Tangerine Morning: Jezzica's Story (Serenity Cove Series) (9 page)

Chapter Thirteen
 

Zack stared at the road as they headed back to Serenity Cove. It’d been a perplexing afternoon. They were having a great time, listening to Vivaldi and talking. Suddenly, as if a switch had been thrown, Jezzica became moody. She had turned toward the window and appeared to be weeping. He had no point of reference for the grieving process. He reached over and ran his fingers through the ends of her hair.

She turned her head toward him, her eyes rimmed with redness. “Sorry. I’m not good company.”

“I’m a good listener.” His arm lingered on her shoulder.

“I appreciate your help. You’ve gone out of your way, beyond what the police department would normally do.” She paused and studied the scenery. “I’m not ready to date again—I may never be.”

“Doing my job as a detective or helping you at the shop weren’t ploys to get you to go out with me. When we go out, it will be because it’s what we both want.” He reached for her hand and held it.

“I can’t be disloyal to his memory—as though he never existed.”

Sadness had apparently taken her to a place that he couldn’t imagine. “Can we be friends? I promise not to make any moves or overtures unless you decide it’s what you want.”

She smiled, tears beaming in her eyes. “Friends.” Her grin disappeared. “I may never be ready. I came here and bought the bookshop to move on with my life—but the tug from the past is too strong—I can’t fight it.”

Zack pulled next to the delivery entrance of Magnolia Antiques. Jezzica went through the back door and returned with Maggie and Catylen. “Just unload the chairs and put them in the storage room.” Maggie pointed to the back entrance of her shop.

He finished and slammed the tailgate. “Let’s go check out the remodeling.”

Maggie led the way out her front door to the bookshop. They waded through the dust and debris littering the bookshop.

Jezzica looked up at the opened rooms that had previously been an apartment. “Wow.”

“It’s going to be fantastic.” Catylen grabbed her sister’s arm.

“I want to do this to my shop. Jezzica, you’re a genius. I love it.” Maggie wore the same expression Zack recalled his younger sister having on birthdays or Christmas.

He pulled the group back as a piece of sheetrock tumbled down the stairs. “Our invitation to leave.” He held the door as the others exited.

On the way back to Maggie’s shop, Jezzica’s eyes wandered up and down Main Street. She seemed lost for a moment. “Thank you for your help today, Zack.” She reached out and touched his arm and jerked her hand away as though she’d touched a hot flame.

If Zack’s assessment was correct, Jezzica had spent the day vacillating back and forth from a positive direction to grim reminders of the past. “Are you going home?”

Jezzica hesitated for a moment. “I have a few calls to make. Are you ready, Caty?” She held the door for Catylen, then headed out to the car.

He waited until they drove away, then alerted Logan and headed to the station. Although officially off duty, he still wanted to check on the progress of the flower shop burglary. So far, he had maintained a score of zero in apprehending the culprits responsible.
I’m missing something. I thought a small town would be a cinch for a detective to make his mark by effectively lowering the crime rate.
In reality, it meant less manpower and fewer resources. He couldn’t afford to spend ten days without pursuing the criminals.

A robbery had occurred before he had come on board with the department. A convenience market had been held up at gunpoint and Logan had been shot. Under Alec’s supervision, the suspects were apprehended. Now here he was, and he hadn’t managed to solve a small theft at the flower shop. There had been other smaller incidents—items stolen out of unlocked vehicles, and personal belongings disappearing on the beach. A couple of the cottage owners had complained that furniture was missing from their decks.
At this rate, they should’ve promoted Alec to the detective division. If I have to work twenty-four-seven, I’ll get to the bottom of this.

Chapter Fourteen
 

The sky burst into radiant colors over the sea as Jezzica and Catylen enjoyed cheese on pumpernickel, and a tossed salad with an array of fresh vegetables. A flock of white pelicans with black wing feathers flew over, heading out to sea. Rusty stretched and looked up for a nanosecond, then curled back up at Jezzica’s feet.

“They look so regal.” Catylen pointed to the birds.

Jezzica leaned her elbows on the table. “It’s unsettling. Out there somewhere, we’re being watched by the SCPD.”

“I’m worried that the killers are out there, too.” Catylen pushed her empty plate to the center of the table.

“I refuse to let my mind go there.” Jezzica’s pulse rate increased, as fear clutched in her chest. “How did your session go with Dr. Ellie today?”

“I wasn’t prepared for the sessions to be focused on me. After all, I was not the one who betrayed our marriage vows. But today we started from the beginning of the marriage. My role in the marriage. My parental role. My personal values and goals.”

“You were consumed with your family’s well-being. When were you supposed to find time for yourself?” Jezzica lifted her eyebrows. “Ah, that’s the point isn’t it?”

“Exactly. I immersed myself in my role as wife and mom and left me out of the equation. When Mike did what he did, my whole world fell apart. Being a wife and mom is how I defined myself. My self-esteem hadn’t come from who I am—but rather what I did and the labels I wore.”

“So if we’re more self-centered and someone hurts us we won’t care?”

“I asked Dr. Ellie a similar question. After the initial impact of Mike’s betrayal, I became riddled with guilt. I wasn’t perfect enough as a wife. My sense of self was wrapped up in my relationship with Mike and when that tumbled, I collapsed along with it. And I internalized the blame.” Catylen stared at the sea, where darkness had settled over the waves. “I discovered today that my concept of who I am in Christ was lacking—I hadn’t even tapped the surface.”

“Mom made sure we were in church every Sunday and youth service during the week. Although all the talk about God being love and how much he loves us doesn’t compute in real life.” Jezzica nervously shifted in her chair. “Look at my life, look at yours. Where was God when these horrid things were happening? Where was His great love?” She rose and walked to the edge of the deck.

Catylen followed her and placed her hand on her sister’s shoulder. “People do bad things, Jezz. If God controlled all the actions of everyone, we’d be nothing but mere robots. God gave us free will. His grace is how we get through the storms.”

“I’m going for a walk—I won’t be long.” Jezzica rushed down the weathered steps that led to the shore. Her feet automatically picked up speed and evolved into a jog, and pushed faster still. The speed of movement had always been her saving grace. It was the one thing that controlled the pain and made it bearable—when otherwise it would’ve consumed her like a brushfire sweeping through a dry field.

God, Caty is right. It’s people who do bad things—I get that. But for someone like Geoff to be killed? Look at all the children he helped. He was a great pediatric surgeon—he cared about the children. If money was an issue, he got involved and helped find a solution. Yearly, he traveled to other countries with a team of doctors to help children in need of medical care. And God, he believed in You—why didn’t you protect him?
Jezzica detected the pounding of feet behind her. She quickened her pace as fear ripped through her. At the sound of a feminine voice calling her name, she slowed to a stop, bent over and gripped her knees, trying to control her breathing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you, I’m Officer Nicole Erickson. I’m patrolling the area, and I noticed you leaving the cottage. You’re getting a little far away to be by yourself.” She touched Jezzica’s arm. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.”
Zack isn’t going to be happy when he hears about this.
“I needed to clear my head and this is how I do it. I’m Jezzica.” She reached out her hand.

Nicole shook her hand. “How about I jog back with you?” Nicole secured her weapon and fell into an easy stride next to her.

Jezzica admired Nicole’s posture and knew she wasn’t a stranger to running. “How long have you been with the department?”

“I transferred here about three years ago. Before that, I worked with Zack in Mariner Bay.”

Was Nicole sending a message or just filling in details? “You know Zack pretty well?”

“After we went through the police academy together, we both worked for the department in Mariner Bay for another five years. I transferred here and Zack decided to go with the detective division.” Her smile said the memories were good.

“Did you have anything to do with him transferring here?” Jezzica winced at her boldness—like it was any of her business.

“No. We’re good friends. We attempted a date once. The connection wasn’t there—for either of us. With that out of the way, we developed a close friendship.” Nicole pushed her bangs off her face and looked at Jezzica. “The playing field is clear.” Jezzica studied her expression and wasn’t inclined to believe Nicole didn’t have designs on Zack.

Jezzica wrapped her arms across her chest as though protecting herself from the cold. “I’m not interested in dating. My concern is making a valuable contribution to the community and a success of my business. Doesn’t leave much time for men.” Jezzica made a point of returning Nicole’s intense look to let her know she meant every word.

Nicole slowed to a stop. “Zack fought hard for what and who he is. Don’t trample on his emotions—he doesn’t deserve it.”

Whoa, where had that come from?
“I’ve been straight with him.” She didn’t elaborate—his friend or not.

“Sorry, I have a terrible problem with being blunt. Guess I tend to be too protective of my friends.” Nicole flashed her a smile.

“No harm. So you know—I appreciate Zack. He’s been a great ally since I arrived here.”

“Thanks, Jezzica. You don’t owe me any explanations—I appreciate your candor.”

“Here we are.” Jezzica pointed to her cottage. “Nice meeting you. I enjoyed our talk.”

Nicole nodded. “Me, too. Have a good evening.”

Nicole continued marking a path in the sand, and Jezzica climbed the steps. She might deny it to Nicole, but she knew the truth and it made her cringe. If she’d loved Geoff, how could she have feelings for another man? She paused and looked at the stars.
Am I destined to spend my life alone
?

Chapter Fifteen