Authors: Juliana Stone
Damn. Had he just said that out loud? Shocked to realize just how much the night had meant, Teague took a moment to get his own shit together.
“Look I don’t know much, but I do know that last night wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about. It wasn’t casual or meaningless. And considering that we’re both kind of flying blind here, maybe we should just leave it at that and see where the day takes us.”
The kids burst into the cottage and ran past them, Morgan shouting, ‘Tigger’ as Harry giggled behind her.
“So we’re good?” Teague asked again, watching her carefully. When was the last time this had mattered so much?
After a few moments, she smiled—it was a hesitant, slow sort of thing—but it was enough. “We’re good,” she said softly.
“Okay,” he replied with a grin, loving the way she blushed when he winked. “I’ve got to put fuel in the boat and then we’re good to go.”
The four of them spent the day on the lake, cruising the sights, tubing and fishing. It was relaxing and busy and by the time they docked in a town at the northern end of Lake Muskoka called Bala, the four of them had a hunger going on that would make a giant proud.
They decided to have dinner at a place called The Brig and Teague agreed to meet Sabrina and the kids once he secured the boat. It was starting to sprinkle raindrops and the wind had definitely picked up.
His cell phone buzzed at least five times while he was locking up and irritated, he withdrew the damn thing from his pocket. He headed up the dock and glanced at his phone. Three missed calls. Two from Richard Bowen, and one from his brother Jack.
He ignored Richard and returned his brother’s call only to get Jack’s voicemail. Teague left a brief message and pocketed his cell just as he entered The Brig. The place was hopping and he had to wait for the hostess to locate Sabrina and the kids. The fact that she assumed Sabrina was his wife and the twins were his children didn’t bother him at all. In fact when he spied the three of them sitting at their table, he thought that any man would be proud to call them family.
Should he be concerned with the direction his thoughts were going? That was anyone’s guess, but for now, as he’d told Sabrina, he was just going with it. Today had been too damn good to get caught up in all that background noise.
They ordered stone-baked pizza, nachos and cheese, and just as dessert was served, the sky—now trouble-gray as his father called it—opened up and one hell of a downpour erupted. Lightening flashed and ominous thunder broke overhead.
Harry and Morgan were wide eyed as they gazed out over the once calm lake. No longer serene, the water was rough and by the looks of it, the storm wasn’t letting up anytime soon.
Teague slid his hand over Sabrina’s. She was as white as a ghost. “You all right?”
“Right as rain,” she said slowly, her eyes on the water.
“Hey.” His voice was gentle and she dragged her gaze from the water. “We’ll sleep in the boat. It’s protected here in the harbor. We can go home in the morning. Or if that doesn’t work, I’ll look into renting a vehicle to get us home.”
“Sleep on the boat?” Harry piped in, slapping the table. “Did you hear that Morgan?”
“I want to sleep on the boat too!” Morgan’s big blue eyes flashed. “We could pretend it’s like that boat from the movie.”
“What boat is that?” Teague asked.
“
Titanic,
”
they shouted together.
Sabrina sat back in her seat. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” Harry asked.
“Because the
Titanic
sank.”
“Our boat won’t sink, Mommy,” Morgan said. “We have the best captain in the whole world. Tigger won’t let that happen.”
Teague flashed a grin at Sabrina. “Can’t argue with that logic. I gotta agree with the kids.”
“Is that so,” Sabrina replied, a little more relaxed than a few minutes ago. “Are you telling me that your boat is unsinkable?”
He leaned forward. “I’m telling you that I’m the best captain in the whole world and I’d never let anything happen to you.”
She opened her mouth but didn’t say a word. Instead she blew out a small breath and looked down at his large hand overtop hers. After a few moments she offered up a small, hesitant smile. “Okay, Captain, our lives are in your hands.”
It was a simple sentence. Almost teasing in its delivery. But Teague liked the words and how they made him feel. It was sobering because after all the crap he’d seen over the years and then the shit storm that had been Syria, he swore he’d never be responsible for another human being again.
Yet here he was, doing just that. Wanting to protect this young mother and her children. Jesus. H. Christ. What the hell was happening to him?
As they dashed out into the rain, heading to his boat for shelter, he realized that he was about as far away from his past as he could get. And maybe that was a good thing.
At least he hoped it was.
If Sabrina thought sleeping on a boat with Teague only a few feet away and not being able to touch him was hard, she apparently didn’t know what hard was. Because sleeping in a cottage when he was in another one, several hundred feet away was even harder.
She thought about him more than she cared to admit, and she fantasized about him even more. As if that wasn’t enough, her kids were all over him whenever they could be. He’d taken Harry out fishing one day and then the two of them had cleaned the pike and cooked it up for dinner. He’d also helped Morgan build the biggest sand castle the world had ever seen (according to her daughter) and then he’d let Morgan serve him tea on the beach.
Tea on the beach
.
Just this morning he’d insisted that he finish Sabrina’s swimming lesson (to the delight of the twins) and she’d lost all ability to think straight with his hands on her. Especially with the inappropriate touching going on underneath the water.
When Teague smiled at Sabrina, her stomach dipped and her heart turned over. And though it took her a bit, probably because she was in denial, she soon realized that it was too much.
All of this was too much.
What the hell was she doing? She had kids to think about.
The thought hit her like a sledgehammer and she’d taken a step back, withdrawing from the beach and herding her children up to the cottage. When Teague asked her about dinner, she said she had plans. When he pressed her, she flat out told him she needed some time to herself. He’d gotten quiet and without another word, he’d left her alone.
She was scared and confused and…
“Keep that up and you’ll have permanent frown lines.”
Sabrina jerked her head to the side and attempted a smile, but what was the point? Allie could read her like a book. It was early evening, the sun was just starting to set and Sabrina had brought the kids into town to watch Caleb play baseball. It was the only excuse she had to be away from the cottage. Away from Teague.
“I think I made a huge mistake,” Sabrina admitted.
Allie’s eyes widened and she reached for her bag of popcorn. “Does this mistake have a name?” She paused. “Never mind. That was a stupid question. What happened?”
“Do you even have to ask?”
Allie nearly choked on her popcorn and she sputtered. “You have to tell me everything and I mean everything.”
“I slept with him.”
“And?”
“Only once.”
“And?”
“It can’t happen again.”
“Why not?”
“Because it can’t.”
“You’re going to have to be much more specific than that if you want my opinion. Was the sex bad?”
“What? No. It was hot and so good, but…” She blushed thinking about the things she’d let him do to her. “It’s just…it’s not right.”
Allie was silent for a few moments, munching on her popcorn. “Do you feel guilty because you’re having sex with someone other than Brent? Like you’ve betrayed him in some way?”
Sabrina shook her head slowly, thinking about Allie’s question. “No,” she whispered. “I feel a lot of things but I don’t feel guilty because we had sex. I don’t even feel guilty that it was amazing sex. I do feel that somehow I lost a piece of Brent by giving myself to another man, if that makes sense.”
Allie’s eyes softened. “Totally makes sense, but Hon, you’ve got to realize that you’ll always carry a piece of Brent with you. He’s in your children and he’s still in your heart and soul. But the thing is, your heart has room for someone else. That’s the cool thing about life. There’s always room for more love.”
“Oh God, we’re so not there,” Sabrina said in a rush.
Allie’s eyes narrowed a bit and she offered Sabrina the popcorn bag. “Is that the problem? You want more from Teague than a summer fling?”
“My problem is that it doesn’t really matter what I want, does it? I have two kids to think about. They’ve already lost so much. I can’t let them get attached to a man who has no intention of sticking around, especially a man who doesn’t even live in this country. Hell…” She threw her hands up into the air. “I don’t know when he’s leaving. I don’t know where he lives. Florida maybe? New York? Boston? I have no idea what his plans are. And I sure as hell don’t know what he thinks about our situation.”
“Then ask him.”
Sabrina’s mouth dropped open but no words came out.
“Ask him,” Allie repeated with a grin. “You guys need to have the fuck-buddy conversation.”
An elderly woman a few rows down glanced over her shoulder and cleared her throat.
“The what?” Sabrina whispered hoarsely.
Allie waved at the older lady and leaned closer to Sabrina. “The fuck-buddy conversation. You need to know what his intentions are and you need to figure out what it is that you want from him. If you want some sort of relationship, he’s either in or out and if Teague’s not into the R-word, then cut him off at the knees. Like right now. See ya later. Because that will not be good for you or the kids.” Allie crumpled the now empty bag.
“But if each of you just want to explore the whole sex thing and there sure as hell isn’t anything wrong with that, then do it but keep it on the down low. Stop doing family friendly things together and just screw like crazy once the kids are in bed.”
“Jesus, Allie. You make it sound so…so…”
“Dirty?” she replied with a wide grin. “I hope so. Because backseat loving should be down and dirty.” She winked. “And really, really, hot.”
Sabrina picked at the edge of her dress. “What if my problem is the fact that I have no idea what I want? Or maybe…” She bit her bottom lip and sighed.
“Maybe?” Allie prodded.
“Maybe I’m afraid to ask Teague where exactly his head is at, because maybe I’m afraid his head isn’t anywhere near where mine is.”
“Well, my darling, there’s only one way to find out. You need to talk about this. Communication is always the best option when there are doubts.”
Sabrina poked her friend. “You know you’d give Doctor Phil a run for his money.”
She winked. “It’s the pregnancy hormones. They make women smarter than they already are.” She giggled. “Or maybe dumber. Who knows!”
Allie jumped up just then and shouted. “Caleb! Glove on the ground for those balls!”
When she sat back down, she cocked her head to the side. “Why don’t you go home now and have your fuck-buddy conversation. I’ll take the kids back to my house for ice cream and a movie. If you want them to come home tonight Paul will bring them out. But if I don’t hear from you by eleven then I’m going to assume the conversation is going well and I’ll keep them overnight.”
“No,” Sabrina shook her head a little horrified at the thought. “No I can’t do that. Just leave my kids with you to go and…and…”
“Have a potentially life changing conversation? Maybe a hot little make-out session?” Allie snorted. “Go.
Now.
I’ve got your kids covered and you guys will have some privacy. Okay?”
Undecided, Sabrina chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes on the twins where they sat with Allie’s husband watching their buddy play.
“Sabrina, don’t push him away without having that conversation. You don’t want him to be the one who got away. Not if he’s meant to be the one to stay. The one to heal your heart.”
Sabrina shrugged. “Am I crazy? We’ve known each other for less than a month.”
“So,” Allie reached into her purse to grab a bag of Jolly Ranchers. “You’re not a teenager and neither is he. I’m pretty sure you’ve both been around the block a few times, at least enough to know what it is you want or don’t want.” She shoved a handful of watermelon Jolly Ranchers into her mouth. “So have that fuck-buddy conversation and figure it out.”
“You just like saying that word.” Sabrina stood up.
“What word?”
“The F-B word.”
Allie giggled. “I know. There’s something insanely naughty about a pregnant woman saying fuck buddy.”
The older woman turned around again and this time her eyebrows were arched at an imperious slant and her mouth was pursed in disapproval.
“I’d better go before you get the both of us kicked out of this game.” Sabrina kissed her friend on the cheek. “Thank you.”
Allie grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “You deserve to be happy, Sabrina. That’s it. All of it. Happy. He could be that guy. You just need to find out if he is and figure your shit out.”
Sabrina’s kids didn’t bat an eye when she told them they’d be going home with Caleb’s parents. In fact, she barely got a kiss out of them. She said goodbye to Paul and, nervous as hell, pulled out of the parking lot and headed home. By the time she got to the cottage, she was strung so tight her shoulders ached, and her stomach was twisted into all kinds of knots.
As it was, it turned out that her trip hope had been for nothing.
Sabrina killed the motor and glanced over to the Simon cottage, feeling let down and relieved all at once. The place was in darkness and Teague’s truck was gone.
Teague wheeled in to The Rocking Saddle around eight and he’d been drinking steadily since then. He glanced at his watch, squinting a bit because he was either tired or drunk—probably both—and realized it was nearly midnight.