The Alpha's Desire 3 (10 page)

Chapter Twelve

As the water beat down on me in glorious pulses, and I let the heat relax my muscles tight with worry, I envisioned him there beside me, as he had been once before in my tiny shower. The more I thought of him, though, the more I began to actually feel Lex. Not his body, but his spirit. He was thinking of me, too, and I could feel it. I sensed he needed me, missed me as much as I missed him. Given that this connection was all we had at the moment, and that it meant a reassurance that he was still alive, I gave into this moment together easily. I fell right into the sensations of his emotions tingling over my skin, just like the powerful sprays from the shower heads. Letting my mind conjure up images of us together, I hoped to send him love and peace while I could.

First, I imagined our future. I didn’t know for sure what he could read of my thoughts. Of course, he was trained to stay connected with me, but what their sorcerer was doing or capable of to block that connection, I couldn’t be sure. Still, if I could offer him anything with my thoughts, my love even, the comfort of knowing I was thinking of him, too, I had to try. Focusing, I thought on what would come, how I would save him.

Taking a few steps, I angled one of the showerheads to the bench, so I could sit there to better concentrate. I needed to grant my shaky legs a break from holding me up. Besides, each time I closed my eyes to better feel him, the world seemed to spin around me. I found myself grappling for the wall that wasn’t as close as one would assume it would be in any normal shower.

I conjured up images of rushing into a bare room with a pack of Royal werewolves behind me. Creating as I played it out, I had a Royal sorcerer break the spell, or whatever hold the sorcerer holding him had on him. Seeing him magically healed, as I had been, I imagined rushing into his arms, holding him tight for a blessed second, before leaving behind the building he’d been held in. Whatever stood in our way, true werewolves or that horrid man in the black suit, they were all easily cast aside by the Royal wolves who led us to freedom.

In this freedom, wherever it was, I took in his body, his solid build. Not caring about the setting, I saw only blurred colors behind us, as if only the two of us existed in the world. While in this bit of magical infinity, I ran my hands over the rippling muscles of his chest. I loved each and every part of him, but his core was my obsession, and drew the majority of my fascination with all of his manliness. The way his six pack abs met with the perfection of two ridges of muscles just above his hips left me gasping as it seemed to lead the way to and showcase his hard erection. I found myself shivering even with the streams of hot water pulsing against my skin.

These thoughts and images, while created by me, stirred up my magic, and I let it burst from me, using my thoughts to hopefully direct it to him. I didn’t know if that was even possible, but it felt right, and came easily. I let my light within soar from me, out of this building, and to him, traveling, I imagined, at the speed of light over our connection, the tether, the invisible silver cords that bound us despite distance.

I saw the light form over him like an aura. The heat and power of it caressed his damaged body, adding the healing that only love could. Once again, imagining him whole, healed, that body of his got to me, even if only a memory or an imagining of my mind. I found myself wet beyond the water coursing at me from the shower head. I, too, pulsed, just between my thighs, to be touched, kissed, and then invaded there by him. His often gentle roughness with my body got me going in ways I’d never even thought possible before. We’d experimented in rough play quite successfully, and I longed to feel his hand grab my breast or smack against my ass. In fact, I experienced a reminiscent trickle of sensation along my skin that only reinforced all my longing and urges for him.

Looking down my body, I saw that my nipples had grown hard under the spray, and I knew how much he’d like the sight. While my gaze lingered over my full, excited breasts, my fingers resting gently on my stomach, I questioned what I should do with this response.

Am I wasting time?
No. The group gave me an hour or more to merely shower and get myself together.
Is it pointless to pleasure myself?
No. I could send that sexual energy to him, as well. Any connection would have to help as we waited out this torturous separation.

With the thought that I could do just that, send him even more of my magic, my energy, my love, whatever I could to aid him, to help him at all, even if just a long shot, it seemed the best use of my time, to connect with him, rather than sit and wait out hearing the plans of the Royals and vampires. My only other option was to sit around and worry about him, to make myself sick with it. This seemed at least proactive, even if only an excuse to imagine him naked. I was sure that, when I told him about it later, that not only would he get a kick out of it, but he would ask for a repeat performance that he could watch in person.

Finally, I let a shaking finger move between my soaked folds. With him in my mind, the image of him being in the shower with me, on his knees, naked, between my open legs, admiring my folds as the water pelted down upon them, his finger exploring me, I began to throb, to want to move my hips. I glanced out into the huge room, ensuring myself to be alone.  While I knew no one would walk in on me, the unfamiliarity of my surroundings made the check instinctual, not a commentary on the people I was with.

It wasn’t long before my body needed more. So my mind and my fingers obliged. As I imagined him opening my folds, exposing my wet, red skin, I bent one knee, and brought a foot to the bench, angling until my thighs were as open as I could manage. Seeing him in my mind go down on me, kissing and licking my outer folds, I ran my fingers over them, in between them. As I imagined the fingers to be thicker, rougher, to be Lex’s, my breath hitched, as it often did when he touched me for real.

Eventually, I worked my fingers to my clit, pressing hard, circling. With my eyes tightly closed, I imagined all I could see between my thighs was his dark hair, wet from the shower. All I could feel, though, was his tongue circling my engorged nub. The moment took me, and I began to moan softly as I rode the mounting, hot, angry waves of desire, letting the fireball grow in my core.

My thoughts of him grew erratic. His mouth placed gentle kisses on my clit and opening. His tongue worked up and down over my folds. All the while, my fingers were pleasuring myself, touching and rubbing, alternating between gentle teasing touches and hard pleasurable rubs. My nails scraping against my skin brought remembrances of his teeth. In his overzealous taking of me, his mouth moving over my flesh, he’d scraped them along my sensitive skin, eliciting scrams of pleasure to rip from my lungs. I wanted him inside me in the worst way.

Needy, pulsing, I slipped two fingers an inch or so inside me. As my walls gripped them, I imagined his cock entering me, the feel of the head stretching me to accommodate him. A rush of passion put stars before my eyes, blocking out the here and now completely, until all I could concentrate on was the feel of my body as it coordinated with the images I created in my mind.

Adding another finger, the stretch only made my ache for him worse. The fire in my belly threatened to erupt. I moved against the glorious mounting friction, watching in my mind as his muscles bunched, and jumped, as he pushed in and out of me. It took some effort, but I managed to get my three fingers as far in as I could, reaching that soft spot inside of me. Every muscle began to tremble and pulse, and contract, as I rode out that fiery passion only he could ignite.

Sweating under the warm sprays of water, I let go, moving with abandon. Driving myself up and over the edge to that amazing precipice where my entire being burned with my orgasm, I let it come, let it all take me. Eventually, still tingling, my nerve endings jumping, I slumped on the seat. As my fingers fell from me, my body only wanted more, wanted only him. Still, as those post-orgasmic tremors continued to flutter through my body, once again, I let my magic go to him along those ties that bound us.

As I watched the white light rush and break through the liquid streams, the play of fire and water shimmered throughout the large shower. In that amazing light show, I saw again our perfect reunion, the first time we could wrap our arms around each other again. I knew I’d never want to let go. Hiding away on the Royal island with him had never sounded better. Wobbly, I stood to actually shower, with soap and shampoo and all. Tears filled my eyes, cleansing my soul, maybe, as I washed. I let them come, hoping they would refresh me, getting my sadness out of the way so that, once I got ready, I could focus only on the goal.

Without him, as far as the steps of grief went, I would count my magically drugged recovery as my denial time. I’d definitely hit anger, in the gathering room with the vampires just a bit ago. Probably twice, anger on the verge of insanity and laced with sadness. A volatile mix, I grew more embarrassed each time I thought of it. Moving on past that stage, I figured this time in the shower spent trying to connect with him to be my bargaining stage. So, if I counted these tears as my depression phase, that only left acceptance and moving on. I needed to get going.

A quote I’d heard once ran through my head as I turned to rinse the soap from my hair.
Keep going… Each step may get harder, but don’t stop. The view is beautiful at the top.
And, I knew it would be. Everything was beautiful with my Lex, inside and out, magical shapeshifting and all. Bending my neck to let the spray hit my face, I rinsed away the last tear. With love as my motivation, giving it, and basking in the glory of it, I bolstered myself for the fight ahead. Accepted this moment and moved on.

As I turned off the shower and stepped out into the steam for my towel, I convinced myself that, whatever might come, whatever obstacles came my way, including my not knowing exactly how to utilize my magic, being that unstable bomb as they’d said, I could still do this. I had to do this. There was no living without him. Not for me anymore. We were connected, and my life depended on his in so many ways.

Once dry, I stepped into the now empty sitting room. Nira, I was sure, had gone to the planning meeting.  A simple outfit of black stretchy jeans, a dark grey t-shirt, and a soft, thin black hoodie hung on hangers from a hook on the wall. Perfect mission outfit. I figured I could sneak into anywhere, and even knock off a bank in this outfit. While she didn’t know my style, she’d gone for practical, and made it so I could easily go with them. She was making me as much one of them as she could, and I appreciated the gesture. I couldn’t get over their kindness, and how they acted as if that was just what they do. If only more people could be more like that the first time around on this earth.

I wanted to write, to change the way fiction portrayed the vampires. So, as I dressed, I tucked away a story idea in my head. Lex had told me to write it all, to finish the story I’d begun during our first separation. As therapy, I’d written all about the time when Lex had tried so hard to uphold his position as my protector. He’d not wanted to cross the line to be my lover. Even then, only having known one night with him, I’d been insane without him. So, I’d written all of those feelings out. When this was all over, he’d told me I should finish the story, make it paranormal. Even though I would know the truth of it, no one would ever believe me. I had so much to add now. And, I grew positive that I would get a happy ending to write.

I hadn’t quit on him then, risking not actually life and limb like I would this time, but my heart. Equally as important, I’d get him back again. With my love-fueled magic, I would fight. As I pulled on the hoodie, though I probably wouldn’t need it out in the sun, I wanted to keep the wonderful warmth of the shower with me as long as I could. My nose picked up the hint of a comforting and exhilarating scent from the clothes, a mix of vanilla and maybe bergamot along with mint. I smiled, realizing that she’d most probably doused my clothes in some magic mix that would help me on my journey to save my Lex, along with Vivian and Riker.

Chapter Thirteen

When I finally emerged from the bathroom, walking into the great room where a meeting was still going, I immediately didn’t like the feel of the room. The faces that looked my way were tight with worry or fear, which only seemed, at least to my eyes, to get worse when they noticed my presence.  Nira stood up in front of the chair where she’d been sitting, and a little too fast, making my breath catch.

“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” I asked the rushed words with a wheeze.

“Let’s have a talk, just the two of us, out on the balcony,” Nira said to me as she walked up beside me and took my arm in hers. To the rest of them, she added, “Carry on without me. There are still things to be worked out beyond this issue. We still have strategies to plan for the unknown variables. We know our enemy, have fought them before, and need to continue to plan beyond them, to make the most of this delay. Nothing bad can come of brainstorming while we await answers.”

“Issue? Delay?” I muttered rather than asked, though I did want to know what was going on, much as I was desperate to learn the bad news.

“Come. I will tell you everything out on the balcony. While you were in the shower, we heard from the Royals. We are going to need your help more than we all knew. This time, they are asking for your help.”

“Mine?” I muttered, perplexed.

I don’t think she even saw my furrowed brow as she turned to the back of the loft, catching me up by the arm as she turned. I let her escort me to a set of sliding glass doors, as I felt too dizzy to do anything else. I tried to find that fight I’d had just a minute ago when I’d thought I would come out to be told a plan and told my part in it. ‘Issue’ wasn’t a word one wanted to hear at a time like this.  We already had issues aplenty to deal with. My warm-from-the-water and soothed-by-orgasm muscles immediately began that process back to tightening up, undoing any good I’d just done myself as I stumbled to keep up with her quick and determined strides.

As we stepped out onto a porch-sized balcony that overlooked a city, Nira guided me to sit in one of the many seats. This, too, even outdoors, was set to entertain a cozy few. Two sets of high, pub height tables sat with four chairs around each. On the side Nira escorted me to sit an outdoor set, black and ornate to match the pub tables, each with white cushions adorning them.

Unlit candles sat on each surface, and hung from sconces on the wall and the wrought iron bars that kept one from falling to their death from this bewildering height, especially if you didn’t care for them, as I didn’t. Rather than look out or down, I looked to Nira to beg her to begin. Still, my eyes were drawn just past her shoulder, out to the city scape on the horizon. I wanted so badly to believe that he was just out there, close, waiting for me to get to him.

While a wall of apartment buildings were just beyond this one, in what looked from this view to be a row beyond that, a line of tall city building dotted the skyline. Many seemed to pierce the fluffy clouds that half covered the blue sky. Sun and shade intermingled over their surfaces of steel and glass, maybe brick, merging the differing structures to look as if they were all made from the same materials. It was a beautiful day, seasonably warm with a chill still hanging in the air from a brutal winter.

“That’s Pittsburg,” Nira offered as I scanned the horizon.

“He’s got to be near here. I hope,” I stated as well as asked her, watching the emotions I couldn’t read wash over her face to get some sort of confirmation as to his location, how long it would take to get to him from here after whatever issues were handled.

“Well, that is just the thing. The Royals thought they knew where the true wolves were holding Lex, Vivian, and Riker. They even went there. But, the usual place the true wolves meet was not only empty, but abandoned. So, they tried to use their own connections to each other, magical ones, magic to magic, and werewolf to werewolf, but they couldn’t sense any of them. No one has been able to. Their own sorcerer looked, did a locater spell, but with no results. Well, that isn’t the full truth. He got scattered results, telling him that their wolves were in about ten different locations. So, they believe that the sorcerer the true wolves are using has cast some sort of spell himself that is blocking them from finding the Royal three.”

“Oh my! Oh no. So what now? What are our options to find them?” I burst out, tears threatening again, making my voice sound congested.

“That’s the thing. The Royals are out of options other than to scour the surrounding areas of the car crash and hope that somewhere they get some connection to one of them with the aid of proximity. But, it is still a needle in a haystack scenario. Beyond that, they have asked, in the meantime, if you will try out some of your special skills. I told them that you mentioned dreaming of him, as if he’d contacted you through your special connection to each other. So, they want you to try to do the same again, to use not only your special connection, but your new-found abilities to try to connect with him. They know you are untrained, but it is at least a shot.”

“Yes, it is. I’ll do or try anything. I just felt him in the shower. I was thinking of him and I felt that connection. I’m just not sure how I would discover his location, but I am willing to try. Did they give you any guidance as to how I would do this?” I asked, trying to force away the heat growing over my face, knowing what I’d actually done in the shower to connect with him.

She can’t know that
, I assured myself, looking down to catch a deep breath before turning to her again for my answer. I looked, too, to see if she could read my thoughts, if she had any inkling of what I’d done.
Not that it matters
, I screamed at myself.
Focus.

If I had known no one could locate him at the time, I’d have tried to get a location. It was too late now, as I surely couldn’t repeat that process here. And, it’s not like in there I’d been focused on pinning down where he’d been at. I’d thought they already knew where he was. My thoughts went in similar circles as I waited for her to answer me, and she seemed to be weighing her words before she spoke them.

“A little, yes. They at least told me how to get you prepared, mentally and spiritually, to make a stronger connection to him, so that maybe you can get a sense of where he is at.”

“Great. How do we begin? Just tell me what I need to do,” I shot at her.

“Okay. I love your enthusiasm and passion. If you have any fear of your powers, you sure hide it well. Regardless, let’s get started then,” Nira said. “This is why I brought you out here, so that we could work with a connection to nature, in the open air, and away from distractions.”

“Okay, as you said, let’s get started,” I pleaded, as enthusiastically as I could muster or fake, as fear and panic were what truly elevated my voice.

I’d wanted to help, and now the pressure was on. So I couldn’t waste time dwelling on the fact that Lex was now missing, not just kidnapped, but had disappeared without anyone who cared for him knowing where he’d been taken. Also, I attempted to prevent my brain from going to his physical state, his injuries and the fact that he was being spelled to prevent his body’s ability to heal. We were dealing with magic against magic here, and in so many ways.

“To think that I didn’t even know a few weeks ago that magic existed,” I continued after she nodded at me. “I had no idea it was even real, possible, let alone existed inside of me. I thought werewolves and sorcerers and vampires were a thing of my beloved fiction. I’d have laughed, had someone suggested otherwise. And now, just days into my new knowledge, I have to tap into untamed waters inside myself, the paranormal that resides inside of me like a constant burning light I can’t control. And, I have to use these powers to save the man I love, a true soul mate, who again, I didn’t even know a month ago,” I babbled as Nira lit a candle on the table, along with some incense, things she’d pulled from a box as I’d talked.

“I know. It would be a lot for anyone to handle. But, I believe you are doing amazing, dealing with it all. Your inner strength, resilience, willingness, and fierce love will see you through this and many other trials. I really believe that, Christina, and I’ve been in this community for decades. I’ve seen a lot, things that would still surprise you. But, no need to overwhelm you any more than you already are. Moving on. Now, we need to get you into a better psychic state. You and Lex already have the connection, but some of your psychic centers in your body might be blocked since you’ve never utilized them before.”

“Makes sense. Is that what the candle, smoke, and that rock are for?” I asked, looking at the triad of materials she had going.

I couldn’t place the unusual smell of incense, not that I burned the stuff. I liked many of the smells, but it had always been too much for me. Too much scent for my small apartment. Placing out a stick of the stuff alone had been more than enough, so I’d never burned it or bought more. The three items looked out of place with the décor, so I assumed, as she fingered the rock and lit the other two, that they were for me, not for some ambiance she was going for. Every element had a meaning associated with it. I often had to look them up when writing stories that involved magic. I was curious to see how much of that was true, as well, or actually utilized by those who practiced, I should say.

“Yes. The incense is Dragon’s Blood. It not only clears the space of negative entities or influences, but also promotes healing. It is mainly used to increase the potency of any spells or rituals, like this one. The rock is hematite. It has a dual meaning, as well. First, it is a stone healer, purifying the blood, hopefully helping your body to become unblocked. As far as the ritual goes, it assists in psychic awareness, helping with things like astral travel or scrying when used to reflect a candle’s flame.”

“Guess you do use the elements, then. Anyway, did you just know all of this, or did the Royals teach you all of this while I was in the shower?” I asked, as she seemed so knowledgeable and sure of herself, which I will admit went a long way to helping me trust and go along so easily, along with my insane desire to reach the other half of my heart. Right now, I’d have probably bought anything she was selling and tried it.

“Both. We vampires here have long trained in magic, like what we used to heal you. It assists us in protecting and healing, as our job requires. We like to think of it as bettering ourselves. Beyond that, the Royals gave me the specifics here, exactly what to use and what order to use it in. So, are you ready to begin? I will guide you through the process to get you first focused, and then hopefully connected to him again. Think of the first as a mediation practice. Are you familiar?”

“Yes. I practice yoga, so I’ve dabbled in meditation, as well, enough to know how it works at least, unfortunately not enough to be good at it.”

“Good, that will help,” Nira said with a small smile that barely hit her eyes before she grew serious again. “So, to begin, Christina, you need to pick up the hematite and hold it in your dominant hand. Then stand.”

I followed her orders, grabbing the stone, and standing so fast that my head spun a bit, but I soon focused in on her again. A gust of wind blew up my hair into my face, the bite of its cold hitting my ear, cutting through my clothes despite the spring sun. I shook off the immediate reaction to think it an omen. I’d no idea where the thought had come from, other than insecurity as I ventured into unknown waters, with barely a knowledge of boats to ride through a storm, which I now needed to guide the ship through.

“Take it slow and easy. I can sense your heart beating hard in your chest. We need to get you to a state of calm to have the best chance of this working. Stand with your feet out, about shoulder’s width apart, then stretch out your arms, even with your shoulders to make yourself represent a star. Now, with your left palm up, facing the sky, and your right palm down, facing the earth, you must begin to breathe. Focus on the breaths, making them deep, long, and steady. You want to pull the air into your belly, not just your lungs, help kindle further the fire that already burns in there. Good. Now just keep breathing, focusing only on your breaths outside of my voice.”

I nodded, but continued on as she instructed. With each thought that entered my head, from feeling silly to being panicked for my Lex, my mission, I tried to dismiss them as I’d learned to do from yoga tapes. Pushing out my lower belly, I let the air fill the area, and actually felt it, or at least I thought so, fanning the flames of my powers.

Nira stood, the burning white candle in her hands, to bring it up even with my face. “Now, I need you to begin to focus on the flame. As you do so, continuing your breathing, you need to release any blocks. Imagine you have an opening in your navel, and as you let this bright light fill you, mix with your own, you are letting the block release out into the world. In your mind, see the candlelight come into you through your head. Then, imagine it flowing through your body, white, bright, and pure, cleansing away any darkness within you. Let that darkness flow out of the opening in your belly or let it go into the ground under your feet.”