TEEN MOM TELLS ALL (3 page)

One good thing came out of
it all, I
learned from it.
I didn’t repeat the cycle. I accepted
responsibility for my stupidity and didn’t point the finger at
someone else. As I got older, I kept accepting responsibility and
accepting accountability. That’s called maturing.

&

“You can do
better once a caring person takes the covers off,
AND
the
comforter
AND
the
pillow cases.”

Katrina Robinson

Revolutionary

War

After working my clerical
job for a while, and seeing the lifestyles of other professionals,
the light bulb came on. I’m a professional now. “Everybody doesn’t
live like this” I thought. I started listening to their
conversations and watching their lifestyles. It was a totally new
exposure for me. People were saving money, buying property, taking
their children on vacation, and wearing classy suits. They were
living on career and education tracks. Nobody was wild, and making
crazy choices. People were living by personal plans and
budgets.

Time to learn the rules of
professionalism. All the jobs I had prior to the college didn’t
really require office etiquette or workplace attire. I messed up
real bad in the beginning. Transitioning from the welfare rolls
into the workplace took some adjusting. I couldn’t wear my spandex
pants, tank tops, or toe out sandals. This job required me to sit
outside offices in public view. I represented the company, not
myself. I had to learn that the phone

UGLY is not a bad word…

U.

G.
otta

L.
ove

Y.
ourself

Katrina Robinson

Being called “ugly”
hurts. It does make one want to change their
appearance to stop mean words from coming in their direction. But
we live in a real world. Somebody somewhere will always have
something negative to say, even if it has nothing to do with looks.
We cannot escape criticism. Someone will always occupy the seat of
jealousy and hate. Expect to get your feelings to be hurt.
The key is, knowing the person who said it may
have their own doses of negativity to process.
It has nothing to do with you.

Their comments have an
assignment. They were spoken with the intent to harm and
intimidate. The ultimate goal is to
steal
potential
.
A
negative self-image will do it every time. I can’t tell you the
number of people that hold important positions, have influence and
money, but still carry a negative self-image. It is evident when
they exhibit cruel behavior towards others. Most often, they look
down on individuals valuing them based on political or economic
status; not on character. Don’t let someone else’s measurement of
your value occupy your mind. That is out of your control. Don’t
carry anybody else’s burdens
.

Negative people don’t want
to see you happy or empowered
. Miserable
people, who see themselves as worthless, love company.
Tearing a person down is easier than pushing them
to fly!

“EVERYTHING
is
ALWAYS
up for
grabs.”

Katrina Robinson

You’ll

Never Be

Nothing

The next time someone says that to
you respond with all boldness, “That’s a lie.” They may look at you
funny, but say it again so they know you mean it. Then put it
behind you. The person speaking knows assuredly they have no clue
what
your
future
holds. Treat them like they don’t!
Seize
the opportunity to stop negativity in its tracks.
People who say those things need help that you
cannot give. They obviously have low regard for your feelings,
personal value and desires. Understand that. They are speaking from
a realm that they have no knowledge of….
your future
.
See it for what it is.. a
WAR
tactic to steal hope.

In an abusive environment, such
things are said repeatedly. They are often spoken in anger. A means
of attack, deliberately aimed directly for the mind and the heart.
Guard against it. If it’s not being said, it is expressed in
action. We can tell when someone doesn’t have our best interest at
heart. We can tell when they are anticipating our failure. They’ll
mock our dreams behind our backs. They’ll pounce on brilliant ideas
with negativity. Pessimism will rule the atmosphere. Future goals
and plans shared with them will be ignored. Other derogatory
comments may come out like “you’re crazy”, “what an imagination”,
“there ain’t no way”, or “don’t come crawling back to me when you
fail.” These are seeds of fear. You can’t afford to absorb junk
into your emotional system! Those words and attitudes are full of
poison. Would you drink a poisonous drink if you knew it would kill
you? Certainly not. Then treat negative words with the same
tenacity and attitude. Don’t adopt a negative perspective about the
future. The battle for a long, fulfilling life is already over if
hope and belief is surrendered.

Hearing this as a child can be
painful and lingering. Hearing it for the first time at any age can
be shocking. It may leave you wondering, “Is that really how they
feel about me? Was it something I did? Is there any truth to it? I
thought I was O.K..”

People have all kinds of motives
for doing and saying negative things. Some people hate themselves
so much; their mission in life is to make other people miserable.
Unfortunately, they really don’t see anything wrong with that. They
rationalize it as expressing their opinion. Or maybe “just trying
to give you a dose of reality.” Well, when it comes to negativity,
you have the right to ask them not to. Self-esteem, self-respect,
and confidence are not tangible. They are intangible; housed among
your mental and emotional faculties. But they can still be damaged
parallel to being shot, stabbed, or clobbered. If somebody attacked
you physically, I’m quite sure you would defend yourself to the
fullest. The same is with negativity. Defend and fight
diligently.
DON’T NEGOTIATE WITH
NEGATIVITY. NEGATE IT!

Some of you have been deemed
stagnant because of family history. People are convinced of
another’s ability to advance based on bloodline. “Just because
momma and daddy were alcoholics, doesn’t mean I’ll be one. Just
because everyone in my family lived in poverty, doesn’t mean I
will. All of my cousins use drugs, but I am an exception to the
rule.” Nobody is subject to live in a cycle if they choose not
to.
CHOICE has power in it. It steers the
future, empowers to succeed, and defends against
interference.

“
If you make them sick, they
probably already were.”

Katrina Robinson

You Make

Me Sick

Within the context of
being made sick outside of a physical condition, one shouldn’t be
made to feel like a walking sickness. In other words, being told
“you make me sick” implies that the mere
sight of
or
dealing with
you brings a repulsive
feeling. It can’t feel good for that to be part of your identity.
Especially when it’s driven by another person’s anger, jealous
rage, or bouts of self-deception. For example, kids being told they
“make someone sick” because they are “just like their
father/mother”. Well, if two people come together and have a child,
the child will have traits of one or both of the parents. It’s a
little unfair to view them as “sickening” for being what was
produced genetically. The child had no control over
that.

I made my mother sick
because of her own personal notions of my having sexual feelings
toward my father. Although he was abusive to my mother, he treated
me like a normal dad should. He never did or said anything
perverted to me. I was his daughter. (And he didn’t mind handing
out discipline). On more than one occasion, she accused me of
trying to be with him or gain his attention in the wrong way.
That’s an example of self-deception. A person is not concerned
about the truth, they have adopted their own. Don’t bother trying
to having discussions or “set the record straight”. There’s no
telling what the root of their accusations are. Sickness is
complete denial of the truth, refusal to hear the truth, and
refusal to accept it. Down the road, do you know we confronted her
mother-in-law for accusing her of the same thing? She accused my
mother of having feelings for her husband. It angered my mother so
much, she took me to grandma’s house with her to confront her. My
grandmother made the accusation, in person, right in front of me.
They argued a short time, but we left before it got out of control.
What a vicious cycle of lies! My mother never made the correlation
between how she treated me and how she was treated. Maybe she was
blinded by all the pain and disappointment of life.

If you are around people whom you
make sick, the best thing to do is get away. Usually “you make me
sick” comes from someone close. Yes, even husband and wives hear
this phrase from the very person who made personal vows and crawl
into bed with them at night. The person who said it knows your
personality and they’ve made a determination;
you repulse them.
It doesn’t matter
what the reason is. Just look for the quickest exit out of their
presence. Every person will not feel that way about you. It’s easy
to get stuck on the “who” instead of “what what said.” If we focus
on the "who", we nurse the pain. But if we focus on “what was
said”, we can start moving toward breaking away. There are options.
We can decide to rid our space of negative people, no matter who it
is. I’m famous for deleting phone numbers. No need to carry dead
weight. I severed a few relationships on Facebook too.

“You are……………. THE
ONE.”

Katrina Robinson

The

Matrix

The MATRIX
is a metaphor for choice
.
A choice to live in the shadow of
the past, or in a hope filled future. Two worlds. Two pills. One
choice
.
The first
pill returns one to the world with which they are familiar. The
mundane, the regular, the predictable. The other leads to a new
life, or “the truth.” A life in the realm of the unseen. That realm
is unfamiliar, and undiscovered; but made available by a team of
people prepared to assist. A war is on and you have been invited…as
the guest of honor. It is a war between “truth” and “lies”, between
“reality” and “deception.”

This movie was prolific to
me. The characters are in an ongoing war. They cohesively work
together to fight a war against machines. They are familiar with
each others’ strengths, weaknesses and capabilities. There is a
leader, a main ship, and a common goal; to end the war. The movie
is centered around the main character “NEO.” A regular guy with a 9
to 5, who does a lot of illegal things with his computer. On the
outside, he doesn’t look out of the ordinary. His life doesn’t
resemble the path of one destined to save countless lives. But as
the movie reveals, there’s much more to him than meets the
eye.

Morpheus
. What tenacity it takes to
lead a group of people in an ongoing war, upon a boring ship, with
nasty food, and yet keep everyone motivated. His main job was to
locate NEO. To find the one who could ultimately end the war.
Morpheus’ leadership in the movie was effective and consistent. He
communicated with NEO and convinced him to take a chance on
destiny. He saw more in NEO than the other team members; and more
than NEO saw in himself. Morpheus’ attitude was not one of jealousy
or envy; al
though he could see this “new
convert” was much more gifted than himself.
As the training progressed, he could see NEO’S potential went
beyond what he had imagined.
He never gave
one thought to destroying, crippling, manipulating, or controlling
him.
His mind was focused on the ultimate
goal; not people’s opinion, or his personal desires. Quite the
opposite. He worked overtime challenging NEO. Fighting him to see
how much he had learned. Feeding him knowledge, teaching him all
that he had learned through the years, and risking his own life to
save him when necessary. Although he was not as gifted as NEO, it
didn’t diminish his role as leader. He understood that, so did the
team, and so did NEO. They all depended on him just as much as they
did in the beginning. (Where would our society be if we could find
committed, integral parents and leadership for more of our
youth?)