Texas CHAOS (Texas Heroes Book 2) (20 page)

“Hugh!” Jenna hugged him. “How are you?”'

“I'm great, it's good to see you too.” Hugh tipped his hat and smiled, keeping a hand on her shoulder as if to anchor her to the ground.

“Hey, don't I get a hug?” Dixie asked as Jenna turned to her and gave her the same welcoming treatment.

“Yes! When Anne said she was going to ask someone to come, I had hoped it would be you two!”

“We wanted to come and check on you. You took quite a fall off of that bull and I didn't get a chance to check on you.” Hugh held his hat in his hand.

“I'm great,” Jenna exclaimed. “Look!” She held out her hand so the diamond on her finger was evident.

“Congratulations!” Dixie hugged her again. “Logan?”

Logan sidled up quietly. “Yes, Logan. Who else?”

Hugh and Dixie both gave him calculating looks. “Congratulations, sir.” Hugh held out his hand.

Logan shook it, but his hackles rose at the respecting 'sir'. Shit. There was probably as much difference in his and the young cowpoke's age as there was between him and Jenna. In other words, he was old enough to be this man's father. “Thank you.”

Dixie hugged him, albeit a little awkwardly. “You'd better be good to her. You're all she's ever wanted,” the woman whispered fiercely at him.

“Of course.” Logan appreciated her sentiment, but didn't really welcome her interference. “I thank you both for bringing my wife's truck home.”

“Our pleasure,” Hugh assured him.

“Can I get you two some lemonade?” Jenna gestured toward the porch. “Please, come sit down.”

Hugh looked at Logan sideways. “Well, we don't have long.”

“We can spare a few moments,” Dixie said brightly, linking her arm with Jenna's. “Tell me about the wedding.”

As the two women walked ahead, Logan attempted to make conversation with Hugh. “You bronc ride?”

“Yes, sir.”

Sir.
“How's your rides been?”

Hugh grinned. “Your stock's the toughest, that's for sure.”

Logan nodded. He prided himself in his animals. Unable to hold back the question, he asked it. “You got to know Jenna pretty well on the circuit?”

With a frown, Hugh stopped short in his tracks. “Yea, I did.” The response made Logan's stomach turn over. “I got acquainted with her well enough to know she was head over heels in love with you.” At Logan's surprised glance, Hugh's face grew dark with disgust. “She's amazing. Do you know how damn lucky you are?”

Logan didn't know whether to be happy or angry. God, he was confused. “Yes, I'm aware. My wife is a blessing.” He was just about to add more to that, but the conversation between the women drew his attention. He let Hugh go ahead of him up on the porch...while he listened.

“Anne said she talked to you about being in the movie.”

Movie?

“She did.” Jenna scurried around, adding a pillow to a rocking chair. “Come help me get the lemonade and we'll talk.”

Logan stood on his wide front verandah with hand on hip and watched as Jenna and Dixie headed through the front door. “What did she say?” He turned to look accusingly at Hugh. “Do you know what she's talking about?”

With an almost satisfied look, Hugh took a seat. “Anne, the head of Cowgirl Angels', was contacted by a big movie producer to showcase one of their routines in a rodeo scene. The movie is some modern day romantic western or something.” He leaned back in the rocker, shielding his eyes against the noonday sun. “She didn't tell you?”

Logan growled under his breath. He was about to ask more questions when one of his ranch hands came up with some papers for him to sign. The man recognized Hugh and they struck up a conversation about his standings in the PRCA. While they were chewing the fat, Logan was stewing. Jenna had an opportunity to be in the movies, to showcase her incredible talent? Grasping a chair, he sat down. There was no way in hell he was going to hold her back. And there was no way in hell she'd ever know what it cost him to push her to go.

“Get the door, Dix,” Jenna said as she balanced the tray full of lemonade and cookies.

“Sure thing.” She stepped aside so her friend could walk through. “Look, I understand why you're not interested. But you need to be sure. This would only involve a few weeks’ commitment and it's a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

Once Jenna came on to the porch with her burden, both Hugh and Logan jumped up to help her. A minor struggle left Logan the winner, but Hugh managed to pull out Jenna's chair. “Thank you!” she told them both with a smile. “I hope you all like the cookies. I made them earlier today, a new recipe.” Jenna knew she sounded inane. “Logan, wasn't it nice for Hugh and Dixie to bring me my pick-up?”

“Absolutely.” Logan nodded, accepting his glass of the tart beverage. “Now, tell me about the movie.”

Jenna pressed her lips together. There was no use discussing something she had no intention of doing, but Dixie was not like-minded.

“This is amazing. The producer is some hot-shot Italian and he wants to capture the essence of the American western experience. Many on the circuit have been offered appearances. I have a cameo shot barrel racing, the Cowgirl Angels would be featured.” She leaned forward placing a hand on Jenna's arm. “But the person they really want to focus on is Jenna. They're fascinated by what she can do and how sexy she looks doing it,” Dixie finished with a giggle.

Hugh chimed in. “I think Jenna's character is slated to be set as the starlet's best friend. So, she'd have a minor role in the movie other than the rodeo background.”

“I've always thought Jenna was a star.” Logan couldn't help but admit.

Jenna held up her hand. “Look, this isn't anything that tempts me even a little bit. I love riding. I love rodeo. But what I have now with Logan is a thousand times more important. Being here with him,” she grasped Logan's hand, “is what I've always wanted. I wouldn't trade being here with him for all the movies in Hollywood.”

Her little impassioned speech seemed to impress Dixie and Hugh. “I knew you'd say that,” Dixie confessed. “I just thought you ought to realize your options. The producers are not giving up hope. They say that if you change your mind, they can always edit the footage in.”

“I think you ought to do it.” Logan's voice came out of nowhere.

Jenna was shocked. “I'd have to be away from home. Away from you.”

“You'd just be spending time with some friends, like a vacation.” Dixie urged clearly trying to win her over to the idea.

Hugh seemed to have good enough sense not to comment. Logan felt like his guts were tearing into. He remembered the words of his old Chief. 'I loved her till she hated me.' He wanted Jenna to have every opportunity and every privilege a young, beautiful woman should have.

Jenna looked at Logan. What she saw on his face was not what she expected. He seemed to be encouraging her to leave. What was going on? “I don't know,” was all she allowed herself to say.

After that, the two couples finished their lemonade in near silence. When Hugh rose to leave, Dixie didn't dispute the idea and neither did Jenna. She did, however, thank them profusely for being so kind to her. No more mention was made of the movie.

Still without speaking, Jenna stood watching them leave. After the dust had settled, she turned to her husband who had the good grace to look a bit guilty. “Why do you keep making suggestions that would push me away?”

“I'm not.” Logan stated, then realized it wasn't true. “Hell, I just want the best for you, Jenna. I want you to have it all.”

“You don't understand, do you?” She looked at him sadly. “You are the best for me. You're all I want.” Turning, she left him standing there.

Logan intended to talk to her, but he got called to a fire, a big one. The blaze was hard to fight and required all of the resources they possessed. Several other units had to be summoned and the Stonewall Fire Department worked for hours containing the fire that consumed two businesses before it was done.

When he returned home it was to find Jenna already asleep. She looked like an angel lying on her side, with her hands folded on the pillow near her face. She'd worn a sheer nightgown and he wondered how long she'd waited up for him. After he undressed and showered, Logan slid beneath the covers and her body turned toward his naturally, like a flower seeking the sun. This was their first night not to make love, but holding her close was its own form of sweet torture.

He wrapped his arms around her and she nestled close, letting out a long sigh. While the darkness settled all around them, Logan stroked her back and wondered if he was doing the right thing.

* * *

The sun woke Jenna streaming through the east facing window. She blinked her eyes and flopped on her back. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was after eight. Logan was long gone. Frowning, she wondered why he hadn't woken her up. With a discontented grumble Jenna rolled over and buried her face in his pillow. Breathing deeply, she inhaled his beloved scent. Hay. Leather. Grass. All man. “Logan, what's wrong?” she whispered.

Gently she stroked the spot where his head normally lay. Was he unhappy? Mentally she reviewed the time they'd been together. She'd been so ecstatically happy and just assumed he was too. A small smile came to her face. He was incredible in bed and she seemed to make him happy there. They'd burned up the sheets sometimes three times a day, not to mention the other places she'd coerced him into making love.

But what about the rest of the time?

Was she in his way? Maybe she pushed to be too close, too involved. Some men needed their space. Logan had gone out of his way to encourage her to be independent. To go back to school or to get a job off property. Now he was suggesting that she go back into training with the troupe for this movie deal.

Was he trying to get rid of her?

An uneasy feeling crept over her heart. What if he regretted marrying her? Logan was his own man. He had no problem attracting the opposite sex. Her husband was a god, the man could have any woman he wanted. Doubts and insecurities plagued her. What if she wasn't enough? What if he found her boring outside the bedroom? Or, oh God, she sat straight up in the bed. What if he was ashamed of her in some way? Like her lack of education? He'd mentioned that several times. Maybe she just didn't have enough to talk about or he was afraid she wouldn't fit in with his friends. She still remembered how it felt to know he hadn't informed the other firemen they were married.

And then it hit her...

Logan had never told her he loved her.

Not once.

Frantically she relived all of the times they'd had sex, when she'd whispered words of love and adoration to him. And other times when she'd just hug him and tell him she loved him. He'd kiss her or say something...but never 'I love you'.

Not once.

A feeling of desperation washed over her as tears filled her eyes. Jenna didn't know what to do. She needed her mother. But since she didn't have her, Logan's mother would have to do.

Dragging herself from bed, Jenna mechanically completed her morning tasks. She was glad to see that Logan hadn't gone to work hungry. He'd found the breakfast casserole she'd made the night before and warmed it up. When she was dressed and ready, Jenna came down the hall and noticed a blinking light on the answering machine. She'd teased Logan about his out-of-date technology. Before she pressed the button, she checked her cell phone but there was no message of any kind there. Going to the machine, she sat down to listen – it was Logan.

“Hey, babe. Hope you're feeling good this morning. I've been asked to go to College-Station to teach a three-day class. The instructor they'd booked had to cancel. They're in a bind so I'm going to pitch in. Take care of yourself, go somewhere with one of your friends. I'll check in with you tonight and I'll be home before you know it.”

His voice was full of concern but not one word of love. Jenna hugged herself and debated how to go about fixing this brand new marriage that seemed doomed before it began. She loved Logan so much. In her naivety, she thought he felt the same way or maybe that she could make him feel the same way. As long as they were together, she could endure being the one who loved the most. Maybe. Well, she had three days to come up with a plan.

Grabbing her purse, Jenna headed out the door and up to the main house in need of advice and a hug. To give herself a few extra moments to think, she opted to walk across the ranch instead of take her pickup. As she walked, Jenna let her mind flow over the events of the last few years. Gray Wolf Ranch had become her world. Her life before the fire seemed dim. The years she'd spent with her real family seemed to be nebulous and obscured by smoke and time.

Strolling through the deep grass under the oaks made her nostalgic. Stormy saw her and came running, so Jenna stopped to greet one of her best friends. “Hey, girl.” She buried her head in the horse's mane. Was she kidding herself? Did she belong here with Logan?

Once she moved on, she didn't need to announce herself. Louisa spotted her as she was hanging out the wash. “Jenna!”

The familiar voice gave her a sense of peace. Jenna hurried up to embrace Logan's mom. “Hey, are you busy?”

“Never for you. Earl's gone to town but I need a cup of coffee and a snicker doodle. How about you?”