The Alpha and the Omega: An absurd philosophical tale about God, the end of the world, and what's on the other planets (5 page)

10

T
he next morning, Zack awoke to find that his normal self had returned. Wait a minute, he thought. What about all of the evil in the world? What about evolution? What about the Big Bang? Was I really wrong about all of it? And what about my uncle!? This was an odd detail from the night before that Zack had somehow misplaced in the excited shuffle until now: no one was able to find Uncle Casey, and Zack’s Granddad Gordy had reported something about God saying that Casey would make it to Heaven “eventually.”

A few minutes later, his mind racing, Zack was walking through the City with Lucky at his heels. Manhattan had changed quite a bit. Medieval castles sat side-by-side futuristic towers made of diamond. There were Taj Mahals, obelisks, and colossal statues of ordinary people, and near Zack’s office building, there was a giant beanstalk that disappeared into the clouds.

In Central Park, a waterfall fell from a place above the sun into the Lake, where people lay back with their feet up in swan boats that were actual, giant swans. Above
them, others flew in the sky on angel wings and raced hover skateboards. They made dancing rainbows with completely new colors that Zack had never seen before. They rode pegasi, dinosaurs, and dragons. But Zack was not interested in any of that at the moment. He had questions, and he could not embrace his new reality until he got some answers.

Zack and Lucky approached the Library, a new building that God had constructed at the north end of the Park and had mentioned in passing the night before – now the focus of Zack’s being. Engraved in stone above the entrance were the words: “Nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, nothing is secret that will not become known.” Heaven’s library. Zack and Lucky walked in.

Although the building appeared modest from the outside, it was cavernous inside. Dozens of floors circled the main atrium, each with many radiating hallways, which were without visible end. Oddly, other than Zack and Lucky, there were no other visitors.

Zack read for hours. The books did not contain any major surprises. The universe had indeed begun billions of years ago with the Big Bang. Humans evolved from monkeys, but under God’s direction. This was necessary, because if it was too obvious that God had created the world and mankind, true faith and free will would be impossible.

Zack continued reading. Humans built the pyramids in Egypt. Crop circles were a hoax. Columbus was not the first non-native American or even the first European to reach the new world. And, interestingly, there was no specific carcinogen that caused Zack’s parents’ cancers; it was their genes, which acted at the same time by coincidence.

But not everything was there. “God,” Zack said. “Are you there? I have questions.”

God appeared. “Yes, my son.”

Zack decided to start with an easy one. “Who was responsible for the assassination of J.F.K.? It’s not in here.”

“I cannot reveal that secret just yet. The people involved in those events have redeemed themselves and are here as well. If I revealed their crimes, this would not be Heaven for them. Remember, you may only have as much happiness as is consistent with a similar happiness for all others.”

“But the sign on the door said that all secrets would be known.”

“Indeed, and I will reveal that secret in time, when everyone fully grasps the reality of my kingdom and has allowed his or her heart to be at peace. But that time is not yet here. Your heart, for one, is still very much at war.”

“Yes… yes it is. Where’s my uncle? That’s not in these books either.”

“He is not yet ready. Remember that in order for Heaven to work, everyone here must be able to accept the principle that they cannot have everything they want, but must share happiness. Casey will make it here eventually. You must be patient.”

“So is he in hell?”

“He is beyond this kingdom and therefore beyond you for the time being.”

“Ok. Well then tell me this. What was there before the Big Bang?”

“There was nothing.”

“But you existed, right? You created the Big Bang.”

“Yes.”

“Then there was something before the Big Bang… you. How did you get there?”

“I was always there.”

“That doesn’t make sense. How could something as intelligent and powerful as yourself always exist? Didn’t something have to create you?”

“Zack, I was not always intelligent and powerful. Like you, like the Earth, and like all things, I have always been evolving. I was there in the beginning simply as a great energy. You were too, for we are all part of the same energy that is the universe. That energy, Zack, is greater than time. It, you, me, created the Big Bang and later evolved into the two beings having this conversation.”

Hmmm, Zack thought, an evolving God? He would have to think about this. “But then did you create the Earth and humanity?”

“I did.”

“
Intelligently?
Or just by being there, like with the Big Bang?”

“Intelligently.”

“Ah!” Zack had him now. It was time to bring out the big guns. “Well, then why did you create the world with so much evil?”

“Humans needed challenge. Otherwise, how could they have ever grown?”

“But murder, war?”

“Those were consequences of free will. If I had intervened, then humans would not have had a meaningful choice between good and evil.”

“But what about the
magnitude
? The Holocaust, slavery…
child-rape
? Surely you could have designed a world in which humans faced some natural obstacles, and had the power to do some evil, but where crimes like those were impossible.”

“Zack, how do you know that I didn’t? You must admit that it was also physically possible for me to design an even more painful world than the one that you lived in. There was a whole range of worlds that I could have made, and I had to draw the line somewhere. If I had made rape and murder impossible, then you would ask me why I had allowed disease. If there was no disease, you would ask me why I had allowed death at all. Some suffering was necessary.”

“But what about –”

“Zack. How about we take a break from this for now? You and I have all eternity to philosophize, and I look forward to it, but at the moment, there are some other matters that you should attend to. Nearly everyone that you have ever known is here, and some of them are pretty anxious to spend time with you. You have important reunions scheduled throughout your entire first week here: family, neighborhood, high school, college, company… you should relax and celebrate.”

“Fair enough. I’ll try to do that.”

“What if they’re aliens and they’re going to eat us or enslave us?”

“Zack, that’s crazy. And if it were true, they’d have done it already. God is infinitely more powerful than us, and there’s nothing we could do.”

“But Stan…”

“Zack, if only you had seen the resurrection. I was at my old church when it happened, and it had a cemetery. Zack, skeletons rose out of the ground. I saw them! Randall Gibbons – 1905, William Carver – 1880, Deborah Paxton – 1920, I
met
them Zack! The dirt whipped around in a storm of little tornadoes and filled in their bodies and their funny old-timey clothes. Other people materialized in mid-air, maybe because they had never gotten a real burial. There were British colonists, Civil War soldiers, Native Americans! It was amazing.”

“Yeah, but apparently not amazing enough for God to think of showing me.”

“Maybe he thought you weren’t ready. Anyway, who cares! There are plenty of other amazing things to experience here. Look at my shoulder Zack, good as new!” Stan spun his arm around furiously like a sideways helicopter blade. “Anything’s possible!”

“Yeah, but the resurrection, your shoulder, they don’t prove that God is really God. The aliens might just have really really advanced technology.”

“Bro, we’ve been buddies for a long time, and you need to listen to me. We were wrong. It’s OK. Just accept it. There is a God. There is a heaven. We’re in it, and it’s totally awesome. So why don’t you go enjoy it? Get drunk – the beer tastes better and there’s no hangover! Stuff yourself silly. There’s no consequences!” Stan flung the back of his hand into Zack’s stomach. “Even better, spend some time with your parents. I’m sure they want to see you.

“And did you find out yet about the additional senses beyond just the five? Ask God about
that
. And bro, when
you’re tired of all that, it’s time for you to start dating again. Let me know when you’re ready, and we’ll find some parties. I’m sure they’re
sick
!” Then suddenly Stan got very serious. He looked Zack straight in the eyes and said, “Have you
tried
the videogames here?”

Zack decided to take Stan’s advice, and later that day he did some skiing. The experience was divine. The mountain was three times higher than any that he had ever skied, the powder was always fresh, and the chairlift was really more of a mechanical bird that flew him to the top within seconds.

Even better, Zack noticed after a few runs that his body was incapable of experiencing any significant pain. No matter how hard he fell, the feeling was only enough to let him know that the ground was there, but no more. This gave him great confidence, and soon he was trying runs and freestyle tricks that he never would have dreamed of before.

In between runs, Zack swapped war stories with some of the other skiers, who informed him that he could progress even faster if he asked God to teach him. Zack considered this, but decided to hold off for now so that he could save something for later. Today was still only the first full day of Heaven.

The other skiers also told Zack about the videogames. They said that they had heard about a skiing game that made the mountain they were on look like a pebble, and that they were not so much videogames
per se
as they were full-immersion, virtual-reality simulations. There were sports games, yes, and shoot ‘em ups, sure, but there was also a World War II game that gave you the complete experience of storming the beaches of Normandy, a game where you
spent months or more in Tolkien’s Middle Earth trying to destroy the One Ring, and a game where you explored alien worlds and commanded the Force as Luke Skywalker.

Some of the games were single player, with a computer or perhaps God generating the other people in them, while others were multi-player and let you go in with friends to play with or against. You could even design your own game if you wanted. Of course, “videogames” was just the name that God had used to explain the concept to people in Zack’s generation. Older people understood the games simply as fantasy worlds. Zack was fascinated, but decided that for the time being, he would stick to more simple diversions like skiing.

When Zack met his parents for dinner that night, he had to admit that he was feeling better. Skiing had taken his mind off of whether or not God was who he said he was, and Zack was excited to see what else Heaven had in store.

They gathered in the small, two-floor, three-bedroom house on the lake that Zack had grown up in. The house, remarkably, was a replica that God built for Zack’s parents in the Nevada desert, because several other families had lived in the real house over the years, and they could not all inhabit it now. But it made no difference where it was located. Everything was the same.

As they walked into the kitchen to take their seats at the table, Lucky dashed in from the living room, and, in one swift motion, swooped in on the dishcloth hanging from the stove handle, snatched it mid-stride, and galloped out the other entranceway into the hall.

“Lucky!” Zack’s mom yelled.

Lucky looked at her playfully. Then he slowly inched closer to the kitchen, taunting her with the dishcloth.

“He’s full of beans!” she said, laughing. “I guess some things never change.”

“Did you see that?” Zack asked his father. “He’s a lot quicker on four legs, huh?”

“Haha, I guess so.”

Then, unexpectedly, a strange man wearing strange clothes entered the room.

“Oh that’s right, I forgot!” Zack’s father said. “Zack, you’ll never guess who I found – a long lost relative. Look! This man has our same last name, and he lived four hundred years ago… on the other side of the Ocean! None of his family members or close friends made it to Heaven, so he’s going to spend some time with us.”

Zack suddenly realized that it was a lot harder to respect his father now that he looked so young. But he would try.

“Interesting,” Zack said, walking over to shake the man’s hand. “It’s great to meet you.” Zack hoped that somehow, because this was Heaven, the man would understand English. He did.

“Nice to meet you too.”

“Tell me,” Zack said, as they sat down, “how do you like Heaven? All of this must be an even bigger shock for you, what with all the history and technology to catch up on.”

“So far I’m not liking it very much at all. It’s wrong I say. Wrong, wrong, wrong. You’ve got all these people, of all different races and nationalities living together, and marrying, and carrying on…”

Zack winced. Had he heard correctly? He turned immediately to his mother, who looked just as uncomfortable.