The Book of Awesome (30 page)

So basically our bowling ball, salt, and peppercorns are flying in the fast lane around a ridiculously giant racetrack galaxy called the Milky Way with billions and billions of other bowling balls, salt grains, and peppercorns.

But are you ready for the craziest part:
That’s just our galaxy.
Guess how many giant racetrack galaxies are in all of outer space? Oh, not many. Just
more than we can possibly count
. Honestly, nobody knows how many galaxies are out there in the big blackness. All we know is that every few years somebody stares out a little farther and finds millions more of them just shining way out in the void. We don’t know how deep it goes because our rocket ships don’t blast off that far and our thickest, fattest telescopes can’t see that far.

Now, all this space talk might make us feel small and insignificant, but here’s the thing, here’s the big thing, here’s the biggest thing of all:
Of the millions of places we’ve ever seen, it appears as though Earth is the only place that can support life.
The only place! Oh sure, there could be other life-giving planets we haven’t seen yet, but the point is that Earth could easily have been a clump of sulfur gas, be lying in darkness forever, or have winters that dip a couple hundred degrees and last twenty years like Uranus.

On this planet Earth, the only one in the giant dark blackness where anything can live, we ended up being
humans
.

Congratulations, us!

We are the
only
species on the
only
life-giving rock capable of love and magic, architecture and agriculture, jewelry and democracy, airplanes and highway lanes. We’re the only ones with interior design and horoscope signs, fashion magazines and house party scenes, horror flicks with monsters, guitar jams at concerts. We got books, buffets, and radio waves, wedding brides and roller coaster rides, clean sheets and good movie seats, bakery air and rain hair, Bubble Wrap and illegal naps.

We got all that. But people, listen up.

I’m sorry but it’s true.

Every single person you know will be dead in a hundred years—the foreman at your plant, the cashiers at your grocery store, every teacher you’ve ever had, anyone you’ve ever woken up beside, all the kids on your street, every baby you’ve ever held, every bride who’s walked down the aisle, every
telemarketer
who’s called you at dinner, every politician in every country, every actor in every movie, everyone who’s cut you off on the highway, everyone in the room you’re sitting in right now, everyone you love, and you.

Life is so great that we only get a tiny moment to enjoy everything we see. And that moment is right now. And that moment is counting down. And that moment is always, always fleeting.

You will never be as young as you are
right now
.

So whether you’re enjoying your first toothpicked turkey cold cuts and marveling at apples from South Africa, dreaming of strange and distant relatives from thousands of years ago, or staring into the blackness of
deep, deep space
, just remember how lucky we all are to be here right now.

If you feel that sense of wonder and beauty in all the tiny joys in life, then you’re part of an international band of old souls and optimists, smiling on sidewalks, dancing at weddings, and flipping to the other side of the pillow. Let’s all high five and keep thinking wild thoughts,
dreaming big dreams
, and laughing loud laughs.

Thank you so much for reading this book.

And thank you for being

AWESOME!

And away we go!

To the Sun, thanks for giving us heat, life, and pretty sunsets.

To my old campus newspaper Golden Words, thanks for being a source of good times for four years at college. Shout-outs to Jay Pinkerton and Mike Jones for their guidance and ideas.

To the New York Times, thanks for blowing my mind every Sunday. I just can’t get enough.

To Sam Javanrouh, thank you for taking photos for this book. The way you see the world is stunningly beautiful. To fellow bloggers Frank Warren of PostSecret, Jen Yates of Cake Wrecks, Christian Lander of Stuff White People Like, Ben Huh of FAIL Blog, Gala Darling of
galadarling.com
, David Cain of Raptitude, and Adam Fuhrer of PICDIT, thanks for showing me the virtual ropes.

To Mu, Andy, and everyone at Digg, thanks for introducing me to your wild world. Thanks to Drew Curtis at Fark for believing in old, dangerous playground equipment.

Thanks to many great teachers I’ve had over the years, especially Mr. Olson, Mr. Mac, Mr. Howes, Ms. Eales, Ajay Agrawal, Mike Wheeler, Frances Frei, and André Perold. Special thanks to Ms. Dorsman for pushing me out of my shell in third grade.

To Canada and the United States, thanks for letting me live in you. I’m lucky to have enjoyed so many years with great people in both countries. Sure, y’all keep fine-tuning these ships, but so much of what you got going on is clicking jusssssst fine.

To all of Section A, especially Brian, Rob, Erik, and Ryan, thank you for the support. To my oldest friends, Scott, Mike, Rye, Chad, and H, thanks for supporting me since I forced you to buy newspapers back in grade school, robbing you of many delicious Hot Lips and Swedish Berries. Special thanks to Chad for his beautiful off-the-menu brain.

To jdurley, Mike Dover, and Freddo, thank you for being a tremendous source of bright lightbulb ideas and great comments. Freddo, special thanks for your rock-solid advice and friendship through everything.

To everyone who has ever read, blogged, commented, emailed, MyFaced, Tweetered, or Spacebooked any part of 1000 Awesome Things around the electronical intertubes, thank you sincerely for your support.

To WordPress, thank you so much for hosting my site from Day 1. You give people all over the world a voice.

Thanks to many close friends who have supported me, especially Dee, Ryan, Gill, Drew, Joey, Alec, Danielle, Roz, Shiv, Arlene, Baxter, Dave, Angela, Bob, Jim, Andrew, Ryan, Kevin, and Agostino.

To Ivan, Matthew, Halli, Amanda, Beth, and everyone at AEB/ Putnam and Penguin Publishing, thank you for believing in this from the beginning. It’s been an absolute pleasure working with you.

To my editor, Amy Einhorn, you are a million percent amazing. I’m lucky to know you and even luckier to work with you. You’re something very, very special, Amy.

To everybody at William Morris Endeavor, especially Cathryn Summerhayes, Tracy Fisher, Raffaella DeAngelis, Michelle Feehan, Laura Bonner, Lauren Heller Whitney, Janelle Milanes, and the one and only superwoman, Erin Malone, thank you for changing my life. I am more grateful than you can know.

To Louis Sachar, thanks for writing Sideways Stories from Wayside School and getting a kid excited about writing.

To folded, scrunched-up jackets, thanks for propping up my head when I take illegal naps all over the place.

To Guy Ottewell, thank you for permission to use your Thousand-Yard Model with the bowling ball and peppercorns. For those who like Guy’s science experiments, check out
http://www.universalworkshop.com
.

To Conan O’Brien, Craig Ferguson, David Sedaris, Jerry Seinfeld, Oprah and Ellen, I admire your genius and passion.

To the Webby Awards, thank you sincerely for the recognition. I’m massively flattered and appreciative.

To Jim Davis, Bill Watterson, and Gary Larson, thanks for giving a nerdy kid with a bad haircut laughs before school.

Thank you to Reenah and Dina Kim for your support during this process. And to Chris, rest in peace my friend. We’ll all see you soon.

To anyone adding positive energy to the world, whether you’re helping folks in trouble, teaching kids to love life, or making strangers laugh, I admire you tremendously.

Thank you, Mom, Dad, and Nina. You gave me everything I’ve got and this is for you.

Finally, thank you to you. Thank you for reading this sentence. And this one. And this one. Thank you for this great trip together. Please feel free to send me your awesome anytime at [email protected] or PO Box 361, Station B, Toronto, ON M5T 2W2.

Take care, everybody.

Neil Pasricha works an office job in the suburbs, eats frozen burritos for dinner, and needs to go to the gym more. He’s just a regular guy who loves the smell of gasoline, sleeping on the cool side of the pillow, and peeling an orange in one shot.