Taste of Reality (2 page)

“My priorities are the same as they were when you first asked me to marry you. And what about your own work schedule? You’re hardly ever here, and when you are you’re always planning the next business trip.”

“Well in case you hadn’t noticed, Anise, I’m a very well-paid executive. And that means I don’t have the luxury of blowing off my responsibilities the way some people do. My job requires much more than just sitting behind some desk making a few phone calls.”

“So exactly what are you trying to say?” I asked.

“That given the menial jobs you’ve always had, I don’t expect you to understand what it takes to walk in my shoes.”

“I don’t believe you, David. I can’t believe you’ve become so vain that you don’t even care what you say to your own wife.”

I gazed at him for a split second and then turned away because the last thing I wanted was for him to see my eyes watering. I couldn’t fathom why he was diminishing me the way he was. I knew things weren’t that great between us, but this cruel, insensitive criticism he was dishing was totally uncalled for.

“Oh, so now you don’t have anything to say?” he asked.

“No, I don’t. And as a matter of fact, I’m finished with this conversation altogether.”

“Well, I’m
not
finished. And if you don’t do something about rearranging your priorities real soon, we’re both going to be sorry.”

“Is that some kind of a threat?” I asked.

“No, because I don’t make threats. At forty years old, I don’t have to. But more importantly, at thirty-six, you need to think about having a baby before you’re too old.”

What he didn’t know was that I wasn’t planning on having any children at all. I’d thought about it when we were first married and was actually looking forward to it, but the one thing I’d learned
over the years was that it was illogical to bring a baby into an unstable situation. We weren’t even getting along with each other, so how on earth were we going to be good parents to an innocent newborn baby?

“If you think I’m going to give up my career and do nothing except have a houseful of babies, I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Oh, so it’s like that?”

“Unfortunately, it is,” I said, standing my ground.

“Then you won’t ever hear me bring it up again.”

David walked out of the bedroom, and while I felt like I’d won this latest quarrel of ours by unanimous decision, I didn’t feel much like a heavyweight champion. He was too calm, and I could tell that I’d lost just a little more of him and part of the love he once had for me. Which hurt terribly, because there was a time when we both loved each other hard—when we both thought that life wasn’t quite worth living if we couldn’t be together. That feeling lasted five long years, but these last twelve months had played another tune, one that we were no longer able to create beautiful lyrics to. We both kept trying, but the rhythm just wasn’t the same as it once was.

Maybe we were never meant to be together from the beginning. But I didn’t want to believe that theory, because I did know how love felt. I could still remember the first day we met. We were at a pool party that was being given by some mutual friends of ours, Sam and Theresa, over in Olympia Fields, a predominantly black, upper-echelon south suburb of Chicago. I’d met Theresa at a four-day human resources convention in Oak Brook, and we’d continued to stay in touch ever since. David knew Sam because Sam had been one of his pharmaceutical clients when David was a sales manager. Theresa had always tried to play matchmaker for me since the time we met and couldn’t wait to introduce David as soon as he’d arrived at the party. I knew then that I was strongly attracted to him, and it was pretty obvious that he felt the same way about me. It wasn’t love at first sight, but we clicked from the very first
moment we laid eyes on each other. We spent most of the evening together and exchanged
phone numbers before leaving. He called me daily, and I was always smiling from ear to ear whenever I heard his voice. His work schedule and the fact that he lived almost ninety minutes away kept us from seeing each other during the week, but it didn’t take long for his visits on Saturdays and Sundays to evolve into extended overnight stays. He began arriving on Friday evenings and never left my condo before daylight on Monday mornings.

We dated all of six months before he surprised me with a two-carat diamond solitaire engagement ring. I immediately told him yes, that I would marry him, and we took lifelong vows the very next year. He’d really wanted to keep his residence in the Chicago area, though, not just because he worked there but because he loved the suburb he lived in. I would have liked being closer to Chicago as well, but I just couldn’t bring myself to leave my mother or most of my relatives who lived in Mitchell, a city with barely 150,000 residents. We’d always been such a close family, and the thought of living in a different city from the rest of them made me uncomfortable. Had I made the move, I knew I would have been extremely unhappy, so David, against very strong wishes, agreed on moving here with me and had been commuting ever since. He loved me that much, and I had the utmost respect for his giving up the lifestyle he was so accustomed to living. Mitchell was a wonderful place to reside and a great place
to raise children, but it wasn’t Chicago. There was no Magnificent Mile, no large-production plays, no concerts with A-list entertainers, and no exquisite art galleries. But again, it was a wholesome, quiet place to live, and I was happy to be here. David, on the other hand, wasn’t, and now I was pretty sure that this was part of the reason he was so distant and almost preferred going on business trips as opposed to being at home with me. Our lifestyle was, well, boring by his definition, but I, on the other hand, perceived it as comfortable living. However, I was born and raised here, and I learned a long time ago that we all get used to what we get used to.

Sometimes love just isn’t enough. Sometimes so much more is needed, and I couldn’t help wondering how long it was going to be before David flashed a news broadcast my heart wouldn’t be able to handle. I guess I did still love him, but there were so many days when I honestly didn’t like him at all. Not to mention that he obviously felt the same way about me.

I honestly didn’t know what it was we needed to do to make things right again. But if it had anything to do with me swallowing my pride and forgetting about work altogether, that wasn’t an option.

I just couldn’t see myself doing that.

Not for him.

Not for any one person I could think of.

I
LEANED BACK
in my chair and read the job announcement for the third time. I wasn’t sure if I was expecting to read something different in comparison to what I’d read the first two times or not, but more than anything, I guess I was still debating whether I should even bother applying again. The fact was, I really did want a career in human resources, so I didn’t see how I could possibly pass up this opportunity. Especially since the city of Mitchell only had five decent-sized, industrial corporations to begin with and opportunities like this only presented themselves on rare occasions. Actually, my company, Reed Meyers, a screw manufacturer, was the largest.

I skimmed the posting one last time and finally found the courage to go meet with Jim, vice president of human resources. I walked over to his office and knocked on his door, even though it was already open. He was sitting at his shiny mahogany desk, jotting down some notes inside what looked like an employee’s folder.

“Hi, Anise, what can I do for you?”

He had a pleasant smile on his face.

“Can I speak to you for a minute?”

“Sure, come in and have a seat.”

I closed his door before sitting down.

“Whoa,” he said. “A closed-door meeting? This must be pretty serious.”

“Somewhat,” I said, wondering where and how I should begin.

“Everything is okay with work, isn’t it?”

“Yes, everything is fine. But I do want to talk to you about the HR recruiting manager position that you’re trying to fill.”

Jim leaned back in his chair nonchalantly, staring at me and waiting to hear me continue.

“I know I applied for it six months ago, and now that Jason has decided to leave so quickly, I’d like to apply for it again.”

“Well, I guess my only concern or question is whether this position is really the one you should be applying for. You seem to work so well with the people in the shop, and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that both your parents worked in factories. You really do know how to relate to these people. They love you, Anise, and I would hate to see you leave your current position in order to take one that may not be as rewarding.”

I wanted to choke over what he’d just said. What did he mean, I knew how to relate to
these
people? And what in heaven’s name did my parents’ occupations have to do with my career in HR?

“The shop employees are wonderful, and I love working with them, but I came to Reed Meyers to work with all people. You know that I stressed my interest in recruiting the last time this position was open, so I’ve had more than enough time to think about my goals. Working with employee benefits is fine, but I’d also love working with potential employees who are interested in joining our company.”

“Well, I still think you should be sure about what you want to do before submitting the official application. Because who knows, maybe Elizabeth’s job will open up at some point, and you’d be interested in managing the benefits area instead. Or I can tell you
right now that Frank Colletti is being groomed for a position in operations. He’ll be the youngest VP the company has had in years, so while this information is strictly confidential, I wanted to share it with you so you know that his position will probably open up sometime in the near future.”

What was he talking about? Hadn’t he heard me say that I was interested in
this
position and not one that
might
become available? I couldn’t believe he was still trying to persuade me to move in another direction. Then there was this comment about Frank Colletti being groomed. Frank was a gorgeous Italian, whom I liked a lot and had great respect for, but I didn’t see how they could secretly decide that he deserved a top-management position. Especially since he worked in training. Yes, he was the director of training, but to my knowledge hadn’t worked in any other areas of the company and didn’t have a graduate degree. Not that he shouldn’t be groomed for a better position, but why weren’t they grooming other managers and directors inside the company along with him? Namely women. But it was my guess that they didn’t think women belonged in VP positions either.

“I appreciate your suggestions about both the other departments, but what I really want is to apply for the recruiting position. So what I’ll do is complete the internal application form and place it in your mail bin. Or better yet, I’ll give it to your secretary,” I said, letting him know that my decision was firm.

“It’s your call, but I have to tell you that we’re already considering two other employees for this promotion, and that we’ll have no choice but to choose the best-qualified candidate when it’s all said and done.”

I stood up. “You know, Jim, that’s all I’m hoping for.”

He stared at me in silence as I walked out of his office.

Shortly afterward, Lorna caught up with me and followed me into my own office. She was the only true friend I had here at the company. My best friend Monica was my best friend in the whole world, but Lorna took close seconds.

“So what did that asshole Jim have to say,” she asked, shutting my door and pushing her white blond hair away from her face. I’d told her first thing this morning that I was going to make my interest in the promotion known to Jim before lunchtime.

“He acted as much like a jerk as he always does, and he made it very clear that he doesn’t think I should apply for the position,” I said with disappointment, and while I hated admitting it, I felt like sobbing. My mom raised me to be a strong, confident woman, but this entire scenario was starting to wear on me emotionally. I didn’t want anything that I didn’t deserve, but what I did want was to be treated fairly. What I wanted was for Jim and Lyle to look past my color and gender, if that was the problem, so they could see me for the person I truly was. So they could see that I really was qualified to carry out the responsibilities of a manager in the highest possible capacity.

“Anise, I hope you’re not going to let them get away with passing you over again. Enough is enough, and if they don’t promote you, then they won’t leave you with any other choice except to file a discrimination complaint with EEOC and a private attorney if you have to.”

“I know, but I’m really hoping that I won’t have to do that.”

“You may not have a choice. And if you ask me, Jim, Lyle and the rest of their white-collar KKK buddies need to be brought to their knees.”

I wasn’t sure why Lorna was so upset, because even though she’d been vocal in the past about the way women and minorities were treated, she seemed completely outraged today.

“If I have to, I will, but I’m not going to consider any legal proceedings until after this selection process is over with,” I agreed, trying to convince myself that everything was going to work out and that maybe I was worrying about nothing. “Oh, and before I forget, Jim insinuated that Frank might be getting promoted, so since you’re the top training specialist, you’d be next in line for his job when he leaves it.”

Lorna folded her arms and looked at me in silence. Something wasn’t quite right, but I wasn’t sure what was wrong with her. Especially since the possibility of being promoted should have been fabulous news to her.

“Anise, I’ve never told anyone what I’m about to tell you, but if what happened to me will make you go forward with filing a lawsuit, then it will be worth it for all of us.”

“What? What are you talking about?” She’d piqued my curiosity.

“When I first came to Reed Meyers four years ago, Jim had just been transferred here from the Raleigh plant, but his wife stayed behind until their children finished the school year. Then, when she’d finally sold their home, she joined him five months after he’d gotten here.”