The Accidental Genie (16 page)

She didn’t know what to do with all this warmth. It left her feeling awkward and embarrassed. She’d somehow forgotten how to react to simple kindness. “That’s a very kind thing to say. Thank you.” Her words were stiff and noticeably uncomfortable, but she genuinely meant them.

“Nevah you mind, Miss Jeannie. I been around a long time. Know some stuff ’cus of the years I got under my XXL belt. Seen some things, too. Juss sharin’ it is all. If it helps somebody, I’m glad to oblige. Got nuthin’ better to do any ol’ ways—you know, eternity and all. Might as well make the world easier to live in and help out where I can.”

Tucking her chin into the collar of her sweater, she asked, “So is what Casey’s college friend said really true? Someone has to replace me in the bottle in order for me to be released from this curse?” How could she possibly do something so heinous and still live with herself? Even if she put someone in the bottle who totally deserved it, like a mass murderer, what if they escaped the way Burt had? Then they’d be a mass murderer with out-of-control genie powers, too? She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head.

“Thass the best we got so far, Miss Jeannie. Same as what Mat told ya. Still don’t know why you two stuck together, though.”

Jeannie snorted in a go-figure way. “So either I hunt for a victim or I get used to the idea of bonding with that filthy college dorm of a bottle.” She paused for a moment, then asked, “You think I could squeeze some throw pillows and a lava lamp into that tiny opening? You know, just to freshen things up in there. Make it more Jeannie, less Burt the Twelve-year-old?”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in close to his bulk with a rumbling chuckle. “A’ight now, Miss Jeanie. You got the right attitude. You all jokin’ ’bout your lot in life. Thass a sure sign you gonna be okay.” He held a thumb up at her.

Who wouldn’t be okay with servitude and a new pad to decorate? It was like she’d hit the dream store and found the best dream ever on sale for half off. You just didn’t take gifts like that for granted. “I
will
be okay. No matter what,” she muttered with determination. Because she was a be-okay kind of girl.

Darnell leaned back and gave her a quizzical look, but she was thankful for Casey’s appearance, which kept him from questioning the obvious vehemence in her statement. Casey, petite and slender in her conservative slacks, loafers, and brown turtleneck, eyed Jeannie with a critical gaze. “You okay?”

Jeannie nodded. “I’m fine, really, and I appreciate you finding out what you did, and saving those people from my wishes gone wild.”

Casey perched herself on the edge of the couch where they sat and smiled down at Jeannie, placing a hand on her shoulder. “No worries. It’s all part of the job,” she said as though trips to hell were on par with a career as a filing clerk. “But our spells won’t last long, Jeannie. You’re the permanent fix to this—so we have to find some way for you to fix them in order for the spells to have a lasting effect. If only I had more info, but my friend’s going to keep looking. We’ll find something to help us . . . a clue . . . that damn book from the library, whatever. We always do. Or it finds us.”

Casey’s words and her smile were reassuring, but there’d also been a brief flash of the unknown in her eyes. Unfortunately, that was what stuck with Jeannie, and it made her already uptight stomach turn.

Casey gave her a nudge. “In the meantime, it could be worse, right? Sloan’s not half bad to look at, don’t you agree?”

Jeannie fought a dreamy sigh of agreement and kept her gaze steady with Casey’s. “I guess I could have been tethered to a Jonas brother or, OMG, even Justin Bieber. There really are fates worse than death.”

Casey slapped her hand on her thigh and let her head fall back on her shoulders with a laugh. “There you go. Go you, being all positive. And look at it this way—Nina could have been the one to open that bottle. You could be tethered to the beast. Now that would be total shit.”

Nina was across the room in a blur of dark hair and hoodie. She loomed over Casey, defensive and rarin’ to have a go at her. “Fuck you, fire starter.”

Jeannie rose with a gulp, positioning herself between the two women. She reached upward and gave Nina’s jaw an affectionate pat. Whether Nina liked it or not—and
not
was probably the case—she had a fan in Jeannie. “Now, MWA, no fighting. Remember me? Fragile and battered. I can only take so much chaos before I snap. Who knows what could happen with my wish granting if my emotional state’s in utter turmoil.”

The whole world could explode, for all she knew. Having the fate of the whole world on your shoulders was a lot. If stress activated a wish, she was an accident waiting to happen.

Casey stuck her head over Jeannie’s shoulder, leering at Nina. “You’re upsetting the client, Nina. So unlike your gooey, marshmallowy self.”

Darnell shot up from the couch and wrapped a big paw around Casey’s waist, hauling her to him while simultaneously patting Nina on the shoulder. “Ah, ladies, we got better things ta do than fight. We gotta find Marty and help Miss Jeannie. You don’t wanna leave Miss Jeannie high and dry ’cus you two cain’t play nice, do ya?”

Jeannie nodded and shot Darnell a grateful smile. “What he said. So let’s focus on what to do now. All the evidence points to my ability to grant endless wishes—”

The crash of her front door opening startled Jeannie, making her mouth clamp shut and her eyes open wide. An older, but almost as handsome, version of Sloan stomped through her small living room. His face was a mask of a scowl, his eyes cold bits of blue.

He stalked toward Sloan, who’d been quietly searching the Internet with Wanda, and yanked him up by his collar, making Jeannie’s stomach instantly heave. “Where the hell is my wife, Sloan? We never go more than a few hours without touching base, and it’s been more than a few hours. So where the hell is Marty?”

Keegan’s roaring voice made Jeannie’s chest vibrate. She clenched her hands together and immediately went to step between the two men to run interference. None of this was Sloan’s fault.

But Sloan was too quick. He gave Keegan a hard shove; the slap of his hands against the leather of his brother’s jacket cracked sharply. “Back the hell off, Keegan,” he said from clenched teeth.

His head swung around as he took in everyone in the room with a gaze so intense and hotly angry, Jeannie had to ward off a shudder. “Goddamn it all and you women with this quest to save the world!”

Wanda, always the peacemaker, took on a completely different role as she shook her finger at Keegan. Suddenly, she was a fierce mother, protecting her young.

Pushing Darnell out of the way, she stuck her waggling, elegantly polished nail right under the incited Keegan’s nose. “Don’t you dare swear at me, Keegan Flaherty! Marty loves OOPS. It’s as much hers as it is any of ours. What happened was an accident. Period. Our safety is always at risk, and she knew that. But she does it anyway. Why? Because that’s just who Marty is. Her theory has always been, as has been all of ours—well, except Mighty Mouth’s—if we’d had this happen and there’d been no one to help us through it, what would have become of us? We had each other. People like Jeannie aren’t so lucky. Now I’ll tell you this once, Cro-Magnon man, back off! And you’d better watch your tone with me, werewolf! I know you don’t want me to tell Marty you had the nerve to behave as though she isn’t entitled to do with her life as she pleases. Because I think I know where that fight will leave you . . .”

Keegan’s big body relaxed a bit, but only a little, before he was looming over Jeannie, his eyes filled with hot anger. “So
you’re
the one who’s got the ‘problem’?” He swiped his fingers in the air. If fingers could portray sarcasm, his oozed it.

Jeannie gulped, shrinking beneath his hard gaze. God, he was big and scary. How had two such different men come from the same womb? Keegan was as intense as Sloan was devil-may-care. But she was the person responsible for sending Marty off wherever. She’d own it. “I . . . um . . . am. I’m so sorry. I would do anything to—”

Sloan’s hand clamped on his brother’s shoulder cut her off, the blue of his veins popping beneath his ruddy skin. He jammed his face in Keegan’s. Eye to eye, Sloan’s narrowed in warning. “I’ll only tell you this one more time, and then we’re gonna go, brother. Back the hell off the lady. It was an accident.
Got that?
”

Nina plucked Jeannie up by the waist of her jeans and moved her aside, then she stuck her face between the two men. She wrapped an arm around each of their necks and crowed, “Ass sniffers? I know you don’t want another round like our last touch football game, do you? Remember that, motherfuckers? I slaughtered your asses. I’ll damn well do it again. Take it down a notch and help us, you big, dummy werewolf. Don’t make shit worse.”

Keegan cracked his jaw and took a step back, moving from Nina’s headlock with a grunt. “You know what, Nina? I wish Marty’d just keep her designer-clad backside where she belongs—with me. Because whenever she leaves the confines of my eagle eye, there’s always hell to pay!”

Everyone in the room stood stock-still—not even an eyelash fluttered.

Damn that infernal word.

Jeannie’s breath caught even as her body trembled and the heat in her cheeks flamed. This time, she felt something was going to happen and she knew she was powerless to stop it.

Oh, fire and brimstone.

The lights dimmed, winking on and off, and the floor shifted beneath their feet in a raucous rumble.

This time, the disturbance was followed by a high-pitched screech, an ear-shattering whine that made the windows of her brownstone quake then blow outward with the clink of flying glass. The frozen air from beyond her floor-to-ceiling windows whooshed into her living room in an icy wave.

Her eyes scanned the room for poor Mat and the twins. They’d be scared witless, but the twins were nowhere in sight, and Mat hadn’t stirred from his spot by the kitchen.

Jeannie forgot everything when Sloan lunged for her just as all-out chaos erupted, covering her body with his and sheltering her already damaged face with his hands. She curled inward, forgetting that contact with a male was one of her biggest fears—forgetting that it was especially so with this male.

Bodies flew in all directions and Darnell gruffly shouted something Jeannie didn’t quite catch with Sloan’s hands pressed to her head.

In that moment, despite the shattering of glass and the roar of the floor ripping up in jagged tears, Jeannie allowed herself to experience the first moment of security she’d felt in over twelve years. A sigh escaped her lips, lips that were crushed against Sloan’s rippling chest.

And then everything was still.

Well, until a voice shrilled, “Are you effin’ kidding me, Drakaar? Do you have any idea how much this haircut cost? A little warning the next time warp speed is on the menu, eh? I’ll remember to pack my flatiron.”

Ruh-roh. Was this wish number five?

One wish, two wish, red wish, blue wish.

CHAPTER

8

“It is
Nekaar
, madam,” a regal, cultured voice corrected. There was a hint of indignation in the newest addition to Paranormal-Palooza’s tone.

Jeannie’s swollen eye twitched at the image in front of them; her eyes raced from the tips of this new person’s ringed, bare toes to the top of his shiny tanned head.

Thank God, Mr. Clean was here. Everything just had to be okay now.

Marty, her legs wrapped around the waist of a man in MC Hammer pants similar to Burt’s and a deep burgundy jeweled vest that revealed a hard, tanned wall of a chest, gave his sinewy shoulders a flick with her fingers. “I don’t care what it is. You said you’d get me home safely. How was
that
safe? You almost ripped my face off. Where did you learn to drive that thing? The Big Truck rally?”

Keegan was on his feet and at Marty’s side before Jeannie could process what had just happened. He leered at the man, lifting his wife from the stranger’s well-muscled frame and throwing her over his shoulder fireman-style. “Who the hell are
you
?”

Yeah. What the big, intimidating werewolf said. Jeannie shuffled her cold feet, moving closer to Sloan while she eyed this new stranger.

Obviously, he was djinn, and despite his imposing appearance, he’d likely have some answers to their dilemma. From the way he wore his harem pants, if nothing else, maybe he could give her a tip or two on how to own them with the kind of no apologies that he wore his.

“I am Nekaar, the djinn,” he stated, as though they should have all known that. He said it as if trumpets blaring should follow the words like an announcement. Then he lifted himself off the ground and hovered, crossing his legs and placing each ankle over his tree-trunk-sized thighs, scanning each of their faces with a look of haughty disdain.

From the floor, Jeannie ran her hand over her hair to push it from her eyes and fought to ignore his David Blaine trick so she could focus. His name.
Nekaar.
Where had she heard that? Mat. Mat was the one who’d said Nekaar had cursed Burt to the bottle, hadn’t he?

He was the reason she was in this mess, but before she could accuse him of such, Marty sighed with a loud rasp of exasperation.

She blew her fringy bangs out of her face with a puff, making a face while she swung from her husband’s shoulder. “Keegan, honey? Not today—especially not today. Now put away your ego, and put me down. I’m fine.”

Keegan’s grip grew visibly tighter around the backs of Marty’s knees as he stared down the interloper.

She gave him a hard pinch on the ass. “Put me down, werewolf, or there’ll be no more Me Tarzan, You Jane Tuesday nights,” she warned, making Keegan go from insanely uptight to sheepishly chided.

His face relaxed as he let her slide over his shoulder and down the front of his chest, leaving the tip of her nose touching his. Clearly he’d been worried sick about Marty, if his anger with Sloan over her disappearance was any indication, but more evident was the love his gaze reflected.

A love he wasn’t afraid to share with anyone who looked on. He dropped a kiss on her nose before setting her on her feet, which were encased in slippers much like the one’s Jeannie had worn.

Marty’s eyes twinkled when she cupped his jaw. “You’re the best Neanderthal husband ever, honey. Now give me a kiss and let me get back to what I was doing.” She stood on tiptoe, planted a peck on Keegan’s lips, and then waved a hand at him to go.

But Keegan grabbed her arm, making the tassels on her sky blue, short-sleeved vest shake. “No more of this, Marty. You’re coming home with me before you end up hurt, and you’re doing it now. I’m not going to spend another damn second worried about you and this crazy OOPS deal.”

Jeannie noted the concern and apprehension in Keegan’s eyes for his wife, and she again wondered what it would be like to have someone that devoted to her.

“Oh, you’ve done it now, ass sniffer,” Nina crowed as she rose to her feet, holding out a hand to Wanda to help her up.

Marty’s blonde head cocked so sharply to the left, she resembled a bobblehead. She cast a disdainful glance at Keegan’s hand before she pried his fingers from her flesh and slapped it away. “This
is
my
job
, lover.”

“A job that could get you killed,
honey
. Especially dressed like that and hanging around nuts like him,” Keegan remarked, pointing up at Nekaar, though his tone was much less demanding and far more appeasing now.

“This”—Marty waved a hand up and down her body and wriggled her filmy-covered hips—“was a gift from Nekaar. Don’t you think it’s cute? All those stupid crunches finally paid off. And excuse me, being a werewolf could get me killed. You sure fixed that, didn’t you?” Marty jabbed a finger into his chest for emphasis.

As Sloan helped Jeannie to her feet, she prepared to apologize again even as she hesitantly eyed the silent man with the darting eyes Marty had ridden in on. “Keegan, I’m Jeannie Carlyle, and this is all my fault. I—”

Marty pressed her fingers together and summarily stuck them under Jeannie’s nose to quiet her. “Do. Not,” she blazed before turning to her husband. “I will not have you apologize for something so completely out of your control, Jeannie. I will, however, tell you, Mr. Flaherty, I can do as I please. And if it pleases me to be shipped off to whereverthehell I just was because I’m trying to help a client, then that’s just how it’ll be. I’m more than just your love bunny, sunshine. I have a career. One that makes me happy because I can help innocent people get on with their lives. I’m not just pretty, Keegan Flaherty, and not everything in my life revolves around you, head werewolf. Don’t you forget it.”

“And it’s on,” Nina bellowed with an abrasive chuckle, placing a hand on Darnell’s shoulder and squeezing it, her face gleeful with anticipation.

Darnell grunted at her and rolled his big, brown eyes. “Don’t you go makin’ trouble now, vampire. You just hush.”

Jeannie winced, worried Keegan would react badly to Marty’s reprimand, but instead, he smiled and barked an indulgent laugh. “You’ll be the death of me, cupcake.”

“In a thousand lifetimes, no truer words have been spoken,” Nekaar commented, sucking in his lean cheeks.

Sloan leaned into her, avoiding the hole in the floor to whisper a sensuous reminder, “I told you wherever Marty landed, she was making someone want to yank their hair out. Now, watch and see how she wraps Keegan around those perfectly manicured fingers of hers with just one pout. Did I tell you he was a Nazi when it came to Marty?”

He had. And Keegan was. And it was adorable.

But Marty didn’t let Keegan say anything else. She placed a hand over his mouth and narrowed her eyes in definitive warning. “Not another word. Now, I love you. Be gone so I can work. Take Casey with you. She has that winter formal to help Naomi prepare for. Kiss Hollis and Muffin, tell them Mommy will see them soon.” She blew him a kiss and waved him off.

Keegan’s jaw hardened, but Marty hopped over several chunks of Jeannie’s flooring and popped open her now crooked front door with a saccharine sweet smile. “Casey? Be an angel and set him on fire if he acts up, will you? Oh! Don’t forget to ask Helga to water the plants in the kitchen when you get home, please. I might be gone for several days, but I’ll call you like an obsessed teenage boy calls his stalking victim. Promise.”

Casey nodded her head in the direction of the door and mouthed a “stay strong” to Jeannie. Keegan grunted, but clearly defeated, he slapped his brother on the back before trailing a finger down the side of his wife’s face with an affectionate gaze. Then he was gone, following Casey out the door.

No sooner was Keegan gone than Marty was already turning to the stranger, who appeared to be assessing the mess of her brownstone with an eagle eye. Her gaze up at him was one of admonishment. “Make nice, would you?” She clucked her tongue when her eyes scanned the floor. “I don’t know where you learned your reentry skills, but you need to go back and take that test over, because it blew chunks. So make your magic, Yul Brynner. We have much to discuss with Jeannie.”

He scowled in all his hard hotness, first at Marty, then at the dismal condition of the room. “It is Nekaar, madam.
Nek-aar,
” he said with slow precision, lifting his square chin in arrogant posture as he corrected her.

Marty shrugged her shoulders and hooked her feet at the ankles. “I don’t care if it’s Ruler of the Universe. Fix, Ali Baba. Please.”

Craning his thick neck, Nekaar crossed his long arms over his vested chest, holding up a finger to his lips to silence everyone. He waited with a dramatic pause while the group quieted, then blinked his eyes twice. A loud rumble accompanied a shivering groan beneath their feet.

Order was restored in mere seconds in a cloudburst of blue smoke. In fact, her brownstone was cleaner than it had been in years. Though, no one batted an eye, so Jeannie kept her surprise on the inside in order to fit in. It was clearly all part and parcel of one’s supernatural lifestyle. Still, she stayed close to Sloan as a just in case.

From the corner of the room, Mat woke with a start, exhaling a hacking cough before rising upward to almost his full length, launching into the air, his ends spread open wide. There was a wheezing whistle as he swerved to the left, appeared to locate Jeannie, zeroed in on her, and promptly hurled himself at her, knocking Sloan out of the way.

She fell hard to the ground in puffs of dirt with Mat wrapped around her like he’d done when they’d first met. Jeannie groaned and tapped his threads. “Mat!
What are you doing?
” she sputtered, blowing the dust particles from her eyes while everyone gathered around them, including Nekaar.

“Shhhh, doll. I’m protecting you from the bad genie. Stranger danger. We’re invisible. No one can see us.”

Jeannie scanned the room and all the surprised glances. “Mat?”

“Dollface?”

“Not invisible.”

His fringe bristled with indignation. “The Internet said I’m supposed ta be able to make myself invisible.”

“Oh, that crazy Internet,” Jeannie responded.

“It says I can fly, too. It also said I’m your guardian forever or something. I didn’t read it all on account a I fell asleep. There was a lotta words.”

“What kind of guardian sleeps through an entire room splitting apart?” Sloan asked, his voice full of disbelief and aggravation.

Nekaar still hovering, peered over Sloan’s shoulder and made a sour face full of displeasure. “Oh dear,” he drawled from above, his gaze haughty.

“The room broke?” Mat asked, then coughed.

“Big,” Jeannie assured, stroking him with an encouraging smile. “But it’s okay now. I’m okay now, too.”

Sloan peeled Mat off Jeannie, giving him a shake, and sending more dust into the air. He held out a hand to Jeannie to help her up, then eyed the carpet. “Mat?”

“Eye candy?”

“Not helping,” Sloan retorted before spreading Mat out in the corner. “Stay put,” he ordered.

Nina moved with swift feet, keeping her eyes on Nekaar while she pushed her way to Marty’s side, giving the length of her friend’s hair a tug. “Jesus, blondie. You okay?”

Marty smirked and threw her arms around Nina’s neck, pressing a noisy kiss to it. “Did you miss me, Elvira?” she teased, her blue eyes twinkling.

Nina rolled her eyes in disgust, but Jeannie noted, she didn’t deny it. For a moment, her gaze was chocolatey soft, but then it went hard when she sought out the newest addition to their paranormal sideshow.

She untangled herself from Marty, and as she approached Nekaar, her stance was wide and defensive, her fists tight. Nina hitched her jaw up at him. “You the freak who had Marty all this time?”

He held up a wide, long-fingered hand before squeezing his temples, his expression pained. “Indeed.”

Nina leaned into him and grinned, evil mischief in her eyes. “She why your hair’s gone?”

One deep brown eyebrow lifted, as did the corner of his lip, when he lowered himself to the ground. “Had I any to begin with, I assure you, madam, I would be without now.”

Marty snorted and patted him on the back with a hard slap that jolted him forward. “Oh, c’mon. It wasn’t that bad. I just made some suggestions to lighten up your bottle’s living space. It’s so drab and gloomy. All those deep purples and burgundies need some levity.”

“So where have you been, Marty?” Wanda asked, giving her a tight hug and letting go a sigh that was obviously relief filled. “We’ve been worried sick.”

“I was with Nekaar in his bottle. Don’t ask how that’s where I landed. What I want to know is, how the hell did I get there and who made that wish?” She paused, rolling her tongue along the inside of her cheek. “No. Wait. I know. It was Mighty Mouth, wasn’t it?” She slapped her hand to her forehead. “Of course it was.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I didn’t say it out loud,” Nina groused. “And I didn’t wish for you to be in a bottle. I wished shit that was much fucking worse, but swear on Hollis, I just thought it in my head. Who the fuck knew the midget could grant wishes like she was handing out free samples at Costco?”

Marty’s expression went from mildly annoyed to confused. She pressed her hands to her hips. “Oh, Cheebus. You just thought it? So Jeannie’s granting wishes telepathically?”

Nekaar was suddenly all motion and sound. His ringed toes spread when he flew across her floor and stopped short in front of her. “Is what the flaxen-haired woman with the endless stream of nonsensical words says true, madam? You can grant wishes without hearing the spoken words?”

Jeannie hesitated only for a moment. Clearly, Marty didn’t think he was a threat, which meant he’d gotten the paranormal green light. “That’s how you ended up with Marty. Nina didn’t actually speak her wish out loud. She just thought it, but she didn’t wish Marty into a bottle. She wished something much worse. Which clearly means I need genie lessons . . .” Jeannie licked her lips nervously. None of this made any sense. Nina had wished Marty would fall off the face of the planet.

Pretty straightforward. In fact, most of the wishes she’d granted had all been granted exactly as they’d been requested. So what had gone wrong with Nina’s?