“What?” yelped Fats, and Andrew saw that he was genuinely outraged. “Fuck off! Sukhvinder Jawanda.”
“Oh, yeah. Right.”
Andrew laughed, and so, a beat later, did Fats.
The bus into Yarvil was crowded; Andrew and Fats had to sit next to each other, rather than in two double seats, as they preferred. As they passed the end of Hope Street, Andrew glanced along it, but it was deserted. He had not run into Gaia outside school since the afternoon when they had both secured Saturday jobs at the Copper Kettle. The café would open the following weekend; he experienced waves of euphoria every time he thought of it.
“Si-Pie’s election campaign on track, is it?” asked Fats, busy making roll-ups. One long leg was stuck out at an angle into the aisle of the bus; people were stepping over it rather than asking him to move. “Cubby’s cacking it already, and he’s only making his pamphlet.”
“Yeah, he’s busy,” said Andrew, and he bore without flinching a silent eruption of panic in the pit of his stomach.
He thought of his parents at the kitchen table, as they had been, nightly, for the past week; of a box of stupid pamphlets Simon had had printed at work; of the list of talking points Ruth had helped Simon compile, which he used as he made telephone calls, every evening, to every person he knew within the electoral boundary. Simon did all of it with an air of immense effort. He was tightly wound at home, displaying heightened aggression towards his sons; he might have been shouldering a burden that they had shirked. The only topic of conversation at meals was the election, with Simon and Ruth speculating about the forces ranged against Simon. They took it very personally that other candidates were standing for Barry Fairbrother’s old seat, and seemed to assume that Colin Wall and Miles Mollison spent most of their time plotting together, staring up at Hilltop House, focused entirely on defeating the man who lived there.
Andrew checked his pocket again for the folded paper. He had not told Fats what he intended to do. He was afraid that Fats might broadcast it; Andrew was not sure how to impress upon his friend the necessity for absolute secrecy, how to remind Fats that the maniac who had made little boys piss themselves was still alive and well, and living in Andrew’s house.
“Cubby’s not too worried about Si-Pie,” said Fats. “He thinks the big competition is Miles Mollison.”
“Yeah,” said Andrew. He had heard his parents discussing it. Both of them seemed to think that Shirley had betrayed them; that she ought to have forbidden her son from challenging Simon.
“This is a holy fucking crusade for Cubby, y’know,” said Fats, rolling a cigarette between forefinger and thumb. “He’s picking up the regimental flag for his fallen comrade. Ole Barry Fairbrother.”
He poked strands of tobacco into the end of the roll-up with a match.
“Miles Mollison’s wife’s got gigantic tits,” said Fats.
An elderly woman sitting in front of them turned her head to glare at Fats. Andrew began to laugh again.
“Humongous bouncing jubblies,” Fats said loudly, into the scowling, crumpled face. “Great big juicy double-F mams.”
She turned her red face slowly to face the front of the bus again. Andrew could barely breathe.
They got off the bus in the middle of Yarvil, near the precinct and main pedestrian-only shopping street, and wove their way through the shoppers, smoking Fats’ roll-ups. Andrew had virtually no money left: Howard Mollison’s wages would be very welcome.
The bright-orange sign of the Internet café seemed to blaze at Andrew from a distance, beckoning him on. He could not concentrate on what Fats was saying.
Are you going to?
he kept asking himself.
Are you going to?
He did not know. His feet kept moving, and the sign was growing larger and larger, luring him, leering at him.
If I find out you’ve breathed a word about what’s said in this house, I’ll skin you alive.
But the alternative…the humiliation of having Simon show what he was to the world; the toll it would take on the family when, after weeks of anticipation and idiocy, he was defeated, as he must be. Then would come rage and spite, and a determination to make everybody else pay for his own lunatic decisions. Only the previous evening Ruth had said brightly, “The boys will go through Pagford and post your pamphlets for you.” Andrew had seen, in his peripheral vision, Paul’s look of horror and his attempt to make eye contact with his brother.
“I wanna go in here,” mumbled Andrew, turning right.
They bought tickets with codes on them, and sat down at different computers, two occupied seats apart. The middle-aged man on Andrew’s right stank of body odor and old fags, and kept sniffing.
Andrew logged onto the Internet, and typed in the name of the website: Pagford…Parish…Council…dot…co…dot…uk…
The home page bore the council arms in blue and white, and a picture of Pagford that had been taken from a point close to Hilltop House, with Pargetter Abbey silhouetted against the sky. The site, as Andrew already knew, from looking at it on a school computer, looked dated and amateurish. He had not dared go near it on his own laptop; his father might be immensely ignorant about the Internet, but Andrew did not rule out the possibility that Simon might find somebody at work who could help him investigate, once the thing was done…
Even in this bustling anonymous place, there was no avoiding the fact that today’s date would be on the posting, or of pretending that he had not been in Yarvil when it happened; but Simon had never visited an Internet café in his life, and might not be aware that they existed.
The rapid contraction of Andrew’s heart was painful. Swiftly, he scrolled down the message board, which did not seem to enjoy a lot of traffic. There were threads entitled:
refuse collection — a Query
and
school catchment areas in Crampton and Little manning?
Every tenth entry or so was a posting from the Administrator, attaching Minutes of the Last Council Meeting. Right at the bottom of the page was a thread entitled:
Death of Cllr Barry Fairbrother
. This had received 152 views and forty-three responses. Then, on the second page of the message board, he found what he hoped to find: a post from the dead man.
A couple of months previously, Andrew’s computing set had been supervised by a young supply teacher. He had been trying to look cool, trying to get the class onside. He shouldn’t have mentioned SQL injections at all, and Andrew was quite sure that he had not been the only one who went straight home and looked them up. He pulled out the piece of paper on which he had written the code he had researched in odd moments at school, and brought up the log-in page on the council website. Everything hinged on the premise that the site had been set up by an amateur a long time ago; that it had never been protected from the simplest of classical hacks.
Carefully, using only his index finger, he input the magic line of characters.
He read them through twice, making sure that every apostrophe was where it should be, hesitated for a second on the brink, his breathing shallow, then pressed return.
He gasped, as gleeful as a small child, and had to fight the urge to shout out or punch the air. He had penetrated the tin-pot site at his first attempt. There, on the screen in front of him, were Barry Fairbrother’s user details: his name, his password, his entire profile.
Andrew smoothed out the magic paper he had kept under his pillow all week, and set to work. Typing up his next paragraph, with its many crossings out and reworkings, was a much more laborious process.
He had been trying for a style that was as impersonal and impenetrable as possible; for the dispassionate tone of a broadsheet journalist.
Aspiring Parish Councillor Simon Price hopes to stand on a platform of cutting wasteful council spending. Mr. Price is certainly no stranger to keeping down costs, and should be able to give the council the benefit of his many useful contacts. He saves money at home by furnishing it with stolen goods — most recently a PC — and he is the go-to man for any cut-price printing jobs that may need doing for cash, once senior management has gone home, at the Harcourt-Walsh Printworks.
Andrew read the message through twice. He had been over it time and again in his mind. There were many accusations he could have leveled at Simon, but the court did not exist in which Andrew could have laid the real charges against his father, in which he would have presented as evidence memories of physical terror and ritual humiliation. All he had were the many petty infractions of the law of which he had heard Simon boast, and he had selected these two specific examples — the stolen computer and the out-of-hours printing jobs done on the sly — because both were firmly connected to Simon’s workplace. People at the printer’s knew that Simon did these things, and they could have talked to anybody: their friends, their families.
His guts were juddering, the way they did when Simon truly lost control and laid about anyone within reach. Seeing his betrayal in black and white on the screen was terrifying.
“What the fuck are you doing?” asked Fats’ quiet voice in his ear.
The stinking, middle-aged man had gone; Fats had moved up; he was reading what Andrew had written.
“Fucking hell,” said Fats.
Andrew’s mouth was dry. His hand lay quiescent on the mouse.
“How’d you get in?” Fats whispered.
“SQL injection,” said Andrew. “It’s all on the Net. Their security’s shit.”
Fats looked exhilarated; wildly impressed. Andrew was half pleased, half scared, by the reaction.
“You’ve gotta keep this to —”
“Lemme do one about Cubby!”
“No!”
Andrew’s hand on the mouse skidded away from Fats’ reaching fingers. This ugly act of filial disloyalty had sprung from the primordial soup of anger, frustration and fear that had slopped inside him all his rational life, but he knew no better way to convey this to Fats than by saying, “I’m not just having a laugh.”
He read the message through a third time, then added a title to the message. He could feel Fats’ excitement beside him, as if they were having another porn session. Andrew was seized by a desire to impress further.
“Look,” he said, and he changed Barry’s username to The_Ghost_of_Barry_Fairbrother.
Fats laughed loudly. Andrew’s fingers twitched on the mouse. He rolled it sideways. Whether he would have gone through with it if Fats had not been watching, he would never know. With a single click, a new thread appeared at the top of the Pagford Parish Council message board:
Simon Price Unfit to Stand for Council.
Outside on the pavement, they faced each other, breathless with laughter, slightly overawed by what had happened. Then Andrew borrowed Fats’ matches, set fire to the piece of paper on which he had drafted the message, and watched it disintegrate into fragile black flakes, which drifted onto the dirty pavement and vanished under passing feet.
Andrew left Yarvil at half past three, to be sure of getting back to Hilltop House before five. Fats accompanied him to the bus stop and then, apparently on a whim, told Andrew that he thought he would stay in town for a bit, after all.
Fats had made a loose arrangement to meet Krystal in the shopping center. He strolled back towards the shops, thinking about what Andrew had done in the Internet café, and trying to disentangle his own reactions.
He had to admit that he was impressed; in fact, he felt somewhat upstaged. Andrew had thought the business through, and kept it to himself, and executed it efficiently: all of this was admirable. Fats experienced a twinge of pique that Andrew had formulated the plan without saying a word to him, and this led Fats to wonder whether, perhaps, he ought not to deplore the undercover nature of Andrew’s attack on his father. Was there not something slippery and over-sophisticated about it; would it not have been more authentic to threaten Simon to his face or to take a swing at him?
Yes, Simon was a shit, but he was undoubtedly an authentic shit; he did what he wanted, when he wanted, without submitting to societal constraints or conventional morality. Fats asked himself whether his sympathies ought not to lie with Simon, whom he liked entertaining with crude, crass humor focused mainly on people making tits of themselves or suffering slapstick injuries. Fats often told himself that he would rather have Simon, with his volatility, his unpredictable picking of fights — a worthy opponent, an engaged adversary — than Cubby.
On the other hand, Fats had not forgotten the falling tin of creosote, Simon’s brutish face and fists, the terrifying noise he had made, the sensation of hot wet piss running down his own legs, and (perhaps most shameful of all) his wholehearted, desperate yearning for Tessa to come and take him away to safety. Fats was not yet so invulnerable that he was unsympathetic to Andrew’s desire for retribution.
So Fats came full circle: Andrew had done something daring, ingenious and potentially explosive in its consequences. Again Fats experienced a small pang of chagrin that it had not been he who had thought of it. He was trying to rid himself of his own acquired middle-class reliance on words, but it was difficult to forgo a sport at which he excelled, and as he trod the polished tiles of the shopping center forecourt, he found himself turning phrases that would blow Cubby’s self-important pretensions apart and strip him naked before a jeering public…
He spotted Krystal among a small crowd of Fields kids, grouped around the benches in the middle of the thoroughfare between shops. Nikki, Leanne and Dane Tully were among them. Fats did not hesitate, nor appear to gather himself in the slightest, but continued to walk at the same speed, his hands in his pockets, into the battery of curious critical eyes, raking him from the top of his head to his trainers.
“All righ’, Fatboy?” called Leanne.
“All right?” responded Fats. Leanne muttered something to Nikki, who cackled. Krystal was chewing gum energetically, color high in her cheeks, throwing back her hair so that her earrings danced, tugging up her tracksuit bottoms.
“All right?” Fats said to her, individually.