The Casual Vacancy (13 page)

A suspicion darkened Krystal’s mind like the shadow of some circling vulture.

“Terri, you’d used when I arrived yesterday, hadn’t you?”

“No, I fuckin’ hadn’! Tha’s a fuckin’ — you’re fuckin’ — I ain’ used, all righ’?”

A weight was pressing on Krystal’s lungs and her ears were ringing. Obbo must have given her mother, not a single bag, but a bundle. The social worker had seen her blasted. Terri would test positive at Bellchapel next time, and they would chuck her out again…

(…and without methadone, they would return again to that nightmare place where Terri became feral, when she would again start opening her broken-toothed mouth for strangers’ dicks, so she could feed her veins. And Robbie would be taken away again, and this time he might not come back. In a little red plastic heart hanging from the key ring in Krystal’s pocket was a picture of Robbie, aged one. Krystal’s real heart had started pounding the way it did when she rowed full stretch, pulling, pulling through the water, her muscles singing, watching the other crew slide backwards…)

“You fuckin’,” she shouted, but nobody heard her, because Terri was still bawling at Kay, who sat with her mug held in her hands, looking unmoved.

“I ain’ fuckin’ used, you ain’ go’ no proof —”

“You fuckin’ stupid,” said Krystal, louder.

“I ain’ fuckin’ used, tha’s a fuckin’ lie,” screamed Terri; an animal snared in a net, thrashing around, tangling herself tighter. “I never fuckin’ did, righ’, I never —”

“They’ll kick you out the fuckin’ clinic again, you stupid fuckin’ bitch!”

“Don’ you dare fuckin’ talk ter me like tha’!”

“All right,” said Kay loudly over the din, putting her mug back on the floor and standing up, scared at what she had unleashed; then she shouted “Terri!” in real alarm, as Terri hoisted herself up in the chair to half crouch on its other arm, facing her daughter; like two gargoyles they were almost nose to nose, screaming.

“
Krystal!
” cried Kay, as Krystal raised her fist.

Krystal flung herself violently off the chair, away from her mother. She was surprised to feel warm liquid flowing down her cheeks, and thought confusedly of blood, but it was tears, only tears, clear and shining on her fingertips when she wiped them away.

“All right,” said Kay, unnerved. “Let’s calm down, please.”

“
You
fuckin’ calm down,” Krystal said. Shaking, she wiped her face with her forearm, then marched back over to her mother’s chair. Terri flinched, but Krystal merely snatched up the cigarette packet, slid out the last cigarette and a lighter, and lit up. Puffing on the cigarette, she walked away from her mother to the window and turned her back, trying to press away more tears before they fell.

“OK,” said Kay, still standing, “if we can talk about this calmly —”

“Oh, fuck off,” said Terri dully.

“This is about Robbie,” Kay said. She was still on her feet, scared to relax. “That’s what I’m here for. To make sure that Robbie is all right.”

“So ’e missed fuckin’ nursery,” said Krystal, from the window. “Tha’s norra fuckin’ crime.”

“…norra fuckin’ crime,” agreed Terri, in a dim echo.

“This isn’t only about nursery,” said Kay. “Robbie was uncomfortable and sore when I saw him yesterday. He’s much too old to be wearing a nappy.”

“I took ’im outta the fuckin’ nappy, ’e’s in pants now, I toldja!” said Krystal furiously.

“I’m sorry, Terri,” said Kay, “but you weren’t in any fit condition to have sole charge of a small child.”

“I never —”

“You can keep telling me you haven’t used,” Kay said; and Krystal heard something real and human in Kay’s voice for the first time: exasperation, irritation. “But you’re going to be tested at the clinic. We both know you’re going to test positive. They’re saying it’s your last chance, that they’ll throw you out again.”

Terri wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Look, I can see neither of you wants to lose Robbie —”

“Don’ fuckin’ take him away, then!” shouted Krystal.

“It’s not as simple as that,” said Kay. She sat down again and lifted the heavy folder back onto her lap from the floor where it had fallen. “When Robbie came back to you last year, Terri, you were off the heroin. You made a big commitment to staying clean and going through the program, and you agreed to certain other things, like keeping Robbie in nursery —”

“Yeh, an’ I took ’im —”

“— for a bit,” said Kay. “For a bit you did, but, Terri, a token effort isn’t enough. After what I found when I called here yesterday, and after talking to your key drug worker and to Mrs. Harper, I’m afraid I think we need to have another look at how things are working.”

“What’s that mean?” said Krystal. “Another fuckin’ case review, is it? Why’djer need one, though? Why’djer need one? He’s all righ’, I’m lookin’ after —
fuckin’ shurrup!
” she screamed at Terri, who was trying to shout along from her chair. “She ain’ — I’m lookin’ after ’im, all righ’?” she bellowed at Kay, pink in the face, her heavily kohled eyes brimming with tears of anger, jabbing a finger at her own chest.

Krystal had visited Robbie regularly at his foster parents during the month he had been away from them. He had clung to her, wanted her to stay for tea, cried when she left. It had been like having half your guts cut out of you and held hostage. Krystal had wanted Robbie to go to Nana Cath’s, the way she had gone all those times in her childhood, whenever Terri had fallen apart. But Nana Cath was old and frail now, and she had no time for Robbie.

“I understand that you love your brother and that you’re doing your best for him, Krystal,” Kay said, “but you’re not Robbie’s legal —”

“Why ain’ I? I’m his fuckin’ sister, ain’ I?”

“All right,” said Kay firmly. “Terri, I think we need to face facts here. Bellchapel will definitely throw you off the program if you turn up, claim you haven’t used and then test positive. Your drug worker made that perfectly clear to me on the phone.”

Shrunken in the armchair, a strange hybrid of old lady and child with her missing teeth, Terri’s gaze was vacant and inconsolable.

“I think the only way you can possibly avoid being thrown out,” Kay went on, “is to admit, up front, that you’ve used, take responsibility for the lapse and show your commitment to turning over a new leaf.”

Terri simply stared. Lying was the only way Terri knew to meet her many accusers.
Yeah, all righ’, go on, then, give it ’ere,
and then,
No, I never, no I ain’, I never fuckin’ did…

“Was there any particular reason you used heroin this week, when you’re already on a big dose of methadone?” Kay asked.

“Yeah,” said Krystal. “Yeah, because Obbo turned up, an’ she never fuckin’ says no to ’im!”

“Shurrup,” said Terri, but without heat. She seemed to be trying to take in what Kay had said to her: this bizarre, dangerous advice about telling the truth.

“Obbo,” repeated Kay. “Who’s Obbo?”

“Fuckin’ tosser,” said Krystal.

“Your dealer?” asked Kay.

“Shurrup,” Terri advised Krystal again.

“Why didn’ yeh jus’ tell ’im fuckin’ no?” Krystal shouted at her mother.

“All right,” said Kay, again. “Terri, I’m going to call your drug worker back. I’m going to try and persuade her that I think there would be a benefit to the family from your staying on the program.”

“Will yeh?” asked Krystal, astonished. She had been thinking of Kay as a huge bitch, a bigger bitch even than that foster mother, with her spotless kitchen and the way she had of speaking kindly to Krystal, which made Krystal feel like a piece of shit.

“Yes,” said Kay, “I will. But, Terri, as far as we’re concerned, I mean the Child Protection team, this is serious. We are going to have to monitor Robbie’s home situation closely. We need to see a change, Terri.”

“All righ’, yeah,” said Terri; agreeing as she agreed to everything, to everyone.

But Krystal said, “You will, yeah. She will. I’ll help ’er. She will.”

II

Shirley Mollison spent Wednesdays at South West General in Yarvil. Here, she and a dozen fellow volunteers performed non-medical jobs, such as pushing the library trolley around the beds, looking after patients’ flowers and making trips to the shop in the lobby for those who were bedridden and without visitors. Shirley’s favorite activity was going from bed to bed, taking orders for meals. Once, carrying her clipboard and wearing her laminated pass, she had been mistaken by a passing doctor for a hospital administrator.

The idea of volunteering had come to Shirley during her longest-ever conversation with Julia Fawley, during one of the wonderful Christmas parties at Sweetlove House. Here, she had learned that Julia was involved in fund-raising for the pediatric wing of the local hospital.

“What we really need is a royal visit,” Julia had said, her eyes straying to the door over Shirley’s shoulder. “I’m going to get Aubrey to have a quiet word with Norman Bailey. Excuse me, I must say hello to Lawrence…”

Shirley was left standing there beside the grand piano, saying, “Oh, of course, of course,” to thin air. She had no idea who Norman Bailey was, but she felt quite light-headed. The very next day, without even telling Howard what she was up to, she telephoned South West General and asked about volunteer work. Ascertaining that nothing was required but a blameless character, a sound mind and strong legs, she had demanded an application form.

Volunteer work had opened a whole new, glorious world to Shirley. This was the dream that Julia Fawley had inadvertently handed her beside the grand piano: that of herself, standing with her hands clasped demurely in front of her, her laminated pass around her neck, while the Queen moved slowly down a line of beaming helpers. She saw herself dropping a perfect curtsy; the Queen’s attention caught, she stopped to chat; she congratulated Shirley on generously giving her free time…a flash and a photograph, and the newspapers next day…
“The Queen chats to hospital volunteer Mrs. Shirley Mollison…”
Sometimes, when Shirley really concentrated on this imaginary scene, an almost holy feeling came over her.

Volunteering at the hospital had given Shirley a glittering new weapon with which to whittle down Maureen’s pretentions. When Ken’s widow had been transformed, Cinderella-like, from shopgirl to business partner, she had taken on airs that Shirley (though enduring it all with a pussycat smile) found infuriating. But Shirley had retaken the higher ground; she worked, not for profit but out of the goodness of her heart. It was classy to volunteer; it was what women did who had no need of extra cash; women like herself and Julia Fawley. What was more, the hospital gave Shirley access to a vast mine of gossip to drown out Maureen’s tedious prattling about the new café.

This morning, Shirley stated her preference for ward twenty-eight in a firm voice to the volunteer supervisor, and was duly sent off to the oncology department. She had made her only friend among the nursing staff on ward twenty-eight; some of the young nurses could be curt and patronizing to the volunteers, but Ruth Price, who had recently returned to nursing after a break of sixteen years, had been charming from the first. They were both, as Shirley put it, Pagford women, which made a bond.

(Though, as it happened, Shirley was not Pagford-born. She and her younger sister had grown up with their mother in a cramped and untidy flat in Yarvil. Shirley’s mother had drunk a lot; she had never divorced the girls’ father, whom they did not see. Local men had all seemed to know Shirley’s mother’s name, and smirked when they said it…but that was a long time ago, and Shirley took the view that the past disintegrated if you never mentioned it. She refused to remember.)

Shirley and Ruth greeted each other with delight, but it was a busy morning and there was no time for anything but the most rudimentary exchange about Barry Fairbrother’s sudden death. They agreed to meet for lunch at half past twelve, and Shirley strode off to fetch the library trolley.

She was in a wonderful mood. She could see the future as clearly as if it had already happened. Howard, Miles and Aubrey Fawley were going to unite to cut the Fields adrift forever, and this would be the occasion for a celebratory dinner at Sweetlove House…

Shirley found the place dazzling: the enormous garden with its sundial, its topiary hedges and its ponds; the wide paneled hallway; the silver-framed photograph on the grand piano, showing the owner sharing a joke with the Princess Royal. She detected no condescension whatsoever in the Fawleys’ attitude towards her or her husband; but then there were so many distracting scents competing for her attention whenever she came within the Fawleys’ orbit. She could just imagine the five of them sitting down to a private dinner in one of those delicious little side rooms, Howard sitting next to Julia, she on Aubrey’s right hand, and Miles in between them. (In Shirley’s fantasy, Samantha was unavoidably detained elsewhere.)

Shirley and Ruth found each other by the yogurts at half-past twelve. The clattering hospital canteen was not yet as crowded as it would be by one, and the nurse and the volunteer found, without too much difficulty, a sticky, crumb-strewn table for two against the wall.

“How’s Simon? How are the boys?” asked Shirley, when Ruth had wiped down the table, and they had decanted the contents of their trays and sat facing each other, ready for chat.

“Si’s fine, thanks, fine. Bringing home our new computer today. The boys can’t wait; you can imagine.”

This was quite untrue. Andrew and Paul both possessed cheap laptops; the PC sat in the corner of the tiny sitting room and neither boy touched it, preferring to do nothing that took them within the vicinity of their father. Ruth often spoke of her sons to Shirley as though they were much younger than they were: portable, tractable, easily amused. Perhaps she sought to make herself younger, to emphasize the age difference between herself and Shirley — which stood at nearly two decades — to make them even more like mother and daughter. Ruth’s mother had died ten years previously; she missed having an older woman in her life, and Shirley’s relationship with her own daughter was, she had hinted to Ruth, not all it could have been.