Taste of Reality (6 page)

“Then we’re going to have a problem, because I do know what my rights are. And if they force me to, I’ll do everything in my power to exercise them legally.”

“Good for you, because I have a strange feeling that you’re going to have to.”

“I hear what you’re saying, and even though I know you don’t think Lyle and Jim are on the up-and-up, I still have to stay hopeful. I mean, it’s not that I’m trying to dismiss what you’ve been telling me, but if I don’t stay open to all possibilities, I’m going to worry myself crazy.”

“I understand, but I just want you to be aware of how they tend to operate, Anise. I feel bad about you having to deal with this crap all over again, but you’ve got to be prepared for what we both know might happen with this.”

“Yeah, but I guess I’d like to know who they could possibly give it to besides me. Because I know they wouldn’t have the audacity to hire someone outside the company.”

“Maybe not, but I heard from Jim’s secretary that Kelli Jacobson is one of the people who applied for it.”

“What!” I said, louder than I should have. The couple sitting at the next table glanced over at me, and I felt somewhat embarrassed.

“Yep. She did. And another gal over in public relations submitted a bidding form yesterday.”

“How can they even consider Kelli when she started out as an HR assistant doing strictly clerical work? And even though she’s an HR specialist for corporate benefits, she’s only been doing that for one year.”

“I know, but if I had to guess, I’d say the job is as good as hers if she wants it.”

“But how? I know she’s been with the company for four years, but two of those years were clerical. And even though she spent her third year working as an HR coordinator, she worked more closely with training and special events than she did anything else.”

Lorna raised her eyebrows and said, “But do you really think any of that is going to mean a damn thing when it comes to Jim and Lyle’s final decision? They’ll find a way to justify giving it to her no matter what. I’ve seen them do it too many other times, and you saw it firsthand when they gave that job to Jason over you.”

“But why in the world would they do that? And how can they just keep getting away with it?”

“They won’t after this. Not after you sue their bigoted asses.”

I took a sip of ice water from the long-stemmed crystal goblet and sat it back down on the table. I was outraged. I knew both Jim and Lyle had made it pretty clear that they would have to promote the most qualified candidate, but deep down I wanted to believe that person was me. It had to be if we were talking about educational background and previous work experience. But hearing Lorna tell me that Kelli Jacobson was in the running placed me just a bit on edge.

“And wait a minute,” I said. “What college or university did she graduate from?”

“Well, I know she has a one-year secretarial certificate from Mitchell Community College, but I think that’s it.”

I laughed like a confused madwoman. But nothing was the slightest bit funny.

“I know,” Lorna continued. “But the thing with Kelli is that she’s kissed mega ass since the first day she started working at Reed
Meyers. She agrees with any and every thing Jim has to say, and I’ve seen her do it with Elizabeth, too. Hell, Elizabeth is the person that you and she both report to, but you’d swear she reports directly to Jim with as much time as she spends smiling in his face.”

“You think they’re messing around?”

“Who’s to say, but Kelli is barely one cubic centimeter from being poor white trash, so I really don’t think so.”

I smiled because it always amazed me when I heard Lorna and some of my other white friends label someone as poor white trash, and I was equally amazed when we as black people called certain African-Americans the word nigger. The latter was even more interesting, because we’d fought for more than a century trying to prevent all other nationalities from calling us that. But with everything I could think of, there were always unwritten laws and tiny exceptions to every rule.

“I still don’t see how they could just give it to her, because it says right on the job posting that nondegreed applicants must have five years of solid HR experience. And I don’t see where two years of clerical work can be counted as solid anything when we’re talking about a managerial position. Plus, she’s only been with the company four years.”

Lorna reached across the pure white linen tablecloth and covered my hand with her own. “Anise? Honey? We could go on and on about this for the rest of the evening, but it’s not going to change anything. I’m not in a position to make any waves, but what I do know is that you have to start planning your recourse. You can’t dwell on Kelli Jacobson or that job. You’ve got to figure out a way to bypass the emotional aspects of this and start speaking with an attorney.”

“I just can’t do that. Not yet, anyway, because I really feel like I have to give them the benefit of the doubt until they make their decision. And it’s not like I’m overly anxious to go to court anyhow. As a matter of fact, I’ve never had to go to court for anything except a traffic ticket,” I said, sighing with much grief.

The waiter refilled our water glasses and removed our almost empty salad plates.

“More rolls?” he asked in a deep voice that reminded me of a guy I went to college with.

“No, not for me,” I answered.

“I’m fine as well,” Lorna added.

“Just let me know if you need anything, and your dinners will be out shortly.”

“Thank you,” Lorna told him with a flirtatious look on her face.

He smiled and walked away.

“Wouldn’t you like to get wild on a Saturday night with him?” she asked me, laughing.

“Please. I guess he looks good enough, but I’m a married woman, remember?”

“Too bad for you. Because I’d love to teach him a few things or two.”

We both cracked up.

“He looks like he just stopped nursing from his mother, if you ask me,” I teased.

“Yeah, and that’s why it would be so easy to train him. You can make them do all the right things in all the right places when they haven’t been out in the world for too long.”

“Train them to your own liking, huh?” I said, encouraging her.

“That’s right.”

“You’re a mess,” I said, but I wondered how Lorna could be so outgoing and so open when it came to desiring certain men—well, actually a lot of them—but seemed terrified when she’d told me about her run-in with Jim. I understood how she might have been afraid when the incident actually occurred, but I just couldn’t see her keeping quiet about it. But maybe I really didn’t understand as well as I thought I did and had no right judging her, since I’d never been sexually harassed myself.

We finished our meals and discussed everything from her
fourteen-year-old daughter to the fact that she really hadn’t been happy for a good number of years. She talked about wanting to find a man who loved her and her daughter and one who would be committed for life. She’d dated a ton of no-goods, and was starting to believe that there wasn’t much else to choose from. I insisted there was, and tried to make her realize that timing had a lot to do with everything. Some people were happier early in their lives and miserable later, while others were just the opposite. But regardless, there were going to be some bad times that we all had to deal with whether we wanted to or not.

When the waiter left the check, I looked at the total and slid fifty dollars inside the leather folder. Then we walked out to our vehicles, said our good-byes and drove away from the parking lot.

I wondered if David had arrived home yet, but my question was quickly answered when I opened the garage and saw that his Escalade was nowhere in sight. Working late was part of his normal schedule, and it wasn’t like he hadn’t called to inform me, but I was still hoping he’d be home somewhat earlier tonight. It was only after eight-thirty, and since there were times when he didn’t arrive home until after ten o’clock, I knew I had to be patient.

I disarmed the security system, closed the door behind me and went down the hallway to our bedroom. I sighed when I realized I’d forgotten to grab the mail from the mailbox, and dreaded walking down the long driveway to get it. Still, I removed my suit, threw on a pair of lounging pants with a matching shirt and prepared to go retrieve it. But first, I lit five peach-scented candles, three across the dresser and one on each nightstand. When I finished, I removed all eight decorative pillows from our bed and neatly pulled back the comforter. I knew David would be tired after working so many hours and from driving home, so I decided the least I could do was create a relaxed atmosphere for him. We’d shared such a peaceful evening the night before, and now I wanted to continue in that mode indefinitely.

When I remembered the mail again, I opened the door and stepped onto the front porch, but halted when I heard David turning off his ignition inside the garage. I hadn’t even heard the garage door opening while I was inside, but that wasn’t unusual, since the garage and our bedroom were on completely different sides of the house. I wanted to start the evening off right with him, so I decided to go offer my wifely greeting before he came into the house.

But as I moved closer, with no shoes on, I could hear him talking. I hadn’t heard him slam any doors shut, so I assumed he was still sitting inside the truck with his windows down, because the closer I walked toward him, the more audible his conversation became.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard him say, “I wish I could have stayed longer too, because you know I really enjoy being with you. We understand each other, and I appreciate that.” Then he paused for a minute, I assumed waiting for the other party to speak, but for me, time stopped completely. I didn’t know if it was that I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, or if what I was hearing was unbelievable. I really couldn’t decide one way or the other, and while I contemplated back and forth, he spoke again.

“Yeah, she’s here, but she doesn’t know I’m home yet. And I really hate having to face her, because I don’t want this reconciliation she’s all of a sudden pushing for. I tried pretending like I did, but there’s no way I can keep doing that.”

He paused again.

I stood there stifled, unable to move an inch.

“I really want to,” he continued. “Believe me, I do. But you know I can’t just walk out on her that easily. Things like this take time when there’s so much property involved. And it’s like I told you tonight, it would be much better for me if she leaves, or if she is the one who files for a divorce. But now, she’s making things harder by wanting us to work things out. And in all honesty, I don’t know what’s come over her.”

“You might as well tell your
bitch
that she can forget about me leaving or filing for a divorce,” I said, walking inside the garage where he was sitting.

He flinched sharply when he turned and saw me, and it was obvious that he didn’t know whom to speak to next. Me? Or the whore he was having an affair with.

“Damn,” he said. “I’ve gotta go, okay?”

“Oh, so now you need some bitch’s permission to hang up your own goddamn phone?” I yelled as loud as I could.

“Anise, please.”

“Please my ass, David. You were stupid enough to get caught, so why don’t you deal with this like a man?”

He unlatched his door and tried to open it.

But I shoved it back closed.

“Why are you being so childish?” he asked in frustration.

“Childish? You’re the one sneaking around like a child with some other woman.”

He sighed deeply. “Are you going to let me out or not?” he asked.

“Yeah, you can get out all right. And while you’re at it, you can pack every goddamn thing you own and move your ass out of this house altogether,” I screamed, and walked out to the street to pull out the mail. It seemed silly, but that was the real reason I’d come outside in the first place.

When I arrived back inside, I closed the front door, stormed into the bedroom, dropped the mail inside the armoire and started in on him again.

“So how long has this shit been going on, David?”

“Long enough,” he answered boldly.

“Oh, really now? And when exactly were you planning to tell me about it?”

“When it was necessary, I guess.”

I laughed like I was deranged. “When it was
necessary
? You are so damn full of it, you know that?”

“Look, all I can say is that I’m sorry. But before you continue on this rampage, I want you to know right now that I love her, and that I’m not about to stop seeing her.”

My body went numb.

I wanted to know the identity of this person who had snatched my husband from me without my knowing it. I wanted to know why he’d made love to me when he knew he wanted someone else.

“Who is she, David?”

I waited for him to say something, anything. But all he did was stare back and forth between me and the suit he was hanging up.

At that moment, I wished I had never laid eyes on him a day in my life. I knew our marriage had been falling apart, but I didn’t think David would actually go this far. I had my faults, some that really needed to be worked on, but nothing should have been so terrible that he sought comfort in someone else’s bed. Especially since he’d just made love to me the night before. I was so hurt over what I’d just learned, but in a sense, I had been aware all along of those unusually long business trips and late-night meetings. Maybe I had believed what I wanted and hadn’t taken the time or energy to notice what any intelligent wife should have known by instinct.

He slipped on his pajama bottoms and strutted toward the bed. I was disturbed by the thought of another woman holding him. Consoling him. Making love to him. The fact that he was no longer exclusively mine, suddenly made me ill.

I didn’t know if my pain was a result of him messing around or the fact that he’d gotten away with it for so long without me knowing. I did love David, but the truth is, I really hadn’t liked him as a person for quite some time. Maybe I was only hurt because no human being ever wanted to be replaced under any circumstances. But I was still hurt just the same.