The Adventures of Steve and Terry: The Zombie Chronicles (13 page)

Ian had no contact with the other
Banditos. He found Anne and Ron, or what was left of them, by the chimp cages,
both ripped to pieces, the zombie chimps in a feeding frenzy. He had backed
away in horror. Next he had found what was left of Tyler and Jay, the lions
still ripping pieces off of the men. He heard Monica and Sal screaming from
what a sign described as a trained parrot show. Whoever this guy was, he had
taken Ian’s gang apart. And his men were no pussies, they were hardened
killers.

At this point Ian just wanted to
get away. Suddenly, random lights started to turn on and off around him. The
loud speakers started playing animal calls and other sounds he didn’t
recognize. Ian fired wildly around him and ran. A side door was open and he
quickly ran inside. He thought he heard someone behind him and ran down a long
corridor. A door slid open and he ran right through it. The door closed behind
him and he heard a lock click. Lights suddenly turned on, illuminating fake ice
and a small pool.

“Who are you?!” he screamed. “What
do you want?!”

Ian heard a small squawk behind
him and spun. A rather large penguin waddled out from behind a fake ice rock.
Its eyes were clouded over and its skin was mottled with rot. Ian quickly shot
it in the head. He heard more squawks and spun to see droves of penguins
emerging from the water and from around rocks. Ian fired over and over, killing
several, but then he heard the click of an empty clip. The penguins slowly
closed in.

Steve made his way back towards
the control center when he ran into Terry. “Oh, hey man. So you were right,
they weren’t friendly.”

“Uh, you think.”

“But don’t worry; I took care of
them, single handedly.”

“You really think you did all that
alone?” Terry asked.

“You were nowhere to be seen.”

“Who do you think was opening all
those cages?
Me
, from the control center.”

“Okay, maybe an assist, but I was
doing all the heavy lifting.”

“Oh please. You think you would
have survived two minutes without my help?”

The two continued to argue as they
walked, leaving the zoo behind.

VIII.
College Daze

“Hey man, there are lights ahead,”
Steve said, as he and Terry drove down the road.

“A lot of lights,” Terry
confirmed.

The headlights illuminated a stone
sign. “Marvard University,” Steve read aloud.

“Not
the
Marvard?” Terry
asked.

“I don’t know, just Marvard. Why,
what is Marvard?”

“Only one of the most prestigious
universities in the United States, man.”

“You mean
was
one of the
most prestigious.”

As they got farther into campus
they saw several buildings with lights still on. Loud rock music blared from
many of the lit buildings.

“What on earth is going on here?”
Terry asked.

Suddenly, several naked men ran by
their car screaming. Terry slammed on the brakes and both jumped out, shotguns
at the ready, but they saw no pursuing zombies.

“What the hell?” Steve asked.

They got back in the car and
continued on. They reached a parking area and pulled their car in next to BMWs,
Mercedes, and Porches. They got out and Steve looked at all the high-end luxury
cars. He suddenly unloaded several rounds into each of them. Terry stepped up
beside him.

“Feel better?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Steve said, reloading.

“Hey man, who’s shooting my ride, dude?”
someone called out.

Steve and Terry looked around,
then up. A young man was leaning out of a window, rock music blaring behind
him. Several other young men suddenly pushed to the window behind the first.

“It was infected,” Steve yelled
up. “Turning into an autozombie.”

“A what?” the young man asked,
confused.

“A transformer, like Megatron. I
probably saved us all.”

“Oh, cool man!” the young man said
with a stupid grin. “Why don’t you guys come up?”

Steve and Terry walked to the
entrance of the building to see a barricade with two armed young men at it.
Steve saluted smartly, the two young men suddenly standing straighter and
returning the salute. They were let in to find a long hallway decorated with
Christmas lights. They walked down the hall until they reached stairs. They
walked up to the fourth floor, following the sound of blaring music.

The fourth floor was filled with
college age young men. The walls were all spray-painted bright colors and
Christmas lights hung from the ceiling. Everyone was stumbling around
unsteadily, many holding beers. All the doors were open revealing dorm rooms.
Young men were in each room, drinking and trying to dance to the music, though
most were too intoxicated to actually accomplish such a feat.

“My god, what happened here?”
Terry asked in disgust.

“So this is the best the country
had to offer, huh?”

“Well, I’m sure it was a different
time then. I mean, there were probably more people. You know . . .”

“Smarter people?”

“Yeah, probably.”

Suddenly the young man who had
yelled at them through the window stumbled up. “Hey bros, do you require the
sacred nectar?”

“You have Mountain Dew?” Steve
asked excited.

The young man look confused for a
minute. “Uh, nah bro, I meant a beer.”

“What happened here?” Terry asked.

The man suddenly laughed. “Uh, the
fucking world ended man,” he said with a giggle.

“Well yeah, that part was obvious.
But what happened here, at Marvard? This was one of the most prestigious
schools in the world.”

“Yeah,” the young man said with
another giggle. “When the shit got bad, a lot of people left. You know, their
parents had them picked up by, like, whole squads of mercenaries or private
security or something.”

“And no one picked you guys up,”
Terry said, starting to understand.

The young man started nodding
stupidly. “Yeah, my parents are pretty serious about me getting my education,
so, you know, there you go, man.”

“So you think your parents left
you here to get your education in the middle of an effing zombie apocalypse?”
Steve asked.

“Well, yeah. Why else would they
leave me here, dude?”

“Clearly,” Terry said. “How have
you guys been keeping out the zombies?”

“The ROTC guys are pretty good
with that whole thing. They, like, patrol the campus and stuff.”

“We didn’t see anyone patrolling
when we pulled up,” Steve said.

“What?” the young man asked,
confused.

“No one was patrolling the campus,”
Steve said slowly.

“Hmm, that’s probably not good.”

“You think?” Terry asked.

Just then, screams broke out in
the courtyard below. Everyone rushed to the window to see one of the streakers
from earlier, sprinting across the quad screaming. Right on his heels was a
small group of zombies. Gunshots suddenly rang out across the quad. They saw
the two guards at another building get overrun by zombies.

“Oh man, that stinks,” the drunk
young man next to them said.

More and more zombies started to
flood the quad. One set of guards after another were overrun. By the time the
zombies rushed the building Steve and Terry were in, the guards had fled.

“We gotta get outta here,” Steve
said, chambering a round in his shotgun.

“Agreed,” Terry said, doing the same.

They pushed through the screaming
chaos of the freaking out party boys. They reached the hall to find several
zombies cresting the top of the stairs. Steve and Terry fired quickly, putting
them down. They rushed to the stairs and kicked the corpses out of the way.
They made their way down the stairs a flight at a time, one covering the other.
They reached the quad to find several of the frat boys were sticking with them.

They reached their car and Steve
jumped in. He screamed as a zombie in the back seat reached for him. Steve
jumped back out and started to unload into the car. He killed the zombie, but
the car as well.

“Idiot!” Terry screamed.

“Let’s take one of the others!”
Steve said, as more and more zombies started to appear.

“You mean one of the others you
shot?!”

“Oh, right.”

“Whatever we do, we gotta do it
quick man.”

“Agreed.” Steve said, as he hopped
up and down on the balls of his feet and looked around wildly. “There have got
to be more secure buildings somewhere on campus, right?”

“I would think so. Is that the
plan?”

Steve nodded and the two took off
deeper onto the campus, several frat boys following in their wake. Soon the two
were overtaken by the frat boys. Steve and Terry were both huffing and puffing,
and slowly they began to fade. Finally, both stopped all together, hands on
knees, sucking in great gasping breaths of air. The frat boys got a bit ahead
and then saw they were alone. They finally slowed, and then stopped, looking
not the least bit out of breath.

“Ass—holes,” Steve said between ragged
breaths.

“How—are they—in such good shape?
All they do—is drink,” Terry huffed out.

“You guys comin?” one of the frat
boys called.

Terry waved them off. “Shoe came
untied.”

The frat boys, four in all, looked
at each other confused. “Ugh, let’s get goin,” Steve said, standing up with a
groan. As they got further into campus large buildings rose up amongst hundred
year old trees. The buildings looked very much like ancient cathedrals,
displaying the college’s rich heritage as one of the first universities in the
country.

“Where’s the science building?”
Steve asked. The four frat boys just looked at each other, scratching their
heads. “None of you know where the science building is?” They all shook their
heads. “What in the hell are you guys majoring in?”

“Rec management,” said one.

“Communications.”

“Journalism.”

“Sports theory.”

“Good god,” Terry said in disgust.
“You guys dropped a hundred grand on that? If the apocalypse hadn’t struck, you
all woulda been virtually unemployable.”

A couple laughed stupidly. “I
think it might be that way,” one of the guys said, pointing. “My roommate dated
a girl that had a roommate that took a class there, once.”

The small group took off in the
direction the kid pointed. Sure enough, they found the science building. Steve
smashed a window and they got inside. They quickly barricaded their entrance.

“We need to secure this building,”
Steve said.

“Right,” Terry agreed. “We need
thick tables, desks, cabinet doors, anything that can board up windows and
doors. If we can’t board them up, we need to barricade them. Desks, chairs,
anything. Got it?” The four frat boys nodded. “You have no idea what we’re
doing, do you?” They nodded again. “Great.” Terry slowed his speech down and
spoke louder. “Find us desks, and boards, okay?” They still looked at him
blankly.

“Let me handle this one, Terry,”
Steve said, stepping forward. “Huddle up maggots!” The four frat boys
immediately formed a tight circle around him. “We got us a hail Mary play,
fourth and long, got it?” they nodded. “We are going to execute a simple
boarding play you sissies. We need you and you to find desks, you and you, any
doors you can pry loose. Got it?” Again they nodded. “Stay away from scary ass
zombies. On three. Ready? One, two, three, break!”

The frat boys gave whoops and
immediately split up to search the building. Steve looked back at Terry with a
smile. “Wow, way to reinforce every stereotype I’ve ever heard of.”

“The stereotypical ones die first
anyway,” Steve said confidently.

“Die first in what?”

“Uh, movies, duh.”

“This isn’t a movie,” Terry said
with a shake of his head.

“Close enough,” Steve said with a
shrug.

Terry was about to argue, but then
nodded, “Yeah, okay, fair enough.”

The two took off down one of the
hallways, looking for barricade material. It took them and the frat boys about
an hour, but they managed to barricade all the doors and windows. They took
refuge in one of the chemistry class rooms on the second floor near the
chemical storage room. The frat boys, Joey, Andy, Rick, and Butch, amused
themselves by playing poker. Terry sat by one of the windows, keeping an eye
out. Zombies were now everywhere on campus and many tried, in vain, to get
inside the science building. Steve was at the teacher’s lab bench in a white
coat with beakers, test tubes, and glass pipes, looking like a mad scientist
playing with his chemistry set. He was very slowly and cautiously, mixing
chemicals, or boiling chemicals, or condensing chemicals. Finally Terry walked
over to the man.

“What in the hell are you doing?”

“Well, in this one I am making
nitroglycerin, and in this one I’m—”

“You’re what?” Terry asked in
disbelief.

“Making nitroglycerin, one of the
original and principle components of dynamite.”

“How in the hell do you know how
to do that?”

“I got a master’s in chemical
engineering.”

“Masters? As in Master’s Degree?”

“Uh, yeah,” Steve said, as if it
were no big deal.

“No shit. I got a Master’s in
ancient history, focusing primarily on barbarian cultures.”

“Cool.”

“But wait, if you have a Master’s
in chemical engineering, why in the hell were you working at Bull’s Eye
department store?”

“Well, why were you?” Steve asked.

“I got a Master’s in
history
,
primarily in the study of ancient,
dead
civilizations.”

Steve opened his mouth about to
say something, but then just nodded. “As for me I get bored easily; usually change
jobs every six months or so.”

“Yeah, but Bull’s Eye Department
store? The place sucks ass, man.”

“I was just waiting around until
the next opportunity, you know, like a zombie effing apocalypse or something.”
They both laughed at that.

“So what’s in this one,” Terry
asked.

Steve smiled. “I’m distilling
vodka.”

“Nice,” Terry said and the two
high-fived. He moved away from the chemistry contraptions and looked to the
others. “Okay guys, time to do the rounds; make sure everything is still
secure.”

All four grumbled. “Didn’t we just
do that?” Joey whined.

“Every half hour, guys. That’s
what keeps us alive. Constant routine and vigilance.”

They got to their feet with
groans. They split up and quickly checked all the doors and windows. Terry was
the third back. When he got back he found both Andy and Rick propped against
the wall, fast asleep.

“Where are Joey and Butch?” he
asked Steve.

Steve looked up from very, very,
carefully filling vials with nitroglycerin and stoppering them. He looked
around quickly and then just shrugged.

“Ah, hell,” Terry said angrily.

He left the classroom they were
using as headquarters and went in search of the two. He entered one hall to
hear loud laughing and giggling. He followed the sound to a classroom, where he
found Joey and Butch sprawled out on desks. They had a metal tank between them
that looked much like an oxygen tank, and were both completely stoned out of
their minds.

“You have got to be kidding me!”
Terry walked over and grabbed the tank to find Nitrous Oxide printed on the
side. “We’re in the middle of an effing apocalypse; on the run from zombies
that have just overrun your school and the only safe haven you guys had and you
two geniuses decided to get stoned?!”

Joey and Butch suddenly got very
serious. They sat up, looking at Terry very intently, then they both looked at
each other, paused, and burst into uncontrollable laughter. Terry smiled and
nodded along with them, and then casually kicked the desk out from under Joey,
who fell to the floor with a slight scream, hitting the tiled floor hard.

“Hey, ow!” he said angrily from
the ground.

Butch just laughed harder, until
Terry pushed him off of his desk as well. “Get your asses back to the others,
you dumb asses.”

Grumbling and complaining, they did.
Terry stopped and looked in the storeroom where they had gotten the laughing
gas. He found several large tanks of gasses, some that could come in handy. He
found a cart and took them back to the HQ.

When he got there he found Steve
yelling at Butch and Joey for bumping the workbench where at least twenty-five
vials of varying sizes of nitroglycerin were laid out. Terry rolled the cart to
the bench.

“What have we got here?” Steve
asked.

“Compressed oxygen, nitrogen,
hydrogen, and even methane.”

“Methane, huh? That will ignite
when just introduced to oxygen. This could come in handy. I could probably rig
some kinda flame thrower as well.”

“Well, let’s get to work then.”

After several hours, all were
outfitted with weaponry. Andy and Rick each had improvised flame throwers.
Butch and Joey were carrying the majority of the nitroglycerin vials, strapped
in makeshift bandoliers. They were planning their escape when Joey suddenly
jumped to the window and pressed himself against the glass.

“That looks like Amanda Skyles.”
He looked back at the others with a stupid smile. “We had Psych 101 together;
I’ve always wanted to bone her.” And with that he sprinted from the classroom,
yelling her name.

Steve and Terry stepped to the
widow and looked out. “He knows she’s a zombie, right?” Steve asked. Terry
looked at him and shrugged. “He wouldn’t be stupid enough to pull down one of
our barricades, would he?” They looked at each other, and then quickly ran
after him.

They reached him on the ground
floor just as he pulled the last of a barricade down. He pulled open the door
calling for Amanda. What he found were zombies. Joey stumbled back with a
scream. Steve and Terry fired over his head and took out three zombies. They
pulled Joey back as more and more zombies poured into the opening. Steve
grabbed the methane tank he’d been holding and hurled it down the hall at the
zombies. It hit one of them and the walker tripped and fell. Terry pulled his
pistol and fired at the tank. He hit it and then all hit the ground.