Authors: Louis Sachar
I wondered if I had heard him correctly. "Nixon?" I repeated. "President Nixon?" I had learned about Nixon and Watergate in U.S. History.
"It was before he became president," said my father.
"Senator King was a very important man, from a very prominent family," said my mother. "When his wife died at such a young age, you can be sure there was an investigation."
"What did they find out?" asked Leslie.
"About what?" asked my mother.
"How did she die?"
My parents didn't know.
"I think it was ruled a suicide," said my father.
"Those were different times," my mother explained. "Before CNN. People's privacy was respected. It was bad enough for Senator King that he married such a person. The public didn't need to know all the embarrassing details."
Embarrassing?
I wondered. His wife kills herself, and he's
embarrassed
?
I didn't know we owned a silver ice bucket. Tiny silver tongs, too. They had been placed on a silver tray, along with several bottles of soda. There was also the box of fancy cookies that had been sitting on the top shelf of a cabinet for as long as I could remember. Leslie and I had been forbidden to open it. Until now.
My mother had gone to a store and purchased a "bridge set," which included two decks of cards and a special score pad with the words
We
and
They
printed on it. She also bought a cheese ball.
"You're wearing that?" she asked me.
I didn't reply. I was wearing what I was wearing.
"Can you at least comb your hair?"
The doorbell rang.
"Well, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to answer it?"
I opened the door to see Toni's nervous smile. "Hi," she said quietly.
"Hi," I replied.
My mother told me to quit standing there like a bump on a log. "Invite your guest to come inside."
"Come on in," I said.
"Welcome to our humble home," said my mother.
"Thank you," said Toni.
"And how are your parents?" my mother asked her.
"They're fine, thanks."
"We go way back, you know."
"Yes, they've told me about you," said Toni.
That couldn't be good,
I thought.
"Too bad you never got to know your grandparents," said my mother. "I think it's tragic when a family can't get along."
"It was tragic," Toni agreed.
"Are you still seeing the same psychiatrist?" my mother asked. "What's his name?"
"Don't answer that," I said, then told my mother to "quit badgering her."
"I'm not badgering anyone. I'm just making friendly conversation. She's your guest, and you've hardly said a word. Somebody has to pick up the slack."
"It's all right," said Toni. "His name's Dr. Ellsworth."
"Ellsworth's a good man," my mother said, as if she had a clue. "Are you taking medication?"
"Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed. This from a woman who complained about people's privacy not being respected anymore.
"It's no big deal," said Toni. "Yes, Mrs. Richards. I have a prescription to control my schizophrenia."
My mother shot me an I-told-you-so look. Then she turned back to Toni and told her she had "wonderful poise. Don't you think so, Alton?"
"Yeah, she's got great poise."
Toni smiled.
"It's wonderful that the world of medicine has come so far," my mother said. "Too bad those drugs weren't around for your grandmother."
For the first time I thought I saw a flash of defiance in Toni's eyes. "There was nothing the matter with my grandmother," she said. "She didn't need medication."
"Well, I'm no psychiatrist," my mother admitted.
I managed to lead Toni away from my mother and into the living room. We sat down at the card table across from each other. She began shuffling one of the decks of cards, and I shuffled the other.
"Sorry about my mother," I said.
"It's okay. My parents warned me about her," Toni said, then instantly put her hand over her mouth. "Sorry. I didn't mean anything by that."
"No, I know," I assured her. "If anybody needs a psychiatrist, it's her."
That was the wrong thing to say. "Sorry," I said. "I didn't mean—"
"I like Dr. Ellsworth," said Toni. "But I don't take the meds."
I started to say she seemed perfectly normal to me, but stopped myself in time. I'd already put one foot in my mouth.
I had told Leslie to stay away until Cliff arrived, so I could have some time alone with Toni, but that wasn't working out exactly as planned. I'm a lot smoother in my daydreams than I am in real life.
"Are you having a pool put in?" Toni asked, looking at the backyard through the sliding glass door.
"No," I said.
We continued to shuffle our cards.
"So, what else do you like to do, besides play bridge?" I asked.
"I don't know, different things," said Toni. "My friend and I are making a quilt."
"A quilt?"
Her face reddened. "You think that's really lame, don't you?
Who is this loser?
"
"No, not at all," I said.
I tried to think of something fascinating to say about quilts, but nothing came to mind.
Leslie stepped into the room. "Sorry," she said. "I guess Cliff's not here yet. Big surprise."
I told her to come join us.
"You sure?" she asked.
"Of course," I said. "Leslie's been bugging me for weeks to play bridge," I told Toni, "and now she's afraid to enter the room."
That was unfair. For one thing, Leslie was never a pest. She shot me an accusatory glance, but then, not wanting to make me look bad in front of Toni, she smiled sweetly.
"It's a great game," said Toni. "You'll love it."
Leslie went to the ice bucket. She picked up a single ice cube using the tiny silver tongs and dropped it into her glass.
Kerplunk!
Then another.
Kerplunk!
Then another.
Kerplunk!
From the way Toni and I watched her you would have thought she was performing delicate surgery.
Leslie noticed our stares. "You want a soda?" she offered.
"No thanks," said Toni.
"I'm cool," I said, being anything but.
Cliff was only about ten minutes late, which was about five minutes early for him.
"So?" he asked, when I opened the door.
"What?" I asked.
"You and Toni? So?"
"She's just here to play bridge."
"If you say so, Romeo."
He walked ahead of me into the living room and sat down at the card table across from Toni, in my seat. "I'm Cliff. You must be Toni. I hear you're quite the card shark."
Toni smiled shyly. "Not really," she said quietly.
"That's what she
says,
" Cliff said, "but I saw that twinkle in her eye."
Toni's eye might not have been twinkling before, but it was then.
Leslie looked at me, waiting for me to say something. She knew I wanted to be partners with Toni, but it seemed silly for me to make a big deal out of it. Cliff was already sitting down. Besides, I realized, it probably made more sense this way, since if Toni and I were partners, Cliff would be Leslie's partner.
"We'll have to watch out for these two," Cliff said to Toni. "They have that brother-sister telepathy thing going."
Toni gave us a brief lesson on bidding. She said that bidding is a conversation between you and your partner. The only way you can talk to each other is by the bids you make. No other talking is allowed.
"Can you wink?" asked Cliff.
"That would be unauthorized information," said Toni.
He winked at her.
Toni's cheeks turned pink. "After you sort your hand into suits," she continued, "you count your points. An ace is worth four points. A king, three. A queen is worth two, and a jack, one."
"How about a six?" asked Cliff.
"Nothing," said Toni.
"How about two sixes?"
"Still nothing."
"Three sixes and an eight?"
"C'mon, Cliff, you're not
that
stupid!" said Leslie. "I can understand it, and I'm only eleven!"
Cliff laughed.
You also get points for voids, singletons, and doubletons. Toni had made note cards for each of us.
She explained that the points were just used as a way to help evaluate how good a hand you have. If you have thirteen points, then you have a good enough hand to open the bidding. With fewer than thirteen points, you should pass.
"Pass," said Cliff.
"It's not your turn," said Toni. "Alton dealt."
The dealer is always the first to bid. At the bridge studio it's indicated on the boards who is the dealer for each hand.
I looked at my cards.
I had fourteen points. The ace, king, and queen of spades were worth a total of nine points. The king of diamonds was worth three, and the jack of clubs was worth one. I also added one point for the doubleton diamond.
Even though my points were in the other suits, I was supposed to bid my longest suit. "One heart," I said.
"Six spades," said Cliff.
Toni pretended to slap him.
"Double!" shouted Leslie.
Toni told Cliff that if he didn't have enough points to open the bidding, he certainly didn't have enough to bid six spades.
"But I have six spades," said Cliff.
"Just bid one spade," said Toni.
"Too late," said Leslie.
Leslie's protests notwithstanding, we let Cliff take back his bid. Cliff bid one spade.
"One no-trump," said Leslie.
Toni passed, I passed, and Cliff passed too.
One no-trump was the final contract. Toni led a spade, and my hand became the dummy.
Leslie was completely on her own. She had to choose which card to play from her hand, and which card to play from dummy. Watching her, you would never have known she had never played before.
Not only did she make her contract, but she made an overtrick to boot.
"Well done," said Toni.
"Hey, whose side are you on?" asked Cliff.
Leslie's grin was a mile wide.
Toni dealt the next hand. She opened "One club," Leslie passed, and it was up to Cliff. He rubbed his chin. "Suppose I had the nine and seven of spades; four hearts, including the king and queen; the ace and two other diamonds; and four little clubs. What would I bid?"
"One heart," said Toni. "Once your partner opens the bidding, you only need six points to
respond
."
"One heart," said Cliff.
"Uh, hello?" said Leslie. "He just told you his entire hand."
"I didn't say that was my hand," said Cliff. "I was simply asking a hypothetical question." He winked at Toni.
"He just winked!" shouted Leslie.
"I really don't remember what he said," Toni assured Leslie.
Cliff sighed. "The
nine
and
seven
of spades, the king and queen of hearts . . ."
Toni and I laughed, but Leslie wasn't amused.
Cliff wasn't as dumb as he pretended. The final contract was two hearts, and he made two overtricks.
He had played the card game hearts, so he knew all about following suit and taking tricks. It wasn't that much of a stretch to learn about trump.
At the bridge studio, it took my uncle and his group about three hours to play twenty-four boards, one right after another. Leslie, Toni, Cliff, and I played from about two-thirty to six o'clock and maybe got through ten hands.
I got to be the declarer twice. The first time I went down in three clubs, and the second time I made a four-spade contract.
Cliff actually seemed to have a good time. I was glad that he and Toni got along, and after a while even Leslie laughed at his jokes.
Once I got over my initial awkwardness, I was able to throw in a few funny and insightful comments. I know they were funny and insightful because Leslie didn't groan and roll her eyes. More importantly, Toni smiled.