The Arrangement 5 (6 page)

I have no voice. I can’t breathe. I feel myself nod and then my world shifts. Sean’s hands are on me and I moan so loudly that he reaches up and puts his hand over my mouth. He looks me in the eye and shakes his head slowly, telling me to be silent. When Sean releases his hand, he lowers me onto the bench and falls to his knees.

Sean crawls toward me and nuzzles his face between my legs. I suck in air and throw my head back, careful not to make and sounds. Sean breathes me in before taking his hands and pushing my knees farther apart. He looks at me with those sinful eyes and then disappears between my legs.

His tongue strokes my hot folds with big greedy licks. I bite my lip to keep quiet and squirm in my seat. Sean’s hands come up and hold me still as he pushes his tongue in deeper. Somehow my legs end up over his shoulders and I’m holding his hair between my fingers, pulling his face toward me. I fight to remain silent. My hips rock slightly as Sean’s tongue devours me.

I make little sounds that drive him crazy and he pushes into me deeper. Butterflies float through my middle and tickle my stomach. Hot tendrils curl tighter and move through me. I can’t let go of him. Sean comes up for air and it makes me beg for more. He gives me a wicked grin before lavishing my lower lips with more wet kisses.

I rock against his mouth as he devours me. Neither of us makes a sound. I feel my body responding to his touches, climbing higher and higher. Every time Sean’s tongue thrusts inside me, I feel my body getting closer to the edge. Sean teased me so much that it’ll take next to nothing to tip me over the top. His tongue sweeps against me again and again.

I hold Sean against me, pushing my hips toward his mouth, wanting him to push me over the edge. But Sean slows his pace and pulls back. I whimper, as his kisses soften. He takes my hands from the side of his head and pins them by my hips on the bench and stops.

I buck my hips, desperately wanting the release, and beg him, “Please. Oh please.”

Sean smiles at me. He watches my face for a moment, and watches me breathe. My breasts strain against the bra and the nipple clips feel so tight. It makes me want him even more. Without warning, Sean dips between my legs again. He releases my hands and grips the curve of my ass, forcing my soft skin to his lips. I hold onto him and rock. Sean’s tongue dips into me over and over again, and I shatter. Every tightly wound coil inside of me breaks free as my body pulses uncontrollably. I breathe harder and harder, as he continues to draw out my pleasure. Sean’s tongue sweeps against me, dipping inside as I float away in bliss.

My hold on Sean loosens as his licking slows. When Sean pulls away, he stands and leans in, and sweeps his moist lips across my mouth. “That’s the second time this week I’ve watched you come and I didn’t get to fuck you either time.”

I laugh. There’s a lazy sated smile on my face. “You’re horrible.”

“You’re delicious.” He licks his lips slowly.

“Avery? Are you still in there?” Marty’s voice rings out and suddenly I’m fully alert. I press my finger to my lips and hope Sean doesn’t say anything.

I clear my throat and try to sound normal.
“Yeah. I’ll be up in a second.”

“Okay, just checking. It’s been a while.” His voice is so close. I know he’s right on the other side of the door. I don’t want to explain Sean, and I know Marty will kill me if he knows what I just did.

Sean is quietly watching me as I lie to one of my best friends. My eyes pinch shut. “Sorry. I found something else I wanted to try. I’ll be right up.”

“Yeah,” Marty says, but his voice doesn’t sound right. I think he knows, but Marty walks away without another word.

I sigh and sit down hard on the little bench and bury my face in my hands. Sean is standing, looking down at me. “I don’t like lying to him.”

“Then don’t.”

I laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “I can’t. Marty and Mel don’t want me around you. They think you’re going to…” my voice trails off and I look up at him.

Sean finishes the sentence for me. “Hurt you.”

I nod. “It’s more than that, though. Mel doesn’t even want me to be your friend. Maybe that’s because she knows that I can’t. Damn it, Sean. Things can’t be like this.” I stand and pull on my panties. I take the clips off and put them back in the black case. I finish getting dressed.

While I’m dressing, he says nothing. Sean just leans against the back wall of the dressing room with his hands behind his back. When I look over at him, there’s a pensive expression on his face. I throw my purse on my shoulder before grabbing the black box and holding it out to Sean.

He doesn’t move. He doesn’t pull his hands out from behind his back and take them. Instead he shakes his head. “No, you need those. They complete your outfit for work. Wear them.”

My stomach dips. How can he act so detached? Sean’s talking about another guy having sex with me, and it’s like he doesn’t care. “What are you doing?”

Sean straightens. His eyes narrow as he looks at me. I have no idea what he’s thinking. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do. Don’t give me that crap. How can you possibly be okay with sharing me?”

“I’m not okay with sharing you. I don’t like it at all, but I can’t ask you to stop. It’s something you need. I understand that. The guy that’s always drooling on your shoulder, I can’t stand.” He’s so frustratingly calm that I want to punch him in the face. Sean blinks at me like I’m crazy.

“You don’t want me hanging out with Marty, but I can go fuck a client?” Sean nods slowly. His dark hair falls forward with the movement. Sean looks at his shoe before returning his gaze to my face.

“You’re lying.” I step toward him and get up in his face. Sean’s lips are a breath away. His eyes are intently focused, our gazes lock. “You don’t want to share me at all. You’re trying to get me fired.”

“I could have kept you. I didn’t.”

“Things got too serious and you chickened out.”

“Your perception of reality is skewed, Miss Smith. You better blink and wake up from that dream of yours.”

I laugh once, hard. He’s pushing every button I have and I don’t know why. Sean does this every time I mention anything about labeling what we are. I reel in my anger and cut my gaze to the floor. When I look back up at him, I breathe, “You’re the one who needs to stop dreaming, Mr. Jones. One day I won’t be there when you need me, I won’t magically show up, and I won’t give you another chance.”

Sean doesn’t blink. I’m lost in his eyes for a moment. There’s something there, a wall that I can’t get past. I wonder if he’ll ever let me in, if he’ll ever tell me what happened to him that made him this way. Sean finally looks away. He lowers his head and steps back. His silence irritates me. Sean doesn’t offer any explanation or anything.

I make an annoyed sound and reach for the door. Just as my hand lands on the knob, Sean takes my wrist. I look back at him. Sean doesn’t lift his gaze. Instead he stares at my hand, in his grip. “There’s no future for us, but I don’t want to let you go.”

“Then, change your future. Let someone in. You’re doing this to yourself and I was stupid enough to go along with it.” Sean looks up at me and I’m screwed. All my resolve melts and washes away because there’s genuine fear in his eyes. He’s afraid he’s going to lose me. “Sean…”

He nods slowly. “I’m trying, I swear to God, I am. I haven’t—I’m trying to let you in, Avery. Don’t give up, not yet. Come by my place after work.”

I smile sadly and shake my head. “That’s a really bad idea.”

“You said to change, so I’m changing. I’m trying. I want to hang out with my friend after work. We’ll have ice cream and watch movies. You can bitch about your boss or do whatever you want. I won’t even try to seduce you.”

I smirk. “Sean—”

He rubs his thumb over the back of my hand and says, “Please, Avery. Give me more time.”

I’m a sucker. His words crumble what’s left of my will.
“All right. I’ll see you later.”

He nods and kisses the back of my hand. Before I step outside, I turn back and ask, “Are you, uh, still tormenting hookers for fun?”

Sean gives me a strange look, then he steps toward me. “If you mean, will I be having company before you come over, the answer is yes. I won’t do those things with you, but I still need it.”

I lower my gaze. It feels weird. I knew he didn’t stop. I just wished he had. I wished that I was enough to pull Sean back from that, but I guess I’m not. There’s too much darkness in him.

Sean rubs the back of my hand lightly. “It’s better this way, right? We both get what we need, and share the best part of us with each other.”

I nod in agreement, but I don’t agree. The thing that pulled me to Sean was the darkness, the enormous stain on his soul, and the reason was simple—it matches mine. Sometimes I feel like we’re linked, like our pain is so intense when we’re alone, but when we come together it cancels out. Maybe I’m dreaming. Maybe it’s not really like that. Maybe we’re both destined to be alone.

CHAPTER 10

I blink and look up at Miss Black like she has two heads. “You want me to see Henry again?”

Miss Black is standing by the glass table in the corner. I’m seated and staring at Henry’s file. He was really sweet, but I don’t understand why I haven’t been reinstated. Henry wasn’t into
sex, he just wanted a date for a business meeting.

Miss Black touches her temple gingerly, like I’m giving her headache. Gabe walks by slowly and shakes his head once, very carefully, so Miss Black doesn’t see. I’m not sure what he means, so I take it as a sign to shut up, tell Miss Black thank you, and get the hell out of there.

“Avery, quite honestly, I don’t know what to do with you. Your first client is stalking you and your second client appears to be equally infatuated with you.”

“Mr. Ferro isn’t stalking me.”

Miss Black turns and raises a perfectly plucked brow. I shut my mouth, and she continues. “I don’t know what is going on with you. Either, you’re very good at your job or you’re a train wreck. There’s no middle ground with you.

“Gabe watched you manage the disastrous date and said you handled it extremely well. All parties left the restaurant without killing each other. Actually, Gabe said both men left
happy
. How you did that is mindboggling, because whenever we speak, it seems like you have no idea what you’re doing. It’s almost as if you’re completely inept right up until the moment that you’re thrown into the situation. Frankly, it makes me nervous, which is why I’m handing you back to Mr. Thomas.

“This isn’t for arm candy this time, Miss
Stanz. It’s the full package. I want to remind you that your preference sheet has no limits. Do you want to update it?”

My heart is pounding. Gabe’s warning is playing through my mind. I can’t lose this job. I shake my head. “No, I’ll leave it.”

Miss Black smiles smoothly, like she’s pleased. “There are only two women who work with me that have their preferences wide open, and you’re one of them. I’m pleased with your decision. Remember to wear your bracelet. Have you been taking your birth control pills?” I nod. I’m not an idiot. “Good. I don’t want you knocked up just when you get the hang of things.

“Gabe will be discretely overseeing the first part of your evening, tomorrow. Check in afterward. If you do well, I’ll give you another client this weekend. Do you have any questions?”

I shake my head and keep my eyes down. My fingers twitch by my sides. I’m nervous. This whole thing makes me anxious. It’s real now, so much more so than when I accepted Sean as a client. I’ve agreed to be with two different men this weekend, and to do anything they want. I must have lost my mind.

Miss Black hands me a card. “This is the fee for tomorrow evening. Assuming you complete this contract, you’ll be paid the next morning. The rate is higher because of your
preference sheet, and because your services become increasingly expensive if the same client keeps asking for you.” Miss Black snaps her fingers and turns. She strides toward her office, saying, “Follow me.”

When she shuts the door, I stand in the middle of the room. Miss Black sits behind her desk. She looks stressed. “Come on. We don’t have all night. Show me what you’re going to wear tomorrow.”

“The dress is for the date and…” I slip off the tight red cocktail dress and show her the lingerie. My heart is pounding. This feels so strange. I thought it would get easier as I came in here more often and talked to her, but it’s getting more uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because my outfits are becoming more
hookerish
and less
Averyish
.

Miss Black’s eyes sweep over me as I turn once. When I look back at her, she laughs and shakes her head. “You do some things perfectly. This is perfection. I like the crystals. If you had more, you’d look like a showgirl, but just the way they are is classy. Well done.” After opening a desk drawer, Black
shoos me. I don my dress and bolt.

When I get to the elevator, I press the button and wait. When the doors open, Gabe is inside. He doesn’t say anything as we ride down, but he walks me outside.

When we walk through the door, he says, “You’re on thin ice with her. Be careful.” He nods at me once and walks away.

I know I have to make Henry the happiest man
alive tomorrow night. I just don’t know how to do it.