Tangled Up in You (16 page)

Maddie Jones.

He looked at her, his eyes clear. He shrugged one bare shoulder and said, Okay.

She didnt for one second believe he meant okay like he was okay with who she was. He wasnt connecting the dots. She licked her dry lips. My mother was Alice Jones.

A slight frown creased his brow and then he jerked back like someone had shot him. His gaze moved across her face as if trying to see something hed never noticed before. Tell me youre making a joke, Maddie.

She shook her head. Its true. Alice Jones isnt some face in a newspaper article that caught my attention. She was my mother. She reached a hand toward him, but he took a step back and her hand fell to her side. She hadnt thought she could be in more pain; shed been wrong.

His eyes stared into hers. Gone was the man whod just told her that he loved her. Shed seen Mick angry, but shed never seen him so coldly furious. Let me see if Im getting this right. My father fucked your mother and Ive been fucking you? Is that what youre telling me?

I dont see it that way.

Theres no other way to see it. He turned on his heels and moved from the kitchen.

Maddie followed him through the living room and into her bedroom. Mick

Have you gotten some sort of sick pleasure out of all this? he interrupted her as he picked up his shirt and shoved his arms through the sleeves. When you came to town, was it your intention from the beginning to totally screw with my head? Is this some sort of twisted revenge for what my mother did to yours?

She shook her head and refused to give in to the tears that threatened to fill her eyes. She would not cry in front of Mick. I didnt want to get involved with you. Ever. But you kept pushing. I wanted to tell you.

Bullshit. He pulled the shirt over his head and down his chest. If youd wanted to tell me, youd have found a way. You had no problem sharing every other detail of your life. I know you grew up fat and lost your virginity at twenty. I know you wear different scented lotion every day, and that you keep a vibrator named Carlos next to your bed. He bent forward and picked up his socks and shoes. For Christs sake, I even know youre not a butt girl. He pointed one of his shoes at her and continued, And Im supposed to believe that you couldnt work the truth into any conversation at some point before tonight!

I know that its no consolation, but I never wanted to hurt you.

Im not hurt. He sat on the edge of the bed and shoved his feet into a pair of white socks. Im disgusted.

She felt her anger rise up and she was amazed she could feel anything beyond the deep mortal pain in her chest. She reminded herself that he had a right to be furious. He had a right to know early on whom he was getting involved with instead of after the fact. Thats harsh.

Baby, you dont know harsh. He glanced up at her, then looked down as he put on his black boots and tied the laces. I spent an hour tonight trying to defend you to my sister. She tried to tell me not to get involved with you, but I was thinking with my cock. He paused to let his gaze rake her up and down. And now I have to go tell her about you. I have to tell her youre the daughter of the waitress who ruined her life and watch her come apart.

He might have more right to be angry than she did, but hearing him call her mother the waitress and worrying more about his sister than her scraped her raw emotions and pushed her over the top. You. You. You. I am so sick of hearing about you and your sister. What about me? She pointed to herself. Your mother killed my mother. At the age of five, I moved in with a great-aunt who never wanted children. Who showed more love and affection for her cats than she ever did for me. Your mother did that to me . Ive never been given so much as a second thought by you or your family. So I dont want to hear about you and your poor sister.

If your mother hadnt been sleeping around

If your father hadnt been sleeping around with about every woman in town and your mother hadnt been a vindictive bitch with a healthy dose of psychosis, then wed all be happy as clams, wouldnt we? But your father was sleeping with my mother and your mother loaded a pistol and killed them both. Thats our reality. When I moved to Truly, I expected to hate you and your sister for what your family has done to me. You look so much like your father that I expected to loathe you on sight, but I didnt. And as I got to know you, I realized that you are nothing like Loch.

I used to believe that until tonight. If you are anything in the sack like your mother, then I get why my dad was ready to walk out the door and leave us for her. You Jones women drop your clothes and the Hennessy men get stupid.

Wait! Maddie interrupted him and held up one hand. Your dad was going to leave? For my mother? Her mother had been right about Loch.

Yeah. I just found out. Guess you have something to put in your book. He smiled, but it wasnt pleasant. Im just like my dad, and youre just like your mother.

I am nothing like my mother, and you are nothing like your father. When I look at you, I just see you. Thats how I fell in love with you.

It doesnt matter what you see, because when I look at you, I dont know who you are. He stood. You arent the woman I thought you were. When I look at you now, I feel sick that I fucked the waitresss daughter.

Maddies hands clenched into fists. Her name was Alice and she was my mother.

I dont really give a shit.

I know you dont. She stormed out of the room and into her office, only to return a few moments later with a file and photograph. This was her. She held up the old framed picture. Look at her. She was twenty-four and beautiful and had her whole life ahead of her. She was flighty and immature and made horrible choices in her young life. Especially when it came to men. She pulled the crime scene photo from the files. But she didnt deserve this.

Jesus. Mick turned his head away.

Maddie dropped everything onto the dresser. Your family did this to her and to me. The least you could do is say her goddamn name when you talk about her!

Mick looked at her, his brows lowered over his beautiful eyes. Ive spent most of my life not talking or thinking about her. Im going to spend the rest of it not thinking about you. He reached for his wallet on her bed, then walked out of the room.

Above the sound of her beating heart, Maddie heard the front door slam and she flinched. That had gone worse than shed imagined. Shed thought hed be angry, but disgusted? That had hit like a punch to the stomach.

She walked to the front door and, through the peephole, watched his truck pull out of her driveway. She locked the deadbolt and leaned her back against the solid door. The tears shed refused to shed filled her eyes. A sound she almost didnt recognize as coming from her broke past the emotion in her chest. Like a puppet whose strings had been cut, she slid down until her butt hit the floor.

Meow.

Snowball climbed into her lap and scaled the front of her robe. Her tiny pink tongue licked the tears from Maddies numb cheek.

How was it possible to hurt so much but feel absolutely hollow inside?

She shouldnt be allowed to live here, Meg ranted. Our lives were fine until she showed up. Shes just like her mother. Moving to town and messing up our lives.

After Mick had left Maddies house, hed gone back to work and tried to ignore the anger and chaos in his soul. After the bar closed, he stayed and worked on business. He looked over his bank records and wrote out payroll checks. He checked inventory and made notes on what he needed to order, and after the clock struck eight, he drove to his sisters.

Someone should do something.

Mick set his coffee on the old oak table where hed eaten dinner as a kid and sat in a chair. Tell me youre not going to do anything.

She stopped and looked over at him. Like what? What can I do?

Promise you wont go anywhere near her.

What is it you think Im going to do?

He simply looked at her, and she seemed to deflate before his eyes.

Im not like Mom. Im not going to hurt anyone.

No, just herself. Promise, he insisted.

Fine. If it will make you feel better. I promise that Im not going to burn her house down. She laughed quietly and sat in the chair next to him.

Thats not funny, Meg.

Maybe not, but no one got hurt that night, Mick.

Only because hed shown up in time to pull her out of their farmhouse the night shed torched it. Shed always insisted that she hadnt been trying to kill herself. To this day, he wasnt sure he believed her.

Im not crazy, you know.

I know, he said automatically.

She shook her head. No, you dont. Sometimes you look at me and I think you see Mom.

That was so close to the truth that he didnt even bother denying it. I just think that sometimes your emotions are over the top.

To you they are, but there is a big difference between being an emotional person who rants and raves as opposed to a person who takes a gun and kills herself or anyone else.

He thought calling her outbursts being an emotional person an understatement, but he didnt want to argue. He stood and walked to the sink. Im tired and going home, he said and poured his coffee down the drain.

Get some sleep, his sister ordered.

He grabbed his keys off the kitchen table and Meg rose to hug him good-bye.

Thanks for coming by and telling me everything.

He hadnt told Meg everything. He hadnt mentioned that hed had sex with Maddie, nor that hed fallen for her. Tell Travis Ill come by tomorrow morning and take him fishing.

Hell like that. She rose and walked him to the door. Youve been so busy with work lately that you boys havent had much time together.

Hed been busy, but mostly busy chasing after Maddie Dupree. No. Maddie Jones.

Take a shower, she called after him as he made his way to his truck. You look like crap.

Which he figured was perfect, since he felt like crap. He jumped in his truck and ten minutes later he stood in his bedroom, wondering how his life had gone to complete hell.

He pulled his shirt over his head and caught a scent of Maddie. Last night shed smelled like coconut and lime and this morning was the first time since hed met her that he didnt want to bury his face in her neck. No, he wanted to wring her neck.

He tossed the shirt in the laundry basket in his closet and took off his shoes. Standing in her kitchen last night, realizing who she was, had hit him like a blow to the side of the head. If that hadnt been good enough for her, shed held up the bloody photo of her mother, which finished him off with a roundhouse kick to the gut. Shed beat the hell out of him and hed gone down for the count.

He took off his shoes and undressed. He was a fool. For the first time in his life, hed truly fallen hard for a woman. So hard it ate at his chest like acid. Only she wasnt who shed led him to believe she was. She was Maddie Jones. Daughter of his fathers last girlfriend. It didnt matter that she didnt see Loch when she looked at him or that she looked nothing like her mother. It really didnt matter that shed lied to him, or at least not as much as knowing who she really was mattered. Hed spent most of his life fighting to free himself from the past, only to fall for a woman deeply tangled up in it.

Mick walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Evidently he was more like Loch than hed ever thought, and that just pissed him off. From almost the beginning, hed known there was something about Maddie. Something that drew him in. He hadnt known what it was and couldnt have even guessed. Now he understood, and it sat in his gut like hot lead. He understood that it was the same single-minded attraction his father must have felt for her mother. The same fascination that made him want to see her smile, watch her laugh, and listen to her whisper his name as he gave her pleasure. The same sort of calm his father must have felt when he was near her mother. As if everything else dropped away and his vision cleared, and he saw what he wanted even before he knew hed wanted anything.

He stepped into the shower and let the warm water run over his head. For his father to have been planning to leave his mother for Alice Jones, Loch must have been in love with her. Mick understood that too. He was in love with Maddie Jones. He hated to admit it now. He was ashamed and embarrassed, but when shed opened her door last night and hed seen her standing there holding her cat, his heart had felt like the sun was warming him up from the inside. And hed known. Known what it felt like for a man to love a woman. Known it in every cell in his body. Every beat of his heart. Then hed carried her to her bed, and hed known what it felt like to make love to a woman, and hed been amazed.

Then shed ripped his heart from his chest.

Mick tipped his head back and closed his eyes. Hed seen and done things in his life that he regretted. Experienced heart-wrenching pain at the deaths of fellow soldiers. But the things hed done and experienced were not as bad as the regret and pain he felt over loving Maddie.

There was only one thing to do. Hed told her that he hadnt thought about her mother and that he wasnt going to think about her, and that was exactly what he planned to do. He was going to forget about Maddie Jones.

M eg opened her front door and looked into Steve Castles calm blue eyes. Shed taken a shower and hed arrived just as shed finished drying her hair. I didnt know who else to call.

Im glad you called me.

He stepped inside and followed her into the kitchen. He wore a pair of jeans and T-shirt with a cornucopia and the words everybody hates vegetarians across his chest. Over a fresh pot of coffee, she told him what shed learned from Mick.

The whole town is going to find out, and I dont know what to do.

Steve wrapped his big hand around the mug and raised it to his mouth. Doesnt sound like there is anything you can do except hold your head up, he said, then took a drink.

How can I? The last time shed talked with Steve about Maddie Dupree Jones, hed given good advice and made her feel better. This is just going to keep everyone talking about what my mother did and all my fathers affairs.

Probably, but that isnt your fault.

She stood and moved to the coffeepot. I know, but that wont keep people from talking about me. She reached for the coffee, then refilled Steves mug and hers.

No. It wont, but while theyre talking, you just keep telling yourself that you didnt do anything wrong.

She returned the coffeepot and leaned a hip against the counter. I can tell myself that, but it wont make me feel better.

Steve placed a hand on the kitchen table and stood. It will if you believe it.

You dont understand. Its so humiliating.

Oh, I understand about humiliation. When I returned from Iraq, my wife was pregnant and everyone knew the baby wasnt mine. He moved toward her, his limp barely noticeable. Not only did I have to deal with the loss of my leg and my wife, but I had to deal with her being unfaithful with an army buddy.

Oh, my God, Im sorry, Steve.

Dont be. My life was hell for a while, but its good now. Sometimes you have to go taste the shit to appreciate the sugar.

Meg wondered if that was some sort of army saying.

He reached for her hand. But you cant appreciate the sugar until you let go of all the bad shit. He brushed his thumb across the inside of her wrist and the hair on her arms tingled. What your parents did didnt have anything to do with you. You were a kid. Just like my wife screwing my buddy didnt have anything to do with me. Not really. If she was unhappy because I was gone, there were other, more honorable ways to handle it. If your mama had been unhappy because your daddy was having affairs, there were other ways to handle that too. What my wife did wasnt my fault. Just like what your mama did wasnt your fault. I dont know about you, Meg, but I dont plan on paying the rest of my life for other peoples dumb-ass mistakes.

I dont want to.

He squeezed her hand and somehow she felt it in her heart. Then dont. He pulled her toward him and placed his free hand on the side of her neck. One thing I know for sure is that you cant control what other people say and do.

You sound like Mick. He thinks I cant get over the past because I dwell on it. She turned her face into his palm.

Maybe you need something in your life to take your mind off the past.

When shed been married to Traviss daddy, she hadnt let it bother her as much as it did these days.

Maybe you need someone.

I have Travis.

Besides your son. He lowered his face and spoke against her lips. Youre a beautiful woman, Meg. You should have a man in your life.

She opened her mouth to speak, but she couldnt remember what to say. It had been a very long time since a man had told her she was beautiful. A long time since shed kissed anyone but her son. She pressed her mouth against Steves and he kissed her. A warm gentle kiss that seemed to go on forever within the sunlight spilling into the kitchen. And when it was over, he cupped her face in his rough hands and said, Ive wanted to do that for a long time.

Meg licked her bottom lip and smiled. He made her feel beautiful and wanted. Like more than just a waitress, a mom, and a woman whod just hit forty. How old are you, Steve?

Thirty-four.

Im six years older than you.

Is that a problem?

She shook her head. No, but it might be a problem for you.

Age is not a problem. He slid his hands to her back and pulled her against his chest. I just have to figure out a way to tell Mick that I want his sister.

Meg smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. She knew there were a lot of things Mick kept to himself. Most recently his relationship with Maddie Jones. Let him figure it out on his own.