The Coming of the Unicorn (4 page)

So, Jack went down to the dining hall and he had a good time to himself. He had plenty to eat, plenty to drink. He had a nice clean-up, a right bath and a nice change o’ clothes. He really enjoyed himself. And the footman showed him to a lovely bed. He lay down on this beautiful silken bed and relaxed. But he hadn’t been in bed for more than an hour when he heard a knock on the door.

Jack got up, “Who’s there?” he said.

“Oh, it’s me the queen. I want to talk to you,” she said very sternly.

Jack opened the door, came out, bowed to Her Majesty. “Your Majesty, what can I do for you?”

“It’s no what you can do for me,” she said, “it’s what
I’m
going to do for
you
!”

“Your Majesty,” he said, “I have everything I need.”

“Oh,” she said, “you’ve everything you need, have you? Well, you’re going to get more than you need,” and she came in, shut the door behind her. She said, “You know what you’ve done?”

“Well,” Jack said, “I’ve done nothing. I’ve nothing to be ashamed of…” Jack thought maybe he had talked rough to some o’ the lassies when he had a wee drink with some o’ the maids in the palace or something. And he tried to think back in his mind what he had done as a mistake, but he couldn’t think on anything he had really done, what he had done to annoy the queen. But he racked his brains and racked his mind – “I must have done something,” he said to himself, “to annoy the queen.”

But the queen was standing; she’s terrible wicked and wild. There was no reasoning with her.

And he went down on his knees, “Your Majesty,” he said to the queen, “what have I done that makes you so upset?

“You!” she said. “I was happy and happy married to the king… You have come and destroyed my life!”

“Oh,” Jack said, “Your Majesty, I never destroyed your life. I never did any harm. All I did is come here and give the king back his keys.”

“That’s what you’ve done, destroyed my life by giving the king back his keys!”

“Well, I didn’t know about this.” But there was no reasoning with the queen. The more she talked the angrier she got. So, Jack begged upon her to tell him what was the reason behind the keys.

Within her anger she says, “One night, when the king was drunk he told me the story.”

Jack began to cock up his lugs; he wanted to find out.

She said, “His good friend the wizard, before he left, built a secret garden in the mountains, in the middle of the mountains and guarded it by three gates, so that nothing in the world could ever enter – unless they were to be opened by the three silver keys. And in that garden is a fountain. That fountain is the Fountain of Youth. Whoever spends a day there in that fountain loses a year o’ their life. And for every day that he spends he gets younger by a year. So now,” she said, “I was happy with the king, growing old with the king. What’s going to happen to me now when the king comes back a young man and me an old woman? What will he do? He’ll cast me aside like a bit o’ stick and take some young woman for his queen.
You
are the cause o’ that!” And she got angrier and angrier. She called for the guards: “Arrest that man! He insulted me!”

Immediately the guards came and Jack was arrested, thrown in the dungeons. He was taken before the court the next morning and the penalty for insulting the queen was death. Jack was to be hanged, hung by the neck until he was dead for insulting the queen! There was no escape for him. And he lay in a wee puckle straw, the rats running over the top o’ him days out and days in,
fed on as little as possible and barely a drink o’ water. Till Jack says to himself, “I wish to God I had never seen the silver keys.”

But anyway, the days passed by and Jack lost count of time. He barely knew day from night from a wee bit light shining through a slit in the wall in the dungeon. His beard grew long and his coat got tattered and worse he got. Till one day the door was flung open and in marched three guards. They pulled Jack to his feet.

“Come on, get on your feet, you insulter of the Royalty! Today you’re going to be hung.”

So, Jack was marched out by the courtroom to the square. The scaffold was built in the square and the people were all around, hundreds of them to see him hung. They were shouting and flinging stones at him as he was pulled by the guards. The guards were trying at the same time to hold the people back… that anybody, a stranger, would come into their district and insult Her Majesty the Queen! It was a great disgrace. It could never be lived down. But Jack was stood up, marched up the thirteen steps to the scaffold and the rope put round his neck. He was to be hung!

The hangman says, “Your last request before you get hung!”

Jack said, “I’ve no request to make. But if this is the way that ye treat a poor innocent man,” he said, “who came into your country with a present and greetings for the king… and I never insulted the queen!” But he pleaded and probed with the man, but it was no use with the hangman.

He was just ready to pull the trap to let Jack hang – when down through the crowd o’ folk came this horseman! And a voice rang up, “The king, the king! Make way for the king!”

And this man rode up. He came right beside the scaffold, jumped off his horse, ran up the thirteen steps and took his sword, cut the rope around Jack’s neck and led him down the steps.

And Jack looked. He looked again. “Thank God,” he says, “somebody’s saved me!”

“Jack, Jack,” he said, “what happened to ye?”

And Jack looked… the voice was familiar but Jack didn’t know who the man was. And he was dressed like nobody Jack had ever seen dressed before in his life!

He says, “Jack, do you no ken me?”

“No,” says Jack, “I dinna ken you!”

And the people all went down on their knees. “Back, go back,” he said to them, “make way for the king!” He says, “Jack, come with me, I want to speak to ye!”

Jack was glad to be saved. He said to himself, “I’m no caring who he is, but definitely he saved my life. He’s a king to me!” Jack was mesmerised. He didn’t know who this was – but this young man lifted him, rode him up through the crowd o’ folk. The folk left an opening and let them pass by. The man took him right up, up to the palace, to the king’s palace. In they went into the great chambers.

And the man called for two glasses o’ wine. He handed one to Jack. Jack was that shaken with fright he could hardly drink it.

“Calm yourself, Jack,” he said, “you’re safe now. Nothing’s going to bother ye. Ye’re home and I’m home.”

Jack was still amazed. He didn’t know what was wrong. This young man, well, in his forties, never the same man that… Jack didn’t know who he was!

He says, “Jack, do you no ken me? I’m your king!”

“Ha!” said Jack, “well, you’re no the same king that left here afore I went into that dungeon.”

“Aye,” he said, “Jack, I’m the same king.”

“Oh, aye!” said Jack. “Well, will ye do me one thing: will ye tell me about it? I’m lost and I’m in a terrible state – I was near hung! I was charged–’

“I know what you’re charged with,” said the king. “That’s why
I rescued you. But don’t fear, don’t fret. Don’t worry. Everything is going to be all right. But sit down and calm yourself. Take a good glass o’ wine and we’ll talk it over. You tell me your story first, Jack, the truth! And I’ll tell you mine.”

“Well,” Jack says, “after I bade good night to ye, I enjoyed myself and I went to the ballroom. I had a few drinks and I had a good feast. I had a good wash and good clean-up and I went to bed. And the queen came in. And she accused me of coming here with a present for you, the keys. She tellt me the story that you would ride to the Garden o’ Youth and stay there for twenty days, and come back twenty year younger. And then you would have no more time for her. I tried to reason with her but was no use. And she said I insulted her, called the guards and I was arrested and thrown in the dungeons. And I must have lay in the dungeons for twenty days.”

“Oh,” he said, “you look in a terrible state, but never mind, Jack! For the twenty days you spent in the dungeon she’ll spend the same.” He said, “Send for the queen immediately!”

And the queen was sent for. The queen came in. He told the queen, “Sit down there. You know what you’ve done? Now own up! What did Jack do to ye?”

She says… she couldn’t tell a lie to the king.

“Now,” he said, “don’t tell me any lies. I don’t want to hear any lies! I want the truth!”

“I knew,” she said, “that Jack brought back the keys to you, and you would go…” and she started to greet. “You would go to the Garden o’ Youth and you would come back a young man. You would have no more time for me. You would probably take a young queen and I’d be cast aside. I accused him, he was the cause o’ it. I was happy as I was.”

And he said, “You, for that, would get a young man hung while I was gone – in my absence? Woman, you ought to be ashamed o’ yourself! You, my queen that spent your entire life with me, think
that I would do a thing like that on you! My full intentions, after I had had my spell in the Garden o’ Youth, was to send
you
to the Garden o’ Youth for your spell. You’re still my queen and you’re still my wife. I love you. But if you think that anybody else could take your place with me, then you’re not fit to be my queen! I’m not going to forgive ye; you are going to the dungeons for the same length o’ time that Jack spent in the dungeons, for twenty days. And by that time you’d better think over it… you’re going to suffer the way that poor Jack suffered, the man that gave me eternal life!” he says to the guards, “Take her away!”

Away go the guards with the queen. She’s put in the dungeons.

The king ordered for Jack to get everything he required under the sun, and he and Jack sat down and had a good drink. He said, “Jack, I must apologise for the queen.”

And Jack says, “Well, I was nearly hung, and it’s an awful thing to be nearly hung.”

“Oh,” said the king “it’s a bad thing to experience. I believe it! But let her suffer – she’ll be all right.”

“No,” said Jack, “no. My poor old mother is back home and she’ll be worried about me. I couldn’t go back to my mother and tell her that the queen spent twenty days in a dungeon, even suppose… I’m a man and I could take it. But no, our queen couldn’t spend twenty days in a dungeon!”

He said, “Jack, is that the truth? Are you ready to forgive the queen for nearly getting you your death?”

Jack said, “Aye.”

And the king rose, he clapped Jack on the back. “Jack,” he said, “look, you’re a better man than me …” He sent his guards. “But I’ll tell ye something,” he said, “she’s going to apologise to you when she comes back!”

So, they sent for the queen and the queen was brought out in front of the king and in front of Jack.

And the king turned round. He said to the queen, he smiled
and laughed, “You, as the queen, my queen, sent this young man nearly to his death. And now
he’s
going to pardon
you
. I
was going to put you for twenty days to the dungeon, but
he
wouldn’t allow it. And he is the greatest friend that ever I have had,” and the queen started to greet. He said, “Jack has forgiven ye. And tomorrow I’m taking you for a journey to the Garden o’ Youth.”

And the queen was so excited that both the king and Jack had forgiven her that she started to cry again. So, she called for one o’ her maids.

Jack turned round to the king and he said, “Our Majesty, I think it’s time that I was going to see my old mother.”

“Well,” said the king, “we’ll be going in the morning anyway. But remember, Jack, you’re no going without your reward!”

And the queen said to one o’ her maids, “Go into my bedchamber and bring me one o’ the finest diamond necklaces that I possess. And give it to Jack to take back to his mother in token of my gratitude for saving me from twenty days in the dungeon!”

And the king went ben and came out with two bags of gold. He places them down on the front of the table and says to Jack, “Now, Jack, that’s for you. That’s your reward. And go to my stables. Get the finest horse that you can find. And the finest suit o’ clothes and anything else you want under the sun – just take it for the asking.” And the queen and king bade Jack goodbye. But he says, “Remember, Jack, if you ever come my way, don’t be feart to stop in, because you’re my greatest friend.”

Jack says, “If you keep carrying on and getting younger the way ye do, I’ll probably no recognise ye!”

“You’ll recognise me, Jack,” he said, “because if you don’t visit me, I’ll come and visit you! And you never ken, maybe some day
you
might take a wee trip to the Garden o’ Youth!”

The next morning Jack packed up, took his two bags o’ gold and his diamond necklace, got a fine horse and rode back to his mother.

And when he sat down, he told his mother the same story as I’m telling you. He bought a great big farm with all his gold and he became a big farmer. And he could still be around to this day because I heard late in the story, that Jack and the king paid a visit to the Garden o’ Youth!

And that’s the last o’ my story.

Many years ago there lived an old woodcutter and his wife in the forest. He made his livelihood mostly by collecting and selling wind-blown sticks, stuff that was blown down by the wind. In these days saws weren’t very popular and he couldn’t afford good wood-cutting tools. He just used whatever he had. So, he and his wife managed to struggle away and make a kind of living with the little bits of wood he could pick up in the forest, as he got them free.

But coming round by the wintertime it came a very heavy storm of snow, and it was deep in the forest. It just took him bare than busy to get as much that would keep his own fire going, never mind to sell to keep him and his wife going. So, three days he tried his best to get a few sticks for sale; but no success. The snow was far too deep.

So, he comes home and he says to his wife, “You know, I’ve tried my best and things is in a bad situation. The snow is too deep. I don’t know what’s going to come of us.”

“Well, John,” she says, “you’ll have to try your best and do something, because the winter’s coming on hard.”

“I know. But,” he says, “what can I do? Have we nothing we could sell?”

“No, nothing we could sell.”

“And,” he says, “we can’t borrow anything from anybody because we’ve tried and we owe a lot of money to a lot of people.”

“Well, John,” she says, “you’ll have to swallow your pride and do one thing: you’ll have to go and see your three rich uncles, ask them for some money.”

Now, John didn’t like this idea. But anyway, for his wife’s sake he made up his mind he would swallow his pride and go and see his three rich uncles that he had never seen for many’s a year. He had a long way to go.

So, early next morning his wife makes him a wee bit lunch in a bag and away he goes. He travels for two days till he comes to these rich uncles who are three rich merchants, three brothers. He comes to their door.

Oh, they made him that welcome! Poor John… they always felt sorry for him, wondered how he was getting on. So, he stayed with them and they asked him how was his wife, and oh, they gave him everything he could ask for. He never mentioned how financially he was off.

So the next morning he says, “Before I go I’d better bid you farewell.”

One brother says to the other, “Poor John, we’ll have to give him a present.”

“What shall we give him?” says one.

“Money,” says the other. “I think we should give him some money. It’d be the best thing for him. We’ll give him some money to help him on his way, he’s so poor.”

So, between the three of them they managed to raise up a hundred silver shillings. And they put it in a bag and they gave it to John. Now before he left they told him, “John, when you go back to the house, don’t be extravagant and give it to your wife and let her spend it all at once. Try and make it do you for a while till you’re able to get more work.”

“Right, uncles,” he said, “I’ll do that.” So, he bade them farewell.

Away he goes with his hundred silver shillings and he plans and talks it over to himself on the road home, he’ll hide it when he gets back to the house. When he landed home he searched the house for a hiding place.

In one corner of the wee house where he stayed his wife had a heap of rags, old rags. He takes his wee bag of silver shillings and hides it under the rags. Every wet day the wife was needing a couple of shillings, he would go and give a few to her, never telling her or making her any wiser how much he had or where it came from.

But one day the snow disappeared. And who came to the door but a ragman collecting, asking the lady if she had any old rags lying around for sale – he would give her a shilling or two.

“Yes,” she said, “I’ve a heap of rags in the corner.” So, she gathered all the big heap of rags in the corner, John’s bag with his hundred shillings and everything, gave them to the ragman.

The ragman thanked her very much and away he goes.

That evening John came back from the forest. First thing, he went to see that his silver shillings were there… but the lot was gone.

“What have you done, wife, with all that heap of rags that was in the corner of the house?”

“Oh, John,” she said, “there was a ragman here the day and he gave me a sixpence – I gave him the whole lot.”

“Oh, dear-dear-dear,” he says, “my beautiful bag of money!”

“What money?” she says.

He says, “I got a hundred silver shillings from my uncles and I hid them among the rags!”

Oh, the wife was heartbroken, you know.

So, for the next two-three days and a week things got as bad as ever. They were stuck again, nothing doing. John couldn’t get any sale for his sticks. So, the wife coaxed him the best way in the world and made him once again promise he would go to see his three rich uncles once more.

Back he goes to see his rich uncles. Oh, they make him welcome, poor John! They bring him in, give him the best they had to eat, keep him for the night, talk to him all night, give him
a good drink, everything he requires. They asked him how he got on.

And he turned round and told them what happened.

They said, “We told you…”

“But,” he said, “I hid the money in among the rags and my wife gave the rags away to the ragman!”

“Well, John,” they said, “we’ll have to do something for you again.” So, they searched their pockets between them, and all the money they had was fifty silver shillings. They gave him fifty silver shillings.

“Now, John,” one says, “remember – hide it where your wife won’t find it!” They bid him farewell.

True to his word, John goes away back. This time he hides it in a dustbin at the side of the house, the old dustbin. He works away a couple of days, gives his wife a shilling now and a shilling again. Till one day the dustcart came, a man with his horse and cart collecting the ashes. In these days they called at the houses and asked if you had any ashes to lift, and you paid them a penny or two for taking away your ashes and dust.

“Oh, yes,” she said, “my dustbin’s never been emptied for months! Will you empty it for us, please?”

So, the dustman came and emptied the ashes into the dustcart and away he goes.

When John comes back from the forest the first thing he goes to look in his ashbin… it was empty.

“Wife, wife, wife! What have you done?”

She says, “What?”

He says, “Who emptied the ashbin?”

She said, “The ash cart was here today, the man with his pony and ash cart was here. I gave him the old ashbin to empty.”

He said, “My silver shillings were in the bin – fifty silver shillings I got from my uncles.”

“Well,” she said, “they’re gone.”

“Oh, wife, wife,” he said. And the wife felt very sad, you know, about this. She couldn’t speak. She was just nearly in tears. But anyway, John forgave her.

He said, “We’ll just try our best. But don’t ask me to go back to my uncles any more for any more money because I’m not going, in no way!”

“Well, never mind, John,” she says, “we’ll have to try. You’ll just have to work all the harder and see will we manage to keep ourselves alive. But I’m really sorry.”

“Oh, well, wife, it canna be helped. It was only a mistake.”

But anyway, time passed by and they managed to survive the best they could. Till one day a carriage pulled up at the door. Who was it but the three rich uncles who had come to pay John a visit!

John’s wife met them at the door, welcomed them in. She said, “We have nothing to give you to eat. Come in, we’ve nothing to give you to drink. We’re very poor.”

“Oh, where’s John?”

“John will be home in a minute.”

John came home. “I’m sorry, uncles,” he says.

“But,” one says, “I thought we gave you a hundred and fifty shillings – that should have kept you through the winter.”

John says, “I hid it as you told me – in the dustbin. And my wife gave the dustbin away to the ash cart, and also therein was my fifty silver shillings.”

So, the two uncles were furious. They rose to their feet.

“John,” one says, “you are a foolish man. You don’t deserve any money. We were foolish ever to give you money in the first place.”

The other says, “You can’t look after any money, John. You’re better without it. No wonder you’re poor!”

“But, wait a minute,” says the third uncle. “I’ve something in the carriage that’s good enough for him to look after.” And out he
goes to the carriage and fetches in a lump o’ lead, a square lump o’ lead. He crashes it down on the table.

“There, John,” he says. “A lump o’ lead is all you’re fit for! When you can’t look after money maybe you can look after a lump o’ lead.” And away they go, jump in the carriage and bid John farewell.

So, the wife took the lump o’ lead and she placed it on the windowsill. Days passed by. They forgot all about it. But one day, it was a beautiful day, they heard a knock at the door. This is a fisherman.

“I wonder,” he says, “I forgot my matches. Could you give me a light for my pipe?”

“Sure,” says John, “come in and have a cup of tea.” John fetches him into the house, gives him a cup of tea and gives him a light for his pipe.

And he’s sitting looking around him. He sees this lump o’ lead lying on the windowsill. He says, “Is that a lump o’ lead you have there?”

“Yes,” says John, “it’s a lump o’ lead. It’s all I’m fit for to look after! It’ll lie there…”

“Wait!” says the fisherman, “would you give me that lead? For a long time I have been searching for a lump of lead just like that to hold down my nets, my fishing nets.”

“I’ll take it,” says the fisherman, but I’ll make you one promise – that I’ll bring you the first and finest fish that ever I catch when I put that lead on my net!”

“Oh, well,” says John, “please yourself!”

So, away goes the fisherman. But true to his word, the next day up comes the fisherman. And he has this most beautiful fish you ever saw – a great big cod! And he comes into the house, lays it down.

“There,” he says, “that’s for you and your wife. It’ll make a lovely supper for you. That’s the first fish that was in my net
when you gave me the lead – the very thing I was needing.” And he thanked him very much and away he goes.

“Well,” says John to his wife, “that was very nice o’ him. At least the lead got us something, something worthwhile at last.”

True enough, says the wife, “It’s a good fish… I’ve never had a bit o’ fish for years.”

“Well,” he said, “the sooner you get it cooked the better!”

She took the fish into the kitchen and split the fish up. And when she split up the fish’s stomach out popped this ring! With a red ruby stone it was just the most beautiful ring you ever saw in all your life. And she cried to John, would he come and see this!

And John took it. It was just the most beautiful ring, a rich blood-red ruby. And John’s heart was just fair taken with this ring. He put it on his finger and he said he would never part with it.

But they hardly sat down for a minute at the table to enjoy their fish when they heard a knock at the door. This was a rich merchant passing by. He said he was on the way to sell his wares, would they give him something to eat till he and his caravan got to the town?

John says, “We’re very poor and humble people, but come in and share what we’ve got. We’re only having fish.”

“Oh,” says the rich merchant, “fish is the very thing I need.” And he told all his train of people to wait for him while he went in and enjoyed a bit with John and his wife. He looked at John, and he said to him, “That is a lovely ring you’re wearing.”

“Ah, yes,” said John, “it’s a beautiful ring.”

He said, “Will you sell it?”

“Oh, no,” John says, “it’s far too beautiful to sell. It’s far too beautiful!”

“Oh,” says the rich merchant, “it’s something like that I’ve been looking for, for many’s a year. I would really give you a lot of money for that ring.”

“Well,” says John, “how much would you really give me for it?”

He said, “I’ll give you a thousand silver shillings for your ring.”

“Done,” says John, “you can have it!

And the rich merchant paid John a thousand silver shillings for his ring. John and his wife had plenty money to keep them going for the rest of their days.

And that’s the end of my story.