Tequila Mockingbird (12 page)

On a boring note: raw ginger should not be consumed by children under two.

A
poppy culture legend! If your knowledge of Dorothy (and her little dog, too) extends no further than the perennial classic film, you ought to take a look at the book that began it all—lest you miss the spicy stuff (killer bees; a crow-murdering Scarecrow) that didn't make it to the silver screen. Baum intended the novel as a one-time effort, but his publishers basically printed cash with his
Wonderful
words, and fourteen books in all appeared over twenty years. Follow your heart, freeze your brain, and have the courage to create a drink fit for a good witch: yellow as a brick road and swirly as a twister.

5 ounces pineapple juice

2 ounces coconut cream (like Coco Reál Cream of Coconut)

1 banana

Add the ingredients, plus a handful of ice, to a blender. Blend until smooth, and pour into a rocks or highball glass. Now, click your heels—or glasses—three times.

Hungry for something more substantial than even the most heavily garnished drink can deliver? You've come to the right place. When you're ready for a midpoint refuel from that shoulder-strainer of a book, try your hand at the following snacks. Grade-school treats disguised as grown-up eats, these bookish bar bites are fabulous for finicky guests and solo readers alike. Caution: this section may contain nuts—and that's just the protagonists.

D
ifficult to believe, but when Charles Dodgson's (aka Lewis Carroll's)
Alice
debuted, critics derided the bunny-chasing, hookah-puffing storyline as utter nonsense. Ah,
critics
: that was the point—and Carroll's enchanted world became inspiration for myriad films, musicals, and spinoffs. Bite into our mushroom treat, just like Carroll's daring darling might have. It might not make you taller, but it'll certainly leave you grinning like a Cheshire cat.

MAKES 1 SANDWICH

½ tablespoon olive oil

10 cremini mushrooms (about ¼ pound), roughly chopped

Garlic salt and pepper, to taste

2 slices white bread (like Wonder Bread)

½ cup shredded Swiss cheese

Heat the olive oil in a skillet. Add the 'shrooms and stir for 5 minutes. Sprinkle the garlic salt and pepper and remove from heat. On a plate or cutting board, top one bread slice with the cheese and add the warm mushrooms from the skillet. Scrape out any bits from the skillet and recoat with a little olive oil, returning to medium heat. Make a sandwich with your slices and cook each side for a few minutes until nice and toasty. And if anyone comes near your sandwich? Off with their heads!

H
ark! A movie version that actually ups the ante! Lauren Weisberger's roman à clef, allegedly paralleling her time as assistant to
Vogue
editor-in-
charge
Anna Wintour, was a dishy phenomenon, strutting to the top of the
New York Times
bestseller list for a nice long catwalk. Chick lit turned chick flick with megahit results, led by Meryl Streep's silver hair (and tongue) and Anne Hathaway in dumpy mode. Dress down this cocktail-party standby with model-skinny ingredients and Prada-bright paprika flakes. Remember: every hall's a runway.

MAKES 12 SERVINGS

6 large eggs, hard boiled and peeled

1 (12-ounce) container of hummus

2 teaspoons lemon juice

½ teaspoon white vinegar

Salt and pepper, to taste

Paprika, for garnish

Insult the eggs until they fall to pieces, or just cut them lengthwise and remove their yellow-bellied innards. Toss out half the yolks, mash the rest in a bowl with hummus, lemon juice, and vinegar, and spoon it all back into the empty holes. Now, take the most attention-grabbing lipstick-red paprika you can find and go to town embellishing: you never know when someone's taking a picture.

C
harles Dickens knew his way around an empty belly: a one-time factory boy himself, Dickens was paid per
word
for his serialized novels, and
Oliver Twist
was an instant success with tabloid-hungry readers—even if critics called Dickens out for his shilling-seeking verbosity. Still, the adventures of a naive orphan who runs away, joins a gang of thieves, and ends up adopted by a wealthy family in the countryside remains good, if wordy, fun. Leave the gruel at the workhouse, because we're dressing up a college dorm appetizer in rich-kid clothes. Our lemon-twisted olives might compel your hungriest guests to beg for more, but this one's a cinch—and an Oliver-worthy steal.

MAKES 3 CUPS

3 cups mixed olives (all varieties)

2 teaspoons lemon zest

1 teaspoon olive oil

3 fresh rosemary sprigs

1 garlic clove, peeled and finely chopped

1 teaspoon dried red pepper flakes

Combine the ingredients in a jar or lidded container and give it a good shake—you've had enough practice after all these cocktails. For unexpected beggars at the door, serve in a bowl right away. Otherwise, keep this one in the fridge as a backup for lean times—provided those times arrive in the next couple of weeks.

H
ave your mate and eat him, too! Erica Jong's controversial, woman-liberating seventies novel follows a nearly-thirty poet on an overseas trip with her second husband. Our gal Isadora is not a happy traveler, so she decides to “fly,” indulging her wildest sexual longings—with a different man than she arrived with. Groundbreaking at the time,
Flying
may go down as soapy and self-obsessed, but it takes off as a rule-breaking, hear-me-soar manifesto. Lose none of your favorite chip's zip with our guiltless snack, coaxing kitchen newbies with just three ingredients—since two is never satisfying enough for anyone.

MAKES ONE “POPCORN BOWL” OF KALE

1 bunch kale (about 4 cups, packed)

2 tablespoons olive oil

Coarse salt, to taste

This is a good, crunchy snack after a bad, crunchy breakup. Take your head out of the oven and preheat to 375°F. Wash and pat dry the kale, tearing it into bite-size pieces and discarding the stems. Toss the kale with oil and salt in a medium bowl, and then arrange on a cooking sheet so the leaves don't touch one another. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes (nursing a bottle of white wine while you're at it) and remove from the oven. Let cool for 5 minutes—and start making the next batch. You're gonna
blow
through these, so to speak.

N
o literary conversation (or recipe book, for that matter!) would be complete without a nod to lifestyle brand Oprah Winfrey, who came undone for this author's earlier work. By the time
I Know This Much Is True
landed on her book club rotation, Wally Lamb was a bookselling bonanza.
True
follows the histrionic exploits of a pair of twins, one of whom pulls a Van Gogh on his own hand, chopping the poor thing off in a library. A meditation on the shadowed, sad, and very Sicilian history of one family, this novel is also a battle cry for mental health care in this country. With apologies, you'll go nutty for a candied mix that'll spice up any family gathering—whether it needs it or not.

MAKES 4 CUPS

4 tablespoons (½ stick) salted butter

4 cups mixed pecans and cashews

2 teaspoons garlic salt

1 teaspoon ground pepper

½ teaspoon cayenne pepper

Pinch of light brown sugar

Melt the butter in a pan over medium heat, about 3 minutes. Add the nuts and stir to coat. Add the spices and sugar, continuing to stir until totally dissolved, and then lower your heat and let cook for 8 to 10 minutes, turning the nuts throughout. Remove from heat, allow to cool off, and transfer to a serving bowl. These are so easy to enjoy, you could eat 'em single-handed.

D
isney don't own it! Peter Pan, the flying boy with
serious
growing-up issues (he crows like a rooster in public, among other things) is the brainchild of one J. M. Barrie, and was the inspiration for countless cartoons, recitals, and children breaking their ankles after leaping from their second-story windows. “All children, except one, grow up”—or maybe two, after you fix yourself this middle-school standby.

MAKES 2 MINI PIZZAS

1 English muffin, toasted and sliced in half

1 tablespoon marinara sauce

½ cup grated parmesan and provolone cheeses

Dried oregano, to taste

Spoon equal amounts of the marinara and cheese on your toasted English muffin slices. Top with the oregano, and microwave on high for 30 seconds to 2 minutes, depending on which war your appliances were manufactured after. Serve piping hot—and clap if you believe in easy snacks.