The Apartment (Apartment #1) (37 page)

Not wanting to set her down until he was poised to thrust inside her body, Ethan pinned her up against the wall by the door as he fished his key out of his pocket, which pressed his body even more firmly into her and made her cry out with the ache he was creating. She couldn’t stop herself from grinding back into him and leaning forward, biting his neck to stifle her scream.

“Fuck!” he snarled, shoving the door open finally and kicking it closed behind them, spinning around quickly to slam her against it. “Did you just fucking
bite
me?” He didn’t think he’d ever been so turned on in his life.

In answer, she simply grunted and bit him again on the other side, well past the point of words. Dragging her tongue up the side of his neck, she sucked his earlobe between her lips before clamping her teeth down and biting that, too.

The guttural moan that ripped from his throat startled both of them.

Grabbing her roughly, he kissed her so hard it was almost painful, his need for her eclipsing any other thought in his mind. He turned and walked with her, stumbling into the bedroom and kneeling on the bed, silently cursing himself for never buying any more furniture. He would have liked to just fuck her on a couch or a chair in the heat of the moment, rather than always needing to go into the bedroom or risking her discomfort on the hardwood floors.

Dropping her on the mattress, he immediately went to work on the zipper of her jeans, needing to be inside her body more than anything else in the entire world at that moment. He knew it would not be sweet. He knew it would not be slow. He was consumed with a driving urge to claim, to conquer. Nothing else would be right in the world until he felt himself pumping his hot seed deep inside her as she shattered around him.

By the frantic way that she tore at his clothing, she apparently agreed.

When she was finally nude, he leaned back on his knees long enough to rip his shirt over his head and unbutton his jeans, stopping only briefly to gaze at her porcelain skin in the darkness. Just the sight of her underneath him again made his body quake with need. He pushed his jeans down over his hips, barely enough to free his throbbing erection before he fell on her with a loud growl.

“Fuck, I need you,” he moaned into her breasts as he licked and sucked them, lining himself up at her entrance quickly before driving into her deeply. Her scorching wet heat engulfed him, stretching to accommodate his girth as he moved in her. They both cried out at the contact, her inner walls gripping him tightly.

He paused long enough to catch her gaze in the dark. “Say it.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist, grasping his firm ass and pulling him further inside her. “Ethan,” she gasped as she thrust up to meet him.

“Yes!” he growled loudly, completely overcome with the primal feeling of claiming her. Something about hearing her say his name while he was finally buried deep inside her body set him off like nothing ever had before. “More!” he growled, shoving himself inside her to the hilt, over and over again, kissing and sucking her tender skin everywhere he could reach, unable to touch her in enough places at once to satisfy him.

She kept a firm grip on his toned cheeks, digging in her nails so hard at one point that it hurt, pulling him inside her eagerly, deeper and deeper. “Ethan,” she would cry out with every thrust, feeling him hit places inside of her that she didn’t even know she had. “Ethan … Ethan … Ethan … Ethan!”

His growls and snarls grew louder and louder, and by that point he was near feral with his need to consume her. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

“Who—” he panted, barely able to speak with the amount of need he felt, his powerful thrusts leaving him breathless. “Who is fucking you right now?”

“You are!” she cried. “Ethan.” Another hard thrust and grunt.

“Who do you belong to when you’re here?” he gasped between more grunts and snarls.

“You … you … only you!” she panted, bucking her hips with even more force, pulling on him roughly. “
Ethan
!” His loud growl vibrated her skin before he bit her nipple, sucking it into his mouth afterwards to soothe it.

When he felt her inner muscles starting to clamp down on him he knew that they were both close. “Who is going to make you come so hard that you see stars?” He slid his hand between their bodies and began stroking her, rubbing her swollen clitoris in tight circles as if to prove his point.

“
Ethan
!” she screamed, her body poised on the brink of explosion.

“And who is so fucking crazy about you that he can’t think straight?”

“Oh God… Ethan!” She wasn’t even answering him that time. Just the thought of him feeling that way about her sent her flying over the edge, screaming her release. Her entire body began bucking wildly, milking him dry as he followed her into the abyss.

“
Lily
!” he roared, exploding so powerfully inside her that he thought for a moment he might pass out. Thick ropes of fluid filled her as he pumped his hips frantically, desperate to leave every drop behind.

After what felt like hours but was most likely only a few seconds, Ethan rolled off of her and collapsed at her side. Not wanting to let her go, he pulled her close to him, settling her on his chest with her head resting on his shoulder.

“Wow,” she sighed deeply, snuggling into him more completely, loving how warm his skin was underneath her.

“I think ‘wow’ is an understatement,” he chuckled, stroking her back lightly. “I would have said something along the lines of
holy fuck sonofabitch
. To put it mildly.”

“Well said.”

They stayed there together in the dark for a while, simply existing, enjoying the feeling of being so close to each other. Ethan had almost drifted off to sleep when he heard a quiet whisper next to him.

“Ethan?”

“Mm?” It was still so odd to hear her say his name so easily, and he was ashamed to feel himself twitching in response again.

“You know we still have to talk, right? Don’t think you distracted me that much.”

“Ugh, dammit,” he sighed. “And here I thought I was getting away with it.” He ran his fingers through his hair, leaving it sticking up in many different directions. “What, exactly, do we still need to talk about?”

“Well, how about the entire evening, for starters?” she said, propping her forearms on his chest to look him in the eye.

“What about it?” he asked, stalling.

“Like I asked you earlier, why were you so shitty to me? Couldn’t you tell that I was just as freaked out as you were? At least you were in familiar territory; I was surrounded by a bunch of people I barely knew in a place I’d never been.”

“I know. I have no idea what came over me. It was all just so damn intense. I felt like I was going to fall apart at any moment. I totally wigged out.” He stroked his hand through her hair, running his thumb across her bottom lip when he finished. “I’m sorry. I think I just wanted someone to feel as freaked out as I did, so I lashed out.”

“So what set you off so bad? Just the fact that I was there? I was too busy freaking out that you were related to Maggie.”

“Well… everything!” he sighed. “Yes, I was totally thrown that you were there and that was how I had to ‘meet’ you, but then, seeing you with them like that? I mean, you know my entire family! They all love you! They want to have you over for sleepovers, for fuck’s sake—and I didn’t even know your name. It was more than a tiny bit overwhelming.”

“Why does it bother you so much that they like me?”

“I told you, I’m not ready to share you with them.” He swallowed hard, trying to find the best way to say what he was feeling without putting his foot in his mouth again. After another loud sigh he continued. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, honestly. You’re fucking engaged, and my life just fell apart! I don’t particularly like them acting as if they’re about to pick out our china patterns already.”

“I hardly think that’s what they were doing. You’re just being paranoid.”

“Bullshit, I know my family. That was a setup. They might as well have posted a sign above the door that said
Wife Interviews Inside
.”

“Oh, whatever,” she rolled her eyes, trying to ignore how much the word “wife” affected her, and then she remembered her earlier conversation. “Well, Maggie did say that she’d thought about trying to set us up before she knew I wasn’t available.”

“She knew you were engaged?” he said, his eyes going wide.

“Yeah, so I wonder why she would think—hmm. Maybe it was because I told her I was going to end it. She must have hoped I’d be so moved by her beautiful brother-in-law that everything else would go out the window. Ha! Little did she know that I was already sleeping with him!”

She laughed lightly, finding the irony of the situation way too funny. It wasn’t until she looked back up at him that she realized something she’d said had upset him. There was a grave look on his face, and his jaw was clenched.

“What’s wrong?”

He didn’t speak for a moment, and the silence in the room was deafening. When he finally opened his mouth, it was to speak through gritted teeth.

“You told her
what
?”

“I just said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did.”

“I meant to tell you last night. That’s why I was looking for you. But then we got in your car and I just sort of lost control.”

“Don’t try to distract me with car sex talk,” he snapped. “You’re ending it?”

“Yes,” she said exhaling, ending with a sharp nod, as if she were only just then making up her mind. “I just haven’t had the chance to yet because he’s still out of town.”

“When is he coming back?” Ethan felt a pain in his gut even mentioning him.

“I’m not sure. Soon, I think.”

“I hope you’re not doing that for
me
. I never told you to.” His delivery was as abrupt as a slap in the face.

“No, actually,” she replied, trying to ignore the sting that his words left. “It’s just become obvious to me that I’m not happy with him anymore—if I ever was.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” he pried.

“Excuse me? Is this the same man who is so jealous that he can’t even stand to see the ring?” She tried very hard not to sound pissy, but his odd reaction to her news was a little bit less than what she’d been hoping for. No, she wasn’t only ending it with Scott for him, but she wondered if a little bit of enthusiasm would kill him.

“Wait, Lily, hear me out.” He put his hand on top of hers on his chest, stroking it lightly with his warm fingers. “I’m not telling you not to… I just don’t want you to regret something later that you didn’t think through all the way first. This has all happened so fast, and today certainly just sped things up way more than
I’m
comfortable with, I don’t know about you.”

“Your family doesn’t need to affect this. Today was an odd day that nobody could have predicted. I’m not asking you to do anything drastic just because they like me.”

He thought for a moment before speaking carefully, trying to make her understand. “I’m trying to not let anyone force my choices but me for the first time in my life, and I think you should do the same. I know what we have here is… intense, and addictive, but is it worth throwing your life away?”

Yes
. She didn’t say it out loud, but she felt it to her very core.

“I mean, are you absolutely positive that you don’t love him anymore? That you can hurt him like that? That you aren’t just going through some sort of sexual… awakening or experimentation? Can you honestly say that you can’t work it out with him and make it better?” It hurt him so much to even think those questions, but he had no idea if they had even crossed her mind. If she did something based solely on fleeting emotions without thinking it through, she could end up hating herself for it one day—and him.

“You think all of that hasn’t been going through my mind for a while now?” she asked, blinking back tears. “I realized recently that I’ve never loved him the way that I should.
Never
. I do love him, a lot, but more like a friend or a brother. He’s got his problems, but he’s a very sweet man underneath it all. I think it’s more hurtful to him to keep that charade going, don’t you? He deserves the chance to find someone who can love him with her whole heart.”

“Alright.” Ethan stopped pushing, cringing inside at any mention of her history with him, but he couldn’t stop himself from wondering how much of her revelation was fueled by their illicit activities. “I only wanted to make sure that you knew what you were getting yourself into.”

“Believe me, I’ve thought about it,” she snapped. “And I’ve got to say, I really thought you would be a little bit happier about this. You can’t stand to hear about him and you never want me to leave whenever I’m here… I’m sorry but those are some extremely mixed signals from what I’m hearing right now.”

“I
don’t
like hearing about him. I fucking
hate
it! But that’s me, not you. I know what it’s like to make a horrible decision without giving it enough thought. I don’t want the same for you, especially if
I’m
that horrible decision.”

“Are you talking about your breakup?” she asked, wiping her eyes quickly and giving him a serious look. “I heard it was bad. Can you talk about it?”

“I can,” he growled, “but I don’t particularly like to.”

“Is it too painful? I understand that it was recent.” She hated the thought of him hurting. She wanted to wipe away any ounce of pain that he’d ever felt in his life.

“Well, honestly, the entire relationship was painful, and I don’t know if I really want to go into it all right now. Let me just say that we weren’t exactly a match made in heaven and we brought out the worst in each other. I barely recognized the person I had become, and I can’t say that I miss her at all.” Ethan looked at her for any sign of judgment, but only saw patience and understanding. It made him want to continue, just to make her see that he wasn’t completely heartless. “We had been on the outs for a long time. I had been in the process of finally trying to end it when she took everything I had with me—money, clothing, art supplies—and gave it to somebody else.” His expression clouded over as he was struck with the memory of finding her note again.