The Color of Destiny (The Color of Heaven Series Book 2) (3 page)

“And it’s not just about that,” I said, turning my back on her and picking up my pencil again. “It’s about Mia. She knew I liked Glenn. Of all the guys in the school, I don’t know why she had to go after
him
. She could’ve had anyone she wanted. Glenn was
mine
.”

I stared down at the half-finished equation in my notebook, but all the numbers and letters appeared jumbled.

“Maybe there’s a hint of jealousy, there,” Mom gently said. “On her part, I mean. Maybe she needed to prove she was older and wiser, doing certain things first.”

I swiveled again to face her. “Like what? Date a guy? She’s dated hundreds of them. Okay, maybe not hundreds, but Glenn’s certainly not her first.”

Mom looked away and I regretted what I had said. I’m sure she suspected that Mia wasn’t a virgin, but it didn’t need to be announced at home with a megaphone.

For a long while we sat in silence. Mom had a habit of giving me time to ponder my words and reflect upon the hurt they caused. I did ponder them, and I was only sorry for how it hurt
her
. I didn’t care how it reflected on Mia, because it was the truth.

“Someday,” Mom said, “you are going to meet the most wonderful boy.”

I held up a hand. “No. Please don’t say that.”

She stared at me, then nodded and stood up. “I’m here for you if you need me. If you ever want to talk about it.”

Somehow I managed a melancholy smile, because she wasn’t the one I was angry with. That honor belonged to Mia.

But not to Glenn. Looking back on it now, I wonder why I didn’t blame him more for what happened. Why I made excuses for him.

Clearly, not much would change in the years to come, because once the drinking started, I continued to make excuses for him.

Chapter Eight

There are times when a feeling of hopelessness dominates our lives, but sometimes you just need to be patient. It’s either not as bad as you think it is when anxiety is strangling you in its double-fisted grip—or perhaps it’s about to do a one-eighty.

I remember the exact date of that sudden hairpin turn during ninth grade. On that night, the course of my life changed forever. Despite what you might think, I have no regrets.

How could I possibly want to change anything, because it resulted in a gift I cannot begin to comprehend all these years later, when I am no longer fifteen. I am now a grown woman, and I am grateful for what happened in my youth, no matter how difficult it was at the time.

But I am getting ahead of myself again...

Chapter Nine

His name was Jeremy. He was a friend of Glenn’s, one of the guys who played basketball on the senior team. He had been at the mall that day when we all met, but I hadn’t taken much notice of him, though he was better looking than Glenn. He was tall and golden haired with broad shoulders and a dreamy pair of blue eyes framed by long black lashes. Intellectually, I knew he was the best looking of the bunch, but for reasons I couldn’t explain, I only had eyes for Glenn.

One night, the phone rang, and my dad called up the stairs. “Kate! It’s for you!”

I had been lying on my bed listening to music, feeling sorry for myself. I remember the song. It was “The Killing Moon”
by Echo and the Bunnymen—slightly alternative. Mia probably wouldn’t know it.

“Hello?” I said.

“Hi, Kate, it’s Jeremy. How are you doing?”

Immediately my heart began to pound, because Jeremy was a connection to those blissful few weeks with Glenn, when I had traveled in the same social circle. But why was Jeremy calling me? Did Glenn want to send a message? Had he realized Mia was not the right one for him?

“I’m good,” I said with forced enthusiasm as I sat up on the edge of my bed. “How are you?”

“Great,” he replied. “I hope I’m not calling at a bad time. You’re not studying for a test or anything?”

“No, I’m just listening to music.”

“Yeah? What are you listening to?”

I paused and shot a glance at my stereo. “Echo and the Bunnymen.”

“Cool,” he replied.

Another pause. My stomach started to turn somersaults.

“I haven’t seen much of you these past few weeks,” Jeremy said. “Where have you been?”

Maybe it wasn’t as obvious to everyone else that I had a fanatical thing for Glenn, and that my sister had stabbed me between the shoulder blades. So I spoke casually. “I had a ton of projects due. Sometimes I wish the teachers would talk to each other instead of assigning all their stuff at the same time.”

“I know what you mean. You have MacIntosh for English, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you reading
To Kill a Mockingbird
?”

“I have an essay due on it next week.”

“Are you finished the book yet?”

“I read it last summer, but I need to go over it again. MacIntosh wants us to pick a theme of our own to write about, but there are so many.”

“It’s a good book,” he said. “Did you see the movie?”

“No.”

“It’s in black and white. It’s good, but they leave a bunch of stuff out. It’s probably best not to watch it until after you write your paper.”

“I’ll take that advice. Thanks.”

I started to relax a bit. I inched back on the bed to lean against the pillows and headboard.

We talked about school and Jeremy’s job at the grocery store, and what happened at the party a few weeks ago when the cops showed up. The guy who hosted the party was grounded for a month. I hadn’t heard about that.

“So are you going to the dance next weekend?” Jeremy asked.

I felt my eyebrows pull together in astonishment. “I’m not sure.”

Mia and Glenn were going.
Together
. She’d already bought a new pair of shoes. I wasn’t keen on watching them hold hands all night and make out while they waltzed to some schmaltzy Air Supply song.

“Would you go if someone asked you?” Jeremy added.

I was completely bowled over. Did he have a thing for me all along? Had I been too blind to notice?

“It depends on who’s asking,” I replied, feeling very mellow and seductive.

“That would be me,” he said with a chuckle. “It’ll be a good time, I think. You want to go?”

After what happened between Glenn and Mia, I can’t deny that at that moment my ego was a bouncing ball of satisfaction, especially because this invitation was coming from one of the best-looking guys in the school.

“I’d love to,” I replied.

The whole world turned rosy red before my eyes.

He said he’d pick me up at seven.

o0o

The dance was still a week away, but Jeremy began an immediate courtship that impressed me greatly. He came to my classroom as soon as the bell rang for lunch each day and invited me to go for walks up and down the halls.

We would walk for a while, then linger in my classroom doorway, facing each other while leaning against the doorjambs. We chatted with other students who passed by.

My friends thought I was the luckiest girl in the world, but for me, the jury was still out on that point.

Chapter Ten

This may seem far-fetched. I still can’t believe it really happened. It’s almost comical when I think about it, but I assure you, this is how it went down.

I was in our garage the day before the dance, looking for a box that had gone missing when we moved to Bar Harbor. It contained some books from the old living room and a collection of 45s that belonged to me—yes, I am referring to the vinyl records. We still had a turntable with a needle, and I was very attached to my Springsteen
Hungry Hearts
single, and the
Eagle’s Live
cassette, with the most perfect rendition of “I Can’t Tell You Why” ever recorded.

The door that connected the garage to the kitchen opened on squeaky hinges, and Mia walked out to stand on the landing. She had just curled her hair. It was disturbingly bouncy.

“I need to talk to you,” she said, resting her hand on the railing.

“It sounds urgent,” I coolly replied while I continued to pull boxes from the shelving units.

“It is.”

Honestly, I didn’t want to hear whatever it was she had to say to me. An apology wouldn’t make any difference. Even though I had a spectacular date to the dance, I wasn’t ready to forgive her for coming on to Glenn at that party. It was an issue of trust. She was my sister. I had expected more.

“I don’t know how you’re going to take this,” she said to me, “but I need to tell you how I feel.”

I gave no reply, because I didn’t really care. I was still so angry with her.

Then her selfish, earth-shattering pronouncement dropped like a bomb into the cluttered garage.

“I like Jeremy,” she said.

Her voice echoed off the walls and bounced back and forth like a rubber ball.

Pardon the mixed metaphors, but I was in complete shock.

My hands froze over the cardboard box labeled ‘more junk.’ I turned to face her. “I beg your pardon?”

“I like Jeremy,” she defiantly repeated, her gaze never veering from mine.

“You have
got
to be kidding me.”

“No. I’m sorry, but it’s how I feel. There’s just something about him.”

“Something about him?” I wanted to spit! “How about the fact that he’s interested in
me
? Is that what makes him so attractive to you?”

When she didn’t reply, I couldn’t hold back the floodwaters of my wrath. “You have
Glenn
! Is he not enough for you?”

Mia shrugged her shoulders. Seriously. I wanted to strangle her until she turned blue.

Instead, before I committed a capital offense I would regret for the rest of my life, I swallowed hard, shut my eyes, and held up a hand. “Please don’t say another word. I can’t even talk to you right now.”

Then I simply walked out and didn’t look back.

o0o

Two days later, on the day of the dance, my sister acted exactly like the spoiled brat I had come to know. She called Glenn on the phone and told him she couldn’t go with him to the dance because she wasn’t feeling well.

As a result, I had two dates that night: Jeremy, who was doing the driving, and Glenn, who would ride in the back seat alone—because he had been stood up by my sister.

Chapter Eleven

He was a good sport about it. Glenn, I mean. He didn’t moan or complain about Mia’s inconvenient illness. He was fun and easygoing, as always. He was the Glenn I had fallen in love with—the guy who always seemed calm and together, taking everything in stride.

When we arrived at the dance, we met up with the rest of his crowd and found a table near the stage with enough chairs for all of us. I was the youngest in the bunch, and it was only at that moment that it occurred to me that Mia might have resented the fact that I was infringing on her territory as a senior. Not that it mattered. I liked this group and they liked me. And really, what’s two years as an age difference? It’s nothing, once you finish high school.

Jeremy sat beside me and leaned close with his arm slung over the back of my chair. He asked me to dance every time a popular song came on.

Glenn didn’t dance much. He stayed at the table, slouched low in his chair. I found myself talking to him a lot, however.

I liked Jeremy. He was a nice guy and incredibly good-looking, but I felt most comfortable around Glenn. I enjoyed our conversations. We seemed to share the same opinions about everything.

When a particular R.E.M. song came on, I saw Glenn sit up in his chair. I turned to Jeremy.

“Mind if I dance with him? Poor guy’s depressed about my sister. He hasn’t moved from his chair all night.”

“Sure, go ahead,” Jeremy replied. He seemed genuinely indifferent.

I tapped Glenn on the arm. “Want to dance?”

“Yeah,” he replied, and we stood up.

The song was “Can’t Get There From Here,” and we danced with a circle of friends. As soon as it ended, a waltz started. It was “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton.

I was about to return to the table, but Glenn clasped my arm. “Dance with me,” he said.

Butterflies swarmed thrillingly in my belly, but I fought to keep my emotions hidden as I moved toward him.

His hands slid around my waist and he pulled me close. My heart beat so fast I could barely breathe. All I wanted to do was hold onto him forever. I don’t know why I was still so in love with him, considering the fact that he had been dating my sister for the past two weeks.

“How’s it going with Jeremy?” he asked, leaning back slightly to look into my eyes.

“Okay, I guess.”

Glenn glanced back at the table where Jeremy sat forward in his chair, elbows on knees. He was engaged in a conversation with one of his buddies and hadn’t seemed to notice that Glenn and I were still dancing. Or if he had noticed, he chose not to acknowledge it.

“He’s a good guy,” Glenn said.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

We said nothing more about Jeremy. We simply danced, but I was intensely aware of the feel of Glenn’s shoulders beneath my fingertips. I slid one hand down, like a caress, to rest on his bicep.