The Christmas Tree Guy (26 page)

“Mother, there’s nothing to tell. Obviously, you’ve already made all of the assumptions and the judgments you could possibly make on my life. What more do you want me to say?”

“Sydnee, I am not judging you.”

“Oh really, Mother? Because it seems very judgmental when you say I’m making terrible decisions when it comes to raising my children.” Sydnee glared at Carroll with red-rimmed eyes.

“Sydnee, I am your mother. I just want what is best for you and the boys. Honey, I don’t want to see you hurt or with, with-”

“With what, Mother, a white man? You don’t even know Quinn. You saw the color of his skin and made assumptions like you always do.” Sydnee leaned over, knowing if she gripped the wooden rail any tighter, she’d end up with splinters.

“I know enough to know he cannot take care of you and my grandsons. He hasn’t the slightest clue. He is just fulfilling a fantasy.”
What is with this ‘fulfilling fantasies’ crap?

“Mother, you sound like Mina! I can’t believe you. You think all white people are racist when you are the one with the problem!” Carroll’s eyes widened and Sydnee knew she hit a sore spot. Her mother had seen the ugliness of racism firsthand. She was in one of the first classes of students to be integrated in her high school. The students were bused in and were met with many racial slurs and epithets on every turn. If they were athletes, their clothes were taken from lockers and destroyed with anything ranging from bleach to feces. Bus drivers called them horrible names, and on many occasions, intentionally left them or never showed up at their stops. Sydnee heard so many stories in her lifetime of the horrid way her mother and others were treated. Not being able to eat in certain restaurants or having to use separate restrooms and water fountains. It saddened her to think there were people who hated them just because of the color of their skin. Now all she wanted was for her mother to give Quinn a chance like she wished others would have given her mother.

“Call it what you want, Sydnee, but I’m not going to sit here and condone this. Why would you have some young white man around my grandsons filling their heads with things that aren’t beneficial to them? My goodness, he’s hardly older than they are.”

“What are you talking about?” Sydnee could feel her heart pulling in two different directions. She understood where her mother was coming from. It was a place of hurt and pain and unknowing. Carroll suffered from a constant replay of mental anguish. Sydnee knew it was painful for her. Carroll had told her, and there were many things she knew her mother hadn’t shared because of the intensity of the subject, and the inability to revisit the memories without breaking down. But, she wanted Quinn in her life. She wanted him to be in her children’s lives. He was different from anything she had ever experienced. He was good for her, and to her. Unlike any man she’d ever met. She just didn’t know how to get her mother to see it without feeling like she was betraying her. “You don’t know Quinn. You don’t know how wonderful he is to us.”

“Sydnee, would you listen to yourself? After all of the things I have told you. The things your family has gone through. Why would you be okay with this? Those boys need their father. They need to know Matt, and they need him to be the role model in their life. He’s a black man and he can teach them the things they need to know about becoming strong black men.” Carroll shook her head, crossing her arms in front of her and Sydnee could swear she saw tears in her mother’s eyes. It was heart wrenching to see her mother like this. Knowing the choice she was making to see Quinn was hurting her mother’s heart and soul.

“Mother, Matt left. He left us. I have been the one to have to tell them over and over again, it’s not their fault. I have been the one to have to be mommy and daddy.” Sydnee walked closer to her mother and looked into her soulful eyes, hoping Carroll could understand how much she wanted to be with Quinn, but didn’t want to hurt her. “Matt chose to leave and there is no way he could ever tell them anything. He would be more likely to teach them how to be a sorry excuse for a man, let alone a strong black man!” Her frustration got the best of her before she could rein in her words and her tone. She had never spoken to her mother in such a harsh manner and she was a bit shocked at her demeanor. Her mother’s eyes narrowed and she could tell Carroll was just as surprised as she was with the way Sydnee spoke.

“Matt is their father. He needs to be in their life. He needs to be the one teaching them the things they need to know.” Her mother’s calm but even tone let her know she was truly upset. Sydnee had never seen her mother’s eyes as serious as they were at the moment. “I don’t like this, Sydnee.”

“Mother, please understand. I wish Matt would step up and do the things he needs to do as a man and as their father, but he isn’t.” She paused for a moment and swallowed hard. “And as much as you want me to, I refuse to keep trying to get him to. I hope you can understand. I really do.”

“I will not, and I cannot, agree with this.” Carroll’s almond eyes contracted and Sydnee watched the frown lines deepen on her face. “You are making a huge mistake, Sydnee. I can’t go along with it. I am so disappointed in you.”

Sydnee’s mouth dropped as her mother turned, slid the glass door open, went in the house and shut the door with a loud thwack. She felt every inch of breath leave her body and she stood on the patio gasping for air. The woman she had looked up to her entire life, the woman she wanted so desperately to accept her for who she was and love her unconditionally was now even more disappointed in her. As if she hadn’t shed enough tears, the floodgates opened and her cheeks bristled as the moisture mixed with the cool night air.

###

“Quinn.”

Quinn turned to see his boss exiting the gym’s office, coming his way. “Hey, what’s up, Adam?”

“I’ve got something you have been waiting a long time for,” Adam said, handing Quinn a business card.

“What’s this?”

“Your dream job,” Adam answered, walking alongside Quinn to the locker room so he could put up his bag.

“My dream job, what are you talking about?” Quinn looked at the card and read the name. Looking at the card a little closer, he realized it was the card of the head of the training department for an NFL team in Florida. He looked up at Adam with a puzzled look on his face, and wondered why he was handing the card to him.

“I have a friend that wants to talk to you. He seems to have a position opening up on his staff and he’s looking for a trainer.”

“Are you serious?” Quinn swallowed hard as he stood staring in disbelief at Adam. “You are kidding me, right?”

“Look, I know you are happy here, Quinn. And I know you’ve been getting courted by a lot of organizations. But, he’s a good friend and I mentioned you to him. Plus, I told him what I’ve seen you do with some of the athletes here. He wants to meet you. It’s a great opportunity.”

“Wow, Adam, I don’t know what to say.” Quinn stood holding the card in his hand and trying to get his mind to catch up with the words Adam was saying. The job he had in Texas before had been a great opportunity, but it hadn’t ended well. He had gotten his life back in order and he was happy with it. Not to mention, he and Sydnee were making progress. At least he was hoping they were. She had finally let him spend time with her kids and, even though she was kind of forced to, her mother now knew about him. He also knew opportunities like this only come around once in a lifetime and he did want another shot at it. This was the NFL and they were calling him.

“Don’t say anything to me. Look, he’s in town for a couple of days. Give him a call so you guys can meet up and talk. Just check it out, find out if it’s something you would be interested in.” Quinn knew Adam was supportive of the trainers working for him and he had been especially supportive of Quinn. “Honestly, I
will
hate to see you go, but I know I can’t hold you here. You’ve got too much talent. Talk to him. See what you think.”

“I will. Thanks, Adam,” Quinn extended his hand to shake Adam’s.

“Hey, no thanks needed. Just remember me. Tickets, 50 yard-line, all right,” Adam laughed as he turned and pointed at Quinn, leaving him to get ready for his first client.

“Wow.” Quinn whispered to himself as he sank down onto the bench. He leaned forward, never able to take his eyes off of the card in his hand. His heart, which should be leaping out of his chest, was heavy. Adam was right; this was an opportunity of a lifetime. This wasn’t just a semi-pro team. It was the biggest sports stage in the country. It was everything he had ever dreamed of. This was a true career changer. It was also a relationship changer. He knew all too well from his past experience. He could apply for the job, but what would it do to his relationship with Sydnee? He and Lexie had imploded and they were living together at the time. What would something like this do to him and Sydnee if they were miles apart? There was no way he could take a job hundreds of miles away from the woman he was really starting to fall for. Especially now that he was getting closer to Charlie and Travis. He couldn’t possibly walk away from them and do what their father had done to them. He had known the pain all too well himself when his own father chose a job over him. He couldn’t do it too.

###

“Would you calm down?” Quinn grinned at Sydnee’s nervousness and he moved behind her to pull her into his arms. “It’s going to be fine.” He kissed her temple and released her so she could turn to look at him. He loved the way her eyes sparkled when she looked at him. It felt good knowing she cared as much about him as he did about her.

He watched her rubbing her hands together and he took them in his to stop her from rubbing every last piece of skin off. “How do you know that?”

“Because, I just know, okay?”

“She leaves in two days. Two days.” Quinn laughed at Sydnee repeating her ‘Mother is going home’ mantra as she busied herself in the kitchen. He decided to hold off on telling her about the job opportunity. She had enough stress on her as it was. Since her mother came to town, Sydnee was wound up and he couldn’t figure out how to get her to calm down. It probably wasn’t the right time to add his possible chance for a job hundreds of miles away.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Yes. As soon as she leaves.” Quinn thought about Sydnee’s phone call to him earlier and how, against her better judgment, she was going to try what he did with his mother. Of course it wouldn’t be nearly as many people since the rest of her family was in Atlanta. However, they would have a family dinner, and he could sit down with her and the kids so Carroll could see just how wonderful he was. Quinn was all for it. He knew if he just got the chance to talk to Carroll, then she would realize he wasn’t so bad. Plus, he loved spending as much time as he could with Sydnee and the twins. Now, they were in the middle of said family dinner, and Quinn felt like he had been on a witness stand with the amount of questions Carroll had directed at him. He thought he handled it fine. She was just like any other mother who wanted the best for her child as far as he could tell. Sydnee on the other hand, was a basket case. He had offered to help her with getting the dessert from the kitchen so he could make sure she was okay. “I’m just ready for this to end.”

“Syd, she is not that bad.”

“Whatever, Quinn. She had to have asked you more than fifty different questions. She didn’t even ask Matt that many questions when I first introduced them. It was like watching an episode of
Perry Mason
or something.”

“Perry who?”

“Oh, please, don’t remind me of how old I am. Never mind.” Reaching out, Quinn took her hand and squeezed it. He needed to figure out how to get her to relax and calm down enough to get through the rest of dinner. Her hands were shaking and he turned her to face him, taking one of her hands and placing it on his chest.

“I’m fine. See, I’m still in one piece. No harm, no foul.” Sydnee acted as if the
Great Wall of China
was about to fall on his head and he didn’t understand why she was as nervous as she was. Something else must be going on he wasn’t aware of and he worried maybe he had said something or done something wrong.

“I know. You have been so good about all of this.” She reached up, running her delicate hand across his face and he relished the feel of her skin on his. He could stand there looking in her eyes for the rest of the day if she would let him.

“I’m heading back in there. You need any help with anything?”

“No. This should be ready in a few. Just take this and some more ice.” She handed him the pitcher of iced tea and the ice bucket to head back to the dining room they never used except for when her mother came. Quinn winked at Sydnee before walking into the dining room to find Carroll talking to the boys.

“Where’s Sydnee?”

“She’s finishing up in the kitchen.” Quinn gestured to Carroll’s glass to see if she wanted more tea. She quickly shook her head and he noticed her recline in her chair. One finely pressed leg crossed over the other and her arms followed suit. She sat watching him like a hawk.

“Nana, can we go watch cartoons?”

“Travis, that’s fine sweetheart, and it’s ‘may we’, okay?” Her face lightened for a moment as she turned graciously to her grandsons.

“Okay.” He hopped down from his place at the table along with Charlie. They were just about to take off running down the hallway, when both looked over to see the disapproving glare of their grandmother and they walked quickly out of the room.