Authors: Louis Sachar
Just you wait,
I thought.
We're going to kick your ass!
This was the third day of a four-day tournament. At a bridge tournament there are separate events each day, unlike, say, at my sister's soccer tournament, where there's just one winner. Trapp and Gloria would be playing in a two-session pairs game. There had been other events on Thursday and Friday, and there would be something new on Sunday. Judging by the zombielike expressions on most of the faces in the room, I guessed that many of them had played every day, two or three sessions each day.
We settled into 7-B, where two women were already seated East-West. They were well dressed, with brightly colored blouses and linen jackets. Gloria explained our situation to them.
"It's wonderful he's still able to enjoy the game," said East. She had a round face and wore big round glasses.
"You're such a dear to help out your uncle," said West. She also wore glasses, and had one of those jeweled strands that went around her neck, connected to either side of the frames.
They came off all sweet and friendly, but don't let the kindly-old-grandmother act fool you. They smelled blood. What better way to begin a tournament than with a couple of top boards off a blind guy?
Unlike at the club, we didn't shuffle and deal. Instead, we sorted the deck into suits. A caddy came around and passed out
hand records
. There were three caddies, two girls and a boy, all about Leslie's age.
A hand record is a sheet of paper with a bridge diagram on it, indicating which cards should be in which hand. We had boards thirteen and fourteen, and the hand records for those boards. Each of us took a suit; I took the clubs and distributed them as indicated on the hand record.
Naturally we didn't play those two boards. A director, speaking through a microphone, instructed us to pass the boards lower, skipping a table. I took the boards to table five, and we got our two new boards from table nine.
I found out the reason for hand records later. When the session was over, you could pick up a sheet of paper showing the hand records for every single board. If you don't know why bridge players would want this, then you haven't been paying attention. Besides actually playing bridge, their favorite thing to do is to talk about hands already played. That's what their bridge gibberish is all about.
The game got under way. I removed the South hand from board seventeen, then led Trapp to a nearby corner.
"So, you just told him all his cards?" East asked when we returned.
"And he's going to remember them?" asked West.
"You can ask me," my uncle said. "Despite my lack of eyesight, I can hear and speak."
"Pass," said Gloria as she set a green pass card on the table.
"Are we supposed to say our bids out loud?" asked East.
"It would be helpful," said Trapp.
"One heart," she said, but then set the 1
card on the table.
Gloria pointed out the discrepancy, and the woman apologized, complaining about how confusing it was to have to say a bid out loud when using bidding boxes. "Do you want to call the director?" she asked.
"Just make the bid you want to make," said Gloria.
"One spade," the woman said, keeping the bidding card on the table.
"Two clubs," said Trapp.
I placed the bid on the table.
The final contract was three no-trump doubled, and Trapp was the declarer. He made it by
squeezing
East.
He didn't actually grab East and squeeze her. Gloria explained it to me later, at dinner, using the sheet of hand records. For reasons that will soon be clear, it's best for me to explain it to you now.
This was the situation with three cards left to play. Trapp needed to win the rest of the tricks to make his contract.
Trapp had won the previous trick, so he was on-lead. I couldn't see all four hands, of course, just Trapp's and the dummy hand. My guess had been that he would lead the two of hearts, hoping to finesse West's queen. As you can see, that wouldn't have worked, since East was the lady who actually had the queen of hearts.
"Two of clubs," he said, and I set the card on the table.
Nobody else had any clubs, so the lowly deuce of clubs would actually win the trick. Meanwhile, everyone else had to make a discard. West discarded the
8, and Trapp told Gloria to play the
3, but East was
squeezed
.
Whatever card she discarded would cost a trick. If she threw the
8, Trapp would then play the
2 and win the last two tricks in the dummy with the king, then the jack of hearts. If instead she threw the
Q, Trapp would win the last two tricks with the
J in his hand, and then the high heart in dummy. Either way, East was screwed.
That three-card ending didn't just happen. Trapp had planned for it earlier, then carefully set it up that way.
Remember, the same hand will eventually be played at every table across the room. At most tables, the person sitting in Trapp's seat will try a simple
finesse
. That play would have failed in this instance. Instead, Trapp executed a more complicated maneuver known as a
squeeze,
allowing him to make his contract.
"Why are you explaining it to Alton?" Trapp asked Gloria. "He doesn't understand a thing about bridge."
"He knows more than you think," said Gloria.