The Accidental Familiar (Accidentally Paranormal Series Book 14) (15 page)

Blushing, she flapped a hand and rolled her eyes at the cat, ignoring the giddy rush the idea brought. Because it was crazy. Rick was no more attracted to her than he was to Arnie.

“Enough already. I’ve been at this job one day, and you’re already shipping us. We hardly know each other.”

Arch gave them a crisp nod and clicked his heels. “Then I shall extend our invitation to the butt-watcher and add another plate to the roster.” As he went off to tend to whatever was creating the delicious scents wafting in from the kitchen and filling the tiny house, Poppy shifted on the bed.

Nina crossed the small space between them and ruffled her hair. “Listen, Ball Crusher, if you don’t want to talk about whatever’s eating you up, you don’t have to. I see you all over here fretting and shit. But when you’re ready, we’ll be here. Okay?”

Poppy nodded, clinging to Carl’s arm. “Thanks, Nina. I appreciate everything you guys have done. I just need to get my footing. But I want you to know, you’re all really pretty great people to just drop everything and help like you do.”

Nina flicked her shoulder with her fingers. “Fuck that. I’m a total bitch,” she crowed. “Don’t go spreadin’ rumors sayin’ any different now.” But she grinned.

And so did Poppy. And as she tucked her misgivings away for the moment and prepared to share a meal with these people, she sent up a thank you to the universe in a moment of deep gratitude.

* * * *

Swirling the burgundy wine in her glass, Poppy sipped at it, stuffed to the gills after an amazing dinner of roast chicken in lemon sauce seasoned with sage and thyme, and the most tender baby potatoes to ever grace her tongue.

Nina was off in a corner, practicing her wand magic with Calamity, alternately setting random things on fire or turning them to thick globs of ice, while Wanda, Marty, and Carl snuggled under a heated blanket on an outdoor couch, flipping through a magazine about planes.

She held up her glass and saluted Arch, who sat next to the women on Rick’s patio by a wide brick fireplace, the hearth festively decorated with pumpkins, mums, and a freestanding skeleton.

“That was an amazing meal, Arch. Thank you.”

He lifted his wine glass, too, tipping it at her with a genuine smile. “’Twas my pleasure, Miss Poppy. Welcome to our ragtag band of merry paranormals. Here’s to many more meals shared with us just like this one!”

Rick rubbed his stomach, leaning back in the chair he’d pulled next to hers. “Wow. Glad I got an invite. I haven’t had a meal like that in forever.”

Nodding, she had to agree. She lived on salads and bag after bag of cheap pork rinds with the occasional apple thrown in for good measure. “It’s really beautiful out here,” she commented with a contented sigh, looking up at the string of globe lights hung in the shape of a square and wrapped around steel stakes driven into the ground.

Huge black iron candelabras held flickering stump candles, giving off the scent of vanilla and pumpkin spice. Purple and orange lights adorned the back of his house around the windows and woven into the bushes. Ghosts made of some sort of cloth swung from limbs on the big tree near the woods edging his property, and there was the most fabulous freestanding witch, complete with cackle when you walked past her, by the table where they’d dined.

“One of my favorite places to relax and have a beer. I don’t get to do it as often as I’d like.”

“I can see why you’d want to. You’ve made it a real haven.” The patio was broken up into small groups of weatherproofed furniture in bright reds and teals, just like the interior of his house, and very unlike the décor in the shed.

“It’s nice, seeing it filled with people like this. It was what I’d intended when I designed it, but work gets the best of me most days, and I never seem to find the time to entertain.”

Right. Avis the snake had mentioned something about workaholics and Rick. “So, I don’t know if you noticed, but you’re really into Halloween.” She pointed to the jack-o’-lanterns scattered everywhere. Yet another side to him she’d been totally unprepared for. He’d really gone all out with the decorating.

He laughed. “Well, it is the song of our people.”

Poppy snorted, tucking a blanket around her waist, snuggling deeper into the soft material. “So witches and warlocks are really into Halloween? I guess I’ve watched too many movies. I got the impression you guys hated the commercialization of it all.”

“Well, you know what it’s like. Traditionally, I mean not the costumes-and-candy, commercial kind of Halloween. There’s lots of folklore and such surrounding the day, of course, but it’s a lot like Christmas for Christians. Only it’s Samhain and such. But in the interest of blending with humans, mostly I just like seeing all the kids in their costumes trick or treating, and there’s nothing I like more than a cool skull.”

“You give out candy to the kids in the hood? Stop. You’re making me like you. I won’t have it,” she teased, poking his shoulder with a playful finger.

“
Full-size
candy bars. Assholes have hearts, too.”

She gasped and feigned over-the-top surprise with a hand to her throat. “Color me aghast.”

“This year, a blood moon’s supposed to appear on All Hallows Eve. You know what that means.”

A shiver skittered up Poppy’s spine. “A blood moon? Sounds rather ominous.”

Rick cocked his head, leaning forward, his eyes going dark and hard. “Sounds ominous?”

She gazed back at him, frowning. “Yeah. I mean, anything with ‘blood’ in it sounds ominous, don’t you think? So explain to me about this blood moon.”

“Explain?”

“Again with the communication problems. Am I the one who’s speaking a foreign language now? What. Is. A. Blood. Moon?”

Sliding to the end of his chair, his strong thigh muscles flexing as he braced himself on the edge, he asked, “Why don’t you know what a blood moon is, Poppy?”

Oh, damn. He looked serious. “Is this some kind of history test? Did I fail?” she joked, twisting the length of her braid in her free hand.

“This isn’t a history test. It’s your heritage. As a familiar, you should know what the blood moon means.”

She was growing more insulted by the second. How the hell was she supposed to know about the moon? “Well, I don’t. I mean, I’ll go right back to the shed now and Google it, if it’s so important to you, but I have no idea what it means.”

“Again, as a
familiar
, you should know,” he insisted.

“Okay, we’re going around in circles here,” she accused, her voice rising. “I’m a familiar, not an astronaut. I know not thing one about the moon other than Neil Armstrong planted a flag there. So chill out already and tell me.”

Setting his wine glass on the table next to him, he said, “We’re obviously missing some kind of link here. If you were raised in the white witch way as a familiar, you should know what the blood moon means, Poppy.”

Oh. That explained it. “Phew. So intense. Ease off there, warlock. I can explain why I don’t know what the heck you’re talking about.”

“Oh, no. Wait. Let me guess. You missed the class on the blood moon because you were on an audition for
Grease
? Or were you doing another local commercial for Maury The Mattress Guy?”

“You know, funny you should mention
Grease
. Do you have any idea what goes into teasing your hair that high? I had knots for days.”

“Yeah. I got chills, they’re multiplyin’. Get to the explanation, please.”

“Like I said, that’s easy. I just became a familiar yesterday evening. It was an accident.”

“And you failed to mention this…
why
?” he asked, his voice rising.

Poppy blinked in astonishment, her voice rising, too. “I did tell you I was a newb.” Hadn’t she?

“Hey! What’s the ruckus, you two? Jesus, I’m trying to turn water into wine over there. Can’t you see that takes concentration?” Nina yelped, suddenly standing between them. “It’s like you damn well want me to set your fancy house on fire, Ricky baby.”

But Rick hopped up out of his seat, his eyes filled with anger. “What I
want
is someone to explain to me why no one ever mentioned a single word about Poppy being fresh off the familiar turnip truck?”

“But I told you I was new at this. Why do you think they’re all here with me?”

“I thought they were your friends! And yeah, you said you were new at this, but I didn’t know you weren’t born a familiar! I didn’t know you didn’t know anything about familiaring!”

Oh, dear. Had they skipped that part? She hadn’t done it on purpose. In fact, it now occurred to her, she’d been so wrapped up in proving herself, in nailing this familiar thing, she’d maybe forgotten a detail or two.

Sliding out of her chair, she stepped around Nina to look up at him. “Okay, so I’m new-new. What’s the big deal? I can learn. I’m a quick learner. Just ask Miss Debra at Dee-Dee’s School of Dance. I learned the soft-shoe in like three days.”

“I don’t care if you found the equation for the meaning of life in three days, you have no idea what you’re doing!”

Sure, that was fair. She didn’t have any idea about anything having to do with any of this. Moving from foot to foot, she nodded her head. “And that’s very fair. I don’t know anything about witches and blood moons and flippin’ whatever else is involved in Sow’s Hain—”

“Samhain!” Calamity shouted, correcting her pronunciation as she circled her feet.

“Whatever!” she shouted back, the emotions of the day and the tone of Rick’s discontent taking its toll. Sucking in the cold air, she forced herself to stay reasonable. “Listen, Rick, this was all an accident. I’m a familiar because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, okay? Two days ago I was a broke dancer in the chorus of a show that ended early and without a paycheck. Today, I’m a familiar, if this mark on my wrist is any indication, and I’m doing my best to do right by you and whatever else I’m supposed to do so I don’t end up in the Bad Place.”

“Do you have any idea all the things that could go wrong because you don’t know what you’re doing? Like this, for instance?” He held up his wrist, the one they still hadn’t figured out how to fix. “So, here’s the score. Tomorrow morning, I’m calling Familiar Central.”

“But we had a deal!”

Jamming his hand into his jean pocket, his angry eyes glittered beneath the pale moon. “And I went into that deal with the idea that you knew what the hell you were doing because you’d been raised around magic and witches.”

Yep. That was the metaphorical sound of her last straw breaking. “You know, I almost wish it were your head instead of your wrist that cracked off, you elitist jerk!”

Of course, the moment Poppy threw those words into the wind was the moment she heard a cracking sound.

Sharp and resonant, it echoed throughout the patio and whistled through the trees at the edge of Rick’s backyard.

After that, she didn’t hear or see anything else—the world and everything around her simply went dark.

“
P
oppyyyyy! Where are you? Answer us, Poppy honey!” Wanda’s voice trilled out into the cold night air, swishing in her ears.

“Swear to fucking Christ, I’ll kill you if we don’t find her. You hear me,
Rick?
Kill you. Like smash the shit out of your skull and hip-hop in your frickin’ brains! She was just trying to do the right thing like a champ, and you’ve done shit-all but bust her ever-flippin’ chops since she started. And I’m gonna see to it you pay for that. So you’d better damn well pray to whatever it is you crazy motherfucker warlocks pray to that we find her!”

Oh, that was Nina, and she was mad. Though, Poppy found she rather liked the vampire’s anger in her favor.

But where was she, and why did her head feel like it was going to pop right off her shoulders? Letting her hand stray to the area surrounding her, she squeezed her fist when she happened on something soggy. Clenching her fingers, she reached around her, skimming the surface. Leaves, she was lying on leaves, and something was poking her in the back.

Then dampness permeated her cold nose, and there was another sharp poke of what was surely a branch.

“Poppy-Seed!” Calamity shouted. “Please be out here somewhere! Give us a yell!”

There was the scamper of little feet in frantic fashion, and crunching leaves, signaling Calamity was somewhere close.

“Popp-eeeee!” someone else howled, slow and stilted, with an emphasis on the letter E. “Come…nooow!”

Carl…aw, that was Carl. She’d know him anywhere, and she wanted to answer him. She wanted to call out, but her head throbbed with the beat of a thousand drums and the mere thought of screaming back left her immobile.

“Poppy! Oh, thank God!” Marty. That was Marty. Her sweet lilt laced with relief as she scooped Poppy up in her arms was a welcome sound. There was a rustle of fabric as she yanked off her jacket and wrapped it around her. “She’s over here! I’ve got her now!”

Feet. Tons of pairs of feet pounded the ground, making her headache throb in time.

Soft as a baby’s backside, Marty’s hand roamed over her face. “Are you okay? Look at me, sweetie. Open your eyes now and look at me so I know you’re okay.”

Forcing her eyes open, Poppy groaned when someone shone a flashlight in them, the abrasive glare making her wince. The trees above her, their limbs creaking in the wind, bounced in the inky sky. Woods. She was in the woods somewhere.

Calamity climbed into her lap, pressing her round head into Poppy’s jaw. “Aw, Jesus and illicit fornication, Poppy-Seed, you scared the shit out of us! You okay?”

Gripping Marty’s arms, she nodded. “If it’s possible, I have a headache bigger than even Rick,” she joked. “What happened?”

Nina knelt down on her haunches, pushing some stray strands of hair from Poppy’s face before she ran the back of her knuckles over her cheek. “Not a fucking clue, Ball-Crusher. One minute you were there, the next you were flying across the damn sky like some kinda human cannonball. I’ve seen some shit, but that was crazy. It was like some damn invisible hands picked you up and launched your ass out here. We just followed the streak of light.”

Which was when she remembered what she’d said before everything went black. She forced herself to a sitting position, shrugging her way out of Marty’s steel grip. “Oh my God, Rick! Did his…” No. She couldn’t say it. “Does he still have his…”