Authors: Mary Ting
Chapter 35
I got into the shower sluggishly and let the water pour down on me. Seeing steam rise, I could safely guess it was really hot. My body still felt too heavy for me, and every step and breath I took required a lot of effort. Though water had no effect on my eyes, they burned from all the crying. I had to snap out of it. Eli needed me. How could I be the demon hunter I was trained to be if I couldn’t control my grief?
Just today
.
I need today.
My human half controlled me, and I would let it have the upper hand just for the day.
I had no idea if Eli lived, but I had to believe it. Now I understood what losing someone you truly cared about felt like. Being stabbed with a dagger was a physical pain that could be endured, but internal pain was cruel and deadly. It ate at you. It pinned you to the wall. It swallowed you up and made you feel so empty, alone and cold, and physically weighed you down.
I pressed my face into my palms to muffle the noise as I sobbed into them again. I didn’t want Zach and Uncle Davin to guess my misery. Trembling, as tears continued to fall, I poured out anguish, and disgust at myself for being so weak...until there was nothing left. The cry wasn’t just for Eli being captured. It was an overwhelming feeling that came crashing through. Being a demon hunter and trying to be human at the same time was too much to handle. It was difficult to distinguish who I was. Finding the middle ground was harder than I had thought possible.
After a while, with no more tears left to shed, I heaved in and out, staring down to collect myself as the water disappeared down the drain. It was time to be strong—to put aside the human teenage girl and be the Venator I was destined to be. Getting out of the shower, I changed into something comfortable and leaned against the wall, listening to Zach and my uncle’s conversation.
“I didn’t know how much she cared for Eli,” Zach whispered. “This is all my fault. I’m her twin. I should have seen this coming.”
“You couldn’t see it coming.” I heard a soft sigh from my uncle. “I bet Lucia didn’t see it coming either. Love just hits you. Well, first it’s lust and then it sometimes changes to love. But I don’t think she knows what love feels like, unless it’s too late. Ohhh, Cracker Jacks. I’m going to hear it from your father. And why Eli? Did it have to be a demon?”
“Not all demons are bad, Uncle,” Zach stressed.
“I know, but you’re not supposed to—I mean, it’s very frowned upon. Angels don’t fall in love, except for your parents...so it’s their fault. It’s in your genes. You are part human, after all.” Uncle Davin puffed an exaggerated sigh.
I tiptoed the best I could, but I knew their angel hearing would pick up on the creaking sound of the wooden floor. “I’m not in love,” I stressed, standing firm to my words.
“Lucia.” Uncle Davin gathered me in his arms. I rested my head on his shoulder and drew comfort from his hug.
After a deep breath, I pulled back to smile at him. “I like him. I mean, he’s very nice to me. We’re very good friends. We’ve shared a lot of things. That’s what friends do, right?” Every word that came out of my mouth was true, but the thoughts of him said otherwise. He meant more to me than just a friend. The butterflies in my stomach and the pain I endured at the sound of his name confirmed that.
My uncle patted my back. “I will never understand teens. Please don’t tell me you kissed him.”
I kept quiet.
“Ohhh, silence means...Cracker Jacks.” My uncle’s hold on me tightened, like he wanted to strangle me.
“What does ‘Cracker Jacks’ mean?” Zach’s eyes seemed riveted on my uncle’s teeth grinding and fuming expression.
“It’s a delicious blend of caramel-coated popcorn and peanuts that has become another favorite of mine. But”—he squeezed me tighter—“it also sounds like something I want to say, sort of. It rolls off my tongue forcibly, like when I want to say holy crap or shit.” His tone got louder. “And, Lucia, I’m so glad you’re safe, but you are grounded for life when this is over.”
With one last squeeze, he stormed to his room without making eye contact.
“Well, that went well, don’t you think?” Zach sighed.
He tried to make me feel better, but it didn’t work. “Want to sit on the roof with me?” I tilted my head.
“Sure.” Zach wrapped his arms around me, guiding me out the back door.
We jumped onto the roof and sat in our usual spot. We sat side by side with our knees tucked to our chests and our arms were behind us for support. I inhaled the air I needed so badly, but no amount of air would be enough.
It was way past midnight and everyone was asleep. The roads were dark and carless, and not a sound of a living soul echoed in the night. It all felt dead, like me.
“I’m sorry, Lucia. I said I would be there for you, to help you not be persuaded by human emotions, and I failed.”
“You did everything right, Zach. You are the best brother anyone could have. You’ve always been there for me, but you can’t be there every step of my life. I’m responsible for my own actions. I didn’t plan to have feelings for Eli. I didn’t want it. But it happened. I don’t think you can control something like that, or even fight it. It takes you over completely; you can’t live without it. It becomes your breath of life.”
I kept my eyes on the dark clouds shifting slowly against the breeze. They reminded me of Eli in his demon form. Everything reminded me of Eli, even the smell of sweet coconut in my nostrils.
I sighed and continued, “I understand why humans crave this feeling. Why some people fight for it. After all, it is the essence needed to breed, I suppose. That’s what humans are supposed to do, fill the land with love. I know we can’t be together. And when this is all over, I’ll be back in Crossroads and he’ll be here. I just want to make sure he’s fine before we’re sent back. Yes, I know my heart will be broken, but I’ll be fine as long as we’re fine...” I mumbled Eli’s words to myself, “...as long as we’re both under the same stars.”
“Here.” Zach put out his hand.
My eyes zoomed in on the necklace Eli had gifted me—the one Clarissa had ripped off my neck. I stared at it to make sure it was real. “Thank you. How did you...?” I couldn’t finish my question. I picked it up and rubbed the delicate crystal as if I could touch Eli. Tears stung my eyes and I bit my tongue, desperate to hold them back.
I will not cry. I will be strong.
Zach focused on a nearby tree, trying to avoid my eyes. I was making him emotional. I knew he didn’t like seeing me in despair. Zach smacked his lips and spoke, “From my understanding, Cyrus couldn’t touch it or he would have yanked it off you himself, so he ordered Clarissa to do it. But when she touched it, it burned her. I saw her expression and how quickly she let go of it. I found it before we left the field.”
“Thank you for searching for it,” I gazed at it again.
“I knew it meant a lot to you. Anyway”—Zach stood up and stretched his arms and wings—“I’m going to go back inside. I have so much homework, not that it will matter anyhow. I just don’t want to fail. It’s my pride.”
Zach seemed grand and larger than life when he slowly spread his wings like that. I wondered if Eli saw my wings that way now. He’d grimaced and complained that I had wings before. But I understood why.
The girl with wings will be his destruction.
His mother’s words repeated in my mind. He should have listened to her.
“I’ll join you soon. I just want to sit here for a bit.”
He folded his wings to close them. “Uncle Davin is going to speak to Father tomorrow. It’s not like the missions we’ve had before. It’s so much”—Zach paused, trying to think of the word, but he could only say—“bigger.” Though he tried to hide it, his eyes didn’t lie. He was terrified.
“I know.” I agreed as my muscles tightened at the thought. Having Father with us would be a good and bad thing. He would learn I had let myself become attached to Eli. And Jack too—the one I could truly call my friend. The one who taught me the meaning of friendship.
Zach released a long breath. I realized his concern through his words, but he had a better grip on pretending to be human than me. “Don’t be too long or I’ll have to come get you.”
When Zach left, I stood up to see if I could see Jack. He must be feeling terrible. It wasn’t his fault Eli was captured, but a part of me couldn’t help the anger lingering inside. If only Abel and Jack had refused to help Eli execute his plan. There were a lot of if-onlys.
Uncle Davin had made sure our plan was simple and safe. Give the fake paper to Cyrus. While he’s using the true-cross dagger, we would use the necklace crystals to contain him. And Uncle Davin would retrieve the dagger. Meanwhile, everyone else’s job was to keep his demons far away from us, along with bringing the edelweiss flowers gifted by Lana. Uncle Davin had discovered she grew them in a special cold incubator in her garage. Everything would have worked if it hadn’t been for...but I couldn’t be sure. There were so many unexpected turns.
Since it seemed as though Jack was asleep, I decided to head back inside. I froze at the sensation of a presence and a sweet coconut scent moved around me, stronger than a few minutes ago.
“Eli?” My lips quivered.
Could it be?
My heart raced with joy for that split second until I realized...he wasn’t there. He was locked up, who knew where. I didn’t want to think about how much he was suffering, so I closed my eyes and inhaled a deep breath.
Maybe I wanted him there with me safe and sound so badly that I felt him, but something
was
happening. When I opened my eyes, I saw a thin black translucent vapor coiled around my legs, traveling up to my chest, and snaking around my arm that held the necklace. It wouldn’t stop making circles around my fist. When I opened my hand, it stopped. The necklace floated to my neck and somehow clasped together.
“I told you to keep it on at all times. What do I have to do to make you listen to me?” It was Eli’s voice. My heart galloped like Midnight racing for the finish line. Surely it was a hallucination, but how had my necklace moved by itself? Was I delusional?
As if he could read my mind, he spoke, “It’s me, Lucia. I’m here. I’m astral traveling, but I can’t hold on. I’m weak.”
“Eli.” I clamped my hands to my mouth to keep from squealing out loud. Tears that had threatened to fall came pouring down. For those few precious seconds, I was so happy and relieved. I didn’t know what condition he was in, but he was alive and that was all that mattered.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” I didn’t know what to ask. There was so much I wanted to know. “Where are you? Can you tell me where you are?”
Eli glimmered in and out of my vision. He stood in front of me, though I knew he wasn’t really there. I wanted to hold him, touch him. I wanted to kiss him.
“I have to make this quick. I’ll try my best to come when Cyrus is away or when I regain my strength. I don’t know where I am. Your best bet might be to find Vince and someone named Mortem.”
“That’s what Abel said,” I muttered and then froze. Mortem was that cruel Fallen we had encountered before. I’d hoped to never see him again, but now it seemed inevitable.
“Don’t be mad at Abel,” Eli continued, breaking my thoughts of Mortem. “This isn’t his fault. We are friends again, sort of, thanks to you, but I still wouldn’t trust him completely. He can explain more in detail. But I needed to see you. God, I miss you, Lucia. Thoughts of you are the only thing holding me together.”
I reached out my hands, trying to touch Eli, but as expected, my hands blended with his entity as he faded.
No, don’t leave.
I didn’t want to let him go, but I knew there was no choice.
“I’m going to find you,” I said with conviction as more tears streamed down my face.
“I know. Don’t cry, Lucia. It hurts to see you cry.”
“Promise me. Stay alive. Do whatever you need to do to stay alive.” My tone was desperate, pleading.
“For you, I will...my girl with wings.” His tender voice softly vibrated through my mind, but I felt it in every space of my heart.
The last thing I felt was Eli’s caress on my face. Though his lips never touched mine, I sensed it. Then, like dew under the morning sun, he disappeared.
Continue the story:
The Blessed Knights, to be released
October 26, 2016