Texas CHAOS (Texas Heroes Book 2) (11 page)

Drawing up into a ball, Jenna tried to breathe. What had she done?

Shame and pain warred in Jenna’s breast. She’d thrown herself at Logan. He was a man. Of course, he’d react to a woman’s nakedness.

What he’d said would haunt her every day of her life.

I didn’t want to want you.

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she rose and went to the living room, dressing as quickly as possible. Surrounded by his things, aware she was in his home, all she wanted to do was get out. How could she have been so wrong? Jenna had been sure that if she could just show him how wonderful their being together could be, that he’d realize how right they could be together.

Well, she was wrong.

Now all she wanted to do was disappear.

Once she had her shoes on, Jenna found her purse. Pausing, she listened to the shower running. Logan was washing her touch from his body.

With a keen of despair, she opened the door and ran into the night.

The Gray Wolf ranch house was nearby. If she could just get there, Logan’s parents would take her back to Dixie’s and she’d never have to see Logan again.

Back at the cabin, Logan was desperately trying to get his head on straight. He stood bowed under the shower with his face resting against the tiles, letting the hot water wash down over him. He’d fucked up. It had never been his intention to have sex with Jenna. Her place was on a pedestal, not in his bed. He’d just taken advantage of her misplaced love for him. Oh, yeah – Logan knew she loved him, but that love was all snarled up with loyalty and hero-worship and gratitude. 

So, what was he going to do now?

He knew what he wanted to do…something so inherently selfish that it made him ashamed.

Logan wanted to go right back in there and love her again. He wanted to cherish her. God in heaven – he wanted to marry her.

And he should, it was only right. After all, he’d taken advantage of her. Taken her virginity. Hell! He’d been so fuckin’ excited that using protection had never even occurred to him. What a lame ass juvenile move! Logan groaned. She could be pregnant.

With his child.

Slapping the wet marble with the palm of his hand, he cursed himself. Did he do this on purpose? Was he so desperate for her that he’d unconsciously instigated this whole thing to bind her to him for life?

No matter, what’s done was done. It was up to him now to make this right. To make her happy. God knows, if loving the woman with his whole heart would do it – Logan Gray had it covered.

Climbing from the shower, he toweled off. Gazing in the mirror, he thought he looked old. And lying on his bed was the most perfect creature God had ever created and she seemed to want him. And what did he do? With a harsh laugh, he admitted, “Not much.” She’d given her beautiful body to him and he hadn’t even kissed her breasts or tasted the ambrosia between her legs. He’d lost it like a teenage boy and just fucked her, taking his pleasure and barely giving her any at all.

Well, next time would be different. He’d see to it. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he went to face the music. “Jenna?”

No answer.

“Jenna, I want to apologize. I didn’t mean what I said…”

The bed was empty.

Logan moved into the hall and down toward the living area. “Jenna?”

It didn’t take long for him to figure out that she was gone. “Dammit!”

Rushing back to the bedroom, he dressed. She’d left on foot and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out where she’d gone.

Over at the ranch house, Louisa had her arm around Jenna. “Just calm down, sweetheart.” They’d heard a small knock on the door and found her standing in the darkness in tears. “Where did you come from?”

“Would you take me to Dixie’s?”

“Let me get on my clothes.” Earl made his escape. He’d been lying in bed watching sports.

“Of course, we’ll take you anywhere you want to go.” Louisa guided Jenna to a chair. “Or you could just stay with us.” Logan’s mother was never one to miss an opportunity.

“No, no.” She insisted. “I can’t do that. I need to get away. Far away.”

Louisa sat down next to Jenna, picking up the hem of her dress – which was on wrong side out. The picture was becoming clearer. “You’ve been with Logan.” That was why she’d arrived out of nowhere on foot.

“Yes. And it was a mistake.”

“He didn’t hurt you.” He was Louisa’s son. This wasn’t a question. She knew Logan adored Jenna and would never do anything to cause her pain. Not intentionally.

“Just my pride and my heart.” Jenna acknowledged her role in the matter. “This is my fault, not his.” Looking up at the woman who meant so much to her, she confessed. “I made a mistake, but I can’t see him. Not now.”

“Okay, honey.” She stood, searching for her keys. “Earl?”

Jenna heard the front door open and bang close. “Jenna!”

It was Logan.

“Please, I don’t want to talk to him,” Jenna whispered.

“Stay there, son! We’ll be right out.”

Logan’s father joined them and Louisa told him enough so he’d understand. “I promised her that we’d take her into town. Explain to Logan.”

Earl ran a protective hand over Jenna’s hair. “I’ll do it, but Logan is the last person you should ever fear.”

“I don’t fear him,” Jenna whispered. “I fear myself.”

Earl shook his head and went to face Logan.

“Where is she?” Logan immediately asked his dad.

“She’s with your mother.” He frowned. “What did you do?”

Logan had the good grace to blush. “I made a mistake. Several of them.”

Placing a hand on Logan’s shoulder, he dropped his voice. “She wants us to take her home. She doesn’t want to see you right now.”

“I have to see her, Dad.” Logan clenched his hands into fists. “She’s my life.”

“I know. I’ve known for a while.” Earl smiled at his son. “Just give her time.”

Logan didn’t like it. “Jenna! I’m sorry!” he shouted. What more could he say?

“Just go on home and let us take care of her.” He walked Logan out onto the porch. “Everything will be okay. You’ll see.”

Logan wasn’t so sure…

A few minutes later, Jenna sat primly in the backseat of Louisa’s car, trying not to think about the disaster of a night. She never should’ve entered that stupid auction. Logan had thrown away a small fortune and she’d thrown away her virginity to a man who hadn’t wanted it.

Watching the passing scenery going by, not really seeing a thing, Jenna admitted she’d gotten what she deserved. Logan was all she’d ever wanted and she would never have been satisfied if she hadn’t tried.

“I’ll have someone pick up Stormy soon,” she announced to the two in the front seat.

“You don’t have to rush into anything, Jenna.” Earl cautioned her. “In fact, I wish you wouldn’t.”

“I won’t ever abandon you two,” she promised them. “But I need to move on.” Opening her purse, she stared at the business card. Cowgirl Angels, Moore, Oklahoma. Maybe it was time to call Laramie’s friend Anne.

CHAPTER FIVE

Three weeks later…

“Are you sure this is wise?” Hugh Brantley, a bronc rider from San Antonio, stood on the lower rod of the galvanized metal fence next to pretty Jenna Travis. “If you’re trying to prove something to somebody, this is a helluva way to do it.”

“Just tell them to open the gate.” Jenna shifted on top of Rainmaker, a big grey Brahman bull who was huffing and stomping in the chute. “I know what I’m doing. I’ve done this before.” She hoped she was right about knowing what she was doing. Leaving Texas and everything she knew behind had been hard.

Hugh shook his head. “If you were my girl, I’d tie you to the bedpost. This is crazy. You weigh a hundred pounds and this monster weighs a ton.”

“I weigh a hundred and fourteen, I’ve gained a couple of pounds,” Jenna observed dryly. “I’m tired of just prancing around the ring and looking pretty.”

Stepping off, Hugh threw up his hand to signal the man manning the gate controls. He held his breath as the monster bull shot from the chute and began bucking and spinning in the arena. Holding his breath, he watched the young woman strive to keep her grip on the bull’s massive body.

Jenna felt like she was riding a tornado. She’d been on the backs of bulls before, but Rainmaker had a reputation. When his hoofs would slam against the dirt, her whole insides would jar hard enough to rattle her teeth. The binding she wore on her breasts helped, but it was still the most intense whipping pressure she’d ever endured. He spun right and she spun left, her body flying through the air like a ragdoll.

Kerwhop!

The air whooshed from her lungs leaving her gasping.

Shouts filled the air and she could feel the ground vibrate as Rainmaker pounded the dust with his hooves.

“Are you all right?” Hugh bent over her, as someone else herded the irate bovine through the gate.

“Yep, I’m good.” Jenna gasped, trying to set up. “Man, what a rush!”

Hugh was amazed when her face broke out in a smile. “Wanna do it again?”

“Yea, I do.”

He helped her up.

“Not so fast, Travis,” Danny Hargraves called from the stands. “Anne wants to get in another practice before we leave in the morning.”

“Oh, all right.” Jenna brushed herself off, ignoring the stars she could still see dancing in front of her eyes. “When?”

“She’s called a meeting in the stands in fifteen. Saddle up Stormy and get ready.”

“Want some water?” Hugh asked, picking up Jenna’s hat and slapping it against his knee.

“That would be great,” she smiled at him. Hugh Brantley was a good looking guy. Tall, lanky with a close shaven goatee, she would’ve had to be blind to not realize he was interested. It was just too bad that he seemed like a kid to her. He was probably two years older than she was, but compared to Logan… Well, there was no one who compared to Logan.

Hugh put a hand on her back to steady her and Jenna walked with him out to the back of his truck where he had a five-gallon water cooler sitting on the tailgate. Filling a paper cup, he handed it to her, trying not to notice how beautiful she looked leaning against the side of his fender. “That guy still calling you?”

“I don’t know.” Jenna gave him a slight smile. “I turned off my phone.”

“Your friend, Dixie, she still fending him off?”

Jenna shook her head, amused at his persistence. “Yes, so far. I talked to her on the landline in the bunkhouse last night. Dixie can be as stubborn as me.” Especially since Jenna told her a little about what happened the night of the auction. Draining her glass, she held it out for some more.

Hugh gave it to her. “I guess you’d better get a move on. Do you want me to saddle Stormy for you?”

Jenna stared at his kind face, wishing she could reciprocate his feelings. “No, thanks. I’ll get it.” Giving him a quick hug, she stepped away. “I appreciate you helping me with Rainmaker.”

Hugh kicked the ground with his boot. “I don’t like you doing it and I’m sure that guy who’s been calling you wouldn’t either.”

Jenna winked at the young man. “Yea, but what he doesn't know won’t hurt him.”

With a swish of her hips, she took off to the corral. Stormy would be glad to see her and they needed the practice. Riding with Cowgirl Angels was different than just performing on her own. The timing and precision necessary to carry out the complicated moves and formations took hours of repetition. Since Jenna could perform various advanced tricks, she’d been chosen to be one of the featured riders. Tomorrow would be their debut in Oklahoma City.

Stormy whinnied when she saw Jenna coming. “Hey, girl!” In short order, she had her saddled and was on the way to the arena. Passing by a group of cowboys, she saw one who made her think of Logan. A big man wearing his hat down low on his face. A thrill of awareness shot through her. She remembered what it had been like – his big body covering hers, his cock pounding into her pussy. Her core went wet with the memory. The cowboy glanced toward her as she rode by and the illusion shattered. No one was like Logan. No one.

As she entered the arena, the other girls were all lined up. More than a dozen bronc and bull riders sat in the stands to watch the rehearsal. Jenna took her place and Anne sat in front of them on a big gray horse. She directed the routine with a whip. At first, Stormy had been leery and would shy away from her. Now she was used to it and fell into her place like she’d been working with the group for years.

Anne gave her signal for the music to start and a patriotic number filled the air. The ones who were the flag bearers started off and the rest fell into line. Most of the girls were former or wannabe barrel racers and almost everyone, except Jenna, was a former rodeo queen. She was one of the few brunettes, the norm here seemed to be waist length flaxen hair and big boobs. Jenna felt like a brown wren among a flock of flamingos. 

Ginger Edwards was undoubtedly the leader of the group. A former cheerleader and gymnast, she was dang good. The only problem Jenna had with her was that she was bossy. According to Ginger, Jenna needed to loosen up and flirt with the crowd. Maybe she was right, smiling hadn’t been easy lately. Layla Rossi was one of the prettiest girls she’d ever seen, with long auburn hair and an infectious laugh. Jenna admired her most because she knew what she wanted and she went after it. Trick-riding was just one part of her life. She also worked as a veterinary assistant when she wasn’t on the road. Layla had the rest of her life planned while Jenna was just biding time until she could figure out what to do next. Jody Barnes was the sweetest girl in the troupe as far as Jenna was concerned. If Dixie thought she looked like Jasmine, Jenna thought Jody looked like Elsa in Frozen. The iconic rodeo queen, Jody was even designing a line of western clothing. All in all, the girls were talented and ambitious, Jenna felt like she was out of her league.  

Once they were on the move, however, Jenna forgot about her shortcomings and just enjoyed the ride. There was a thrill like no other when she could make her body one with the horse, finding the rhythm to keep her balance as Stormy went through the paces, the wind whipping through her hair. When she lost herself in the show, thoughts of Logan were far enough away to give her peace.

Seven hours south…Logan had no peace.

“Listen up!” Logan rapped the table. “We will score high in this training exercise or I’ll make sure that each of you catch the holiday shift from now till retirement age!”

“What’s up with the chief?” Jason whispered to Liam who had slid down in his seat so as not incur the wrath of their leader.

“He lost his woman, that’s what I heard.”

“Do you two have something to say?” Logan barked – not in the mood for bullshit.

“No, sir!” Jason answered like he was in the military and Logan Gray was his commanding officer.

Logan waved his hand in dismissal. “Just get out there and give the equipment one last check. We’ll run through it again tomorrow.”

He threw down the chalk he’d been holding and stalked off to his office. Yea, he was being an asshole. Taking his troubles out on his men wasn’t the way of a good leader. The truth was – he was going out of his mind. From the moment he’d walked away from Jenna, leaving her curled up on his bed after he’d taken the precious gift of her virginity – he hadn’t laid eyes on her since. She’d left, running to his parents who’d driven her into Austin where she’d been staying with her friend.

Stupidly, he’d given her a day or two like his father had asked, saying she needed time. What he should’ve done, was go to her, storm the walls of her defenses, and demand she listen to him as he apologized. He was a damn fool. Jenna had never hidden the fact that she wanted him and he’d pushed her away twice. Logan didn’t intend to do it a third time.

If he ever found her again.

When he’d gone to Austin to talk to her, she’d been gone. Dixie, the friend, seemed to take almost sadistic pleasure in informing Logan that Jenna was gone and had no desire for him to know where she was, much less follow. Since then, he’d tried everything he could think of, called everyone he knew – to absolutely no avail.

Jenna was gone and it was his own bloody fault. Logan had no one to blame but himself. If he’d left her one message on her cell in the last few weeks, he’d left a thousand. Wherever she was, Jenna did not intend for him to find her.

Carrying on with his day to day life was becoming almost impossible. And that was why his mood had gone to hell in a hand basket.

***

Two months later…

“Sign me up, I’m ready.” Jenna bounced on her tiptoes as she laid down the money to compete in the bull riding category.

“What does Anne have to say about this?” Danny asked, watching Jenna sign on the dotted line.

Jenna wheeled around with her receipt and number. “She was against it at first, until she saw the publicity it was generating. I’m only one of a handful of females competing against men in the most dangerous sport in the world. Cowgirl Angels has been booked in three extra events, just because they want to see me ride.”

“You mean they want to see you kill yourself,” Hugh grumbled behind them.

“Stop worrying.” Jenna waved them off. “Didn’t you see that girl fall off her horse in Oklahoma City? She was barrel racing, her horse slipped on a turn and she broke her leg in three places. Accidents happen sometimes.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Moving ahead of her, Hugh opened the door and let Jenna step through to the outside.

“Maybe, but I would think that prize money you won in Lawton would do the trick.” Jenna laughed. “Walk with me over to the stockyard. I want to check out the bulls.”

“All right.” Hugh grumbled. Over the past six weeks, she and Hugh had developed an easy friendship. He’d just about given up on anything more. Apparently Jenna was a one-man woman and he wasn’t that man.

Jenna kept the smile pasted on her face. She was getting pretty good at pretending to be happy. If she had to lie down on an analyst’s couch and spill her guts, she was mighty afraid they’d say she was using the danger and the adrenaline rush to numb her emotions and get her mind on something else other than Logan.

Maybe. Whatever. It made the days easier to get through.

“Who did you draw?” Hugh asked as they neared the bull pens. He held his nose. “The fragrant smell of manure never gets old, does it?”

Laughing, Jenna pulled the receipt from her pocket. “Let me see. I didn’t even look.” Glancing at the name, Jenna stopped so suddenly she almost fell. “Oh, my God. What’s he doing out of Texas?”

“Who? Let me see?” Hugh grabbed the paper. “Damn, you got Bushwhacker. He’s unridden. You are so crazy.”

“That’s not what’s bothering me.” She stepped behind a trailer and peeped around. “I know Bushwhacker. I helped raise him. He belongs to Gray Wolf Stock.”

“Wouldn’t that disqualify you?”

Hugh wasn’t getting it. “I don’t know, I don’t think so. It’s not like I'm on friendly terms with the bull.” Scanning the crowd around the stock pens, Jenna felt her heart pounding in her chest. “I know you’re here somewhere. Where are you?”

“Who?” Hugh was helping her look.

And then she spied him. Big. Powerful. Sexier than sin. So good-looking it made her knees weak to look at him. “Logan. My Logan.”

“Where?” Hugh scanned the crowd.

“The big guy directing traffic for the trailer that’s backing up.” Jenna was weighing options – like flying to South America or hopping on Stormy and riding north toward Canada.

“Damn, no wonder I never had a chance. He looks like the guy who played Superman, only he’s wearing a cowboy hat.”

Jenna had to laugh. “No, he doesn’t.” She smiled. “I always laughed and told him he looks like McSteamy on that hospital show, the same guy who plays the Captain on that program about the Navy ship where they’re trying to cure the plague.”

“Hmmm, whatever.” Hugh figured they looked like two idiots peering around a corner. “What are you going to do?”

“Hide.” Jenna paused to think. “Logan doesn’t really watch the rodeo. He concerns himself more with handling the stock and taking care of them. There’s a good chance he won’t even know I’m here.” She collared her own throat, feeling her heartbeat beneath her fingers. “There’s no way I can let the Angels down, so I’m just going to have to risk it.” Grabbing Hugh’s hand, she pulled him. “Let’s get out of here.”