Tell Me Lies (19 page)

Maddie handed him the beers. “Drink. You’ll be okay.”

He popped the top on the first beer and drank half of it down. “Come here and sit beside me.”

His voice was low and went straight into her spine. Twenty-four hours ago, they’d been in the backseat. Maddie shivered a little at the memory. Now they were only a hundred yards from Em. “No, thank you.” Maddie looked around at the dark landscape and the starry sky to distract her thoughts. “This is pretty down here.”

“I have this hammock fantasy about us,” C.L. said. “Come over here. I need TLC.”

Maddie sat down on the ground, out of arm’s reach, far enough away that she couldn’t accidentally lean into him because it would feel so good. “Anna said you stole things when you were ten.”

“If you’re going to throw my past in my face, you can go now.”

This was a good idea. The last thing she needed was to be out here in the dark with C.L. Maddie got up to go, and he leaned out of the hammock and caught at the hem of her shorts. “I lied. Don’t go. Sit down and have a beer. I’ll share.”

He tugged on her shorts again, and she felt his fingers warm on the back of her thigh. It felt wonderful, which was a bad idea, so she pried his hand off the hem and then off her hand and sat on the ground again, her skin still tingling from his touch, changing the subject before she lost her mind and jumped him. “Was it nice growing up here?”

C.L. relaxed back into the hammock. “Mostly. Anna had a hard time with me. She was so sad when I screwed up. I couldn’t stand that.”

“My mom used guilt trips.” Maddie leaned back in the cool grass. “Still does. She says, ‘The neighbors will think I didn’t raise you right.’ Sometimes I think my whole life has been spent proving to the neighbors that my mother raised me right.”

“She raised you right,” C.L. said. “You’re damn near perfect.”

No, I’m not.
That was the other Maddie, the one who’d been pretending for thirty-eight years, and Maddie felt a spurt of irritation that C.L. was still fixated on the fake instead of the real Maddie. Dreams must die really hard for him if he still thought she was a Good Girl after all the screaming they’d done the night before in the backseat.

Which reminded her of Bailey. “Not that perfect,” she said. “I’m being blackmailed.” C.L. sat up in the hammock and Maddie went on. “Bailey wants a hundred dollars to keep his mouth shut.”

“What an idiot.” C.L. relaxed back into the hammock. “I’ll take care of him. He didn’t upset you, did he?”

“Are you kidding? With everything else, Bailey is comic relief. But yes, I would appreciate it if you’d take care of him.”

“My pleasure, ma’am. Rescues are my specialty. Want a beer?”

Maddie peered at him through the dark. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“No. I’m too wiped out by that damn mower to have ulterior motives. Christ, I must have mowed a thousand acres. Come here and comfort me.”

“You are a man among men,” Maddie said, searching for a topic to distract herself. “What’s C.L. stand for?”

“Nothing.”

“What do you mean, nothing? Your mother named you C.L.? Just the initials?”

“No,” C.L. said. “My mother named me Wilson. It’s a family name. Is this going to be a big deal?”

“Wilson Sturgis.” She started to giggle and let it grow into a fullblown laugh. “So what does C.L. stand for?”

“Chopped Liver.”

Maddie snorted in disbelief, and he explained. “One day I came home, I was about seven or eight, and my mother was talking to some old neighborhood lady about my sister, and it was, Denise can do this, and Denise can do that, and Denise is just too wonderful for words. So I said, ‘Hey, what am I, Chopped Liver?’ Denise called me Chopped Liver for a couple of weeks after that and then she shortened it to C.L. and it stuck.”

Maddie sat stunned. “Did you mind?”

“Hell, it was better than Wilson.” He sipped his beer. “I kind of liked naming myself, you know? I got to be whatever I wanted, no matter what my mom thought.”

That sounded good, naming yourself, becoming whatever you wanted to be. Impractical, but good. Maddie leaned back in the grass to think about it and saw the moon, high and beautiful and spooky white. “It really is beautiful here.”

“We really are going to make love in this hammock someday,” C.L. said.

All Maddie’s peace went up in flames as desire slammed into her again. “Stop it.” She stood up. “I think you’re terrific, and I’m more grateful than I can ever tell you for what you’ve done for Em, and yes, I do really, really want you.” She stopped for a moment at the thought. “But—”

“Not now,” C.L. finished for her as he sat up in the hammock. “I know, Henry and Anna are just up the lawn and you’re not divorced yet. I can wait, it’s all right. And the things I do for Em are because I like Em, not for you, so you don’t need to be grateful. Em and I do all right on our own.”

Maddie stood caught by what he’d said. “Em and I,” he’d said, as if he knew Em, as if she was somebody apart from the daughter of the woman he’d slept with. As if he was thinking of her as a person he knew, somebody he cared about in her own right. It was so far from any idea she had of what C.L. was that it took her breath away and made her want to fold into him, crawl into his arms and let him absorb her and Em and everything.

“I have to go in,” she said. “Anna and Henry will be wondering.” She walked away from him then, as fast as she could, back toward the house and her daughter, and with every step she wanted to turn back more. When she reached the porch, she turned and saw him watching her in the moonlight, and that made everything even harder.

“Henry!” Anna came to sit with them, putting a jug full of foamy milk in front of C.L. “He can stay as long as he wants, the longer the better.” She patted C.L.‘s hand. “He’s home where he belongs.”

“He needs a vacation to cool off,” Henry said. “He can come back home later.”

“I’ve been thinking about that,” C.L. said. “Coming home, I mean. Is that offer for the land next to the house still open?”

“Oh, C.L.,” Anna said, and Henry scowled.

“You go back to the city and think about it,” he told C.L. “You calm down first.”

“That land’s yours any time you want it, C.L.,” Anna said. “You just say the word.”

“I thought I might talk to Howie Basset sometime about a house,” C.L. said to Henry. “Might be a good idea to have me next door. That way, we could go fishing a lot easier when you retire.”

Anna nodded and smiled and undoubtedly kicked Henry on the ankle because C.L. saw him wince.

Henry looked torn. He said, “C.L., I am warning you,” but he said it without any force, and Anna broke in and said, “You go see Howie today. Bring him out here. He should start soon if you want to get in before Christmas. He could build it before Christmas, couldn’t he, Henry?”

Henry shot C.L. a dirty look and picked up his fork. “If C.L. doesn’t cool himself down here, he’ll have it built by the weekend.” He pointed his fork at C.L. “You always were a hothead, and it always got you in trouble, and it’s doing the same thing now. You slow down and stay away from—” He broke off after a quick look at Anna. “You stay out of trouble,” he finished.

Anna passed the hash browns to C.L. “You go see Howie today. It’s Sunday, so he’ll have the time.”

“Yes, ma’am,” C.L. said, and heaped potatoes on his plate while he ducked Henry’s glare. He was going to move slow. But Anna was right, if he wanted Maddie and Em in a house with him any time soon, he’d have to see Howie today.

Right after he saw Brent.

“I’m warning you, C.L.,” Henry said over his pancakes.

“I’m hearing you, Henry,” C.L. said, and thought about Maddie and Em safe in a new house next door.

“Well, what in the world is she doing out there?”

“We’re both out here.” Maddie tried to sound positive and truthful as she started into the story she’d rehearsed the night before. “Things have been hectic at home, so we came out here for a break.”

Her mother’s voice was sharp. “Where’s Brent?”

“I don’t know.”

“Maddie, what’s going on?”

Maddie took a deep breath. “I’m leaving him, Mom. I’m filing for divorce tomorrow.”

The long silence told Maddie her marital trouble wasn’t news to her mother. If it had been, she’d have said, “Oh, no, you can’t,” or something else off the top of her head. The silence meant she was choosing her strategy.
Forget it, Mother,
Maddie wanted to say.
You can’t change my mind.
The problem was, her mother usually could. Of course, that was before the New Maddie. The one who slept with other men and poisoned her husband.

When her mother’s voice came again, it was soothing. “Now, Maddie, I know he’s a problem, but don’t be hasty.”

You have no idea how much of a problem, Mother.
“I’m not being hasty. I’ve thought about it, and I know what I’m doing. I called a divorce lawyer.”

“Oh, no, not Wilbur Carter.”

“Jane Henries in Lima.”

“Well, that’s good. Anybody but Wilbur Carter.” Her mother caught herself and went back to the fight. “Although I think you should think about this. Divorce, Maddie. I know your generation thinks it’s nothing—”

“My generation does not think it’s nothing.”

“—but it’s a terrible thing. Think of Emily.”

I am thinking of Emily. She’d hate Rio
. “Mom, I know what I’m doing.”

“Well, there’s no need to rush, is there? You don’t need a divorce tomorrow, do you?”

Come to think of it, she didn’t. With Brent safe in Brazil, she could take decades to get a divorce if she wanted. “No, Mother, I don’t. I won’t rush.”

“That’s all I ask.”

For now
, Maddie thought.

“And if you change your mind about Em, I’ll be here.” Her mother’s tone implied that she was always where she was supposed to be, something her daughter certainly couldn’t claim. “Are you sure you feel well enough to visit Gran?”

“As well as I ever feel when I’m visiting Gran,” Maddie said. “Oh, and Em has a dog.”

“What?”

“C. L. Sturgis gave her a puppy yesterday. They cannot be parted.”

“Maddie, have you been seeing that man?”

Maddie closed her eyes and took a gamble. “Mother, have you heard that I’ve been seeing that man?”

Her mother’s voice was doubtful when she answered. “No.”

Maddie let out her pent-up breath. Bailey had kept his mouth shut. “Don’t you think you would have heard if I had been?”

“Gloria said you sat on your picnic table with him for hours. Drinking.”

“Gloria also hired Wilbur Carter. What does she know?”

“Well, I suppose you’re right. What did you say this Sturgis boy does for a living?”

“I didn’t. I don’t know. I have to go.”

“Call me when you get back from Gran’s,” her mother said, and Maddie hung up.

“I know. I like her pretty much, too.”

Em went back to her breakfast pancakes, keeping one eye on her mother. “I like C.L., too.”

Her mom sort of jumped, nervous, which was not good. Usually her mom was so calm she was boring. “He’s a good guy,” her mom said. “You need some more syrup?”

“So you like him, too?”

“He’s an old friend. We were in high school together.”

Her mom passed her the syrup. Em put it on the table beside her. Food wasn’t what she was interested in, even though Anna’s food was something else. “Was he in school with Dad, too?”

“Yes.” Her mom cut into her pancakes and forked up a huge bite. “With Dad and Aunt Treva and Uncle Howie and a bunch of other people. Just like the friends you and Mel have.” She popped the bite in her mouth, and Em leaned back to wait while she chewed so she could ask her another question. Her mother never took big bites. It was unhealthy. She must be stalling.

The high school thing was an interesting side trail, the idea that someday she and Mel would be grown-up and so would all their friends, and some of them would go away and come back. She wondered what Jason Norris would come back like. Maybe like Doug on “ER.” And he’d stop by to see her, like C.L. had.

Em frowned as her mother swallowed. “Were you like boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Nope.” Her mother passed her the strawberries, and Em put them next to the syrup. “The only boyfriend I ever had was your daddy. Boring, huh?”

“Maybe.” Em swallowed and asked the question she didn’t want to ask. “Where’s Dad?”

Her mother blinked and looked peppy again. “Uh, well, I think he’s working on something for the company.”

Em felt cold. She was pretty sure that was a lie, or at least a cover-up. It didn’t sound right. Something for the company didn’t sound right. Not the way her mom said it.

Anna came back in the kitchen then and said, “Em, do you need anything?” and Em knew she had to shut up about her dad.

“No, thank you,” she said. “This is delicious.” It was, too; she just didn’t want to eat. She wanted to know what was going on.

“It’s Sunday, so I have to go see Great-Grandma today,” her mom said, real peppy. “You’re going to stay out here with Anna so Phoebe can run around. Is that okay?”

“I guess so,” Em said.

“Anna said something about making strawberry pie,” her mom said. “That sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?”

“I guess so,” Em said.

“We’ll have a real good time,” Anna said firmly.

“Wait’ll you see the necklace I have for Great-Grandma,” her mom said, and her voice sounded a little desperate.

Em gave up. “Let me see it.”

Her mom dug the necklace out of her bag, and it was really ugly, a big gob of red glass hanging from a fake gold chain.

Em nodded. “She’ll really like it. You’re not wearing anything else, are you?”

“Nothing I want.” Her mom sounded better again, but Anna was looking at them funny, so her mom said, “My grandmother has a way of taking whatever you have that she wants. So we distract her with stuff we don’t want.” She turned back to Em. “Right, Em?”

Her mom sounded like she really wanted Em to agree, like what Em said really mattered even though it didn’t. Em just nodded.

Her mom put on the necklace and kissed Em good-bye. “Have a good time with Anna and Phoebe. Help with the dishes.”

“Don’t tell Great-Grandma about Phoebe,” Em called as her mother went out the door. “She’ll make me give her to her.”