I had to work late again tonight, but when I get home, Phillip is waiting with Chinese takeout and a bottle of wine.
It even has a cork and everything.
He greets me with a kiss and opens the wine. "So I talked to Lori about wedding planning stuff the other day. She told me about a show called
My Fair Wedding
. She says it's all about themed weddings, and that the wedding planner, David Tutera, is amazing. That he can take the tackiest themes ever and turn them into something beautiful. I recorded a few, so we can watch them tonight while we eat."
"Watching TV sounds perfect. I'm tired, stressed, and starved. I didn't even get time for lunch today!"
We spread our feast across the coffee table, sit on the floor, eat, and watch a couple shows.
And, wow! Lori was right. He can take the tackiest theme and make it amazing.
Maybe I need a wedding planner.
Phillip flicks off the TV, and we talk about possible themes for our wedding. Most of the couples had a reason for their theme. We talked about the swings, football, princesses, and Barbie. None of them seemed right.
But pretty soon, the food is mostly gone, the wine is completely gone, and wedding themes seem to be the last thing on Phillip's mind.
He leads me into the bedroom, throws me on the bed, and pounces on me. I have a fleeting thought that maybe our theme should be sex because that seems to be all that's on that boy's mind lately.
I'm happily sprawled across Phillip's body when I joke, "I think our wedding theme may have to be sex."
"A XXX wedding?" Phillip asks.
We get silly talking about ideas for our XXX themed wedding.
David Tutera would be hyperventilating!
"I know," I giggle, "we could use furry handcuffs for napkins rings."
"We could have personalized condoms as our favors!"
"Oh....listen to this!! We could use those big dildos that stand up on their own, and we could like cut the tips." Phillip winces when I say that. "And we could use them to hold the table numbers at the reception!"
Phillip tickles me. I giggle and tickle him back.
"I'll use a vibrator as the base of my bouquet! It could vibrate through the whole ceremony. Can you just picture that? Everyone's all serious, and it's just sitting there shaking?"
"You're silly," he says. Then he attacks my chest with kisses. "I have a better idea. We could do a
Phillip and Jadyn Make a Porno
video."
"We could show it at the reception!" I scream.
"Maybe we should practice a few moves right now," Phillip says sexily.
And uh, yeah. We do.
Practice, I mean.
Sorry, no videos.
After round two, I give Phillip my pouty face.
"What's the face for?" he asks. "We just had amazing, mind-blowing sex. Again. Hell, I even impressed myself."
I roll my eyes at him. "I don't know about mind-blowing." I laugh, but he totally knows I'm lying. It's really hard to lie to someone who can read your mind. And it was oh-my-gosh-scream-it-from-the-rooftops incredible. But I don't tell him that. I don't want him to think he's like all that. He needs to keep working toward a goal or something. "Plus, I think you're just using me for sex." I try to look sad.
He laughs a huge hearty laugh. "Yeah, I am."
I couldn't help but grin with him.
"But I'm just trying to catch up."
"Catch up?"
"Yeah, so the sex and the friendship are even."
"We've been best friends for a really long time."
"Yes, I know. I really do have my work cut out for me," he jokes. "I just feel balance is important in our relationship." Then he says, "Speaking of that, Sunday night when you were sitting on the kitchen island at my parents' house, I had this flashback. Do you remember the night you were all upset about your date with that Mark guy you had a crush on? He tried to attack you before dinner, so you got pissed and made him bring you home. You came over all upset about both him and the fact that you'd dumped Dillon because of him. Do you remember that?"
"Yeah, you were just getting home from Danny's, and if I recall, you weren't much help because you were tipsy and thought the whole thing was hilarious and my own fault."
"Well that, and all I could think about was how hot you looked, how I really didn't blame Mark for wanting you, and how I really just wanted to do you right there on the kitchen island. I even had dreams about it. Do you remember what you wore? Lisa must have dressed you. You had on a short plaid skirt, little white blouse, a navy cardigan. You kinda looked like a naughty school girl."
"Phillip?! YOUR MOTHER'S ISLAND? AND you used to have naughty dreams about me?"
"Oh, yeah. Lots of them. Good ones."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. They would start off with us doing stuff we'd normally do. I never really remembered those parts, but you'd end up attacking me. Like one time, we were sitting on the hood of my car looking at the stars. All of a sudden, you straddled me and attacked me. It was a good dream."
Last night, I laughed and smiled about Phillip's dreams, but now that I'm at work, trying to focus on pulling some figures together for a budget meeting I'm about to go into, my mind is still thinking about it.
Because it's sorta bugging me.
I mean, shouldn't
he
have attacked
me
in his dreams? Shouldn't that have been his dream?
I'm about to have a little freak out in my mind when my cell vibrates.
Apparently, Phillip has shared our wedding theme with Danny because I receive a random text.
Danny :) Grooms cake = strippers jumping out! |
Oh, wow. That's funny!
Me: Groomsmen dress like Chippendales. Meaning a tuxedo with no shirt for you! |
Danny :) Gonna have to work on the abs some more. |
Me: Yeah right, what are we up to now, an eight pack? |
Danny :) Gotta keep the core strong, baby ;) |
Me: Gotta meeting, gotta go. |
I go to my project meeting. During the meeting, I keep getting texts from Danny. Nobody notices this except the guy who's sitting next to me and is kinda a creeper. He always makes slightly sexual comments to me. He's never crossed the line really. He just kinda creeps me out. I can tell he's reading my texts because he just almost burst out with a laugh. He tried to hold it in, which caused him to snort coffee up his nose and have a mini choking fit.
10:08
Danny :) Bridesmaids = sexy school girls. |
11:22
Danny :) Bridesmaids all dressed in different sexy outfits. |
11:23
Danny :) One a sexy school girl, one a French maid. |
11:47
Danny :) Reception = All couples swinging, provide masks for anonymity. |
11:49
Danny :) Whips and chains for party favors? |
It's very difficult for me to concentrate during the meeting, and every time I see my phone light up, I sneak a peek and want to die laughing. Finally, we break for lunch, and although Danny's texts have been entertaining, my mind is still on Phillip's dreams.
I go out to my car and call Lori.
I need to talk about this and probably shouldn't do it at my desk, where everyone can hear about my sex life.
Especially the creeper.
As we were walking out of the meeting, he said, "Sounds like you have some fun when you're not at work, and hmmm, I thought your fiancee's name was Phillip. You're a naughty girl, aren't you?"
And I tried hard not to gag in front of him.
Lori answers, and I'm like, "Phillip told me he used to have naughty dreams about me." I didn't even say hello.
But she goes with it. "And that surprises you?"
"Well yeah, actually, it did, or I wouldn't be calling you about it."
"Oh, Jade. What am I going to do with you? You're so oblivious."
"Hey, don't judge! I need help and advice, and I called you, but never mind."
"Oh!! You called ME to ask for ADVICE?! You never do that! You always call Danny."
"I know, so help me!!"
She makes a little noise that lets me know she's quite proud of this. "Oh well, continue."
"Okay, so in Phillip's dreams, I attacked him. So does that mean his subconscious thought I was hot for him and wanted to attack him, or does it mean his subconscious was hot for me and wished I would attack him, so in the dreams I did? Like if he was hot for me, why didn't he attack me in the dreams?"
"Does it really matter? He wanted you. He's always wanted you, and now you have him."
"It kinda matters to me."
Lori sighs. "Jade, for a girl that barely gives anything she says or does a second thought, oh my gosh, you way over process everything in your mind when it comes to Phillip. Why don't you put that brain to better use and start planning your wedding?"
"One, I like the boy. And two, I
am
working on the wedding."
"Really?!"
"Well, sorta. We watched that show you told us about, but we also drank a whole bottle of wine, and then Phillip kinda attacked me. Lori, he's so freaking sexy. And the sex, oh my gosh, the sex is so...."
"Jade, I thought you wanted my advice." She is not impressed.
"I do."
"But you're not gonna take it, right?"
"Well, I'm not going to forget about this, if that's what you mean. I can't!"
"Why does it matter?"
"I'm trying to determine why I attacked him in the dreams because I have a wild idea."
"Wow, now I'm really impressed you're asking ME for advice. Aren't wild ideas like Danny's specialty?"
"Yes, they are, but I called you because I'm thinking about making those dreams come true."
This sinks in, and she says, "Oh my! As in act them out? Oh, Jade, he'll like that!"
"Well, I hope so, but if I don't understand the dream, it won't be right."
"Hmmmm, hang on. I'm gonna get Danny and put you on speaker. I actually might be in over my head on this one. We need a boy's opinion."
I knew I should've just called him in the first place, but I'm happy I called Lori first because she seems so happy about it.