The Click Trilogy (40 page)
Authors: Lisa Becker
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Renee Greene – October 23, 2012 – 2:32 PM
To: cassidy
Cc: PBCupLover, Ashley Gordon, Mark Finlay, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Ghost of a chance…
That’s a pretty good yolk, Cassidy.
From: Ashley Gordon – October 23, 2012 – 3:13 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: PBCupLover, cassidy, Mark Finlay, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Ghost of a chance…
That cracks me up!
From: Renee Greene – October 23, 2012 – 4:42 PM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: PBCupLover, Mark Finlay, Shelley Manning, cassidy
Subject: Re: Ghost of a chance…
It all boils down to Ethan – king of puns.
From: PBCupLover – October 24, 2012 – 8:12 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: cassidy, Ashley Gordon, Mark Finlay, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Ghost of a chance…
Trying to think of a good egg pun is scrambling my brain.
From: Shelley Manning – October 24, 2012 – 8:59 AM
To: PBCupLover
Cc: Ashley Gordon, Mark Finlay, cassidy, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Ghost of a chance…
Have you been beaten, Ethan?
From: PBCupLover – October 24, 2012 – 12:32 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene, Cassidy, Ashley Gordon, Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Ghost of a chance…
No, just saying that my brain is starting to feel a little fried.
From: Shelley Manning – October 24, 2012 – 2:14 PM
To: PBCupLover
Cc: Ashley Gordon, Mark Finlay, cassidy, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Ghost of a chance…
Well, try looking on the sunny side. You always have nest time.
From: Renee Greene – October 24, 2012 – 2:25 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: PBCupLover, Ashley Gordon, Mark Finlay, cassidy
Subject: Re: Ghost of a chance…
With a little effort Ethan, I know you can hatch some good ones.
From: PBCupLover – October 24, 2012 – 3:15 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon, Mark Finlay, cassidy
Subject: Re: Ghost of a chance…
Tell me that ova and ova and maybe it will come true.
From: Ashley Gordon – October 24, 2012 – 5:07 PM
To: PBCupLover
Cc: Shelley Manning, Mark Finlay, cassidy, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Ghost of a chance…
Some of these puns have been really rotten.
From: Shelley Manning – October 25, 2012 – 8:25 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Mark Finlay, cassidy, Renee Greene PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Ghost of a chance…
Egg-actly! Hens-forth, I think we should avoid these types of discussions and get back to work.
From: Renee Greene – October 29, 2012 – 12:23 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Clock-sucker!
I hate clients!!!!! They are rude, selfish and belligerent. My client just YELLED at me, “Don’t tell me the time! Build me a watch!” What the hell does that mean?!?
From: PBCupLover – October 29, 2012 – 12:25 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
Time will tell.
From: Renee Greene – October 29, 2012 – 12:27 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
Seriously! No puns, please. I’m being serious. What does that mean? I don’t know what the hell he wants!!!!
From: PBCupLover – October 29, 2012 – 12:30 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
Calm down! Take a deep breath. I think he’s looking for you to create a process for him, rather than give him a result.
From: Renee Greene – October 29, 2012 – 12:33 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
Oh, I see. Tell me how to do it myself so that I can take all of the work in house and fire your agency’s ass. I’ll just suck all of the knowledge (and self-esteem) out of you for my own advantage (and sadism). Great! He really
is
a clock-sucker!
From: PBCupLover – October 29, 2012 – 12:40 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
Clearly, you are having a bad day. Can you go get some lunch away from the office?
From: Renee Greene – October 29, 2012 – 12:41 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
No. I have a meeting in 20 minutes. I’m going to the bathroom to cry.
From: PBCupLover – October 29, 2012 – 12:45 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
Don’t be silly! If I had a dollar for every time I’ve told you that you need to not to be emotional about work, I could quit this job and we could retire.
From: Renee Greene – October 29, 2012 – 12:51 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
Don’t tell me the time. Build me a damn clock. See what I did there? I turned it around on you. I may be an on-the-verge-of-tears mess right now, but I’m still mighty clever.
From: PBCupLover – October 29, 2012 – 12:56 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
I love that you are so invested in your professional reputation and take all of your client interaction so personally. It shows how much you care about doing your best. But to most people, all of this is just business. Not personal. They will never go home feeling bad about yelling at you, condemning your ideas, stealing your staff, etc. That’s business. You just need to go to work, do your best, and leave it all there on your desk when you go home.
From: Renee Greene – October 29, 2012 – 12:59 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
Much easier said than done. And for a girl who can talk a mile a minute, that’s sayin’ something, right? At least I have an amazing fiancé to come home to. Hopefully you’ll be there tonight (hint! hint!). Gotta run. Conference call with Mephistopheles, Beelzebub and Shemp (i.e. a combination of the clients from hell and Three Stooges) in three…two…one…
From: PBCupLover – October 29, 2012 – 1:00 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
Go kick some ass and then leave it at the office. Love you, Babe.
From: Renee Greene – October 29, 2012 – 1:01 PM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Clock-sucker!
:)
From: Greg Gordon – November 1, 2012 – 4:02 AM
To:
Subject: Arrival!!!!
Greg and Ashley Gordon are pleased to announce the arrival of Siobhan Emily Gordon, named in honor of my maternal grandmother Sandra and Ashley’s Aunt Edith. The little pumpkin was born Thursday, October 31 at 11:54 PM just in time for Halloween, weighing 6 pounds, 4 ounces and 21 inches long. Mommy and baby are doing great.
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 8:36 AM
To: Greg Gordon
Subject: Re: Arrival!!!!
I’ve never believed in love at first sight until now. She’s beautiful. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there! I thought most first pregnancies were late…not a week early. So give me details!
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 8:38 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Arrival!!!!
She really is beautiful. Amazing how two mildly-attractive people could produce such a gorgeous child.
From: PBCupLover – November 1, 2012 – 9:04 AM
To: Greg Gordon
Bcc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Arrival!!!!
There’s an old expression that babies are born knowing how to cry but someone has to teach them how to laugh. Lucky you. Enjoy!
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 9:06 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Arrival!!!!
That is so beautiful. You always have the perfect thing to say.
From: PBCupLover – November 1, 2012 – 9:07 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Arrival!!!!
To again take a page from the Renee Greene playbook,
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 9:08 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Arrival!!!!
LOL!
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 9:10 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Arrival!!!!
You are the devil!
From: Ashley Gordon – November 1, 2012 – 11:50 AM
To: Shelley Manning, Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Re: Arrival!!!!
Thank you, Shelley. That’s truly the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. I’m EXHAUSTED. Renee can fill you in on the delivery.
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 12:25 PM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Arrival!!!!
Ashley went into labor at around 9:00 in the morning. Like a smart girl, she called me immediately so I could activate the phone tree I set up for her. (Insert your sarcastic eye roll here, please.) Yes, I know that’s a bit “Mark-like” but, trust me, it was a life saver.
Anyway, we activated the phone tree. (Fine. I’ll allow one more eye roll!) Ashley’s folks, Greg’s folks and his brother, Mark and Cassidy, and of course Ethan, all showed up to the hospital. And then we waited. And waited. And waited. It seemed like FOREVER, but was actually about 14 hours.
She got an epidural about 10 hours in and proclaimed loudly, “god bless the anesthesiologist” after he delivered his magical elixir. Surprisingly, she only gave about 10 good pushes before Miss Siobhan arrived.
And Shel, the pictures just don’t do her justice. She’s so gorgeous! I whispered in her tiny ear, “Auntie Renee will be your favorite Auntie. If I have to buy your love, I will.” I swear, she smiled. Maybe it was gas. But I’m considering it a smile. Little Miss already knows where her bread is buttered.
From: Mark Finlay – November 1, 2012 – 1:30 PM
To: Greg Gordon
Cc: Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon, Renee Greene, cassidy, PBCupLover
Subject: CONGRATS!!!!
I can’t wait for Cass and I have to have a few of those of our own. Congrats again, guys.
From: cassidy – November 1, 2012 – 1:35 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Cc: Greg Gordon, Shelley Manning, Ashley Gordon, Renee Greene, PBCupLover
Subject: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
ditto!
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 2:20 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Gordon
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Arrival!!!!
Sounds fantastic. Again, so sorry to have missed it. I will be back into town in another day or two and will swing by your place to meet Siobhan. In the meantime, enjoy her!
What did you get as a push gift?
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 2:21 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Finnidy’s kids?!? GAG!
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 2:21 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Behave!
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 2:21 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Make me!
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 2:22 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Oh, don’t get me started!
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 2:22 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Oh, I’m getting you started!
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 2:22 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
I will make you!
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 2:22 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
I’d like to see you try!
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 2:23 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
I’ll do it.
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 2:23 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
You and what army?!
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 2:23 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Don’t make me come down there!
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 2:23 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Bring it!
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 2:23 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
What are we, seven?
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 2:24 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
I knew you’d blink first. I win! And if that makes me seven, so be it.
BTW, looking at the time stamp here, I notice what an incredibly fast typist you are. Why didn’t I know that before?
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 2:28 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Yes, I am a VERY fast typist. I tried out for the chorus in 9th grade and the choral teacher told me I had a “terrible voice.” As someone who has heard me sing (remember college karaoke?), you know what I mean.
I was devastated! All of the cool kids, who I desperately wanted to like me, were in chorus. I was forced to take…typing. Yes, typing! I officially learned the “a s d f j k l ;” style of typing. I got pretty good.
Clearly the teacher knew best, although at the time, it was tough pill to swallow.
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 2:35 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Another middle school indignity! Does this madness ever end? Well, leave it you to take lemons and add them to a beer.
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 2:37 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Adding a lemon to beer? If you did that, my heart would sing. But thankfully not my voice. Trust me. As we’ve just established, no one wants to hear that.
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 2:39 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
True! I have heard you sing on several occasions. Not to put salt in your wounds (I will save that for the margaritas we’ll make after our beers), but you are a bit wretched in the vocal talent department.
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 2:40 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Hey now! I wouldn’t go so far as to say “wretched.”
From: Shelley Manning – November 1, 2012 – 2:43 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
I love you, Sweetie…a ton! You’ve got SO many talents but singing just ain’t one of them. I’m surprised Cassidy hasn’t sent us a video of cats wailing after hearing you sing.
From: Renee Greene – November 1, 2012 – 2:45 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: CONGRATS!!!!
Only you could find a way to insult me (and yes, I
am
insulted) and laugh uncontrollably at the same time. I better get back to work. I’ve got a new biz pitch in New York on Monday and have lots to do. Call you later.
From: Ashley Gordon – November 1, 2012 – 10:12 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Arrival!!!!
Push gift?
From: Shelley Manning– November 2, 2012 – 9:11 AM
To: Ashley Gordon
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Re: Arrival!!!!
You know, a gift from the hubby for pushing the baby out.
From: Ashley Gordon – November 2, 2012 – 3:13 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Re: Arrival!!!!
The only things I got from pushing out Siobhan were hemorrhoids!
From: Shelley Manning– November 2, 2012 – 3:16 PM
To: Ashley Price
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Re: Arrival!!!!
I’d get pushy and demand some diamonds, girl!
From: Ashley Gordon – November 2, 2012 – 11:12 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Re: Arrival!!!!
Sounds like a great idea…once I have the energy to spare. Did I mention how EXHAUSTED I am? Goodnight all…or so I hope.
From: Renee Greene – November 3, 2012 – 1:15 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Life Advice
As you know I’m on my way to New York for a new business pitch on Monday. I’m sitting on the plane trying to avoid work when I came up with the brilliant idea to provide Siobhan with some life advice. You know, all of those little tips and tricks to make things easier. Might as well let my sweet angel learn from my experience. I’m planning to put it into a letter to her detailing how very much I love her. Here’s what I have so far. Anything to add?