need you.

Oh my gentle cousin,

have you heard the latest news about who has come?

BASTARD.

The French, my lord; men's mouths are full of it;

Besides, I met Lord Bigot and Lord Salisbury,

With eyes as red as new-enkindled fire,

And others more, going to seek the grave

Of Arthur, whom they say is kill'd to-night

On your suggestion.

The French, my lord; everyone is talking about it;

besides, I met Lord Bigot and Lord Salisbury,

with their eyes as red as a newly lit fire,

and others besides, going to look for the grave

of Arthur, whom they say was killed tonight

on your orders.

KING JOHN.

Gentle kinsman, go

And thrust thyself into their companies.

I have a way to win their loves again;

Bring them before me.

Sweet kinsman, go

and join their company.

I have a way to win back their love;

bring them to me.

BASTARD.

I will seek them out.

I will go and find them.

KING JOHN.

Nay, but make haste; the better foot before.

O, let me have no subject enemies

When adverse foreigners affright my towns

With dreadful pomp of stout invasion!

Be Mercury, set feathers to thy heels,

And fly like thought from them to me again.

No, but hurry; put your best foot forward.

Oh, don't let me have any native enemies

while opposing foreigners frighten my towns

with dreadful displays of harsh invasion!

Be like Mercury, have winged feet,

and go from them back to me as quickly as thought.

BASTARD.

The spirit of the time shall teach me speed.

The spirit of the time shall show me how to be quick.

KING JOHN.

Spoke like a sprightful noble gentleman.

Said like a spirited noble gentleman.

Exit BASTARD

Go after him; for he perhaps shall need

Some messenger betwixt me and the peers;

And be thou he.

Follow him; he may need

some messenger between me and the peers;

let that be you.

MESSENGER.

With all my heart, my liege.

With all my heart, my lord.

Exit

KING JOHN.

My mother dead!

My mother dead!

 Re-enter HUBERT

HUBERT.

My lord, they say five moons were seen to-night;

Four fixed, and the fifth did whirl about

The other four in wondrous motion.

My Lord, they say that five moons were seen tonight;

four were still, and the fifth span around

the other four in an astonishing way.

KING JOHN.

Five moons!

Five moons!

HUBERT.

Old men and beldams in the streets

Do prophesy upon it dangerously;

Young Arthur's death is common in their mouths;

And when they talk of him, they shake their heads,

And whisper one another in the ear;

And he that speaks doth gripe the hearer's wrist,

Whilst he that hears makes fearful action

With wrinkled brows, with nods, with rolling eyes.

I saw a smith stand with his hammer, thus,

The whilst his iron did on the anvil cool,

With open mouth swallowing a tailor's news;

Who, with his shears and measure in his hand,

Standing on slippers, which his nimble haste

Had falsely thrust upon contrary feet,

Told of a many thousand warlike French

That were embattailed and rank'd in Kent.

Another lean unwash'd artificer

Cuts off his tale, and talks of Arthur's death.

Old men and witches in the streets

prophesy danger from it;

they are all talking about the death of young Arthur;

and when they talk of him, they shake their heads,

and whisper to each other;

and the one who's talking grabs the wrist of his listener,

and the listener works his face

with frowns, nods, rolling eyes.

I saw a smith standing like this with his hammer,

whilst his iron cooled on the anvil,

open mouthed while he listened to the news of a tailor;

he stood with his shears and tape measure in his hand,

wearing slippers which in his hurry he had

wrongly put on the opposite feet,

telling a tale of many thousands of warlike French

who were lined up and ready for battle in Kent.

Another skinny unwashed workman

interrupted him and spoke about Arthur's death.

KING JOHN.

Why seek'st thou to possess me with these fears?

Why urgest thou so oft young Arthur's death?

Thy hand hath murd'red him. I had a mighty cause

To wish him dead, but thou hadst none to kill him.

Why are you trying to worry me like this?

Why do you speak so often about the death of young Arthur?

It was you who murdered him. I had a great reason

for wanting him dead, but you had no reason to kill him.

HUBERT.

No had, my lord! Why, did you not provoke me?

I had no reason, my lord! Why, did you not order me?

KING JOHN.

It is the curse of kings to be attended

By slaves that take their humours for a warrant

To break within the bloody house of life,

And on the winking of authority