The Admirer's Secret (26 page)

Author’s Note

Erotoman
ia (i-rō-
tƏ
-mā-nē
-Ə
);
noun
: a psychological disorder marked by the delusional belief that one is the object of another person's love or sexual desire.

I
n February of 2006, I met a real-life erotomaniac. In fact, I was his obsession. One never would have guessed he was anything but normal, despite a few eccentricities. For several months after a terrible ordeal involving a night of terror, followed by police intervention, a job change, as well as a move, I struggled to forget it, let it go. But it persisted to haunt me. There was only one way to relinquish the pain of the memory: forgive.

I struggled with that concept of forgiveness—how could I forgive someone who tried to utterly destroy me? The Bible talks about loving one’s enemies, but certainly that did not apply to deranged stalkers. Then I dug a little deeper—in my Bible, in my faith, and in my own heart. I found myself at a dead end: Every human being is only one step away from committing heinous evil.

Do you dare think you’re exempt from a downward spiral of evil acts? Have you ever told a white lie? It’s only a few words that separate a tall tale from bold-faced dishonesty. What about anger—a simple disagreement can easily erupt into hurtful words that wound the heart. And “harmless flirting” can easily lead to midnight fantasies while laying next to your spouse in bed. The logical conclusion is that all humanity walks a fine line between thinking and doing. One weak moment can make room for an act you’ll never forget and always regret.

After realizing the frail state of humanity, I suddenly saw a reflection of myself that changed my entire worldview. How could I
not
forgive the person who wronged me, for in turn I would be condemning my very own self for those I’ve wronged in my lifetime. And that day, upon the realization of my own inherent evil, I decided to forgive. Reconcile, no. That was not an option. But forgive, yes. Let it go, yes. Sleep at night, eat regularly, and let my worry go—yes, yes, yes. Forgiveness is a freeing thought and a freeing reality. It freed me to see that erotomaniac as a person.

In this fictionalize
d account depicting a glimpse of what I experienced, you will meet several people—some with quirks, others with intriguing backgrounds, and still others more lovable than chocolate silk pie. All of them struggle with weaknesses, yet all of them need forgiveness. We are all that lovable villain.

A Final Word…

If you enjoyed
The Admirer’s Secret,
uncover the truth behind Allen Michael’s story in the novella
A Fatal Affair: The Allen Michaels Story.

Acknowledgments

Where do I begin? So many people helped shape a dream into a tangible book. My mom, a fellow published author and the woman whose genes gave me my love for the written word.
Dad, for being a living demonstration of what it means to know grace and forgiveness—what this story is all about. Tim, who encouraged me at age ten to submit
Weedlia’s Fate
to my first writing contest, which went on to win first place and fueled a hunger to continue writing. Tracy, for loving me and understanding me. Emily, for your gentle constructive criticism that carried me through those early editing stages… and the many stages that followed. Jess, for encouraging me when I needed to know my story was worth telling. My Creator God, the giver of life and second chances, and who gave me the passion to write and the desire to pursue such a lofty goal as this. To my kids, thank you for letting Mommy get work done. And to my beloved husband who stood by me through more thick than thin, whose love I couldn’t survive without, thank you for being the man of my dreams. Thank you for the back rubs, the countless edits, and taking on kid duty so I could finish. You are my hero, and it’s your support that made this dream a reality.

www.pamelacrane.com