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GRAND MASTER ACCEPTANCE SPEECH

(Given by Connie Willis at the Nebula Awards Banquet in Washington, D.C., on Saturday, May 19, 2012)

As Barbra Streisand said when she won the Oscar, “Hello, Gorgeous!”

Those of you who know me

know that I faithfully watch the Oscars,

mostly for the clothes—

like that awful pink thing Gwyneth Paltrow wore a couple of years ago

and that thing with the giant red bow that Emma Stone wore this year,

but I also watch for the acceptance speeches

Like when Jack Palance dropped to the floor and started doing push-ups.

Or when Sally Field kept hugging her Oscar to her and saying,

“You like me, you really like me!”

No, we didn’t.

Or when James Cameron shouted, “I’m king of the world!”

And Richard Attenborough compared himself to Gandhi and

Martin Luther King, Jr.

All this research came in handy the last couple of weeks.

No, not to show me how to give a
bad
speech.

To show me how to do a good one.

Meryl Streep did it.

She gave a great one this year

when she won Best Actress for
Iron Lady
.

Emma Thompson did it.

John Wayne did it.

The guy from Flight of the Conchords did it, for heaven’s sake.

How hard can it be?

But it must be fairly hard

because there have been
lots
of bad speeches.

Now, when I say bad speeches,

I’m not talking about people being rambling and incoherent.

That’s to be expected.

They’re excited.

And I don’t mind if they get all choked up.

Crying is fine.

And so is putting on their reading glasses,

pulling out a list,

and thanking everybody they’ve ever known,

including the third-grade teacher

who cast them as the pumpkin in their school production of
Cinderella
.

I totally get that,

especially the part about the third-grade teacher,

although in my case

it was my sixth-grade teacher, who introduced me to
Little Women
,

and my eighth-grade teacher, who introduced me to the Blitz,

and my high school English teacher,

who took me to meet Lenora Mattingly Weber.

I wouldn’t be here without them.

And I wouldn’t be here without my BFFs—truly my Best Friends

Forever

Jim Kelly

and Sheila Williams

and Cynthia Felice

and Michael Cassutt

and Melinda Snodgrass

and John Kessel

and Nancy Kress

and without my BHE—Best Husband Ever, Courtney

and my DTD—Dearer than Daughter, Cordelia.

Without my WWCIA—Writer’s Workshop Comrades in Arms

Ed Bryant

and John Stith

and Mike Toman

and Walter Jon Williams

and my LSEs—Long-Suffering Editors

Anne Groell

and Gardner Dozois

and Ellen Datlow

and Liza Trombi

and Shawna McCarthy

and my FWAGMs—Friends Who Are Grand Masters (is that cool, or what?)

Robert Silverberg

and Joe Haldeman

and Fred Pohl

and all the wonderful people who’ve befriended me over the years

from Chris Lotts

to
Dr
. Neil Gaiman

and Rose Beetum

and Lee Whiteside

and Craig Chrissinger

and Patrice Caldwell and Betty Williamson

and SFWA

and all the great science-fiction people I’ve known,

some of whom are here

and some of whom—

Charlie Brown

and Ralph Vicinanza

and Isaac Asimov

and Jack Williamson—

aren’t.

As Meryl Streep said in her acceptance speech,

“The thing that counts the most is the friendship

and the love we’ve shared.

I look out here and see my life before my eyes.”

And I do:

—driving all night to the Chicago Worldcon with Cee

—eating chocolate donuts with George R.R. Martin

—and getting thrown out of the Tupperware Museum with Sheila Williams and Jim Kelly

—and driving Charlie Brown to Jack Williamson’s in Portales

—and getting thrown out of the Grand Ole Opry with Sheila Williams and Jim Kelly

—and sparring, onstage and off, with Mike Resnick and Bob Silverberg

—and laughing so hard at dinner with Gardner Dozois and Eileen Gunn that I snorted a piece of lettuce up my nose

—and staying up all night eating red pistachios and talking about the Nebulas with Jim Kelly and John Kessel

—and having wonderful conversations about

Star Wars

and Shakespeare

and sangria

and the Algonquin Round Table

and
Primeval

and the Marx Brothers

and how e-books are going to kill us

and what happens after we die

and meeting, oh, so many people,

making, oh, so many friends.

Now this is the place where the music starts to come up

and the winner starts talking faster and faster to get everything in

before they drag them off the stage,

and I’m going to do it, too,

because I have to thank the people to whom I owe the most:

—Robert A. Heinlein,

for introducing me to Kip and Peewee

and to
Three Men in a Boat

and to the whole wonderful world of science fiction

—and Kit Reed and Charles Williams and Ward Moore,

who showed me its amazing possibilities

—Philip K. Dick and Shirley Jackson and Howard Waldrop and William Tenn,

who taught me how science fiction should be written

—and Bob Shaw and Daniel Keyes and Theodore Sturgeon, whose stories:

“The Light of Other Days”

and “Flowers for Algernon”

and “The Man Who Lost the Sea”

taught me to love it.

I wouldn’t be here without them.

Or without you.

As Meryl Streep put it,

“My friends, thank you, all of you,

for this inexplicably wonderful career.”

Or, as Sally Field
should
have said it,

“I love you.

I really, really love you.”

Thank you for this inexplicably wonderful award.

To the public library

ORIGINAL PUBLICATION INFORMATION

“All Seated on the Ground” by Connie Willis, copyright © 2007 by Connie Willis. First appeared in
Asimov’s Science Fiction
, December 2007.

“At the Rialto” by Connie Willis, copyright © 1989, 2011 by Connie Willis. First appeared in different form in
Omni
, October 1989.

“Death on the Nile” by Connie Willis, copyright © 1993 by Connie Willis. First appeared in
Asimov’s Science Fiction
, March 1993.

“Even the Queen” by Connie Willis, copyright © 1992 by Connie Willis. First appeared in
Asimov’s Science Fiction
, April 1992.

“Fire Watch” by Connie Willis, copyright © 1982, 2010 by Connie Willis. First appeared in different form in
Asimov’s Science Fiction
, February 1982.

“Inside Job” by Connie Willis, copyright © 2005 by Connie Willis. First appeared in
Asimov’s Science Fiction
, January 2005.

“The Last of the Winnebagos” by Connie Willis, copyright © 1988 by Connie Willis. First appeared in
Asimov’s Science Fiction
, July 1988.

“A Letter from the Clearys” by Connie Willis, copyright © 1982 by Connie Willis. First appeared in
Asimov’s Science Fiction
, July 1982.

“The Soul Selects Her Own Society: Invasion and Repulsion: A Chronological Reinterpretation of Two of Emily Dickinson’s Poems: A Wellsian Perspective” by Connie Willis, copyright © 1996 by Connie Willis. First appeared in
War of the Worlds: Global Dispatches
, ed. Kevin J. Anderson (New York: Spectra, 1996).

“The Winds of Marble Arch” by Connie Willis, copyright © 1999 by Connie Willis. First appeared in
Asimov’s Science Fiction
, October/November 1999.

BY CONNIE WILLIS

Lincoln’s Dreams

Doomsday Book

Impossible Things

Uncharted Territory

Remake

Bellwether

Fire Watch

To Say Nothing of the Dog

Miracle and Other Christmas Stories

Passage

Blackout

All Clear

The Best of Connie Willis

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

C
ONNIE
W
ILLIS
has received seven Nebula Awards and eleven Hugo awards for science fiction, and her novel
Passage
was nominated for both. Her other works include
Doomsday Book
,
Lincoln’s Dreams
,
Bellwether
,
Impossible Things
,
Remake
,
Uncharted Territory
,
To Say Nothing of the Dog
,
Fire Watch
,
Miracle and Other Christmas Stories
,
Blackout
, and
All Clear
. Connie Willis lives in Colorado with her family.

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