The Campbell Trilogy (44 page)

Argyll took his time in responding, his dark eyes probing with an uncomfortable intensity. “You are aware of what your brother and his men are accused, and that your husband has brought them here for my judgment?”

Her jaw clenched, but she did not turn away. “I am. Jamie swore that you would show them leniency.”

Argyll stroked his small pointed beard. “He told you all this and yet you are still here?”

She nodded, again feeling like a recalcitrant child—and a disloyal one at that.

Argyll drummed his fingertips on the tabletop, and the annoying click only increased her agitation. “Your brother’s men are in the tower under guard, awaiting my punishment.” His eyes met hers with cold calculation. “But I’m afraid you are too late. Your brother is already gone.”

Gone.
Caitrina felt as if she’d slammed into a stone wall, the breath knocked right out of her. She was too late. Niall was already dead.

For a moment, the bleakness and anguish of unbearable loss blinded her; it seemed as if her worst fears had come true … but only for a moment.

Something far deeper prevailed and pushed aside the flash of despair.
Jamie wouldn’t have let that happen.
She knew it with a certainty that pervaded every fiber of her being.

She believed in him. Completely. She knew that the Highlands were a better place with him. Loyalty to his cousin notwithstanding, Jamie would do what was right.

And it had taken Argyll’s trick to prove it. Was that what he’d intended? Her eyes narrowed on the most powerful—and despised—man in the Highlands. Trusting Jamie meant that she was forced to concede that Argyll was not the monster she believed. Jamie would not be loyal to such a man. Argyll must have some redeeming qualities—not that they were necessarily apparent at the moment.

Argyll was testing her. Did he not think her worthy of his prized cousin? Perhaps a few minutes ago he’d been right, but she would prove him wrong. “How unfortunate that I missed him,” she said breezily, as if her brother had been making a social call. “Do you expect him back soon?”

Argyll arched a wiry brow. She thought she detected a
hint of approval in his gaze. “Jamie was to bring him here for my judgment; don’t you care to hear it?”

Caitrina gave him an icy sweet smile. “I’m sure Jamie will tell me all about it.”

“Tell you all about what?”

Caitrina’s heart skipped a beat, hearing her husband’s deep brogue behind her. She turned and took a step toward him, wanting to throw herself into his powerful arms and beg forgiveness for doubting him; but he stopped her cold.

“What the devil are you doing here, Caitrina?”

Her heart faltered, then crashed to her feet. Hope that he would be happy to see her was extinguished by the harsh greeting and the glacial expression on his face. He seemed to look right through her, as if she weren’t even there. As if he wanted nothing to do with her ever again.

Jamie couldn’t believe it when Will found him in the stables as he was preparing to leave and told him that Caitrina was here.

For a moment, he’d hoped that she had come after him to apologize—until Will told him she had insisted on seeing his cousin. Argyll, not him.

Knowing how much she despised his cousin—holding him partially to blame for what had happened at Ascog—Jamie realized the courage it had taken for her to confront him. He had to admire her determination to save her brother, even as her lack of faith in him was made more glaring.

Seeing her so soon was like salt on an open wound. She was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at her. But there was something different.… Then it hit him. The gown, the jewels, the hair. For the first time since the attack on Ascog, she had donned her finery. She looked like a princess again. Not a fairy princess, but a real one. A strong, confident woman who’d struggled and survived. Was it significant?

“It appears your new wife has come for a visit to see her
brother,” Argyll said, taking up the slack in the conversation.

“I see,” Jamie said tightly, his instincts confirmed. Disappointment curdled in his stomach. He wanted to get the hell out of here and ride as far from her as possible.

“I told her she was too late,” Argyll said, giving him a meaningful glance. “That Niall was already gone.”

Jamie shot his cousin a look. Argyll obviously had wanted Caitrina to think Niall dead, but her face bore no signs of grief. He turned back to his cousin, giving no hint of his impatience. He knew his cousin well enough to know he would not be rushed. What game did he play?

“Naturally, I expected her to assume him dead.”

Jamie’s gaze flickered to Caitrina, but she betrayed no reaction to Argyll’s words. “Naturally,” Jamie said wryly, his cousin’s purpose having become suddenly clear to him. The betrayals of Argyll’s youth had left its mark on his cousin—loyalty was of utmost importance to him. Obviously, Caitrina’s sudden appearance had made him question hers. Jamie appreciated his cousin’s sentiment, but he could fight his own damn battles.

Argyll gave him a look that said he knew exactly what Jamie was thinking and thought he was doing a piss poor job of it.

Caitrina finally spoke. “But I didn’t believe him.”

Jamie felt a dim ray of hope and looked to his cousin for confirmation.

“She seems to have a rather high opinion of you.” Argyll’s expression changed to one of barely concealed annoyance. “And assumes I share that opinion.”

“I see,” Jamie repeated. The sudden show of faith was something, he supposed, but not enough—and too late. He hardened himself against the soft pleading in her eyes and looked away.

“I was about to explain my recent disappointment when you came in.” Argyll turned his attention back to Caitrina.

“It seems my normally diligent captain made a careless mistake on his way to Dunoon.”

“He did?” Caitrina asked warily.

“Yes,” his cousin said. “It seems your brother slipped away when they stopped to water the horses. Jamie and his men gave chase, but he disappeared.” Argyll gave Jamie a sharp look. It was a look that said he knew exactly what Jamie had done but would never voice his suspicions—not when Jamie’s actions in effect had made it easier on him. Argyll would not be held accountable. There was only one person Colin would blame.

“Niall escaped?” She turned to Jamie, incredulity written on her face. He could see the questions form, but wisely she kept them to herself—for now, at least. “And the others?”

“Free to return to Rothesay,” Jamie said. “I was seeing to their release when you arrived.”

Caitrina looked stunned. “I don’t know what to say.” Her eyes fell on Argyll. “Thank you.”

“Thank him,” Argyll said with a wave of his hand toward Jamie. “ ’Twas he who paid the gold to see their crimes atoned.”

“Jamie, I …”

Before she could say anything more, Jamie took her arm and steered her toward the door. “If you’ll excuse us, I’ll see my wife settled in her chamber.”

“If you need anything else,” Argyll said dryly, “just let me know.”

Jamie threw him a quelling glance, but the amusement in Argyll’s eyes only annoyed him further. Oh yes, his grim cousin was a regular court jester at times. Argyll might be satisfied by the display of loyalty, but Jamie wasn’t.

The chamberlain had readied the third-floor chamber in the south tower—the one Lizzie used when she stayed at Dunoon. Fresh water had been brought up, and the few
items that Caitrina had brought with her were laid out on the bed for night.

He quickly looked away from the bed and stood stiffly near the fireplace as the chamberlain closed the door behind him.

As soon as the man had gone, Caitrina moved to stand before him, her soft feminine scent clouding his senses. Would it always be like this—this clawing need for her? The inability to think when she was near? The feeling that if he didn’t take her in his arms and kiss her, he would surely die?

“Jamie, I’m so sorr—”

“My men will see to your return to Rothesay in the morning,” he clipped, cutting off her apology.

“Are you not coming with me?”

He heard the quiver in her voice but kept his eyes fixed on the wall behind her head, refusing to meet her gaze. The steel vise enclosing his chest tightened. “I believe you made your wishes quite clear. I will return to Castleswene. You need not fear that I will interfere with anything you wish to do.” His meaning was obvious: They would lead separate lives. His gut twisted. The thought of her with another man …

“But …”

“But what, Caitrina?” he said harshly, finally looking at her. “Is this not what you wanted?”

The stricken look on her face hit him square in the chest. He took a deep, ragged breath and forced himself to look away.
I need to get the hell out of here.
It hurt too damn much. Hurt to know how much he loved her, but that it wasn’t enough. She was grateful now, but he didn’t want her gratitude. He wanted her love and trust—her heart and soul. He wanted her to believe in him. He’d never cared what anyone thought … only her. He turned to leave.

“Please, don’t go.” His heart jerked when she pressed
her tiny hand on the sleeve of his doublet. “It’s not what I want.”

“Maybe not now,” he said roughly. “But what about the next time we disagree or my duty requires something of which you do not approve? What then, Caitrina?” He couldn’t bite back his anger. Her lack of faith and quick dismissal of his love were not easily forgiven, but it was her response that had truly shaken him. “Will you send me away again?”

“God, I’m sorry, Jamie. I should never have given you an ultimatum like that. I was wrong to try to bargain with your feelings for me. I know that. But I was so scared at the thought of losing my brother … I didn’t know what else to do. Can you not understand that?”

Aye, he supposed he could. Hell, he admired her passion, her openness, the unconditional loyalty and love she felt for her family. He just wanted it for himself. Nor did it lessen the sting of the moment when she’d cast him and his love aside.

He heard a sound and looked down. Damn. Not the tears. He could take just about anything but the tears. His hand itched to wipe them away, his arms to give her comfort, but he forced them to his side.

“What if it were your sister?” she said softly. “Would you have been so understanding if the situations had been reversed?”

His gaze shot to hers. His mouth clenched; he might be willing to concede her point, but not all of it. “No, I wouldn’t have,” he admitted. “But I wouldn’t have asked you to choose.”

“Didn’t you? It felt like you were asking me to choose between my brother and you. Maybe if you’d told me of your plans, but I had to find out from the servants what you intended.”

He grimaced. She was right. He was used to making decisions on his own. “I’m sorry for that. Perhaps I should
have explained more. But why are you always ready to believe the worst of me?”

“Years of practice. I realized it would be difficult marrying a Campbell, but when I realized I loved you, I thought that would be enough. It isn’t. Old tensions are not just going to die because I want them to, it will take work.”

Her insight surprised him. He couldn’t expect her to cast aside her prejudices just because she loved him. “What are you saying?”

He could see her hands stiffen at her side. “I want to know everything about you, Jamie. And if that means getting to know your cousin, I’m willing to try.”

Jamie stilled, completely shocked. “You’d do that for me?”

She nodded. “I do have faith in you. It wasn’t until your cousin tried to trick me that I knew how much. But it was always there.”

He felt a crack, hearing the vulnerability in her voice and wanting desperately to believe her.

“I made a mistake,” she continued. “And I’m sure I’ll make more. But you hold those around you to a very high standard.” He tensed, knowing she was referring to his brother. “I need to know that you’ll be able to forgive me.”

He felt the stirrings of a smile. “Are you saying that I can be rigid and uncompromising?”

Her mouth twitched. “Maybe a little.” They shared a moment of understanding before her expression shifted again to one of earnestness. “I love you, Jamie. You brought happiness and love back in my life when I never thought to feel that way again. I was wrong to think I could ever make you choose between your loyalty and duty to your clan and to me when they are the same. I’ll never do so again. Knowing that I have your love is enough.” Her voice lowered to a shaky whisper. “If I still have it.”

She lifted her face to his. “Do I still have it, Jamie? Please, tell me it’s not too late for us.”

Her mouth trembled, and his resistance shattered. His thumb wiped the dampness from her cheeks as he looked deep into her eyes. He’d hardened himself to a future without her, but he was relieved not to have to face it. “Aye. You have it, lass. You’ve always had it.”

A smile broke through the tears. “Then that is all that matters. You have my love and loyalty forever. I vow to never doubt you again.”

Jamie arched a brow. “Never?”

She bit her lip. “Well, hardly ever. And not about anything important.”