The Adulterer's Unofficial Guide to Family Vacations, A Novel (3 page)

“Um, hey, sounds like you’re in the same boat as me,” I tried to sound friendly.
I lifted another bottle of beer to his back in the darkness, “Would you like one of these?”

The man straightened, as if I had startled him, then he whirled around to face me.
It was dim, but once again I felt that something was very familiar about him.
Nonsense, I told myself, you’re an idiot.

“Laura?”
He asked.

I froze, still holding the beer in front of me, “What did you say?”

He stepped closer.
I could just see his eyes.
A chill swept through me like a déjà vu with a perverted sense of humor.

“Alan?”
It was barely a whisper.

He nodded, and I thought I could make out a similar look of shock on his face, “I think I will take you up on that bottle.”

Chapter 3

“Alan?”
I repeated myself as he took the bottle from my hand.

He opened the bottle with a simple twist, brought it to his lips and drank.
Then I realized my mouth was still hanging open.

Alan James.
Alan James, the first, serious love of my life, was sitting next to me, apparently in the same situation I was in.
How bizarre.

“How long has it been?” Alan squinted at me, eyes adjusting to the lack of light.

“It . . . it must be about twenty years?”
I stammered out a reply, sounding a little like an idiot.
I wanted to slap myself, but feared that might look too strange.
Alan pulled a chair out of his room and sat next to me.

“Twenty years . . .” he sat back in his chair and took another swallow, “I think you’re right.”

We sat together in silence for a few moments, not really knowing what to say.
Our situation was so strange I guess we had to let it sink in it for a moment.

Never being one to bear awkward silences well, I broke the fast of conversation, “So, your wife bailed on you and . . .”
 

“Yes.
You too, eh?”
He seemed to be just as surprised that I also ended up this way.

“Yeah.
It’s just me and the twins.” I wondered if it really was possible to die of embarrassment.

“Twins?
How old?”

Was he really interested?
Or just making small talk?

“Jenny and Ben are five.
Yours?”

He smiled, “Alice is five, Jack is four.”

Another silence.
I struggled to recall the last time I saw him, but the memory was too hazy.
Foggy images of a tavern near campus danced into view.
I took another swallow of the beer to clear my head.

“And here we are, in the same predicament?
Isn’t that a bit strange?” I fumbled, not knowing what else to say.

He laughed, “A bit strange?
Hell, I think it’s the most unlikely thing in the world!”

I had to agree. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it.
If I hadn’t changed rooms, would we have run into each other?
“When did you arrive?”

“This morning.
We were going to hit one the parks, but the kids wanted to swim.
You?”

“Just this evening.”
I motioned behind me, “they’re asleep.”

“Mine too.”
He looked at me again.

By now our eyes were more focused.
An awkward silence hung between us.
What would Letitia Baldridge say about my etiquette?
How do you correctly greet a former lover?
It’s too late to shake hands, especially when you had once fitted more intimate body parts together.

Jumping up and hugging him would make me look like a drooling mental patient calling out for “Big Hugs!”
Maybe it’s more formal when you’re older.
I started to panic, because for a moment I entertained the idea of sticking a note on his dorm door.
I had to think of something to say.

“You look great.”
Why did I say that?
He looked amazing.
Same thick, chestnut hair, glowing green eyes and wicked smile.

He smiled, and I wondered if it was the first real smile he’d had all day, “You haven’t aged a day.”

Thank God it was dark or he’d see me blushing.
A small stirring swirled in my stomach.

“Have you ever been here?” It was the only question I could think of.

“No.
This was going to be our first real family trip in a long time.”
His shoulders drooped a little and I remembered that this wasn’t a happy trip for either of us.

“This is our first time too.”
And that’s it.
I was out of ideas.
Another yawner like that and he will be putty in my hands!
(Insert sarcastic, maniacal laughter here.)

The silence was deafening.
I wished for background noise . . . crickets . . . happy princess music . . . the Luftwaffe . . . anything.

“I have an idea,” I spoke slowly, not even sure if I should say anything in light of the fact that my mind had abandoned me, “why don’t we take the kids together tomorrow?”

I avoided eye contact, feigning an unusual interest in my beer label and continued, “I mean, I’m not sure I can handle both kids alone, and they’re the same age, and maybe between the two of us we could swing it.”

My heart was pounding madly.
Why did I do that?
There would be nothing more terrible than to be rejected again by the boy who rejected me all those years ago.
But then again, it did make sense, and we’re forty, not twenty.
Honestly!
I can be so immature sometimes.

“That is an excellent idea.”
He pronounced each word slowly, as if the further along in the sentence he went, the more his own words convinced him.

We set a time to meet up in the morning and went into our rooms.
Once the door closed behind me, I sagged against it.
Alan.
Sweet Alan.

I stayed up half the night trying to calculate the odds that something like this would happen, but I never was any good at math.
This was the stuff of romance novels, not real life.
Romance novels?
Why did I associate this with romance?
Because, you dumbass, you once loved him as if nothing else existed on earth.
And he broke your heart.

But we were kids.
We didn’t know what we were doing, I told myself.
But you did love him.
And you were lovers.
Memories from long ago came flooding back.

“Do you think we will always be together?” We had just finished making love in a car I borrowed from my roommate.
It was cold outside so we left the car running.
We always parked in this neglected cornfield.
No one ever stumbled upon us.

“Of course we will,” he replied, “We are supposed to be together.”

I sighed happily, my head resting on his bare chest, content with the chill silence that enveloped the car.
Alan stroked my hair very gently and began to tell me what our life would be like together after graduation as I dozed off dreamily, not a care in the world.

“MOMMY!” Jenny’s cry nearly ruptured my eardrums and I leaped out of bed.

“What?
What is it?” I stumbled to gain my mental and physical balance, still half asleep.
A sliver of daylight pierced the curtains and I started to remember where I was.

“It’s TODAY!
We have to get ready!” Jenny pleaded.
Ben started to run in circles with glee, shrieking those words over and over.

I brushed my teeth and staggered into the shower, keeping it as brief as possible.
As I stepped out onto the mat, I became aware of a banging noise coming from outside the bathroom.
Holding a towel loosely in front of me, I opened the door and prepared to yell at my offspring.

Alan was standing in the room, an amused, yet embarrassed look on his face.
Apparently, we had adjoining rooms.
Apparently, my lovely children had let a complete stranger in.
Apparently, I was barely wearing a bath towel.

“Um, pardon the interruption, I just thought,” he stumbled through his words.
He pointed to his watch, “um, it’s nine.”

“So it is.
I don’t seem to be wearing my watch,” I pulled the towel against me.

“You don’t seem to be wearing much of anything,” he said with an amused smile.
“I’ll just go back to my room and give you a few minutes?” He left before I could respond.

Great.
Just great.
I looked down at the two cherubic faces before me, “Thanks, kidlets.”

“You’re welcome Mommy!” was their unison cry.
Fabulous.
Obviously I didn’t need to worry about what to wear.
It took only a few moments to get everyone dressed and out the door.
Somehow I didn’t think I was off to a great start.

Alan and his children were waiting for us.
Seeing him in the daylight added more jitters.
Both of us had gained a few wrinkles and pounds over the years, but he looked better than I expected.
In fact, he looked great.
His skin even glowed, if you can believe that.
I ran my right hand nervously through my hair.

“You look great.
I was right last night, you haven’t aged a day.”

He had obviously missed something.
My hair was much shorter, a different color and my body a little ravaged by giving birth twice in one hour.
Was this all bullshit so he could have a second adult along?

“Thanks.
You look good too.”
Okay, so I’m not Oscar Wilde.

Alan actually blushed, “You know, I still can’t believe this happened.”

I nodded in agreement, and then noticed four pairs of eyes staring at us in silence.

“Oh!
This is Jenny and Ben!”
My kids smiled at hearing their names.
They looked expectantly at Alice and Jack.
Alan floundered out an introduction.
Apparently, we are both a bit stunned.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

The kids seemed hesitant, but I figured they would enjoy each others’ company.
Homesick pangs hit my stomach.
After all, I hadn’t seen this man in a long, long time.
We didn’t necessarily end things on good terms, as I recalled.
And our relationship was a mere two years, barely the length of a moment when compared to the thirteen years I’d been married.

Still, I was happy not be alone on this trip.
Another adult would make things easier . . . right?

We headed for the food court to eat breakfast.
Alan and I fell naturally into our usual parenting roles, one watching all four kids while the other navigated the choices available for food.

By the time we got on the bus, the kids had warmed up to each other, splitting evenly with the boys-versus-girls idea.
Alan smiled when the girls started comparing their favorite princesses and the boys compared toys they had at home.
It occurred to me that I never thought I’d ever see him in this role.
And it was just as likely that the idea of me with kids seemed foreign to him.

“Your children are lovely.” An older, beetle-faced woman sat on the other side of the aisle, admiring the four, playing happily. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks.
What should I say?

I felt Alan’s arm slide around my shoulders, “Thank you,” he responded amiably, “we’re pretty proud of them.”
Miss Beetle nodded and smiled, then turned her attention back to the window.

“Thank you?” I whispered as he removed his arm.

“Isn’t that better than spending twenty minutes explaining something no one in their right mind would believe?”

The bus came to a stop and we disembarked, corralling four squealing kids.
“Why wouldn’t they believe it?
It happened this way, didn’t it?”

“Well,” he turned to me, “I still don’t believe it.
Do you?”
He had me there.

We kept walking.
Alice and Jenny danced ahead of us.
He’s right, I thought, it was too bizarre.
Still, it’s too late to turn back.
We were at the gates of the park, two strangers who were once lovers, together with their kids.
I had sincere doubts that they made soap opera plots this twisted. Once again, I wondered what would’ve happened if we hadn’t changed our room.

But all of those thoughts abandoned me as I stood, open-mouthed, in front of the place I’d dreamed about for a long, long time.
It’s hard to put into words the way I felt, walking through the gates of paradise.
All of the colors, sounds, smells blurred into a haze of pleasure.
I literally felt all of my stress slipping away, replaced with mindless happiness.
Giddiness formed a bubble in my gut, rising through my throat.
Wow.
If they bottled and marketed this stuff, they’d make millions.

Music from my childhood danced in the breeze.
The smell of popcorn and candy (probably laced with pheromones) filled the air.

I’d never seen anything like this, and I knew right then and there, I never wanted to leave.
We were surrounded by families of all ages and colors.
From the looks on their faces, I could tell they were hypnotized too.
I was head-over-heels in love.
With a place.
With a commercial enterprise.
And I didn’t care.

For a fleeting moment, I remembered that this feeling of euphoria was supposed to be for all of us – Mike included.
Jenny and Ben squealed with delight and I mentally echoed their sentiment. If only that bastard was here.

Okay, I could be miserable and think of what could have been, or I could just enjoy myself.
I snapped out of it to see the same look on Alan’s face.
Was he thinking the same thing?
Wishing Susan was here to experience this with him and the kids?

We didn’t have much opportunity to speak throughout the morning.
The kids had us on a whirlwind tour.
Jenny had to go on every ride seven consecutive times; Ben and Jack pined for adventure.
Alice was determined to stalk all of the princesses.
Several times, I noticed Alan staring at me with what I suspected was curiosity.
I found myself studying him when he wasn’t looking.

Over the years, when I thought of him, I only saw him as a twenty year-old boy.
He had never grown up in my mind, even though I did.
On occasion, I would imagine running into him, but all I could eke out of my imagination was a Mrs. Robinson scenario.
It was like being with someone I had never met, but knew an awful lot about.
Some of the old familiar mannerisms were there, but they were vague, blurred by years of aging.
I liked what I saw, but I didn’t really recognize this man.
There was something subtly erotic about that.

“How about a nap?” I asked, feeling more like Mommy Dearest instead of Mommy-Knows-Best.