The Bright Side (55 page)

“Not too overpowering though.” “No.
”

“Just right.
”

We ran through this exchange at speed. When it was over, I realised that I had been stalling. Eddie seemed to cotton on at exactly the same moment. He gave me another quick smile over the top of his mug. I averted my gaze
.

“Anyway,” he said. “You were about to tell me something.
”

I drank some tea and was horrified by the slurp I managed to produce. “Yeah.
”

“About Gerry, I presume?
”

“Yes. No. Sort of. It’s about me, really.
”

He popped a hunk of scone into his mouth and chewed patiently, waiting for me to start
.

“All week long,” I began, “I’ve been doing something I’m not proud of.
”

“Oh?
”

“And I want to talk to someone about it. It’s … embarrassing.
”

“You
sound
like
me,”
he
said.
“Before
I
told
you
about
my
… y’know.
”

“Maybe that’s why I’m talking to you. Partly at least. Because of the way you confided in me. That and – don’t take this the wrong way.
”

He moved in his chair and straightened his face, getting ready to be offended
.

“But you’re still practically a stranger to me,” I went on. “That’s what I want, really. Someone I can talk to who doesn’t have any, what do they call it, baggage – I mean, baggage in relation to me. Someone who’ll just listen and tell me what they think. Honestly.
”

“I can do that,” Eddie said
.

“And you have to promise me that you won’t tell a soul.
”

He crossed his heart. “I promise. Why would I? Sure look at the goods you’ve got on me.
”

“I would never tell anyone that,” I said solemnly
.

“And I’d never tell anyone about your … whatever it is.” “OK.
”

I took some more tea and clasped my hands together on the table. “Last Friday,” I began, “when I caught Gerry with your woman, Lisa, I was … shocked. Obviously.
”

“Obviously.
”

“I mean, that’s not
good
news
, is it?” “God, no.
”

“That’s what any normal person would think.” “Absolutely.
”

“No one in their right mind would try to look on the bright side, would they?
”

Eddie
saw
where
I
was
going
and
this
time
made
no
reply. “Well,
I
did,”
I
said.
“I’ve
been
…
using
it.
To
get
back
on good
terms
with
people.
My
sister.
And
my
son.
I
fell
out with
them both,
ages ago. I’ve
been deliberately using
what happened
to
get
sympathy,
to
get
them
on
my
side.
I
didn’t
set
out
to
do
it.
Not
really.
Well
…
maybe
a
bit
.
.
.” “And
what?
You
feel
guilty
about
it?
”

“Yes. Guilty. And stupid. Because it didn’t work. Well, it sort of did, for a while. I got some results. But it turned out they were paper-thin. Now we’re back to square one. They’re barely talking to me. All week, I’ve been congratulating myself and now it’s …” I fought for air. “I can’t believe I actually … I actually thought …
Every
cloud
. . .
”

There was a pause while I regained what little composure was left available to me
.

“Is that it?” Eddie said
.

“Yeah.
”

“It’s not the worst confession I ever heard. I thought you were going to tell me something really awful.
”

I thought,
I
could
tell
you
something
really
awful
if
you
like
. “It feels pretty bad from where I’m sitting.”

“Listen, Jackie, in a week where you’ve caught your husband having sex with another woman, this is small potatoes. I mean … oh God! Sorry. That was supposed to sound helpful. Good man, Eddie.
”

“It’s all right. It’s not like I’d forgotten about it. I saw him this afternoon. Gerry.
”

“Yeah?
”

“Yeah. I hadn’t really had a go at him before today. I was too busy
scheming
. But now that it’s all gone wrong, I got furious with him. I smacked him in the face. Then I went home and slashed all his clothes. Christ, it’s such a cliché. It was all I could think of at the time.
”

Eddie
was
clearly
taken
aback.
“Wow.
I
can’t
believe
you hit
him.
I
wouldn’t
have
had
you
down
as
the
violent
type.”
“Neither
would
I.
Neither
would
Gerry.
He
was
stunned.
”

“He probably thought you’d got it out of your system when you vandalised his jeep.
”

I puffed out my cheeks. “I only did that, really, to get sympathy from my sister. I wanted to impress her with how upset I was.
”

“Oh.
”

“See what I mean? I’ve been a real …” I couldn’t think of a word that covered it
.

“So,” Eddie said. “Your sister, eh –” “Melissa.
”

“And your son …” “Robert.
”

“You
said
they’re
barely
talking
to
you
now.
How
come?” I
shifted
sideways
in
my
seat
and
crossed
my
legs.
But
I didn’t
feel
any
more
comfortable.
I
undid
the
move.
“My best
friend
Nancy
was
away
for
a
few
days.
She
came
back last
night
and
I
stayed
over
at
hers.
Melissa’s
raging.
She thinks
I
used
her
house
like
a
hotel
while
I
had
no
other option
and
then
dropped
her
when
I
had.
And
she’s
half- right.
If
Nancy
had
been
around,
I
probably
would
have
gone to
her
first.
It
wouldn’t
have
occurred
to
me
that
I
could
do
some
…
healing,
I
suppose
you’d
call
it
…
with
Melissa.” “Right.
And
Robert?
What
happened
there?
”

I made a noise with my lips. “He was nice to me for about ten minutes after he heard about Gerry. But he’s had some problems of his own the last couple of days. And now that he’s got distracted, it’s like nothing ever happened. He’s treating me like dirt again.
”

“What
kind
of
problems?
Your-fault
kind
of
problems?” “No.
Gerry’s
fault.
Robert
ran
into
Lisa
and
there
was
…
trouble.
In
a
club.
It
was
all
over
The
Sun
.
Front
page.” “Eh?
It was in the
papers? Must have been
big trouble.” “Well,
because
of
The
O’Mahonys
and
all.
”

“What’s
The
O’Mahonys
got to do with it?”

“What do you mean? Robert’s in it. He’s Valentine Reilly.
”

Eddie’s mouth formed an O. “You’re joking me!
”

“What? Did you not know that? You must have heard me talking about it at work.
”

He shook his head. “Never. Not once.” “Are you sure?
”

“I’d have remembered
something like
that, Jackie.” “Oh.
Well
I’m
sure
I
mentioned it
to
Veronica
at
least.”
I
thought
about
it
and
realised
that
I
hadn’t
done
that
very often
either.
“Anyway,
he
could
be
in
a
bit
of
bother
with
RTÉ.
He’s
furious
at
Gerry
and
he
seems
to
have
just
…
lost interest
in
being
nice
to
me.
Again.
I
should
have
known
it wouldn’t
last.
He’s
had
no
time
for
me
for
years.
”

“What happened between you in the first place? And you and Melissa, for that matter.
”

My shoulders tensed. “There’s no point in getting into it, Eddie. It’s not important.
”

“You did say you wanted to talk …
”

There was no anger in his voice – just alarm. I could tell that he wasn’t happy with merely listening. He really wanted to help
.

“Okay. But I don’t think it’ll make any difference.” He brightened up. “You never know.
”

“With Melissa, I can tell you what happened in a few words. Remember in the café, I told you that my parents were killed in a car crash?
”