Taming Alec (8 page)

I realized the root of the problem. Alec would push people away because he didn’t want to get close to anyone, only to have them abandon him.

“So, that’s what it is, isn’t it? You’ve been alone your entire life. You’re afraid to trust anyone,” I said.

He shrugged. “I suppose you could chalk it up to daddy issues. It doesn’t matter. I made myself the way I am.”

“No, you didn’t. Circumstances made you the way you are, but you don’t have to be that way. Eventually, you’ll have to trust someone even if it isn’t me,” I said softly.

He frowned. “I’ve never wanted to get close to someone the way I have with you. When I saw you, I knew shit would hit the fan.”

“Why do you keep pushing me away?” I asked. “I’ve done nothing to hurt you, yet you’re determined to crush me every chance you get.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for that. It’s just…when I look at you, I want things I can’t have. There’s no way I could get tangled up in a relationship, and that’s exactly what you’d expect from me.”

“Why couldn’t you?”

He gave me a look that said he thought I was a moron. “Because I’m not relationship material. I never have been.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re an idiot. Have you ever even tried to open yourself up to someone and have a real relationship?”

He shook his head. “Nah, I don’t want to be tied down.”

“Then, how do you know that you’re not relationship material?”

“I just do.”

I wanted to beat my head against the table. Actually, I wanted to beat
his
head against the table. He was so lost and so damn stubborn that he couldn’t see past what he thought was right.

“So, where does that leave us?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I guess we can still try the friends thing.”

I snorted.

“Okay, maybe not. We weren’t very good at that, were we?”

“No, we weren’t,” I said.

He sighed. “I care about you. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But I won’t break you, Rebecca. You’re one of the few unbroken things in this fucked-up world.”

“I’m not a porcelain doll. I won’t shatter.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said softly. “You’re more breakable than you know.”

“You’re impossible, Alec! I want to pull my hair out every time I talk to you.”

He grinned. It was the first smile I’d seen from him in a long time.

“It’s part of my charm.”

“I wish you had a little less charm. It would be easier to forget you if you weren’t so charming.”

“I don’t want you to forget me,” he said quietly. “But at the same time, I do. This whole thing is so confusing.”

“Because you’re overthinking it. Maybe you should stop trying to control everything and just let things happen. It’s okay to lose control sometimes.”

His eyes darkened, and his grip on my hand tightened. “Trust me when I say you don’t want me to lose control.”

“Why not?” I asked, my voice quivering from the look he was giving me.

“If I lost control, I would fuck you senseless.” He moved closer, a predatory look in his eyes. “I’ve thought about it a million times since I met you. I can only imagine how good you would feel.”

“Then, what’s stopping you?” I whispered.

He pulled back. “Consequences.”

“Consequences be damned.” I moved closer. “I’m tired of playing these games with you. I want you, and I know you want me. Why don’t we just put each other out of our misery?”

“You want more.”

He tried to move backward, but I wouldn’t let him. For every inch he scooted away, I followed.

“Yes, I do. I think you do, too. You just won’t admit it to yourself.”

He stared at me, obviously trying to figure out what to say. “Rebecca…”

“Look me in the eyes, and tell me you don’t want this, too. Tell me I’m making a fool of myself by practically throwing myself at you. Tell me that, and I’ll never bother you again.”

“Of course I want you! If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here. But you’re going to end up hurt if I do anything about it. You deserve better than that!”

“Why don’t you let me decide what I want?” I moved closer again. I refused to let him escape me this time.

I was tired of playing games. I wanted Alec, and he wanted me. I pulled my hand away and grabbed the bottom of my shirt. Before I could think about what I was doing, I pulled it over my head.

Alec’s eyes widened in surprise as my face heated with embarrassment. I’d never been shirtless around a man. Determined not to lose my nerve, I leaned forward and kissed him. He cupped the back of my head to pull me closer. The kiss was sweet despite the position we were in. He took his time as his tongue explored every inch of my mouth.

“If we do this, there’s no going back, Alec, not for me. If you can’t handle more than sex, you need to go,” I said when he released me.

He stared at me for what felt like an eternity as he battled with himself. I saw determination in his eyes when he finally came to a decision. My heart broke when he pushed me away and stood.

He stared down at me. “No going back,” he whispered more to himself than to me.

I shrieked when he leaned down and scooped me off the couch. “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking you to your room to fuck you senseless.”

“Finally!”
I said as he carried me back to my room.

He laughed as he tossed me onto the bed. I raised my hips as he tugged my shorts down my legs. I felt naked even though I was still in my bra and underwear. What we were about to do finally dawned on me. I was going to have sex with this man. I’d never had sex with anyone. The thought of having sex with Alec thrilled and terrified me at once. He had so much experience, and I had none. There was no way I could compete with the other women he’d been with.

I watched as he tugged his shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor. Next, he pulled his jeans off and kicked them away. My eyes roamed his nearly naked body, taking in every inch of him. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I held back. He was the one in control of this situation. He would tell me what to do.

He lay down beside me and ran his thumb across my bottom lip. “Are you sure about this?”

I nodded. “I’m terrified, but I’m sure.”

“Why are you terrified?” he asked.

I looked away, embarrassed to tell him that I was twenty-three and still a virgin.

“Hey, look at me. What’s wrong?” he asked.

When I turned back to him, he studied me, and his eyes widened in disbelief.

“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

I nodded, and he chuckled.

“I should have guessed. You’re a virgin, but you’re willing to do this with me? Jesus, Rebecca. That’s a lot for a man to handle.”

“I trust you,” I said. And I did.

He’d given me more reasons not to trust him, but it didn’t matter. I trusted Alec. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, no matter what he thought of himself.

“How the hell are you still a virgin?” he asked. “The second I saw you, I started thinking of ways to get you naked. I know I’m not the only man who’s thought about it.”

I tried not to be embarrassed. “I’ve never really been interested in any guy enough to give one a chance.”

“But you want me?”

“Yeah, I do.”

He shook his head. “This is more than I expected when I carried you in here. I wasn’t expecting to take your virginity.”

He seemed bothered by the prospect. I reached out and took his hand.

“No going back, remember?” I said.

He stared at me for a moment before leaning down to brush his lips against mine. “No going back.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down closer to me. I sighed in contentment as his body relaxed against mine. He kissed me softly on the corner of my mouth before moving to my cheek. I turned my head as he kissed a trail to my ear. He pressed a kiss under my ear, and I shuddered. I felt his lips turn up into a grin. He bit down gently on my ear before kissing down to my neck. My breathing grew erratic as he kissed lower. I jumped when his lips found the swell of my breast.

“You okay?”

“Never better,” I mumbled.

He kissed between my breasts and down my stomach to the top of my panties. When he started pulling on them, I raised my hips to help him. He pulled them down my legs and dropped them to the floor.

“Sit up,” he said, his voice rough.

I did as he’d said. He kissed me on the lips before reaching around to unfasten my bra. My cheeks flamed as it fell away.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful, Rebecca.” He trailed his fingers between my breasts. “I want to touch you everywhere.”

He gently pushed me back before kissing his way up my stomach. I gasped when his mouth closed over my nipple. He ran his tongue back and forth, causing me to arch off the bed. I cried out when he reached out and pinched my other nipple between his thumb and finger. He released my nipple from his mouth and ran his tongue down my stomach. My breath caught when he spread my legs apart and settled in between them. He swirled his tongue around my clit, and I grabbed his shoulders, my nails digging in.

“You taste sweeter than I imagined.” He ran his hand up and down my thigh.

His fingers moved up until he found my entrance. He thrust two fingers in, and I moaned. It felt uncomfortable for a moment, but once my body grew used to it, I thought I might explode. His tongue and fingers were doing wondrous things to my body.

As he continued his assault on my body, I felt myself building. My hips thrust up, completely out of my control. I threw my head back as stars exploded in front of my eyes. His tongue never stopped moving until I slowly floated back down. As he finally pulled away, we were both breathing heavily.

My eyes followed him as he stood and reached for his jeans. He pulled out his wallet and opened it. I froze as he took out a condom, my body stiff with sudden nerves. He dropped his wallet and jeans back onto the floor. I watched with rapt attention as he slid his boxers down his legs. I couldn’t help but stare at him, all of him.

I sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. “I guess I know why they call you Spike,” I mumbled as I kept my eyes glued to the piece of metal in the head of his dick. His nickname made sense to me now.

He tensed for a second. “Where did you hear that?”

“One of your bartenders. I wondered why that was your nickname. Now, I know.”

He laughed.

“Can I touch you?” I asked quietly.

He groaned. “You can do anything you want to me.”

He stepped closer to the bed. I reached out and trailed my fingers down his shaft. It felt like steel wrapped in silk.

“It’s so soft,” I said as I wrapped my hand around his dick.

He groaned again. “That’s not something a guy wants to hear when a chick is touching him like that.”

I giggled. “You know what I mean.”

I slid my hand back and forth, memorizing the feel of him. I avoided the piercing, afraid that I’d hurt him. Finally, I released him and ran my hands up the firm muscles of his stomach. I explored every inch of him before moving up to his chest. I ran my fingers around the outside of his nipples before finally flicking them. I loved touching him like this.

“Okay, enough of that. Keep it up, and this will end sooner than either of us wants.” He scooped me up and tossed me back down onto my pillows.

I laughed, unable to stop myself. Being with Alec like this was easy. My fears started to disappear.

“I’m going to be as gentle as I can, Rebecca, but this is going to hurt.” He ripped open the condom packet.

I watched in fascination as he slid it on.

He climbed back onto the bed and positioned himself over me. “We’ll go slow though. Are you ready?”

I closed my eyes as I felt him pressing against my entrance. My entire body tensed. “Yes, I’m ready.”

“No, you’re not. You have to relax.” He leaned down and kissed me deeply.

I sighed into his mouth. His lips did wonderful things to me. I was jolted back to reality when he began to slide into me. He took his time, pushing in inch by inch. I felt an uncomfortable pressure, but there was no pain like I’d expected.

“I feel like my dick is in a vise.” He said as he grinned down at me. “I’m going to go all the way in, okay?”

I nodded and gripped his shoulders. “Okay.”

With one final thrust, he entered me fully. I gasped in pain as I clung to him. My eyes watered, and I fought back the tears desperate to escape. He froze as he allowed my body to adjust.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered against my lips.

“It’s okay,” I whimpered.

“Tell me when you’re ready for me to move,” he said before kissing me.

I focused on his lips as the pain slowly disappeared.

“I’m ready,” I said against his lips.

The muscles in his arms tensed as he carefully pulled out and pushed back in. I winced at the pain. Noticing my discomfort, he slowed down. I clung to him as the pain started to fade with each thrust. Once it disappeared, I started to relax.

“I’m okay now,” I said.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” I squeezed his arms, letting him know that I really was.

He increased his speed bit by bit until he had a regular rhythm. As his pace increased, I raised my hips to meet his thrusts.

“Faster,” I begged as I held on to him.

I’d never felt anything like this. It was no wonder my friends had been so obsessed with sex in college. I’d thought they were stupid, but it was clearly me who had been the fool. Then again, I was glad that Alec was my first. With him, it felt right. There was no rhyme or reason behind it. It just was.

He paused long enough to grab one of my legs before thrusting into me roughly. In this new position, he went deeper. I cried out as sweat broke across my skin. He leaned down and sucked one of my nipples into his mouth, never breaking his rhythm. I moaned and dug my nails deeper into his shoulders.

“You’re so fucking tight. Pure nirvana,” he grunted as he pounded into me.

I felt myself building again. Seconds later, my body spasmed around him, and I cried out. This was nothing like before. I felt like I could reach out and touch heaven. He increased his thrusts as I came. Finally, his body tensed as he followed right behind me. He shouted my name as he buried his face in my neck.