The Bootlegger Blues (5 page)

MARTHA:

You sometimes drive 90 in an 80-kilometer zone. I've seen you do it, Blue. Isn't that breaking the law?

ANDREW:

I give up. A son is supposed to make life miserable for his mother, not the other way around.

Marianne and David enter from the garden.

MARIANNE:

I don't want to be an Indian yuppie. I want bannock, not whole wheat. I want to fry my food, not microwave it. Especially that quiche stuff of yours. The Creator meant eggs to be fried, not baked.

Angie takes the guitar and starts strumming.

DAVID:

I am simply trying to offer a healthy alternative to pop and chips.

MARIANNE:

I hate tofu, alfalfa sprouts, soya bean curd, and most of all, and I really mean this, David, I really hate skim milk.

DAVID:

And now I'm being attacked for showing my concern for you.

MARIANNE:

I appreciate your concern, but you're a bully, David.

DAVID:

I most certainly am not.

MARIANNE:

You make me eat all that stuff. You don't ask me, you tell me. Now I'm telling you.

MARTHA:

Did you get the beans?

MARIANNE:

Enjoy them.

The phone rings.

MARTHA:

Excuse me, David.

DAVID:

No problem, Martha.

MARTHA:

(
Answering the phone
) Ahneen. Young William, what can I do for you? (Pause) Three cases?! You should be ashamed of yourself, young man, spending money on all that beer. You've got three children in that household to look after. (
Pause
) I don't care if only one is yours. You behave or I11 report you to the police.

She hangs up angrily.

NOBLE:

You got a cool mother.

ANDREW:

My bootlegging mother.

Angie starts playing in earnest, and singing with Marianne and Noble joining in.

She's got the blues

That ain't no news

She's got the blues

'Cause she's sellin' them two by two

Talkin' 'bout the Bootlegger Blues

She's got the blues

That ain't no news

We're talkin' bout the Bootlegger Blues

Now she can make a cake

Now she can shake 'n bake

She can clean a house

She might even mend a blouse

But the one thing she can really do

Is sell you some Blue

Yeah, we're talkin' 'bout the Bootlegger Blues

Oh we've got beer up the walls

And sittin' in the halls

Mom been on the phone

Turnin' down a loan

She stands at the sink

With her hands full of dishes

She's the only lady in the village

Who can make or break your wishes

We're talkin' 'bout you bootlegger you

Martha

The song ends with people breaking down in laughter except David and Martha.

MARTHA:

Oh you think it's so funny, do you? Well, laugh all you want as you deliver these.

ANDREW:

(Takes the list) You can't be serious. There must be 50 names here. And these are some of the scum of the village.

MARTHA:

Them are your cousins, now scoot.

ANDREW:

Mom, how am I gonna cart all this beer around? We don't have a car.

MARTHA:

You're young, carry it.

ANDREW:

Oh Mom …

ANGIE:

There must be another way.

All heads swivel to David.

MARTHA:

David …

DAVID:

Oh no you don't. Keep me and my car, and I use the term loosely, out of this. I am not in the mood to take part in any illegal activities.

MARTHA:

But David …

DAVID:

No buts. Sorry Martha, but being arrested for bootlegging would just about cap off my day.

ANGIE:

Come on, David, it won't take long.

DAVID:

Only 30 to 60 days. (To Marianne) And you keep out of this.

MARIANNE:

Noble's got wheels. I'm sure we can use his car.

NOBLE:

Sure, put as much in as you can. Fill it to the top.

DAVID:

The heck you will. This is family business. Martha, take the Camaro.

One by one they all peek out the window to look at his car.

ANDREW:

That's your car in the driveway? David, you won't even drive on the same side of the road as a Camaro.

DAVID:

It's a loaner from the towing company. (
Miserably
) A '75 Camaro.

ANGIE:

Well, should we start loading up?

ANDREW:

Where's the Passat?

MARIANNE:

Contrary to popular belief, Volkswagens cannot dogpaddle.

ANDREW:

Huh?

ANGIE:

Hey guys, who's for loading up?

MARTHA:

David, there's something wrong with the back end of your car, it seems awful high.

NOBLE:

Nice dice. I bet it will take off in a cloud of rust. The Lone Goof! Hi ho Rust, away!

ANGIE:

Look people, this is your beer, not mine. Somebody's got to move it, I'm willing to help but I'm not going to do it alone. (

No reaction

Angie goes to the beer.

ANDREW:

Mother, I don't want to do this, we shouldn't be doing this, but I don't seem to have any other choice. Just remember, Mom, I'm doing this under protest and …

MARTHA:

Go!

ANDREW:

I'm going, I'm going.

Andrew joins Angie as they repeatedly carry beer cases out to the car. Noble tries to sneak out but finds Martha in front of him.

NOBLE:

Hi.

MARTHA:

And where do you think you're going?

NOBLE:

Like gall stones, time passes. I've got places to go, dances to dance.

Noble walks up to Marianne.

NOBLE:

Well, I'm outta here. This is it.

Marianne looks up. She turns to David, almost in tears. The phone rings, nobody goes to answer it. It rings again and slowly Martha backs up, not wanting to miss anything.

MARIANNE:

There's an escape route for every place and situation, David. Here's yours. Come with me. Let's hop in your Camaro and go to Michigan. Just say, what the hell, we're here to burn rubber and gas. Then I'll know there's something still alive in you. What happened last night shows there's still a heartbeat.

NOBLE:

Wait a minute …

MARTHA:

(
Answers phone
) Ahneen, make it quick. Two cases, got it, bye.

She hangs up, then something occurs to her.

MARTHA:

Who was that?

Andrew and Angie walk out carrying beer.

ANDREW:

Ever wonder who the genius was that named this stuff "light beer"?

Everybody is quiet and Andrew notices this at the doorway.

ANDREW:

What happened?

Angie bumps into him pushing him out the door.

DAVID:

You want me to leave? Quit work, just like that? I can't, Marianne. I have responsibilities, obligations. It's not that easy. I've got the council meeting on Wednesday, the DIA are bugging me about last month's financial reports, not to mention the housing board is planning ...

MARIANNE:

Never mind, David. I didn't think so. One last chance.

NOBLE:

Actually that's his second-last chance.

DAVID:

I can't ...

Marianne starts to leave with Noble. She grabs Andrew and gives him a big bear hug.

MARIANNE:

Blue.

ANDREW:

(
Grunting
) Oh, there goes a rib.

MARIANNE:

Look after my garden, Blue, and don't get too cocky.

MARTHA:

Don't use dirty words in my house.

MARIANNE:

(
To Angie
) Look after him, okay?

Marianne approaches Martha. They talk in Ojibway.

MARIANNE:

Gdo-zaagin, Mamaa. [I love you, Mom.]

MARTHA:

Baa-aang waamzin. Ndo-dawendaan ji-bi-mnogiiweyan, ndaan. [You be careful out there. I want you to come home safe and sound, daughter.]

MARIANNE:

(
To David, in English
) I hoped you were alive, David, but I refuse to stay here and bury you.

DAVID:

Marianne, don't go.

MARIANNE:

David, don't stay.

She disappears out the door with Noble.

NOBLE:

I only wanted breakfast.

He exits. Martha fights back tears.

MARTHA:

Keep the beer moving.

Angie and Andrew leave to get more beer.

DAVID:

I didn't think she'd actually do it.

MARTHA:

In my life I've seen two kinds of Indians, those that are happy doing what they do, and those that feel they should be happy but aren't. I think it's every person's journey in life to choose which one they are.

DAVID:

Where do white people fit in?

MARTHA:

God only knows. You still got me.

DAVID:

I guess I do.

Then the phone rings.

MARTHA:

That phone again. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. My legs are beginning to hurt and you know what they say—once the knees go, your bootlegging career is over. (
Picks up the phone
) Ahneen. (
Pause
) Yes he is. (
To David
) David, it's the band manager. He wants to talk with you.

She holds out the phone as David grabs it. Angie and Andrew come back into the kitchen.

MARTHA:

You two, come here now.

DAVID:

Yes sir. (
Pause
) Today? But it's a holiday. (
Pause
) I'm really not up to it, I'd rather come in tomorrow if it's possible.

MARTHA:

Mudbin. [Sit down]

DAVID:

Really, I don't think I could handle finishing that report right at the present minute. Frank, can't it wait? (
Pause
) Yes I know it's black fly season in Moose Factory right now.

ANGIE:

Doesn't sound too good.

DAVID:

But … (
Pause
) But... (
Pause
) This isn't really fair, it's a holiday today. (
Pause, then begins to get angry
) You're supposed to be working on the report too, Frankie. (
Pause
) Just a minute, Frankie, you finish the report and I think you know what you can do with it. And I've got one last word for you Frankie Baby, and I want you to think long and hard about it. F.O.A.D. FOAD!

ANDREW:

Foad?

DAVID:

Short for "fuck off and die."

MARTHA:

David!

DAVID:

Sorry Martha, but damn that felt good.

ANDREW:

Atta go David.

David starts running to the door.

DAVID:

If you'll excuse me, I gotta get going.

ANDREW:

Where?

ANGIE:

To Michigan!

DAVID:

That Camaro looks like it has balls, I can probably catch up to them before they hit the highway.

Angie catches him at the door.

ANGIE:

But David, what about all the beer we just put in there, and all the rest we are supposed to deliver? Please don't make me carry it back in. I'll steal the car first.

DAVID:

Damn, I forgot about that.

ANGIE:

Shouldn't we wait until dark to deliver it? Isn't that how they do it in the movies?

ANDREW:

Who are you?

DAVID:

I can't wait. I've got to go as soon as possible if I'm gonna catch them.

MARTHA:

But you promised us the car.

ANDREW:

What a fine bunch of bootleggers you are. You have absolutely no idea what you're doing. All right then, fine. If we're gonna do this, and this one time only, let's do this right.

DAVID:

Andrew, they're getting farther away. It's either now or never.

ANDREW:

Okay, let's think about this logically. That sign tipped off the police, so we'll have to disguise ourselves and cover our tracks. First of all, transportation. We want to avoid using any car that might be recognized as ours.

ANGIE:

The Camaro.

ANDREW:

Right. Fits perfectly, an unknown vehicle.

MARTHA:

Who would do that to the rear end of a car? It looks like it's in heat.

ANDREW:

And if we leave now, we can ...

DAVID:

No, I go alone. I don't want to have to bring you all the way back here.

Andrew studies David for a moment.

DAVID:

What are you looking at? What's he looking at?

MARTHA:

Blue, what are you looking at?

ANDREW:

Not much to work with.

DAVID:

What?

ANDREW:

David, delivering bootleg beer in a souped up '75 Camaro. Not exactly an inconspicuous sight. He'll stand out like a sore thumb.

DAVID:

A sore what?

ANDREW:

I got an idea. Come on.

They exit to Andrew's room. Angie and Martha remain in the kitchen.

ANGIE:

Think David will catch Marianne?

MARTHA:

Probably.

ANGIE:

Ma'am, as you may have noticed, your son and I have become quite close over the last 24 hours.

MARTHA:

I noticed.

ANGIE:

Of course you did. I hope you approve. He's a very special and intelligent boy.

MARTHA:

I know he is.

ANGIE:

Of course you do. What I mean to say is I like him a lot, and I think he likes me. We would like to see more of each other in the future. We are, after all, practically next-door neighbors.

MARTHA:

I know you are.

There is an uncomfortable silence. Back in the bedroom, Andrew is rummaging through some clothing.

DAVID:

What do you mean I have to wear a disguise? You're blowing this all out of proportion, don't you think?

ANDREW:

Wasn't it you who said something earlier about 30 to 60 days? That can still be arranged, you know. Oh, here it is, try this on.