The Ashes of Longbourn (12 page)

             
When they arrived at Netherfield, Darcy carried her up to her rooms, placing her in her bed before tucking her in.  He then motioned for Mrs Hill to step to the sitting room.  Bingley, Jane and the Gardiners had followed Darcy up to the rooms and waited to hear what Darcy had to impart.

             
“She finally faced the loss she has suffered.  We spoke, quite openly, and she seems to be on the road to recovery.  She felt that I had abandoned her, and with her never having actually been taken to the graves and forced to accept the truth of their deaths, she had given up.  We discussed many issues. I believe she has begun to deal with her pain and fears, and when she realized I had been suffering from thinking her dead, she knew that she had not been abandoned.”

             
“She looked so peaceful when you brought her inside.” Jane said with a single tear trailing down her cheek.  “I have not seen her look so peaceful since the fire.”

             
“There is still a long road of recovery to come, but I think that she is past the worst of it.  She will need to have exercise as well as a proper diet to build her strength up.  We will need to begin small, as her appetite has become so small.  If she were to eat too much, I believe it would make her ill.  When is a physician to see her next?” Darcy asked.

             
“We have had numerous physicians, apothecaries, and surgeons to see her.  I believe that Mr Jones, the local apothecary, is due to come see her tomorrow.”

             
Darcy nodded his head.  “I will discuss with him how we should work her muscles and strengthen her arms and legs, as well as the rest of her body.  It will take a great deal of time, I am sure.  No matter what is needed, I will see that it is done.”

             
“Mrs Hill, would you stay with my sister and call for us when she wakes?” Jane asked.  Seeing the housekeeper nod, Jane returned her attention to Darcy.  “I am sure that all of you would enjoy some refreshments.  And Mr Darcy, we can have a bath drawn for you, as I am certain you might find it refreshing.”

             
Giving a slight chuckle, Darcy looked down on his dirty clothes.  “I believe you are correct, I am in need of some cleaning.”

             
Bingley slapped his hand down on his friend’s shoulder.  “Allow me to show you to your rooms then, my friend.”

             
                                          ~~ ** ~~

             
Elizabeth woke nearly three hours later.  The sky outside was quite dark and only the flickering of the fire burning in the hearth made any light. 
Was the day only a dream? Had William only been there in my mind?
She let out a sigh.  It had all been too good to be true. 

             
Turning her head towards the door, she saw a person sitting in the chair, appearing to be asleep.  She thought that it was merely one of the servants, as it was far too large a person to be Jane.  Feeling a tickle in the back of her throat, she wished for a glass of water, and, not wishing to wake the servant, she attempted to pick up the glass from the side table.  It had been so long since she had attempted to do anything of this manner on her own and the glass was quite heavy for her, causing it to slip from her hand and crash against the floor.

             
“Lizzy, what happened?” a man’s voice asked.  She knew this voice, as if the man was the source of life itself.  He quickly moved to the side of her bed.  “Are you well, my love?”

             
“You are truly here?” Elizabeth said as she reached out a hand to take hold of his.  “I thought I was dreaming.  William, please tell me that you are really here beside me.”

             
“Of course I am.  And I promised you that I would be for the rest of my life.  Are you hungry?  I can send for something for you to eat.”

             
“Have you eaten? Will you join me?” Elizabeth asked in a nearly pleading voice.

             
“I had some tea and biscuits earlier, as I wished to eat with you when you woke.  They just finished dining about an hour ago, so it should not be too difficult for the cook to warm up some of the food.”

             
“It is the first time in quite a while that I have had an appetite.  That is good though, is it not?”

             
“I am pleased to hear it.  We will need to go slowly.  Your stomach is most likely not able to handle too much food immediately.”  Darcy pulled the bell for a maid.  Mrs Hill entered the room and looked at the pair. Tears of joy were welling up in the elderly housekeeper’s eyes. 

             
“Miss Lizzy, it is a pleasure to see you like this.  I believe you have a little color in your cheeks tonight.”

             
Elizabeth held out her hand to the lady who had tended to her since she was a small child.  Mrs Hill stepped to the edge of the bed and took hold of the hand offered her, tears streaming down her cheeks openly.  Elizabeth suddenly remembered her behavior of late.  “Mrs Hill, please forgive me for my actions of late.  I was terrible to you and it was awful of me to treat you so. You have always been so kind and loving to me.”

             
“Miss Lizzy, I understand why you behaved as you did.  It does not matter now, as I can see you have returned to us.  And I cannot but thank the heavens for Mr Darcy returning to you.  He is truly a blessing.”

             
Darcy blushed.  “Thank you, Mrs Hill.  If you would not mind, I believe we are ready for some of the delicious food that Cook prepared this evening.  I remember the time I was here, the food was exceptional.”

             
The sound of a slight rumble alerted Darcy and Hill that Elizabeth was hungry.  Giving a slight giggle, Elizabeth looked at her dear, lifelong friend.  “I believe my stomach concurs with Mr Darcy’s opinion of wishing for food.”

             
As she wiped tears from her face, Mrs Hill nodded and smiled.  “I will be back as quick as a wink with food. I believe that there are even some of Miss Lizzy’s favorite cakes waiting for her to wake. Shall I make Miss Jane aware that you are awake?”

             
Elizabeth looked at Darcy before answering.  “Would you ask her to come see me?  I wish to speak with her.”

             
Darcy reached over and tucked a strand of hair, which was loose, behind her ear.  “And while we wait, I am sure that your aunt and uncle will wish to visit you for a moment.  I know they planned to turn in early tonight, as we had a long journey and their children were worn out from all of the travel.”

             
“It would be wonderful to see them.” Elizabeth said, and the sparkle in her eyes told Darcy and Mrs Hill that she meant it.

             
Within a few minutes, there was a knock on the door as Jane slowly opened it enough to peer inside.  “Are you up to visitors, my dear sister?”

             
Elizabeth nodded her head lightly.  She held out her hand to her beloved sister.  “Jane, my poor sister, I have abused you so terribly.”

             
“No, Lizzy, you have been through so much.  You needed to find your way back to us.  I am pleased to see the light in your eyes and the smile on your lips.”

             
Mr and Mrs Gardiner edged closer to the bed.  Seeing them, tears began to flow from Elizabeth’s eyes.  “Aunt Helen, Uncle Edwin, please come closer.”

             
There was no need for further encouragement.  Helen Gardiner reached her niece and embraced her gently.  “Oh, Lizzy, I am so pleased to see you. We have missed you terribly and I have so wished to be at your side.”

             
“You needed to be with your family, as the trip was so very important for Uncle’s business.  I pray that you enjoyed the sights there.  You will have to tell me all you have seen in Ireland.”

             
“We will.  There will be plenty of time to tell you all of the tales, including your little cousin, Angela, climbing in a tree and refusing to come down until her hair turned as red as the little girl with whom she played at one of the inns where we stayed.  She is quite impertinent, much like her favorite cousin.”

             
Elizabeth chuckled.  “I look forward to hearing all about it.  Perhaps it would be best to keep the children from here for now, as I do not wish to frighten them.”

             
Edwin took hold of his niece’s hand.  “My dear girl, we have spoken with them about you having been very ill.  They know that you will look different, and that they will need to be careful with you.  If we were to keep them from you, I believe that Jonathon would become worried that you have taken a turn for the worst.  We can ease them into this tomorrow, but it would be better for them to see you, even for a few moments.”

             
Mrs Hill returned carrying a tray filled with food for Darcy and Elizabeth.  The others bid them good night, each giving Elizabeth a kiss on her forehead and patting Darcy on the shoulder, before leaving the room.

             
The smell of the food was appealing to Elizabeth, causing her stomach to grumble again.  “Well, I had best feed my wild beast of a stomach before it leaps out of me to devour the room.”

             
“What would you prefer first?  There is some chicken, some boiled potatoes, bread, some beans, and some very delicious looking cakes.”

             
“As much as I wish to have the cakes first, it would be best to eat something else that would be more benefit to my body.  Perhaps some chicken and potato first, I can have the cakes left for a midnight snack.”

             
“That is a perfect suggestion, dearest.  I will help you tonight, but I hope that, after a few days of food nourishing you and giving you strength, you will be strong enough to hold your fork.  I know that you do not enjoy having someone feed you as if you were an infant.”

             
Blushing, Elizabeth looked at the tray rather than at Darcy.  “I have been behaving like a spoiled infant having tantrums the past few months, so I would very much like to return to being a young lady.  Thank you for realizing my desire to be able to do some things for myself.”

             
“Anything I can do for you, my dearest love.  Now, let us eat.”

             
                            ~~~~~~~ ** ~~~~~~~

Chapter 10

             
After eating what she could, Elizabeth began to drift off to sleep.  Darcy realized that she had only eaten half a dozen bites of chicken and nearly the same of potato, before she stated she was full, but to him, this was a miracle.  She was making great strides in this manner. 

             
As she slept, Darcy took note of her wounds.  The wound on her forehead had healed nicely, though there was an obvious scar.  Once she was stronger, well-nourished and spending more time outside the room, he was certain that the appearance would not appear so vivid.  Her arms and hands were so thin and frail, he feared causing her harm when he held them.  But hold them he would, always, as she was his beloved.

             
It was obvious that she had been indoors far too long.  Her skin held the color of a painted person on stage.  Some short visits outdoors each day would do her a world of good.  As she grew stronger, she could enjoy longer stays in the nature that she loves. 

             
Though it was highly improper, Darcy could not remove from her room while she slept.  He had spoken with the Gardiners, Bingley and Jane, explaining to them his irrational need to be at her side.  The mere thought of sleeping in a bed down the hall grasped his heart and made it difficult for him to breathe.  He knew that she was well enough to sleep the night without him by her side, but Darcy was fearful of Elizabeth disappearing from his life if he were to retire to his rooms.

             
Jane had been unhappy with the improper request, though she could see the difference in her sister.  Reluctantly, she gave her approval and insisted that Elizabeth’s maid remain in the room with them.  Darcy had a pillow and blanket brought to the room, as well as a second blanket, which he placed on the floor beside her bed.  He then lay down on the floor, falling asleep nearly as soon as his head touched the pillow.

             
The flames were building and had forced Elizabeth back from her bedroom door.  She woke Jane, and had nearly shoved her sister out the bedroom window.  As they made their way to the trellis, she looked below.  She could see Darcy in the distance, watching the fire raging at Longbourn, though not venturing closer.  When the explosion ripped through the house, Elizabeth could feel herself falling through the air.  Striking the tree, Elizabeth lay on the ground, looking for her beloved.  Darcy came through the crowd, looked down upon her with disgust, and then turned and walked to his horse, mounting before riding away.

             
Watching him turn away from her and leaving, Elizabeth cried out for Darcy to return to her.

             
Darcy woke to hear Elizabeth’s frightened voice crying out, pleading for him to return to her.  He moved so that his face was near her ear, whispering to her that he was with her, placing light kisses on her face.  “Dearest, I beg you to open your eyes.  I am here, my beloved, and will not leave your side.  Lizzy, please look at me.  I am with you.  It is a nightmare, dear one, nothing more.”

             
Elizabeth finally opened her eyes, seeing the man she loved at her side.  “William, you did not leave me?”

             
“No, my love, I did not.  I am here, beside you, and will remain so from this day forward.”

             
He gathered her into his arms and carried her to the chair by the fire.  Sitting in the chair, Darcy kept her in his arms, holding her to his chest.  The maid came to him, bringing a blanket to cover the two.  “It has been a few weeks since she has had a nightmare so bad.  Most nights she only weeps.”  It did not take long before Elizabeth returned to sleep.

             
“She has had nightmares since the fire?” He asked.  The maid nodded her head.  “It is time she felt secure enough to be able to sleep through the night.  I must admit that I have had nightmares for some time myself.  I will speak with her family in the morning.  If you would not mind, perhaps you could bring the foot stool.  We believe we will rest more comfortably here, holding onto each other.”

             
“Very well, Mr Darcy.” The girl said as she brought the stool to place under his feet.  “Is there anything else you will need?”

             
“No, that will do.  My thanks for your assistance, though. It is truly appreciated.”  Darcy watched the girl return to her chair in the corner of the room.  “I have not even thought to ask your name.”

             
“Betsy, Sir.  And if it is not too bold, I am pleased to know that you care for Miss Elizabeth so dearly.  She has always been a sweet lady, and after all that happened at Longbourn, it is a welcome sight to see you holding her and bringing comfort to her. I cannot but think highly of you for that.”

             
“I thank you, Betsy, for all that you have done for my fiancé.”  Seeing her surprise, Darcy smiled.  “I asked her this afternoon and she has accepted my hand.  You and the staff here have all taken such care of her and I cannot begin to tell you how I appreciate you for it.”

             
The rest of the night was spent peacefully, the couple securely in each other’s arms, drawing strength and comfort from one another.

             
When Jane entered the room in the morning, her eyes were drawn to the bed first.  Seeing it surprisingly empty, a confused Jane turned to the maid.  Betsy nodded with her head towards the couple in the chair.

             
Jane whispered to Betsy. “Did my sister have a nightmare last night?”

             
Betsy nodded her head.  “As soon as Mr Darcy reassured her that he was here and scooped her into his arms, Miss Elizabeth calmed and went back to sleep.”

             
A smile graced Jane’s face.  Darcy began to stir and his eyes took in his beloved’s sister watching him in this most improper manner.  Anyone would easily claim that Elizabeth was compromised, and that did not matter to Darcy.  He had decided to speak with her loved ones this morning about their marrying immediately.  As soon as they had landed in England, Darcy had sent his valet to London with a letter to his solicitors.  He wished papers drawn up for a marriage contract and his mother’s jewels to be brought to Netherfield.  Darcy had also taken a letter to apply for a special license to marry Elizabeth.  After learning of Elizabeth’s difficulties in sleeping and her comfort in his arms, Darcy decided to petition her uncle and sister for an immediate wedding so that he would legally have the right to sleep in her bed, holding Elizabeth to him to bring her comfort and security.

             
Elizabeth began to stir, and the first view as she opened her eyes was of Darcy smiling at her.  “Good morning, Mr Darcy.” She said with a smile.

             
“And good morning to you, my future Mrs Darcy, did you sleep well after the nightmare?”

             
“Being in your arms was so very warm and comforting.  I cannot remember the last time I felt so.”

             
Darcy nodded.  “I cannot remember the last time I felt comfortable as I did holding you all night.  You fit perfectly in my arms.”

             
Noticing they were not alone, Elizabeth blushed.  “Jane, forgive me.  I know that you do not approve of such conduct.”

             
“Lizzy, to see you so comfortable and knowing that you were able to rest after the nightmare, is more important to me than propriety.  I must admit that you are compromised and I believe it would be prudent that Mr Darcy marry you immediately.”

             
Shocked by her words, Darcy could not believe his good fortune.  “I accept your demands, Miss Bennet, as I was attempting to determine the best way to approach you with my own demand that I be allowed to marry Elizabeth today.”

             
Now it was Elizabeth’s turn to be shocked.  “William, I am not able to be a wife to you.  It would not be fair to you.”

             
“You promised me yesterday that you would marry me.  I am holding you to that promise.  I must admit to you that I have been unable to sleep since I heard of the fire.  Last night, holding you in my arms and in my heart, I slept well.  I want the right to hold you all night, every night, and sleep in the comfort of your embrace.  Please do not deny me such joy as to be able to hold you in my arms.”

             
“But William, I cannot…”

             
“I do not require you to perform wifely duties at this time, my love.  We both require the strength of the other’s embrace and touch to allow us to heal.  I wish to have that right with no one telling me it is improper.  Later in our marriage we will discuss wifely duties.  You may regain the use of your legs and the feeling in your body.”

             
“It has been so long, if it were a result of the bruising or injuries, it would be better by now.  I believe it is time to admit that my paralysis is permanent and accept the truth.”

             
“We can accept the truth for the time being, as the truth is in a constant state of change.  As to your wifely duties, this is what I expect of you.  First, that you love me. Second, that you consent to my being able to kiss you, hold you, assist you, and care for you. Thirdly, that you allow me to be a part of your recovery, keep no secrets from me as to your health, and allow me to see each and every scar and injury that you have sustained.  And finally, that you be at my side until the end of my days.  No one is guaranteed to have children; I know several wealthy families who have no children at all.  Your being able to walk is not mandatory.  Whether you are able to perform as other wives do is not mandatory.  We will speak in private with regards to that issue, as there are…ways…that we can still be man and wife.  I do not wish to discuss them until after we have spoken to Mr Jones today though.  Now, Elizabeth, do you find you can fill your duties as I have listed them?”

             
Elizabeth took hold of Darcy’s hand and brought it to her lips.  “I believe I am more than able to fulfill these requirements.  I will ask that you be patient with me when it comes to seeing my scars.  To be honest, I have not looked in a peer glass since the fire and fear how dreadful I look.”

             
“You are, and always will be, the most handsome woman of my acquaintance, with the most beautiful, fine eyes that I have ever seen.  When I walked in here for the first time yesterday, those eyes looked lifeless and cold.  Now, I see them beginning to sparkle again.   The woman I love is week, but is coming back to me. I do not wish for there to be anything hidden between us.”

             
Jane had edged back towards the door to give the couple some privacy when they realized she was no longer standing beside them.  “Jane, perhaps it would be best to have Mr Bingley and our aunt and uncle join us so we can further this discussion.”

             
“I was thinking the same thing.” Jane said with a smile.  “I shall return momentarily.”

             
Before Jane returned, Betsy had returned to the bedchamber with a tray for the couple.  “Mrs Hill suggested that the cakes that you did not have room for last night would taste good this morning until breakfast is ready, along with a pot of tea.”

             
“Mrs Hill has always been very intelligent on her care of my family, and I see that, even after I behaved so abominably, she still takes such good care of me.”  Elizabeth said as Darcy reached for the cakes, handing one to her. “William, you cannot eat with me sitting on your lap.  You can sit me down on the bed.”

             
“I am enjoying having you in my arms and do not wish to release my hold on you at the moment, Miss Elizabeth.  Besides, this is for you, I am having some tea, and then we can go to the breakfast room to join the others.”

             
Seeing some trepidation in Elizabeth’s eyes, Darcy kissed her lightly on the tip of her nose.  “You are beautiful, my love.  Do not fret over what you perceive others will think.  If you show confidence, no one will see you as anything less.”

             
“Very well, though I wish to have Mrs Hill and Betsy assist me in my toilet today.  It has been months since I was in the company of so many others, and outside this room.  Perhaps, due to my convalescence here, people have grown accustomed to seeing me as weak.  And I have allowed it as I did not care.”

             
“Well, then, you had best eat your cakes and then the ladies may assist you while I make myself presentable.”

             
                                          ~~ ** ~~

             
When Mr Jones was directed into the breakfast rooms that morning, he had expected that Jane and Bingley had wished to speak with him before his seeing Elizabeth in her bedchambers.  What he witnessed as he entered the room was nothing short of a miracle.

             
Elizabeth was seated at the table in her wheeled chair, a pleasant morning gown of dove grey for half mourning, her hair done in a simple style.  More than that, there was life renewed in her.  Her eyes sparkled ever so slightly, and her cheeks had a bit of color to them rather than the pasty death pallor she had taken the past few weeks.  The melancholia appeared to be lifting from her as well.