The Click Trilogy (45 page)
Authors: Lisa Becker
From: Shelley Manning – November 29, 2012 – 5:30 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!
GAG!
From: Renee Greene – November 29, 2012 – 5:45 PM
To: cassidy
Cc: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!
Ha! Ha! Ha! We’ve been laughing our asses off all day wondering how you would respond. No, we would like for you to be a groomsman, Mark.
From: Mark Finlay – November 29, 2012 – 5:46 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: PBCupLover, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon, cassidy
Subject: Re: Vegas casinos going broke!
Perfect! That I can and will do as you say “I do.”
From: Shelley Manning – December 1, 2012 – 10:14 AM
To: Renee Greene, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, cassidy, PBCupLover, Greg Gordon
Subject: Carbo-Load!
Okay people. You’d better carbo-load tonight, because tomorrow I’m working your asses hard. Not only will we need to pack up all of my stuff, but the stronger of you (read: Ethan, Mark and Cassidy) will need to help load furniture on/off the truck to the storage facility. Nick will be here to help, too.
I’ll have bagels and OJ in the morning and pizza and beer will be provided for lunch. If you want something other than that, bring it yourself. And no whining allowed. You’re not going to have to deal with me for a long while after tomorrow, so you can put up with my demands for one more day.
That’s all. Oh, and thanks!
From: Renee Greene – December 1, 2012 – 10:17 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!
What do you mean, “the stronger of you” …and I’m not included? Oh hell, who am I kidding? I’m a weakling. And a complainer. I know it. You know it. I’ll take care of breakables. That’s more my speed. See you tomorrow.
From: Shelley Manning – December 1, 2012 – 10:25 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!
It’s taken 12 years of our friendship for you to
finally
be secure enough to know your limitations and be okay with them. My work here is
finally
done. I can leave with a clear conscience.
From: Renee Greene – December 1, 2012 – 10:26 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!
Please don’t go. Is that selfish of me? I don’t want you to go.
From: Shelley Manning – December 1, 2012 – 10:28 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!
Sweetie, it’s not selfish to want me around. It’s really just a natural response. Seriously, you don’t think this is killing me too? But you have Ethan now and I want to see if that kind of happiness is in the cards for me and Nick. Is that selfish of me?
From: Renee Greene – December 1, 2012 – 10:32 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!
YES! You are being completely selfish! ;) (YIKES! Hard to be sarcastic in emails. Thank goodness for emoticons.) You are doing the right thing. I’m just going to miss you. That’s all.
From: Shelley Manning – December 1, 2012 – 10:34 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!
Me too, Sweetie. Mwah! Mwah!
From: Mark Finlay – December 1, 2012 – 11:15 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Gordon, cassidy, PBCupLover, Greg Gordon, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!
Cass and I will be there, sir, drill sergeant, sir.
From: Shelley Manning – December 1, 2012 – 11:25 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Cc: Ashley Gordon, cassidy, PBCupLover, Greg Gordon, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Carbo-Load!
Excellent. I appreciate the tone of deference. Be sure to keep it up tomorrow.
From: Renee Greene – December 4, 2012 – 3:27 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: 7 Stages of Grief
OMG! I’m definitely going through the seven stages of grief. I can’t
believe
Shelley is moving. Despite the previous sentence, I’ve passed denial. I
know
it’s real. And with the fact I’m leaving with her tomorrow for Seattle, I
really
know it’s real.
I’ve literally been sitting on the couch crying my eyes out every night for the past few days. And I was convinced I had a rare disease or two. I got these weird aches and pains, which according to the internet were sure signs of something horrible happening in my body. But they went away after I got some sleep.
Now, I’ve moved onto anger and bargaining. I completely lashed out at Ethan for leaving his dirty dishes in the sink. I woke up to find them in the sink and screamed, “I’m not your maid!” Then I burst into tears and told him I’ve been looking at tech PR jobs in Seattle, that we should consider moving there too and that once his company goes public, that would be a great place for it to relocate.
CRAP! I know depression is next. And you know what happens when I get depressed. Time to break out the frosting!
From: Ashley Gordon – December 4, 2012 – 4:12 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: 7 Stages of Grief
Oh, Renee. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I’m really going to miss Shelley, too. I’ll miss her unsettling stories, outrageously inappropriate comments and argumentative tone. We’ll always have email, right? And besides, you have so much to look forward to – being an Auntie to little Siobhan, planning your wedding, etc. Can I take you to Mel’s when you’re back from Seattle for an ice cream sundae – my treat?
From: Renee Greene – December 4, 2012 – 4:45 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: 7 Stages of Grief
Hmmm. I’m not getting the sense you’re going to miss Shel all that much. Tee hee! No, I know you’re going to miss her. I know I’m lucky to still have you, Mark, Cassidy and Ethan to spend time with. We all have a ton of great things to look forward to. I’m just going to miss her terribly. I don’t think an ice cream from Mel’s will fill the void, however I’m willing to give it a try. ;) I’ll call you when I’m back.
From: Ashley Gordon – December 5, 2012 – 9:02 AM
To: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning
Subject: No girl time because of the girl time
Good luck out on the road tomorrow girls. Again, I wish I could join you, but I don’t think me and a nursing baby are what you want on your 6-day drive to Seattle. I can’t wait to hear all about your adventures. Take lots of pictures and send me a daily update of what you’ve seen, how many miles you’ve traveled, how much junk you’ve eaten, etc. I’ll miss the fun girl time and will be living vicariously through your emails. Please don’t skimp on the details.
From: Renee Greene – December 5, 2012 – 9:13 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: No girl time because of the girl time
I will provide a daily digest of our adventures. Just in case you want to track our travels, see the attached link where our itinerary has been mapped out for us courtesy of – you guessed it – Mark. He’s planned out all of our routes, printed out maps and even identified the best hotel accommodations available depending on where we decide to stop each day.
From: Ashley Gordon – December 5, 2012 – 9:25 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: No girl time because of the girl time
Sounds fantastic. Again, I’m sorry I’m going to miss it all. But come to think of it, 6 days cooped up in a car with Shelley – and knowing she’s going to be driving for a good portion of the time – might be more than I could handle anyway.
From: Renee Greene – December 5, 2012 – 9:27 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: No girl time because of the girl time
Yeah, she’s not the best driver, is she? I’m going to be my best to stay calm and keep her focused on the road.
From: Ashley Gordon – December 5, 2012 – 9:29 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: No girl time because of the girl time
Safe travels, Renee. Have a ball. I‘ll look forward to the daily digest.
From: Renee Greene – December 6, 2012 – 8:33 AM
To: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, cassidy
Subject: And we’re off
Kitsch Tour Twenty Twelve, or KT3 as I’ve dubbed it, is ON! Essentially, we plan to see every oddball, peculiar, weird, funny, strange and just plain wacky thing from here to Seattle. I’ll email a daily digest of what we do, along with pix, so you can live vicariously through us. Love to all!
Shelley says, “Thanks again everyone for everything. I’m not much for sentimentality, as you know. I won’t get mushy on you. Just remember, if you make your way up to Seattle, there’s a hotel not too far from my place where you can stay. HA! Seriously, would love it if you come up and stay with us for a visit. Bye for now.”
From: Renee Greene – December 6, 2012 – 8:39 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: What a doll!
Thanks for the road trip care package. You are such a doll!
XOXO, Me
From: Renee Greene – December 6, 2012 – 8:41 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Reminder – not that you likely need it
Hey there. Just a quick reminder, not that
you
really need a reminder, to please put that package in the mail for me today. Thanks so much. I think Ethan is going to love it. It’s only been a few hours and I miss him already. Talk soon!
From: PBCupLover – December 6, 2012 – 8:44 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: What a doll!
Just don’t eat all of those chips in one sitting. Oh, and turn on your iPod. There’s a whole playlist of road trip songs like “500 Miles” by the Proclaimers and “Take It Easy” by the Eagles for you.
From: Renee Greene – December 6, 2012 – 8:57 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: What a doll!
What GREAT music. I’ve started belting out the tunes already.
Shelley says, “Is this karmic payback for something, Ethan? Putting me in a car with Renee for six days with all of these sing-along tunes?”
From: PBCupLover – December 6, 2012 – 9:03 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: What a doll!
It was fun to make. Maybe when you’re back, we can take a little road trip ourselves and enjoy some quality time together. Miss you already, Babe.
From: Mark Finlay – December 6, 2012 – 10:54 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Reminder – not that you likely need it
Not that I’m trying to pry or anything, but what is in that big box? I just know the post office is going to ask me if it’s anything flammable or needs to be insured. And to be perfectly frank, I
am
curious as hell. Do tell!
From: Renee Greene – December 6, 2012 – 10:59 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Reminder – not that you likely need it
It’s a toy dump truck filled with peanut butter cups (his fav) and a note that reads, “Despite the distance, I haven’t dumped you!” Just wanted him to be sure to know how much I love him and will miss him this week.
And honestly, he deserves it. He put together the most awesome road trip care package for me and Shel complete with box o’ munchies, Red Bull, gas card, car phone charger, first aid kit, etc. And he came up with some funny games like “count the mullets,” “spot the road kill” and “truck stop diner roulette.”
From: Mark Finlay – December 6, 2012 – 11:04 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Reminder – not that you likely need it
You clever couple! He will totally love that. I will take it over today. Not to worry.
On another note, can’t wait to get the daily digest. I’m confident you ladies will have a good trip north.
Cass and I are heading out tomorrow to Santa Barbara for a few days and…drum roll please…I’m going to propose. I know this is news I should have either shared with you by phone or waited to share after she – hopefully – says yes. But I really needed to tell someone.
You’ve been so busy helping Shelley prepare for her move, trying to spend time with Ethan, supporting Ashley with the new baby, etc. I didn’t want to add anything else to your plate. I did manage to ring shop on my own, believe it or not!
It was a month of intensive research and price comparisons. I feel like I’m now an expert in the area. If my new cell game is a bust, I can always get a job at Blue Nile.
Don’t tell anyone about this, though – except Ethan of course. I don’t want Cass accidentally getting wind of it. She doesn’t have a clue.
I’ll give you a call after I do it, to tell you how it went. In the meantime, have fun on your trip and be safe!
From: Renee Greene – December 6, 2012 – 11:07 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Reminder – not that you likely need it
WOW! WOW! WOW! That is such exciting news. I’m THRILLED for you. I just know she’ll say yes. She’d be crazy not to. I’m sorry that I haven’t been there for you. Please call me when it’s a done deal so I can congratulate Cassidy and you properly.
Thanks for making sure Ethan gets that package. I knew you would be the right person to handle this little detail for me, although now I feel badly for asking, since you’ve had your mind on much more important things.
I will anxiously await your call.
From: Mark Finlay – December 6, 2012 – 11:10 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Reminder – not that you likely need it
No apologies needed. You’ve been busy taking care of everyone else, as usual. I just hope when you get back from Seattle that you take a little time to do something for yourself.
From: Renee Greene – December 6, 2012 – 11:12 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Reminder – not that you likely need it
You’re amazing. Love you, my friend.
From: Renee Greene – December 6, 2012 – 9:43 PM
To: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Ashley Gordon, cassidy
Subject: Daily Digest – Installment 1
We’ve survived day 1 of KT3. It was a lot of driving to make it up to the Bay area in one day. But we managed to make a fun stop along the way in…Bakersfield. Yes, Bakersfield. I know, I know. You’re thinking, “What could be the big attraction in Bakersfield?” See attached…a giant shoe! Yes, it is a 30-foot- long shoe with a 50-foot-long shoe lace.
Considering my love affair with shoes, I just had to take a photo opp. And it’s a good way to whet my appetite for the big finish in Seattle – the Giant Shoe Museum.
Hope to have more exciting things to share tomorrow. In the meantime, we’re off to bed. Want to get a jump start on our day in the Bay area tomorrow. Sweet dreams, my loves.
From: Ashley Gordon – December 7, 2012 – 1:22 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 1
Sounds fun…at least more fun than sleepless nights, hair loss (YES! My hair is starting to fall out in clumps!), poopie diapers, etc. As you can tell, I’m bummed you girls are having so much fun without me. But looking forward to tomorrow’s update.
From: PBCupLover – December 7, 2012 – 9:54 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Passing the time
Not that you girls are going to grow sick of each other in the car, but thought I would help you pass the time with a list of fun, interesting questions. Figured I would send you a few each day and you and Shelley could discuss on the road.
There are a few, of course, that I would find mighty interesting too, so feel free to share the results of your discussion. In particular is question #2 below. Here’s your list for today:
- If you could permanently alter one thing about your physical appearance, what would you change?
- If you could alter one physical characteristic of your mate, what would you change?
- If you could dine alone with anyone from any period in history, which person would it be?
- If you could, in retrospect, change one thing about your childhood, what would it be?
- If you could be instantly fluent in another language, what would it be?
Okay, Babe. Drive safe and call me tonight. Love you!
From: Renee Greene– December 7, 2012 – 10:01 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Daily Digest – Installment 1
Hair loss? YIKES! It sounds like even with the sleeplessness, poop, spit up (I’m assuming), et al, you realize that you have it pretty darn good with my sweet angel, right? I hope so! Talk soon.