The Alpha's Desire 3 (9 page)

Chapter Ten

To say I lost it then would be a grave understatement. I found myself much worse off than the first time, just moments before. My voice shook with my rage, going from gravelly to squeaky in seconds, and then back again. I continually gripped my fists at my sides, arms straight down, and then for emphasis, I guessed, I would raise and shake them at those around me. I couldn’t get to how rude I was being. All I could do was breath in and out my pain and panic, which erupted like a volcano, trying to burn all in its path.

“Please. You have to help me. I have to go to Lex. I understand that you have a plan, and that the Royals will get him, but I can’t just be carted off to wait. I need to be a part of that plan. I’m not giving myself over to them, and just sitting back and doing nothing. I can’t just let them save him. I need to help. Please. I beg of you. You have to understand that. I need to be part of it. I need to be there. I need to see him as soon as I can. I can’t wait. I can’t take it.”

My voice slipped in volume, words coming between sobs, as that initial anger succumbed to my fears and irrational emotional outbursts. “Please. Please. Our love. You have to understand how special it is, what our bond is like. I can barely breath, function without him. The pull to be beside him, it is stronger than anything I’ve ever experienced. And, we have this psychic sort of connection. I can feel him suffering, and it is killing me. I can’t silence it anymore.

“And, my magic, I don’t know how much longer I can silence it either. It is boiling inside of me, rushing through my limbs, needing to strike out. I can be an asset to the plan, especially paired with the Royals. I can help. I’m stronger than I look, and more mentally stable than I appear at this moment. I need to be with him as much as he needs to be with me. Please hear me. Understand. I just need to be with him, to save the man I love. You have to understand that. Please. I’m begging. And, I’m sorry to do so in such a way… Just… Please. ”

I didn’t mean to sound so angry at these wonderful people, nor to break down into tears afterward. From the looks on their faces, going from shock to sympathy, I believed they understood, by the time my rant had ceased, that it was only my frustration at being away from the man I loved. The flow of words coupled with the crying jag left me to struggle to breathe as I looked over the faces of those silent around me.

My upper body slumped forward, stretching to the point of aching the tightness that had moved on from my neck to my shoulders. Like my outburst had cleansed me, my expression grew as vacant I was sure, as my body and heart felt lifeless.  All energy drained from me, as I panted, the toneless sound my voice had taken on by the last of my pleading echoing in my ears, joined with the buzzing there. Suddenly bone tired, I avoided looking at any of them, instead focusing on my bare feet, a bit pale themselves versus my usual color.

Nira spoke up first. “Christina, we do understand. We each have known love. Maybe we don’t know exactly the connection between a wolf protector and his mate, but we do know, having been human once, and even now, we still have our emotions intact; they didn’t die with us the first time, so we understand that love, when supernatural, is rather otherworldly, for lack of a better term. Everything is heightened. And you are new to it all... the powers, the emotions, this sort of violence and danger.”

“I’m sorry,” I semi-said, semi-sobbed.

Pursing my lips together to say no more, I shook my head in disgust at myself, in frustration at the situation. Through hesitant glances, I watched many of them nod or give me sad grimaces of understanding. Who’d have thought I’d have lucked out, coming in contact with vampires? They definitely had retained their humanity, another fiction-born myth gone to waste. Death had made them super-humans, not just strong with healing powers, but compassionate and kind beyond most humans I knew.

I thought of Chloe. How right she’d been to worry about me leaving. Not because Lex was some murderer, but because he had enough after him thanks to me. Of course, the true wolves would have found us anywhere. At least my friend was removed from all of this. As much as I wanted her with me, needed to hear her voice, sink into one of her hugs, my world had indeed changed, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to fully bring her into it. At this point, home and a human friend seemed worlds away, unrealistic if you will.

“Please sit down a moment and catch your breath. You are good to no one in this state,” Nira coaxed me, her hand rubbing the back of my arm as she led me out of the crowd and to one of the white leather couches where she sat down beside me.

She took my hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. So tightly, in fact, that it bordered on uncomfortable, but I sank into the connection, gave myself over to it. Her eyes grew wide a moment before she looked down at my fingers sticking out from hers.

“Your magic is so strong,” she said to my hand and hers. “I can feel the heat of it. You poor thing. I don’t know how you are holding it together as well as you are. All you are dealing with, and this too, a magic you don’t fully understand, can’t control, which yet rages inside of you to get out. I’m sorry for it all. We really want to help. To do the best we can for you. A vampire just knows a person. It’s a gift we have, an empathic ability, if you will, that comes from being reborn. You are a good woman with a kind heart. It has been damaged so much by this world, and yet you have found a way to go on.”

I could do nothing but nod at her with my wide eyes damp with tears and mouth hanging open. I did manage to grip her hand, to wrap my fingers around hers, and give my own frail, shaky squeeze of thanks back to hers.

“This world has taken so much away from you. This I know from what I was told. You gained a wolf protector because of blood, but with the loss of both of your parents, you truly needed him. And, you are a creative soul, too, I heard. You found solace in fantasy worlds you could create. I can’t imagine what it is like to find out that those fantasies, those imaginings, were not so far off. Yet still, you have to process the differences while learning about yourself and running for your life,” Nira continued as, beyond her, I could see the other vampires move in closer.

“All of my own rambling is to say,” Nira continued, “that we understand and we don’t blame you. We want to help. We do.”

The rest of the vampires followed suit, all sitting down, either taking a spot on one of the multiple couches or chairs, or plopping onto the floor. They all had the same gracefulness as Nira. I figured it had something to do with their speed. Who could afford to be clumsy when you traveled faster than any car I’d ever been in?

Once the seats and floor spots were taken, given the size of the crowd, the remaining vampires filled in, sitting on the arms of chairs or leaning forward onto the back of couches. The coziness of the group wasn’t lost on me. I was fuzzy on their ability to glamour or not, but I felt the genuine concern in the room, and it brought me some comfort.

I sat in the silence of it all, in the comfort born of proximity and understanding, though they knew a lot more than me. I needed to make myself not only trust them, but go with what they knew was best. No matter how hard it was for me, I did need to let them all save Lex, do what was best for him, and let go of my own whims born of love and fear. 

“We will help you,” Nira said, not only interrupting, but countering my self-lecturing. “We know the Royals plans, what their teams of wolves are doing, and we can get you to where they are grouping. We are in contact with them, so I will let them know how you feel, plead your case for you. I don’t know what will happen after that. I can’t make any promises. Regardless of the outcome, we will get you to the Royals after all is said and done.”

“Thank you. I don’t know what to say other than that I’m so sorry for my outburst. You must think me horrible to repay all your kindness with such a rant, even if you do understand it. It was still wrong of me. You are all so generous. I wish the world knew.”

“It’s better they don’t. Trust us. Not all react to us as you have, with acceptance. Fear is a powerful motivator, and then coupled with stubbornness and prejudice, no thanks to all of those movies, though we do enjoy them, as well, it can get messy. So, there is nothing to apologize for,” a woman in jeans and a leather jacket spoke up. “No one needs to apologize for what they do in the name of love. Your outburst, as you called it, was merely an expression of how deep and true your love is for Lex.”

“Absolutely,” a guy in khakis and a button down shirt chimed in. “Plus, Lex can feel you, so he can feel all you just expressed, and wherever he is, no matter in what state, it will go a long way to know how much you love him. Most of us can only long for a woman to love us as fiercely as you do Lex.”

“He’s alive. You can find some comfort in that while we get ready, call the Royals, work out a plan,” Nira added. “We need a bit, given the changes, to work out the logistics. In the meantime, go get yourself showered. I’m sure it will help, not only to clean up, but as a distraction while you wait. I will show you to the bathroom and grab you some clothes I had someone fetch for you. Everyone will be waiting to discuss the mission with you after.”

Chapter Eleven

I’d followed Nira to what she’d termed the bathroom. This sectioned-off area, more a suite, to me seemed bigger than the whole of my apartment. Of course, I was easily overwhelmed at the moment, too. There was a sitting area with a love seat and all, like one would find in a spa. The colors here were basic, but more natural and warm than the rest of the loft. It felt like walking outdoors, all earthy, with lots of plants, not only sitting around, but hanging from the ceiling, as well. There were even groupings around the furniture like one would find done up in a rooftop garden. I didn’t have a green thumb myself, but I did love nature. I felt I could suddenly breathe easier in here.

A double sink sat across from the grouping of seats. A dressing table with a high mirror sat in a corner. Big potted trees framed both sides of it, with a few smaller plants around them. A hairdryer, and everything else you could think of to primp with, from creams and makeup to brushes and sprays, sat on a table waiting to be utilized. Beyond the wall that divided off this section was a toilet and tub or shower, I assumed, but through the open doorway, all I could see was a shelving unit full of fluffy towels and bottled items, probably shampoos and body washes.

“Who lives here?” I asked, not able to stop the thought from flying out of my mouth due to the shock of this part of the loft. I’d not thought anything could top what I’d already seen, but here I was in the private spa of the place. I had to wonder if it had been photographed for magazines.

“Well, I do, for one, but I share it with two others. Each vampire has their own apartment. This is our central meeting place. In exchange for caring for the place, me and two others live here rent free. It’s a good gig that lets me tend to our group’s business on a daily basis, rather than having to find a job to fit into the world. Wait until you see the tub.”

If you continued on, you came to a wide open expanse that housed a shower with seats and two shower heads. To the other side was a whirlpool tub you could swim in alone or fit four within comfortably. The place was decorated to the hilt, like the rest of the place, with all the same earthy tones as the seating area, browns and greens to accent all the shades of soft white. All very neutral and natural, it made me feel right at home, and took away that usual unease at having to shower at someone else’s house that I usually felt, outside of Chloe’s. Even in here, flowers and candles were everywhere, along with some decorative rocks. I did raise my eyebrows at the plasma screen TV that hung on one wall, so you could catch your favorite show why you bathed, I guess.

“After we get Lex, can I rent this place for a day? I mean, it isn’t just a place to shower, but a place to indulge, hang out.” I half joked out loud.

My body and mind longed for this all to be over so I could pamper myself, hopefully in Lex’s arms. I couldn’t imagine sharing the place with him. Well, I could, but probably shouldn’t just yet. It would only serve to make me miss him even more, if that was even possible.

She laughed, then excused herself, without giving me an answer. As I undressed, I heard her moving around in the seating area. In another full-length mirror, I caught my reflection, marveling that not a scar, or so much as a red mark, appeared anywhere on my body.

“Nira? Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” came her voice from the other side of the wall. “You want to set a date now for that rental?”

“No. I was just joking. At least, I think. What I want to ask is about how I healed. I mean, you talked about blood and magic and herbs and all that healed me, but my leg was broken and I had a gash I assumed would require stitches, so how is it that there is not a mark on my body, when only a day or so has passed? I don’t even have so much as a bruise.”

“One usually does not heal as fast as you did from what we do, the blood and magic. It’s fast, but not that fast. Especially not from a broken bone. But, with you, your magic sort of shimmered inside you as you rested. We could feel the power of it raging. And, we discussed it, and believe even with your newly discovered powers, ones you can’t control yet, they mixed with what we did to heal you completely. Honestly, the plan had been that the Royals rescued Lex and the others, and brought him here to you while you recovered fully. But, you surprised us all. Continue to, I should say.”

“Oh. Ah… well, wow. I still don’t know what to make of it all, these powers. I can right now feel them raging inside me, as you put it. That is a very accurate description. Sometimes it feels like flames will just shoot out of my fingers. I guess managing it all comes with training. I will get to that eventually. Hopefully before I hurt someone who doesn’t deserve it. Assuming I can’t hurt myself, though I assume it is possible. I was always sort of a klutz,” I rambled.

“Yes. I’m sure training will help. And, you are going to get that. In the meantime, though, you are going to have to be careful when we go meet the Royals. I sort of feel like we are taking an unstable bomb into battle. No offense. I don’t think you can hurt yourself, but I wouldn’t want to be collateral damage,” she said with an uncomfortable laugh.

“I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. I couldn’t deal with that. No offense taken on the bomb thing. I feel just like that, but still, I can’t just sit still while he’s out there hurting because of me. I have to try. Thank you for understanding that, and for changing your plans.”

“No need to thank us. As I said, it is what we are made for, to help in times of need. You have all kinds of needs there, lady. Stop worrying. I find it best to take care of one’s self before battle, and concentrate on what is happening then. It goes better if you haven’t worried yourself sick over what could happen beforehand.” She said.

“Thank you. I will do my best not to worry about what will happen. I need to stay positive that we will get him and the others back safe. My biggest problem is finding the patience to wait all the planning out. Knowing he is out there suffering is killing me.”

I stepped into the shower then, a bit confused at all of the dials for not just temperature, but type of spray, and apparently steam was an option, as well. Not only did I wish the situation was different, that I could relax and enjoy this lap of luxury I’d been brought to, but I could only imagine sharing it with Lex.

As I let the water hit me, I couldn’t help but to conjure up a few images of what we could do on these benches in the shower. I honestly couldn’t help myself.