The Black Feather (15 page)

“I’d be happy to oblige.”

Thad slid off his perch. He reached for Suzanne’s hand, but she moved away.

“You look cold. A hot shower may be just the thing you need to warm you up.”

“It does sound good,” she agreed.

“I know something that sounds even better.”

She looked at him. “What’s that?”

“That we share the shower.”

“I invited you to my room to bathe and sleep. It wasn’t an invitation for anything else.”

Suzanne slumped down onto the bed and dragged her clothes off feeling too tired to shower. She slipped into her nightshirt and crawled beneath the quilts, shivering. She laid there waiting for Thad. The cold wasn’t the only thing making her tremble.  He climbed in beside her a few minutes later.

“God, you’re like ice,” he said pulling her against his nakedness. 

“I told you I don’t . . .”

“Relax. I just want to keep you warm while we both get some much needed shuteye.”

She had to admit she was grateful to have Thad there when her dreaded nightmare returned. He held her in his arms whispering reassuring words. Somewhere in the nooks and crannies of her mind Suzanne knew that voice – knew she had only to follow the sound, and she’d be safe. She settled more fully against him and drifted into a less troubled slumber.

They awoke facing each other. Some of the fatigue had lifted from their eyes. But a shadow of wariness still remained between them. How could it not? His entry into her life marked the beginning of events rivaling any soap opera. She would have written herself out of the script long ago if it had been in her power to do so. Thad wasn’t the author, but he had more experience in handling complex plots.

He wanted her to believe he wasn’t a nice man. Was that because he’d been forced to do bad things in the past as a result of his work? Suzanne knew he fought his attraction to her. Had he been tempted by other women on other jobs? He said his firm sometimes protected movie stars. She didn’t have to remind herself how beautiful most of them were. Not to mention, talented, rich, and able to give a man like Thad anything he could desire. She wondered if any of them had ever touched his heart.

Whether or not he’d succumbed to some famous woman’s charms was irrelevant. He was in her bed now. Suzanne had a feeling he was waiting for her to make the first move after her chilly reception last night. What would be more important, quality or quantity? Both, actually because once you had the best, the more you wanted to repeat the experience. She might never see Thad again once this job was finished. Wasn’t that reason enough to savor their time together?

She reached up and palmed his cheek.

“Do you believe in taking what you can get when you can get it because you may not have a chance to have it again?”

“You just said a mouthful, but to answer your question, yes I do. It’s practically my theme song.”

“I thought so,” she said and gave him a light kiss. “Would you like to sing it to me right now?”

His brows drew together.

“Let me make sure I understand you, so there won’t be any confusion. Am I seducing you, or are you seducing me?”

Suzanne sat up and pulled off her sleeping shirt. “How about we seduce each other?”

“That’ll work,” he said, tugging her down into his arms.

Fifteen

Suzanne lay with her head resting on Thad’s chest. She heard the steady rhythm of his heart thumping strongly against her ear. He kissed the top of her head and brushed fingertips down her cheek.

“Now that’s what I call a very nice welcoming home gift.”

“You call this home?” she said looking around the little room.

“I haven’t had a real home in years, so yeah.”

Suzanne positioned herself, so she could see his face. He sounded like a man who’d been lonely for a very long time. Suzanne understood why her father doubted Thad because he didn’t know him. But she should have shown more faith. Thad had proved to her more than once that he may have lied about a lot of things, but never about wanting to keep her safe.

“Sometimes having a home isn’t all that great.”

Thad threaded his fingers through her hair.

“I know. Your parents didn’t do a very good job.”

“Neither did James.”

“I hope you got even with him somehow.”

“I couldn’t do anything really big, but I did some stuff when I suspected he was cheating on me.”

“Like what?”

She shrugged.

“Oh, little things like putting too much hot sauce in his food, letting the cat pee in his car, cleaning the toilet with his toothbrush, and . . .”

“Cleaning the toilet with his toothbrush?” Thad narrowed his eyes at her. “I left my toothbrush in plain sight for you to help yourself when you were sore at me. Is there something I should know?”

Suzanne laughed.

“No, no. I swear on my favorite pair of shoes that I never did that to you.”

He grunted.

“I’ll have to take your word for it, but I might watch when you clean the bathroom.”

“Okay. Maybe we can make a real home together some day?” she said, keeping her tone light.

“My life hasn’t exactly been very conducive for putting down roots, Suzanne.”

His disappointing reply tumbled her back into the old familiar crater of self-doubt. It seemed no matter what she did, she couldn’t get him to make any real promises for a future with her unless it involved his job. He’d obviously do the physical part of a relationship, but shied away from any deep emotional commitment.

Embarrassed, she rolled away and turned her back, so he wouldn’t see how much his words hurt.

“I misunderstood. I thought you sounded as lonely as I feel. But then, why would you want to spend any more time with me than necessary? I’m just another job and another faceless person in the crowd.”

Thad grabbed her shoulders forcing her to face him again.

“Stop talking about yourself as if you’re a nobody, damn it!”

“I try not to, but you know the saying about some days you’re the statue and some days you’re the pigeon. Well, most of my life I’ve felt like the statue, especially when it comes to my dad and mom.”

“I hate what your parents have done to your self-esteem, but you have to get over that now. You think I don’t see you? Well, you’re wrong. You are more special than you know. There may be millions of grains of sand on a beach like the one last night, but it only takes one grain inside an oyster to make a pearl. You are that pearl, Suzanne.”

Her lips formed a silent O, awed by his words.

“I can’t promise a future with you because I don’t know what the future is going to be. But that doesn’t mean I don’t fantasize about being with you, especially at night lying in the dark missing you so damn much that I ache for your touch.”

“Oh Thad, I’ve ached for you, too. Maybe we can start by taking baby steps. You told me a lot about yourself. I’d like to know more.”

“What kind of more were you thinking about?”

She looked into his eyes.

“Well, let me see. Where do you live when you’re not on a case?”

“Motels, hotels, unless it becomes necessary for me to stay at a client’s home.”

“What about friends? Is your relationship with Linc and Maya for real?”

“It’s real. We met in college and have remained friends over the years. The connection is as important to them as it is to me. But we don’t get a chance to be together too often. At least not under what you would call normal circumstances.”

“How about family? I know you’re an only child and your parents died. Are there other relatives?” 

“No.”

She raised her brows. “Nobody?”

“None that I know about. My parents were both only children themselves. Their parents died before I was born. I never heard them talk about any other family.”

“So not a lot of leaves on your family tree just like mine.” She wiggled herself into a more comfortable position.

“Do you remember telling me you weren’t a nice man?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you say that because you’ve had to do some unpleasant things in your work?”

“You’re getting into some dicey territory now,” he said, shifting his eyes away from her.

“I know what happened to those men chasing us in Belize. I assumed that was unusual. I mean, guarding movie stars surely doesn’t involve getting shot at, unless you get in the way while they were posing for a camera on the red carpet,” she joked. “It seems like your job would be kind of glamorous.”

“I don’t get those types of assignments,” he said looking at her. “I generally get the messier ones.”

“I take that to mean the more dangerous cases. You remind me of those guys in the shoot ‘em up movies. That kind of thing never seemed real to me until you were forced to kill the men in Belize. Have there been others?”

“It’s not something I like to talk about.”

“I suppose not. But if you’re doing what you have to do to protect a person or yourself, that doesn’t make you a bad man. It just means you’re good at your job.”

“I try to tell myself that. It doesn’t always work. But thanks for your vote of confidence.”

“Why don’t you quit and do something else for a living?”

“I never had enough incentive.”

Suzanne framed his face, splaying her slender fingers over his cheeks.

“I know we have to wait until this situation we’re in right now is finished. But you should know when it’s over I’m going to do everything I can to give you that incentive.”

“You’re already doing a pretty good job of it,” he said and kissed her. 

The kiss was long and sweet and probably would have led to something more intimate if Suzanne’s stomach hadn’t chosen that moment to let out a loud rumble. Thad laughed and pulled away.

“Talk about killing a guy’s romantic notions.”

She grimaced.

“I’ve been so nervous lately I’ve hardly eaten. I guess that’s my stomach’s way of letting me know I’m feeling better now.”

“I haven’t had a decent meal myself in the last few days. What do you say we go out for a bite?”

“I won’t say no to that, but I’m going to have to explain you to the management here.”

“Tell them I’m your boyfriend. We had a little tiff. We made up over the phone, and I decided to join you here.”

“That ought to be interesting.”

He gave her a puzzled look.

“Because?”

“Aaron told them he was my boyfriend and wanted me to stay here while he went away on a business trip. I’m afraid if it looks like I’m having different men coming and going out of my room the owners are going to ask me to leave. Or hang a red light over my door with a sign, Open for Business.”

Thad chuckled.

“That might not be such a bad idea. The leaving part, that is.”

“You want us to go to another place?” she asked, surprised.

“Now that you mention it, yeah I do.”

“Why? Aaron and Heather are the only people who know I’m here.  No one’s going to find me.”

“I found you.”

“Not everyone is as clever as you. How did you find me, by the way?”

“I knew damn well Heather was lying about not knowing where you were, so I used my agency to help me track down her husband when I called his work and found out he’d asked for a few days off.”

“I still don’t know how you managed it.”

Thad shrugged.

“I knew the kind of car he drove and the license plate. He left a paper trail because he charged all your meals, rooms, and gas.”

“Your agency is able to access credit card information? It sounds more like the FBI or CIA.”

“We do our best, and it’s probably only a matter of time before the Montanes track you down, too.”

Mentioning the Montanes made her shudder.

“You convinced me. What do I tell the people here?”

Thad decided it’d be better if he snuck away from the inn unnoticed while Suzanne checked out on her own. She told the owners her boyfriend had taken ill on his business trip, and she was going to join him. Lies and more lies. Where would it all end? Suzanne was beginning to feel every time she lied she was taking something away from the truth of who she really was. Every lie felt like a nick on her soul.

She wondered if people asked for forgiveness for their wrong doings would that guarantee them a better afterlife than people who said they had no regrets for the way they lived or the things they’d done. Was her father really sorry that she’d been dragged into his conspiracy? Or did he have a clear conscience because he believed he was doing the right thing?

Suzanne knew there was a very good chance she might never find out because of what happened at his motel. She still grappled with the nagging worry that her dad was too wounded to get in contact with her. Thad looked at her closely when she joined him.

“You look upset. Did you have trouble checking out?”

“No. That went fine. I can’t seem to get rid of the feeling that Dad seriously injured himself at his motel. It’d take more than a few nicks to leave a bloody trail like I saw in that bathroom.”

“Hopefully Muriel would get in touch with you if your father was in a bad way.”

“She hasn’t so far, unless she’s worse off than my dad. God, I didn’t think of that until now.”

Suzanne pressed a hand to her head.

“I’ve worried myself into a headache.”

Thad gripped her elbow.

“You’re also hungry. Come on, let’s get out of here and find something to eat. Who knows, you may get that phone call by the time we finish.”

Suzanne’s phone did ring while they were in the restaurant, but it wasn’t her father. She wrinkled her nose and looked across the table at Thad.

“It’s Heather. She calls two or three times a day. You’d think it was her dad who’s missing.”

“Don’t tell her I’m with you and don’t mention that you checked out of the inn.”

“Okay.” Suzanne answered the persisted chime. “Hi.”

“It’s about time. What took you so long?” Heather demanded.

“I’m eating and needed to swallow a mouthful of food.”

“Nice to know stuffing your face is more important than taking my call.”

Suzanne’s lips tightened. “That’s not a very nice thing to say, Heather. I need to eat.”

“All right, all right, don’t get all snippy on me.”

Suzanne felt like mentioning she wasn’t the one who sounded snippy. But she wasn’t in the mood to argue. She also wasn’t in the mood to listen to her friend’s badgering her yet again about forgetting something that could help lead them to her father.

“I still haven’t heard from Dad. I keep telling you I’ll let you know if and when I do.”

“He expected you to be smart enough to find him before. Maybe that’s what he’s waiting for this time. Think, Suzanne. Where might he go? You must know some of his haunts. I don’t think you’re trying hard enough. Aaron left you there in that inn, so you’d have the peace and quiet to concentrate. We can’t believe you haven’t come up with something.”

“I’ve told you I’ve been trying. May I remind you that I’m the one who’s had her life turned upside down? Do you really think I haven’t whacked my brain over this? If I had anything to say that might be useful you would have heard about it by now.”

“Calm down. I’m just trying a little tough love. I thought if I could get your adrenaline going, it might kick something loose. Aaron wants me to remind you not to call anyone else and don’t talk to strangers.”

“I know, I know, zero contact. Stop worrying. You’re the only people I’ve talked to on the phone and I haven’t even looked at a stranger.”

She gave Thad a little smile across the table feeling proud of her clever evasion.

“Good. Keep it that way. I’ll check back with you later today.”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d rather you didn’t. You’re making me feel more uptight with all your calls. I know you mean well, but every time the phone rings it makes me feel worse.”

“How do you think I feel when you never have anything worthwhile to tell me? Yours isn’t the only life that’s been turned upside down, Suzanne. Aaron and I are putting ourselves in danger to help you. The least you can do is put up with a few phone calls from us.”