Mrs. Vogel buttered a slice of bread. “Charity's a strong and determined woman, but money's been tight since Aaron's passing. The wood, food, and supplies you've brought her have helped tremendously.” She sipped her steaming hot coffee. “Are you happy here in Berlin?”
Luke sipped his broth. The salt rolled over his tongue. “Jah. I've grown roots here. I plan to stay for a long time.”
“Your news will make Charity and her kinner happy.”
“They are the main reason I'm happy living here.”
She grinned. “I'm glad to hear it.” Mrs. Vogel sipped her coffee and conversed with him about gardening while she tidied the kitchen. “I should head home and tend to my animals.”
“I'll hook my horse to the wagon.”
He shivered in the bitter cold and headed to the barn. He rubbed his thighs. His legs hadn't regained their strength yet. He hitched his horse to the wagon and pulled it outside.
Mrs. Vogel joined him, and he helped her climb in. He took her the short distance to her home, bid her farewell, and shut the door for her. On his way home, he had an idea. He guided his horse over to Charity's. A thrill jolted through him. He tied his horse to the hitching post, stepped onto her porch, and rapped on the door.
She opened it, a puzzled expression on her face. “Luke, you shouldn't be out in this weather any more than you have to be. You need to give your body a chance to heal.”
“I won't come in. I realize the kinner are in school.” He spread his mouth in a wide grin and ran one gloved hand over the other. “Will you, your mamm, and the kinner join me for Thanksgiving? I'll get a turkey from the peddler, and I'll cook dinner.”
She frowned and whispered, “I'm sorry. Mr. Young has asked us to join him, and I accepted.”
He removed his hat and raked a hand through his hair. His concern about Mr. Young talking to her after church had been right. “Mr. Young, the widower who has six kinner?”
“Yes, and my mamm is joining us.”
“
No, no, no
” hung on his tongue. The idea of her with another man rendered him speechless. The way he felt on the day Martha left him. He needed a minute alone. Turning on his heels, he hurried to step off the porch and move toward his haus. He groaned. It was his fault for shying away from her questions and not sharing his feelings.
“Luke, please come back later. We do need to talk.”
He shook his head and waved over his shoulder. He needed time to digest what she'd told him. He flexed his gloved hands. Another man might snatch her away from him. The bishop had warned him that another man might show interest in Charity. He should've listened.
Â
On Thanksgiving, Luke cooked eggs, bacon, and grits for dinner. The haus stood quiet, except for Star's panting and tail slapping the wood floor. He pictured Charity, her mamm, Josiah, and Beth in his haus. He shut his eyes. He could almost hear their voices ringing out over the snap of game pieces on a tic-tac-toe board as they teased each other and laughed. What if Mr. Young won her heart?
He trudged through the wet snow to the barn and checked on the animals, then headed back to his haus. Eyes wide, heat rose to his face. There stood Martha. “Why are you here?” He wouldn't invite her in. He owed her nothing. They were no longer even married. She'd played him for a fool. He had hoped never to lay eyes on her again.
Cheeks tearstained, her dark hair hung in ringlets around her face. A long red wool coat fit snugly to her small waist and thick hips. The matching hat and velvet ribbon tied at her chin outlined her sweetheart face. Elegant, but none of it was appropriate as far as he was concerned. They were a harsh reminder of her desire for the world.
“Aren't you going to invite me inside?”
“How did you find me?”
“I went to our old haus in Lancaster. The couple who bought our place told me you had given them your address here.” She hugged herself. “Let's go inside. It's cold. I need to speak to you. It's important.”
He heaved a big sigh. She'd ripped his heart in two the day she destroyed his trust and left with the Englischer. “I've nothing to say to you, Martha.”
She fell against him, hugged him tight, and pressed her lips against his. “Please, Luke, please.”
His eyes widened. He shrugged her off and stepped back. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Keep your distance, Martha.” She was married to another man. What was she thinking putting her arms around him? During their marriage, he couldn't wait to have her in his arms each day, but not anymore. Hands on hips, he glared at her. “Where is your husband?”
“I've left him. He gambles and is a drunk. I found him last night in the arms of another woman. I can't stand him.”
Married or not, he had no interest in her personal life. He felt nothing for her.
She clutched his arms. “I made a horrible mistake leaving you. Please forgive me. I love you. Please take me back.” Her lips were inches from his. “We had a gut life. I'm sorry. I'll never leave you again. We can sell this place and buy a haus in Massillon. You'll love living in the world. The food, clothes, dancing, modern conveniences, and music are wonderful. Let me show you. We can experience it together.”
He clenched his teeth and stepped back from her again. Who was this stranger he'd once loved? She hadn't known him at all, or she wouldn't even suggest such a thing. More than anything, he wanted her to get on her horse and never return. He crossed his arms against his chest. “You've turned your back on God, Amish traditions, and me. You have no place in my life anymore.”
She looked at him with pleading eyes. “You can't turn me away. I have no money. Where will I go?”
He heaved a big sigh. He wouldn't leave her stranded. He dug in his pocket and pressed some coins and paper money in her gloved palm. “Take this and don't come back.”
She stepped over to him, threw her head back, and beat his chest with her fists. “You make me sick.”
He moved away from her. “Please go.”
She swished her coat skirt. Her mouth spread in an evil grin. “You can have your boring Amish life. I'll have no part of it. I'd rather have your money anyway.” She spit in his face and mounted her horse.
He wiped her spittle from his cheek and shook his head. The world had changed her. She was self-indulgent and rude. He'd found her beautiful before they married. She'd had a gut sense of humor, but she could be as stubborn as a mule. They'd argued more than any couple should, but he'd given in to her most times to keep the peace. The gut times outweighed the bad for a time, but he'd sensed she always wanted more than he could give her. He wouldn't want any harm to come to her, but if she returned again, he'd refuse to have one word with her.
A barn door shut next door. Startled, he turned his head and caught sight of Charity hurrying across the yard to her front door. He cringed. Had she seen Martha? He hoped not. He should've told her he had been divorced and why. He'd tell her everything about his past soon. Pulling his coat tighter, he lowered his head and went inside.
He'd allowed Martha's indiscretion to affect his future. Otherwise, he'd have been the one sitting next to Charity and her family today. He closed his eyes for a moment. Martha had ignited an angry fire in his stomach. Stiff, he rolled his shoulders, then bowed his head. “Dear Heavenly Father, please forgive me for getting angry and having bad thoughts toward Martha. Please prevent her from returning here. Give me the right words to say to Charity tomorrow. I love her. I'm asking You to intervene and prepare her heart to hear and accept what I have to say about my past life and to answer jah to my marriage proposal. Please, Heavenly Father. Amen.”
Â
The day dawned gray the next morning. His strength had returned.
What a relief.
Rested, he cooked a hearty breakfast. Ham sizzled in the skillet, and the smoky aroma filled the air. He inhaled, then exhaled. After he finished his meal, he tidied the kitchen and strolled over to the barn.
Should he approach Charity today and tell her everything? He glanced over to her porch. A man stood at her front door. He twisted his lips. Mr. Young. What was he doing at her haus? His heart sank. This couldn't be gut. She had all the traits a man would want in a fraa. No doubt Mr. Young appreciated them. He suspected the man was in a hurry to wed her, since he needed a mamm for his six kinner. Her door opened and the man went inside.
Luke must do something before he was too late. He tramped through the snow and knocked on her door.
Charity gasped when she opened the door. “This isn't a gut time for you to visit, Luke. Mr. Young is here. Please come back later. We do need to talk.”
Mr. Young might propose at any minute. Luke wasn't leaving. “Please put on your coat and step outside. I have something important to say to you, Charity.”
“Luke, Mr. Young is in my sitting room. He might hear us. Not now.”
Cheeks flushed, she stared at her feet. He'd caught her off guard, and his timing wasn't the best. No matter, she must listen to him. “Please, Charity, I must speak to you right now.”
“Please understand, it would be rude to leave Mr. Young for long.”
Josiah and Beth ran over to Charity and Luke, shrugging into their coats. “Can we go over to Luke's?”
She glanced at him.
“I'll take them for a sled ride. Don't make any decisions until you talk to me. Please.” He glanced at the kinner and then at her. He clasped the kinner's hands and stepped off the porch.
“Danki.” She retreated inside.
The kinner piled up snow to make a little hill for the sled to go over as he and the kinner played outside. Mr. Young left the haus minutes later. What had the man said to the woman Luke loved? He shivered. No matter. He still had a chance. She wasn't married to Mr. Young yet.
Beth tugged on his coat sleeve. “You should've been with us at Mr. Young's for Thanksgiving. His kinner threw food at each other at the table and made a mess. They got up out of their chairs and ran around during the meal. They were funny.”
“What did you do?”
Josiah cupped his mouth. “We laughed but we minded our manners. Mamm would punish us if we behaved that way.”
Beth's eyes widened. “Mr. Young talks a lot with his mouth full. Mamm scolds us when we speak with our mouths full, but she didn't say anything to him.” She paused. “He has lots of rooms in his haus. He showed Josiah and me two of them and said they might be ours if Mamm agrees to marry him one day soon. I told him Josiah and I already have you picked out for our daed.”
“What did Mr. Young say to that?”
“He frowned and looked at me funny, then said we'd better join Mamm in the kitchen.”
Josiah bobbed his head up and down. “Luke, will you marry us?”
“I'm working on it. This isn't just my decision. Your mamm has to agree.”
Beth swayed from side to side. “She likes you better. I can tell.”
“I hope you're right.” He checked his timepiece. “You should go home. We've been out here for a while.” He kissed their foreheads and watched them until they were inside, then went over to his haus. He couldn't let this man have his family. Life would be empty if Charity and her kinner weren't a part of it. He'd tell her about his former fraa and then propose. He'd invite her, the kinner, and Mrs. Vogel for Christmas dinner. He'd enjoy buying presents and watching their faces as they opened them on Christmas Day, and hopefully, they'd set a wedding date.
He grinned. Charity must've been appalled at the Youngs' behavior. She'd taught her kinner gut manners. Her haus was neat and orderly. The kinner wore clean clothes and wouldn't think of throwing food. The time he and Charity had spent together had to mean something to her. She barely knew Mr. Young. Had the widower told her what the kinner had said to him? Had Mr. Young questioned her about him?
C
HAPTER
5
C
harity sat in her favorite oak rocker and knitted a wool scarf to sell. The kinner were asleep, and the haus was quiet aside from flames snapping in the fireplace. Cozy and warm, she was glad she'd gone to check her animals an hour after she came home from the Youngs', or she would've missed the woman hugging Luke in front of his place. She'd peeked around the corner of the barn and strained to understand their words, but the wind muffled their voices. She'd watched them a minute or two, then run back inside. She'd tossed and turned last night, unable to erase the Englischwoman from her mind. Who was she?
She hoped Luke hadn't caught sight of her gawking before she scampered into the haus. Had he been waiting for this woman to return to him? It didn't make sense, since the woman was an Englischer.
Dinner at the Youngs' had been a disaster, the worst she had ever experienced. She chided herself for being ungrateful and critical. The man had hired Mr. and Mrs. Pine to cook the meal and join them for dinner at the long oak table decorated with candles. He'd been generous and insisted they take food home. It would last for a week. His prayer for the meal had been heartfelt, and he'd been attentive to Josiah and Beth. His proposal that they marry for convenience hadn't come as a surprise. He needed a fraa to raise his six kinner. He had a big home, had plenty of money, and was a gut Amish man, but he wasn't Luke.
Â
The next day, she strolled over to Mamm's. While the kinner were in school, she could have Mamm to herself. Voicing her concerns about Luke and Mr. Young might ease her mind a bit. She went inside. “Are you busy?”
Mamm crossed the room and hugged her. “Don't be silly. I'm never too busy for you, child. Come, sit. You're wearing a frown. What's troubling you?” She sat back down in her oak rocker.
“Mr. Young asked me to marry him.”
Mamm gasped. “You didn't say a word on the way home after we left his haus. I wondered what was wrong. I thought you were just tired. Are you considering accepting his proposal?”
“I'm hesitant, but yes.”
“You and Luke have spent a lot of time together. He loves your kinner, and he can't do enough for you. I've caught you gazing at him. Am I wrong? Do you love Luke?”
“Yes, but he hasn't said a word to me indicating he feels the same. I damaged our friendship by not allowing him to say his piece when we disagreed about Beth's transgression. I want to make amends, but I haven't yet.”
Mamm leaned over and pulled two quilts off a quilt rack. She passed one to Charity and covered her own legs with the other. “Why have you waited?”
She clutched the quilt. “I have more news.” She recounted the story of the woman she had caught sight of visiting Luke.
She loved him, but no matter. He obviously had another woman in his life. She heaved a sigh. She couldn't wait for him. Her kinner needed a daed, not just a kind neighbor. “He meant something to this woman or she wouldn't have been so comfortable throwing herself at him. I'm curious to learn more, but I doubt Luke will say anything. He's so tight-lipped.”
“From what you've told me, I'd guess this woman has no place in his life any longer, or she'd have been a part of his life all along.”
“What's your advice?”
Mamm leaned forward. “As far as Luke's concerned, you should mend your friendship. Don't marry Mr. Young. I've no doubt you could whip his haushold into shape and discipline those kinner of his, but it wouldn't be easy.”
Charity groaned and rubbed her eyes. “If I say no to Daniel Young, I might not have any other offers.”
“Be patient. Don't do anything rash. Pray and ask God to guide you. Seek His will, and everything in your life will fall into place.”
“I love Luke, and you. I'm blessed God chose you to raise me.”
Her mamm pressed a hand to her chest. “My heart aches when you're burdened. Your happiness is important to me.”
She hung her quilt back on the rack, hugged her mamm's neck, and bid her farewell. She stepped outside and met Josiah and Beth coming home from school. “How was your day?”
Beth held up a paper and rolled her eyes. “I have more spelling words to learn.”
“My day was gut.” Josiah pointed. “Mr. Young is on our porch. I wonder if he has candy.”
“I wonder why he is here.” She clasped Josiah's hand. “Don't ask about candy. It wouldn't be polite. Let's go say hello.” She forced a smile to her face, held her kinner's hands, and approached him. “What brings you here, Mr. Young?”
“ âMr. Young' is too formal, especially after our chat. Please call me Daniel.” He gently tapped the noses of the kinner. “You can call me Daniel, too.” He lifted his basket. “I brought you jams, a roast, and potatoes.” He pulled a small bag from under the cover and dangled it. “And here's hard candy for the kinner.”
Beth and Josiah bounced on their toes and accepted it. “Danki, Mr. Young.”
Charity opened the door. “Kinner, please take one piece each and then place the bag on the counter. You can have another piece after supper.” She returned her attention to Daniel. “Would you like to come in?” She hoped he wouldn't. It rattled her nerves to have him here at this moment. Especially after she and Mamm had just discussed Luke and he was fresh on her mind. She had half a notion to tell Daniel she couldn't marry him, but she shut her mouth. Her kinner's excitement stopped her.
“I won't stay long, but I would like to ask you a question.”
She gestured him to a chair. She mustn't be rude. “Would you like something to eat or drink? I've got sweet rolls, and I could warm up some milk.”
Mr. Young shook his head. “No, I don't want to trouble you. Please sit.”
She folded her hands to keep from fidgeting. Mr. Young prattled on and on about how much he had enjoyed their company on Thanksgiving. She'd hardly said two words.
“I couldn't sleep last night. I tossed and turned. I told you I'd give you until Christmas to give me an answer, but I'm too impatient. Let's get married before the holiday. I'll buy presents for your kinner, and we'll enjoy a gut meal and have our first family Christmas.”
She swallowed around the knot in her throat. This man had determination. Again, he hardly paused for air while pleading his case.
“I'm sorry, Daniel. I need more time. This is a big decision. I'll need until Christmas, as we agreed.”
“I'm sorry. I'm rushing you.” He frowned and stared at his feet. “Take all the time you need.”
Sadness was in his voice. It couldn't be easy taking care of six kinner. He was a kind and gentle soul, but she wouldn't marry him out of pity. The marriage must be beneficial to both of them. She bowed her head and went to the door. “Danki for your gifts. It was kind of you. I'll honor your request and deliver my decision in person before Christmas. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.” She hoped he got the message not to visit and suggest this again.
“I'll be praying for gut news.”
He mounted his horse and traveled down the dirt road. He had been kind and generous to her and her kinner. She liked him as a person, but no spark of excitement was there at the sight of him. She groaned and rubbed her temples. Headaches happened every time she found herself burdened. With her chin to her chest, Luke popped into mind. The Englischwoman had hugged him. She must be the reason he had shied away from her. Her heart sank. She never had a chance.
She had to do something to get her mind off of Daniel and Luke. She went inside and pushed her arms through her coat sleeves, exchanged her shoes for boots, and headed out to the barn. She grabbed her shovel and mucked the stalls. Maybe work would clear her head. Footsteps padded behind her. She glanced over her shoulder and her breath caught. “Luke, what brings you here?”
“Is this a gut time to talk?”
She set her shovel aside. “Yes. Would you like to come inside? I have bread pudding. Does a warm cup of milk sound gut, too?”
“No, danki. I need to tell you something.”
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I have something to tell you, too.”
He opened his mouth but then shut it, circled his arms around her waist, and kissed her full on the lips. “I love you, Josiah, and Beth. I'm sorry I've waited so long to tell you.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “Why have you waited?”
“I was afraid.”
“I caught sight of you and a woman outside your haus. Who is she?”
“Her name is Martha. She's my former fraa.”
Charity, eyes wide, gasped and covered her mouth. She stepped back. “You were married?”
“Jah, for four years.”
“What happened?”
“A year ago I hired an Englischer to farm my land so I could do carpentry work for extra money. Six months ago she divorced me and married him. She wanted to experience living in the outside world.”
“Is your divorce the real reason you moved to Berlin?”
“Jah. My friends visited and tried to cheer me up. They offered their sympathies over and over again. Their pity wouldn't allow me to move on. Her leaving was the talk of the town. I was broken, confused, and angry. I vowed never to trust another woman again, and then I met you. You, Josiah, and Beth changed my mind, opened my heart, and showed me love.” He caressed her cheek. “I love you, Charity.”
No wonder the man had been afraid to open his heart to another woman. “I've waited a long time to hear you say those words. I love you, too.”
“Will you marry me?”
She bounced on her toes. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
He twirled her around and kissed her again.
“I'm so sorry she hurt you. I won't leave you. You can trust me.” She gasped and covered her mouth. “Oh no! I have to tell Mr. Young I can't marry him. I'm supposed to let him know before Christmas.”
Luke's eyes narrowed. “You told Mr. Young you'd consider marrying him? Were you going to say anything to me about his proposal?”
She searched his face. “Please don't be angry. Yes, Mr. Young's proposal was the news I had to tell you.” If Luke had waited another few weeks to ask her to wed him, he might've been too late. “I don't have any attachment to Daniel Young, but he'd have been a gut daed for Josiah and Beth. I doubt I would've gone through with it, though. Most importantly, I was hoping to hear from you what you've told me tonight.”
He caressed her cheek. “I couldn't stand the thought of losing you and the kinner.”
“I'm thankful we've finally had this conversation. I'll visit Mr. Young tomorrow and tell him I decline his offer.” She grinned. “The kinner will be thrilled. They treat you like a daed already. How could I say no?”
“Let's tell the kinner and your mamm our news on Christmas Day, and we'll pick a date together. We'll keep it a secret until then.”
“Yes, I like your idea. Our announcement will be a wonderful Christmas present for them. I'll have Christmas at my haus and fix a big dinner.”
“If you don't mind, I'd like to have Christmas at my haus. I have some surprises for all of you.”
She grinned. “It sounds like a wonderful idea.”
Â
The next morning, Charity waved to the kinner as they left for school. She saddled her horse and rode to Daniel Young's haus and found him in the barn.
He lifted a saddle from his horse and lowered it to a sawhorse. He secured his animal in the stall and approached her. He beamed. “Charity, I hope you have come to tell me gut news.”
Her knees threatened to buckle. She was confident in her decision but dreaded disappointing him. She winced and swallowed. “You've been kind and generous. I appreciate the food, gifts, and Thanksgiving dinner. You are a gut man, but I must decline your proposal.”
Frowning, his eyes widened. “Why?”
“Another man has asked me to marry him, and I've agreed to wed him.” She wanted him to learn this information from her. After Christmas, word would spread. She clasped her trembling hands and waited.
“Is this man Luke Fisher, your neighbor? He must've visited you after I left yesterday or you would have said something.”
She folded her gloved hands and willed them to stop quaking. Mr. Young's distraught face pricked her heart. “I must keep the man's name a secret until I've told my kinner.” She paused and stared at her feet.
“It's all right. My friends have observed Luke Fisher stockpiling your wood and pulling your kinner around on a sled. When I showed your kinner the rooms they'd have in my haus, they told me they'd already picked a new daed. I suspected they meant Luke Fisher.”
Charity stifled her gasp. Josiah and Beth hadn't spoken a word to her about their comment to Daniel. Their declaration to him had been inappropriate, but it wasn't a surprise. “The man is Luke, but please don't share my news. We want to tell the kinner and Mamm on Christmas Day.” She met his eyes. “Again, I'm sorry to disappoint you. I'm certain you'll find a suitable fraa within our community.”
He shook his head. “I won't say a word.” He rubbed his forehead. “I wish you the best. You're a kind, sweet, and strong woman. Luke is a blessed man to have you say jah to his proposal.”
“Give my best wishes to your kinner, and danki for being a gentleman about this.”
“I care about you, and your happiness is important to me.”
Her eyes pooled with tears, and she bid him farewell. The man's forlorn face sent a pang of guilt through her chest. He was sweet, and she disliked having to add to his pain and disappointment. “Dear Heavenly Father, please comfort Daniel Young. Bring him peace and introduce him to his new fraa. Help her to love him and his kinner. Bless him and give him the strength he needs to raise his kinner in the meantime. Amen.”