Taste of Reality (21 page)

“There’s no doubt about it. Kelli is clearly not qualified for the position based on the requirements they posted, and that means they’ve totally violated my rights. Let alone the fact that they’ve disregarded both state and federal equal employment opportunity laws.”

“I still don’t want to believe they could be so blatant.”

“Well, believe it. And if you want to know the truth, I’ve had it with these racist people here at Reed Meyers
and
this situation with David.”

“Have you heard from him?”

“Unfortunately I have. First he wanted to know if I was planning to see other people, and when I wouldn’t answer him, he told me that he was filing for a divorce.”

“Oh no,” she said. “I know things haven’t been good, but I still hate hearing that.”

“Don’t. It was bound to happen with the way things have been going, and I think it’s better for both of us. The quicker we get this over with, the quicker we can both move on with our lives without each other.”

“You’re so calm about this. I would be hysterical, the same way I was when Xavier and I split up.”

“I think it’s different when your marriage has experienced a slow death. We’ve basically just been sleeping in the same bed, but you know that this marriage has been over for a very long time.”

“I still hate hearing this.”

“I’ll be fine, Monica. I know you’re worried about me being alone, but I’ll get through this the same way I’ve gotten through every other problem in my life. And with all that I’m going through here at work, I’ve decided that I’m not going to spend any time worrying about David, too. I can’t deal with both, and right now this Reed Meyers thing has to be my priority.”

“What are you planning on doing?”

“I’m still thinking everything through. I thought about it a lot last night, and I’ve got some ideas that I think will bring everything they’ve done out in the open.”

“Just be careful.”

“You know I always am.”

“Yeah, but just be extra careful with this, because no white executive is going to roll over and play dead after some black woman goes out of her way to expose him.”

“I don’t expect any of them to play dead, I just want them to stop breaking the law and give me what I deserve.”

“I understand what you’re saying, but like I said, Anise, be careful.”

“You’re worrying for nothing,” I said.

“Maybe I am, so let’s change the subject. What are you doing after work?”

Why did she have to ask me that? Because there was no way I could tell her the truth about where I was going and who I was going with. I didn’t want to lie, but how was I going tell her that I was having dinner with another man, and that this other man was white? She was so dead set against this kind of relationship, so it was better to keep my dinner date private.

“Not much,” I said. I didn’t sleep too well the last couple of nights, so I’ll probably get to bed early.”

“Well, I’ll give you a call at work tomorrow then.”

“I’ll be here.”

Grand Central Station had absolutely nothing on me and all the phone calls I’d received this afternoon. First there were the calls from the benefits secretary, who was still pulling her hair out trying to handle my old responsibilities, and now some of Kelli’s. Then I’d handled two additional job requisitions for another foreman and another call from the temp agency who filled our temporary job openings.

I stood so I could take a few items that needed typing out to Karla, but Jim entered my office before I made it to the doorway.

“So how’s everything going?” he asked.

I wondered if I would actually be arrested if I caused him bodily harm.

“Okay” was all I could force between my lips.

“I understand you weren’t feeling too well yesterday?”

“No, I wasn’t. But I’m better now.”

I could feel my heart racing like a roller coaster.

“So are things going okay with Karla, Jamie and Mary?” he asked.

“I couldn’t ask for better employees. Each of them is a very hard worker, and they’ve helped make my transition to this area a whole lot easier than it could have been.”

“Glad to hear it,” he said, folding his arms. “Well, I just wanted to stop by to see if you needed anything or had any questions.”

What I needed was for him to drop dead. But I regretted thinking in such a harsh manner.

“So far I don’t have any major questions. I have a couple of things I may need to ask you about early next week, but nothing crucial.”

“Well, my door is always open, and I hope you will come talk to me whenever you need to,” he said.

I nodded in agreement, but I wanted him out of my office.

“I’m glad we were finally able to get you into management, because you really do deserve it,” he said. “Oh, and Lyle wanted me to tell you that he’s extremely proud of you, and that he’ll be stopping by later to see how you’re doing.”

I feigned a smile, he did the same and I exhaled deeply when he left.

My hatred toward Jim was stronger than I thought, and I didn’t like it. It wasn’t healthy to have these sorts of feelings, and the level of anger he caused me was frightening. I didn’t think I was capable of hurting him physically, but for the first time, I realized just how much all of this was affecting me. I didn’t want to believe that one man could cause so much unrest inside me, but Jim had proven exactly that. This whole incident was taking its toll on me, and I wanted it to be over with. I wanted to take care of this once and for all and get on with my life. I wanted the same thing every other human being aimed toward: living a comfortable life and being happy. I didn’t want to be rich, but I wanted a fulfilling career. I didn’t want a perfect relationship, but I wanted to know what it was like to love my husband unconditionally and have him feel the same way in return. I didn’t think I was asking too much. Although
I had to admit that I was partly responsible for
the flaws in my marriage. I had to admit that my strong determination and ultimate focus on having a career hadn’t helped the situation. I had to admit that my priorities weren’t completely centered around David. But when I thought of Monica and her husband, I knew that being happily married really was possible. Although maybe I was still searching for something I was never going to discover. Maybe true happiness really didn’t exist, and all a person could strive for was something average. Maybe all I could expect was to be happy every now and then.

But this was an extremely sad thought, and I refused to buy into it until someone proved that mediocrity was the most I could hope for.

P
ARKING WAS SCARCE
when I arrived at the truck stop, but I eventually found a stall after circling the parking lot a few times. I hadn’t noticed so many cars when I’d come here before, but maybe it was the time of evening that made the difference.

We were having another ninety-degree day, so I sat with the air conditioner running and waited for Frank to show up. It was only twenty minutes till six, so he still had a few more minutes to arrive. I leaned back in my seat and relaxed. The afternoon had been rather busy, but I’d cleared my desk and walked out of the building right at five like I’d told him. There was a time when I never thought twice about working late, but I decided I wasn’t doing that anymore unless it couldn’t be helped.

V103 was playing one of Anita Baker’s old cuts, “Caught Up in the Rapture,” and I hummed along with her. She was still one of my favorite singers, and I lived for the day when she released a new CD. She’d decided some time ago to take a break from entertainment so she could spend quality time with her husband and children, but I
didn’t blame her. A small part of me still wondered if maybe I’d given up my own career, David and I would have turned out differently. But who was to say, one way or the other?

I sat five more minutes, and smiled when I heard Whitney singing “My Love Is Your Love,” because she was both mine and Mom’s favorite female singer of all time. Monica and I would sometimes laugh at Mom because she’d played that cassette with Whitney singing the national anthem at the 1991 Super Bowl every single time she drove her yellow Cadillac. As far as she was concerned, there was no one like Whitney or Luther Vandross, and I had to agree with her. Although she did grow just as fond of Babyface when I turned her on to his top-selling single “Whip Appeal” back in 1989. She even watched the video on BET and couldn’t stop saying what a “cute little thing” he was.

Frank finally pulled up behind me, so I turned off the radio and opened the door to get out. First I set the alarm, locked the doors and walked toward his SUV, which was the same as mine except it was black.

“Sorry I’m a little late,” he said when I sat inside next to him.

“No problem.”

“I wasn’t able to leave as early as I thought, but I made it.”

He drove around to the exit and then onto the ramp leading back to I-90 East.

“So was the traffic still okay coming from Mitchell?” I asked, making small talk.

“It wasn’t bad at all considering it’s prime time for rush hour.”

“Well, the parking lot at that truck stop was packed.”

“I noticed that, but maybe it’s because so many people are traveling on vacation.”

“Yeah, that’s probably true.”

We drove in silence for a whole sixty seconds, which felt more like an hour.

“Believe it or not, I’m a little nervous,” he said, keeping his eyes on the road.

“So am I.”

“I feel like a big kid, because I’ve spent all this time trying to take you out, and now I’m acting like a coward.”

“This is a little awkward for both of us, so don’t feel bad.”

“Well, I guess we can start with you telling me why you said yes in the first place. I’m still a little surprised about that.”

“David asked me for a divorce, and after finding out about Kelli getting that job, I decided it was time for me to do something for me.”

“And that’s it? That’s the only reason?”

“No, that’s not the only reason. I really wanted to go out with you.”

“So it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that you’re attracted to me.”

“Yeah, it has something to do with that, too.”

I couldn’t believe I was finally admitting that to him.

He looked at me and smiled. “I knew you were all along.”

I smiled, too, when he looked back at the highway and felt a warm feeling disseminate over me.

“Some things take a little longer to evolve than others.”

“This is true, but I’m just glad it finally happened.”

Traffic slowed as we traveled closer to Elgin. Every lane was lined with cars and semitrucks, and it wasn’t long before we rolled to a complete stop.

“Now, why don’t you tell me something about you,” I said, because even though I’d told him quite a bit about myself, I didn’t know all that much about him.

“I’ve been at Reed Meyers for five years, worked for a company in Chicago for two years prior to that, was married once, which is a long story, and don’t have any children . . . oh, and I love beautiful black women like you.”

I smiled looking straight ahead, and while the comment about beautiful black women was flattering, I wanted to know more
about this previous marriage.

“But I guess you already knew that part, huh?” he asked.

“What part is that?”

“About my weakness for beautiful black women?”

“I don’t know about the beautiful part, but I had a pretty good idea that you preferred dating black women,” I said, thinking how ironic all of this was since David preferred dating white women.

“Oh, so you’re trying to be modest, right?”

“No. I’m not.”

“Well, whether you realize it or not, you are beautiful.”

“Is that so?” I asked, trying to disguise how happy he was making me feel.

“Yes. It is.”

I smiled but didn’t respond.

So he continued. “And let’s see what else? Oh. I was born in Evanston, but my parents moved to Mitchell when they opened up their Lexus dealership.”

“Really? The one on North State?”

“Yep.”

“That’s where I leased mine a few months ago.”

“Really now? I wish I’d known, because I would have gotten my dad to give you a better deal than you probably ended up with. And if you’d gone to dinner with me before now, I would have known you were in the market for a new vehicle and could have put in a good word for you.”

“I got it over a year ago when David and I were a lot happier, so I wouldn’t have been able to go to dinner with you back then, anyway.”

“Oh well, I guess not.”

“Do you have any brothers and sisters?” I probed a little further.

“One brother who’s two years older than me,” he said, and changed to the middle lane, which was moving faster than the others.

“How old are you?” I wanted to know.

“Thirty-eight.”

“What about you?”

“I’m thirty-six.”

“I was thinking you were more like thirty-two,” he added.

“Yeah, right,” I said.

“I was. You look a lot younger than thirty-six.”

“I don’t think so, but thanks for the compliment.”

“You’re very welcome, Anise Miller.”

“Does your brother live in Mitchell?”

“Yeah, he does. He’s a State Farm agent.”

“Sounds to me like your whole family is successful.”

“Maybe, but we’ve got our problems like everyone else.”

“I was thinking earlier how none of us can probably get around that.”

“One thing that’s going on with us is that my brother did the unthinkable, and my parents aren’t too happy about it.”

“What was that?”

“He married a woman who’d already had two children out of wedlock.”

“Are they happy?”

“Who? My brother and his wife?”

“Yes.”

“Extremely.”

“Then, no offense to your parents, but why should it matter that his wife had children?”

“It shouldn’t, but they don’t treat her the way they should. They’ve treated previous girlfriends of mine better than they treat their only daughter-in-law, and my brother is constantly battling with them about it.”

“That’s too bad,” I said, wondering which girlfriends Frank had taken to meet his parents.