The Christmas Tree Guy (22 page)

“Why should I?”

“Syd, please, just give me a chance to explain? All I want is a chance to give you my side of the story. If, afterwards, you don’t want to talk to me, then I will have to accept that.” Standing with her hands clasped in front of her, she figured she would hear him out and then never see him again. At least in her mind it was an easy plan. Seeing him now with his hair playfully tousled, eyes shimmering like crystals in the moonlight and that damned dimple enticing her each time he smiled, wasn’t playing into her plan.
Listen to him and leave. You can do this.
“You look great.”

“Thanks,” she offered curtly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. It never failed. He had a way of looking at her and making her insides feel like she’d swallowed a box of
Alka-Seltzer
. Everything from the inside out tingled and she took a deep breath trying to concentrate on anything but his eyes.

“Syd, I’m sorry. I should have told my mom about you.”

“You think?” Sydnee closed the door and leaned against the car with her head tilted to the side, her eyes peeking out from underneath the baseball cap she wore.

“I had my reasons.”

“And what were those reasons, Quinn? I mean, you said you were open and honest with your mom about everything and you two were close? I thought I meant something to you.” She had played the run-in with his mom over and over in her head and still couldn’t understand why he chose to keep her a secret.

“You do mean everything to me.” He took a few steps closer and looked in her eyes.

“Quinn, I can only imagine you didn’t tell her about us because you’re ashamed of being with me.” She trailed off feeling tears pinch the edges of her eyes. She figured it was the reason, but she didn’t want to face it. She wanted to believe the people closest to them would be supportive of their relationship, but it wasn’t true. Hell, wasn’t it the reason she hadn’t told her own mother?

“No. That is not it.” Quinn reached for her hand that she reluctantly allowed him to take and caress in his much larger one. “I could never be ashamed of you or being with you. I don’t care who knows it.”

“Yeah, right. You don’t mind the public knowing, but you are keeping it a secret from the one person that means the most to you. Your mother.” He lowered his head to look at his hand wrapped around hers. She wasn’t sure, but looking at him, she could swear he was dealing with much more than he was letting on.

“Syd, my mom still looks at me like I’m her little boy. No matter how many times I tell her I am a grown man and I can take care of myself. I can make decisions for myself. I didn’t tell her because I knew she would just start in on me about it.”

“Why, Quinn?” Syd looked around quickly before her eyes met his. “Because I’m black?”

“No. My mom is not hung up on race or anything like that. She is just really protective and she thinks I can’t handle a mature relationship.”

“Why? Why would she feel that way about you?”

“Because of some things in my past. I didn’t handle them quite the right way and she’s just trying to make sure I don’t go down the same path.” He watched her from hooded eyes and she knew he had something on his mind.

“What ‘things’ are you talking about?” Sydnee’s voice softened. She still cared for Quinn and she missed him more than a little bit. Seeing him struggling with his past, she wanted to know, but she was a little scared of what it could be.

“I told you that when I got out of school I spent some time as a trainer.” He started, and she nodded, remembering. “Well, that job was with a semi-pro football team. I was also in a pretty serious relationship.”

“How serious?”

“We were going to get married,” he answered softly.

“Oh, wow.” Sydnee wasn’t quite sure what to say. She hadn’t been ready for him to say he had been engaged. That
was
a pretty serious relationship. “What happened?” Quinn shrugged and exhaled. She could see the hesitation in his face and it made her nervous to think there must be something much bigger going on.

“I was working a ton. Trying my best to balance a home life and work life. In a way I guess I was trying to make sure I didn’t do what my dad had done. Putting a job before the people I loved. I didn’t want to neglect Lexie, but I wanted to be successful. A position like that could lead to so many different things and could be a real career changer.” He paused and she nodded, wanting him to continue. “I was spending a lot of time with the other trainers and making sure I was learning everything I could. Anyway, we had a long road trip and I knew I had not been spending as much time with Lexie as usual, so I decided to surprise her and come home a day early.” Quinn let her hand go and shoved his hands into his pockets. She could see him replaying the pain over in his mind and it hurt her to see the anguish in his face.

“She must have been happy to know you came home early just for her.”

“She probably would have if she had been alone. But instead of me surprising her, she surprised me. I found her in bed with someone else.” Sydnee gasped and her eyes widened. She was not expecting to hear he had been engaged, but she truly wasn’t expecting to hear his fiancée cheated on him.

“Wow. That’s why your mom doesn’t want you to rush into a new relationship. She doesn’t want you to get hurt again.”

“That, and she doesn’t want me to get another assault charge and have my dad bail me out to tell me ‘I told you so,’” he added. His head dropped and she stood there, trying to take it all in.

“An assault charge?” Sydnee asked softly. She really hoped she had heard him wrong.

“Yeah.” He added quietly. “When you catch your fiancée in bed with another man, it’s kind of hard to keep your fist from smashing the guy’s face.”

“Uh, I guess so.” Sydnee looked down at her hands and thought about it. Matt had left her for another woman. But she wasn’t sure what she would have done if she had actually caught him in bed with her. Especially in their house. She may have had an assault charge or something worse. “I can see why your mom would have reservations about us.”

“About me with any woman at this point,” Quinn added with a grimace.

“But, Quinn, you are so close to your mom. Don’t you think it’s going to be even harder for us to have a productive relationship if you couldn’t tell her about me? The last thing I want to do is come between the two of you.” Sydnee asked softly, training her eyes on him.

“Hey pot, have you met kettle?” Quinn straightened, looking at her with serious eyes. “You haven’t exactly told your mom about me either, have you?”

Realizing how big of a hypocrite she really was as soon as the words passed over his lips, Sydnee sighed. “You are right,” she replied softly, looking down at the asphalt. “If neither of us can tell our mothers about each other, what does that say for us? For this relationship?”

“I think,” he started, taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently as she lifted her expressive eyes to meet his. “It means both of us really care about each other’s feelings. Syd, I don’t want to hurt you, or lose you. I only hope you can forgive me for not telling my mom about you and for not telling you everything about my past?”

“Quinn-”

“Please?” His pleas played a symphony on her heartstrings and she paused. She still felt uneasy about their future, especially now after hearing everything he had gone through, but she realized she really didn’t want to give him up either.

Lifting her hand to stroke his cheek as he leaned into her warm palm, she smiled. “Yes, I forgive you. I just don’t know where we go from here.”

“Well, I think I know a good place to start,” he grinned, and she wondered exactly what he had on his mind.

###

“Sydnee, how did you meet Quinn?” his Aunt Margo asked as Sydnee stood with one of Quinn’s cousins at the counter washing lettuce and cutting tomatoes for the salad. Quinn’s idea for a good place to start ended up being a family dinner at his Uncle Jack’s. She was as nervous as a hooker in the back pew of a southern Baptist church. She held a vice grip on his hand as they first walked into the house, but his family had allayed all of her worries, and each one seemed to welcome her with open arms. She was put to work in the kitchen with the women as the men were shooed out to set the table in the dining room.

“We actually met at the tree lot. He delivered our Christmas tree for us.” She smiled, thinking back to the first night they met and how nice he was to help her and the boys get the tree home. The response was met with smiles, laughs and a few ‘that’s Quinn,’ and she looked over to see Janae and Margo both grinning.

“Oh, yes, Jack mentioned it when it happened. I forgot all about that,” Margo added, as she went back to filling glasses with ice.

“He did us a huge favor delivering the tree even though I knew it wasn’t something the lot did.” Sydnee added.

Janae giggled and moved over to chop carrots beside her. “That’s my son. Has a heart the size of the ocean.”

“He does,” Sydnee agreed. The group of women continued to talk and chat about work and current events, and Sydnee listened to them laugh and joke about other family get-togethers and the kids as they had grown up. She learned so much about Quinn and his family and how close they all were. It was a nice atmosphere and they never made her feel unwelcome or uncomfortable at all. She was pleasantly surprised. She’d been in situations before where she was the only black person in a room full of white people and there was always the feeling either she, or they, would say something to make the other uneasy. But Quinn’s family was different and she was starting to understand more and more how he had become the man he was. During dinner, she listened to the banter between them and laughed more than she had in years.

After dinner, she found herself standing on the patio with Janae as a few of the others cleaned the kitchen. The nerves returned and she wasn’t sure how their conversation may go.

“Sydnee, I hope you enjoyed yourself.”

“I did. Thank you for having me, Ms…uh, Janae.” She paused remembering how the woman insisted she use her first name when they were officially introduced that evening. “I have to admit, I was a little nervous about coming tonight.”

“Oh?”

“Well, based off the way we first met…” Sydnee could feel the color rushing to her face as she thought about her scantily clad appearance in Quinn’s kitchen.

Janae laughed and nodded, patting Sydnee’s shoulder. “Believe me, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Contrary to what it seems like and what Quinn may tell you, I do realize he’s a grown man.”

“He said you still think of him as your little boy,” Sydnee added as they stood talking. Quinn and JJ and two of their cousins and uncle were watching a basketball game. Aunt Margo and the girls had pushed both Janae and Sydnee out of the kitchen while they cleaned up. “Janae you cooked the majority of the meal and Sydnee, you’re still a guest on your first visit,” Margo said. Sydnee grinned, feeling sure Margo wasn’t opposed to her making future visits.

“I do love him. He’s my baby. But you understand that, with two boys of your own.”

Sydnee nodded. “Yes I do. I’m sure that’s not something you are too happy about with Quinn seeing me,” she added, watching Janae closely as the woman sat in the patio swing.

“Sydnee, I’d be lying if I told you it wasn’t something I was concerned about, but not for the reasons you may be thinking.” Janae answered as Sydnee’s brows furrowed and she walked over to join the woman.

“What do you mean?”

“There are so many things I want Quinn to experience and to have. So many things I know he wants. I’m just not sure you both would want them.” Sydnee took a moment trying to figure out Janae’s cryptic response. “Sydnee, your boys are pretty important to you right?” Sydnee nodded as the thoughts of Charlie and Travis flashed in her mind.

“They are my world.”

“Exactly. When Quinn’s father and I divorced, he became the center of my universe. I know Quinn. I know one day he’s going to want a family. Want to be a dad. You already have two kids. Are you willing to have more?”

Sydnee looked down at her hands clasped in her lap. She had loved the baby stage with the twins. Their dependency on her and watching them grow and learn, but she had to admit, having to wake up in the middle of the night, diaper changes and spit up were things she didn’t miss at all. The idea of starting all over again and at an advanced age was something she had not really wanted to do. Did she? “I’m not sure.”

“Sydnee, I’m not trying to dissuade you from dating Quinn. Honestly, I think you are a wonderful person now that I’ve gotten the chance to know you. You have your head on straight and I’m glad Quinn met you and is spending time with you. But what I do worry about is Quinn getting the chance to realize his dreams. One of which is being a trainer for a pro team. I’m guessing he told you about Lexie, right?”

“He did.” The tenderness in Janae’s eyes let Sydnee know she wasn’t trying to keep her and Quinn apart. She was genuinely worried about her son and his future, and Sydnee couldn’t blame her. She would be just as protective of Charlie and Travis.

“Quinn is a go-getter and anything he does, he dedicates 110% to it. So, when his relationship with Lexie imploded, I saw him broken. A shell of the man I knew him to be. And I don’t want to see that happen to him again. He’s finally getting back to his old self.”